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Escaped Convict Continues To Update Facebook 125

Posted by samzenpus
from the hiding-in-farmville dept.
Craig "Lazie" Lynch has been on the run from a U.K. prison since September. However, he continues to taunt police by updating his Facebook status. Now he is threatening to quit. From the article: "It seems, though, that late Sunday, Lynch began experiencing a little emotional pain. In what must have been an almost teary update, he posted: 'right I'm coming off this page as I have better things to do.' Who might have imagined that, in his mysterious hideaway, Lynch had something better to do than continue his run as a Facebook attraction?"

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Escaped Convict Continues To Update Facebook

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  • http://www.wired.com/vanish/2009/08/author-evan-ratliff-is-on-the-lam-locate-him-and-win-5000/ [wired.com]

    i guess finding a missing writer wasn't that exciting, why not go for finding a missing convict?

    i suggest wired take it to even the next level, and just go and challenge us to find osama bin laden

    not a bad idea, since the combined might of the world's governments can't seem to do the job of neutralizing that symbol

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by LOLLinux (1682094)

      i suggest wired take it to even the next level, and just go and challenge us to find osama bin laden

      not a bad idea, since the combined might of the world's governments can't seem to do the job of neutralizing that symbol

      But capturing or killing him won't do anything. He'll just be a martyr and someone else will take his place.

      • he's a symbol (Score:2, Insightful)

        the idea would be to capture him and try him. i doubt that is possible though, not because he is impossible to find, but he would probably kill himself if he saw his capture as imminent, well knowing himself that his status as a martyr is preferable

        and of course other people will take his place, but no one with his fame/ infamy. that matters

        the point is, you shouldn't just kill the man. you should kill his name. and you can only do this with a trial. the chance of that ever actually happening though is unfo

        • Re:he's a symbol (Score:5, Insightful)

          by Obfuscant (592200) on Monday December 28, 2009 @07:24PM (#30577478)
          ...but he would probably kill himself if he saw his capture as imminent, well knowing himself that his status as a martyr is preferable

          Preferable to whom? If "martyr" was his preferred status, HE'D be the one with a bomb tied to himself. People who want to BE martyrs do it. People who talk a good martyr status send others out to die in their place.

          the point is, you shouldn't just kill the man. you should kill his name. and you can only do this with a trial.

          Yeah, Charlie Manson's name is so dead. Jefferey Dahmer, too. No, the real way to "kill his name" is to find him the same way Hussein was found: hiding in a little hole in the ground. Which is how he'll probably be found.

          that's way more important than killing the man: killing his ideology

          The concept that "freedom of the press" will allow wide dissemination and discrediting of nutballs requires a press that is free enough to report what the nutball said and unbiased enough to report it in nutball context. While our press may meet those requirements, it is unlikely that the press in many other countries do, and highly unlikely that the people who are the prime candidates for recruitment into extremist groups will be served by a free press.

          • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

            Preferable to whom? If "martyr" was his preferred status, HE'D be the one with a bomb tied to himself. People who want to BE martyrs do it. People who talk a good martyr status send others out to die in their place.

            do you suggest us generals man the front lines? if us generals won't do that, does that nullify their legitimacy in the eyes of their troops? no matter what war you are in, it makes sense to protect the brains of the operation from the front lines. that bin laden won't strap a bomb to himself up

            • by Obfuscant (592200)
              do you suggest us generals man the front lines? if us generals won't do that, does that nullify their legitimacy in the eyes of their troops?

              I suggested nothing of the sort, and you know it.

              Generals are not trying to be martyrs. Your attempt at equating Bin Laden as a martyr and military generals is either ignorance beyond any reasonable measure or deliberately insulting.

              The message I replied to was talking about Bin Laden and how he'd probably kill himself when he was about to be caught because of his

          • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

            by Moridin42 (219670)

            No, not preferable to whom. Preferable under which conditions. If the choice is between becoming a martyr or capture and trial by western law, which do you suppose is preferable?

            Very few people who have actual goals desire becoming a martyr. Its sort of a least worst alternative status.

            capcha.. confine. /. made a funny.

        • by rtb61 (674572)

          When it comes to a terrorist figure head, what is interesting in this day and age, is how they are used by both sides to further their own purposes. One side uses them as a living threat, that must be acted against and that society must be willing to surrender some civil liberties to protect against and also must heavily invest in security measure to protect against further attacks led by that individual. The other side uses them as a rallying point, a proof of strength by their continued freedom and activ

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          the point is, you shouldn't just kill the man. you should kill his name. and you can only do this with a trial. the chance of that ever actually happening though is unfortunately very small, but it would be wonderful if osama bin laden were alive, in custody, and ready to be tried for his crimes

          How do you think a trial would do this? Even though such a trial would be 100% by the books, with no room for error, do you think those who follow him would believe that it was anything other than rigged from the start?

          let him speak freely even. so you can slay his thinking directly on the stand. that's way more important than killing the man: killing his ideology

          The problem with attacking ideology is that it's a lot like attacking religion. Believers won't hear a word, no matter how logical and persuasive your case may be. And non-believers don't need convincing in the first place.

        • by Jaysyn (203771)

          Have we heard anything from him lately? I kinda figured he was dead & buried under a bombed-out cave somewhere.

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by Idiomatick (976696)
          After witnessing the sham that was Saddam's trial I'm certain that any trial Osama gets will be laughable at best. Anyone that followed the Saddam trial in any detail nearly ended up rooting for the guy at the end.
      • At this point, I am beginning to lean towards one of two things

        • Either he does not exist
        • or the government(s) do(es) not actually want him to be found
      • by CAIMLAS (41445)

        That's why it's important to publicly humiliate him by his own beliefs, as well - to show him as a fraud and/or hypocrite. Child porn? Drinking problems? Sodomy? Pick something.

        • by LOLLinux (1682094)

          Except those will all be easily dismissed as the trumped up charges they are. That will only feed the anti-US feelings by the Al Qaeda supporters.

    • by Zero__Kelvin (151819) on Monday December 28, 2009 @08:12PM (#30577860) Homepage
      I would think you would be encouraging people to help find your MISSING SHIFT KEY!
      • Re: (Score:1, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward

        i KNOW WHERE THE SHIFT KEY IS. iT'S THE CAPSLOCK THAT i CAN'T FIND. pLEASE HELP ME.

    • Nah. The US government would prevent everyone from finding their most precious agent.

      Everyone knows where he lives anyway. And nobody does anything for that very reason.

    • Well, I guess you could say the US government has already done that. In fact for the capturing, killing, or providing information leading to the capturing or killing of Osama bin Laden could net you the nice amount of $50 million dollars [shortnews.com]. I guess wired just has a better marketing campaign.

  • taunting? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by girlintraining (1395911) on Monday December 28, 2009 @06:40PM (#30577176)

    Sometimes it's not taunting -- sometimes it's a guy who's just tired of running. Sometimes it's a person who has no choice but to keep running, but wants to get caught. Before you jump to conclusions, let me share--

    True story:

    There was someone once upon a time who had gotten in with the wrong crowd. As it turns out, there's quite a demand for computer geniuses in the underworld and after being noticed and blackmailed, this person was in the unenviable position of having to assist an organized criminal group in defeating the electronic and physical security of various operations. S/he couldn't go to the authorities directly because s/he was being watched constantly by the co-conspirators and if s/he tried to leave s/he would be killed. So this person started leaving subtle clues behind in the equipment that s/he tampered with and elsewhere at the scene. This group was later responsible for clearing out several floors of a skyscraper and police were able to follow the clues left behind (or as you would call them "taunts") to eventually locate the person behind it and shut the group down. That person served a few years in jail, and later became best friends with the arresting officer. This individual now works as a consultant to the agency responsible for the arrest, helping them to gather electronic evidence.

    Even the dumbest criminal knows by now that posting online under your own name when you're wanted by the cops is stupid. I'm forced to conclude there's a non-obvious motive for this behavior.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Lumpy (12016)

      You do know there are countries where you can run to that you cant be extradited from. Problem is 99.99785% of all criminals are too stupid to do that. Hell this specific dork cant stop posting on facebook.

      • You do know there are countries where you can run to that you cant be extradited from.

        Interesting. I'd love to see the list. Though I imagine it depends on which country you are running from, right?

        • Interesting. I'd love to see the list. Though I imagine it depends on which country you are running from, right?

          Yup, each country has its own treaties about extradition.
          After some Googling, here's an article about extradition specific to UK [homeoffice.gov.uk].
          Any country *not* in the two lists (part 1 and 2 of the act) is safe.

          Well, not all countries are safe per se. I doubt Afghanistan and Pakistan could count as safe, but they are at least safe from extradition. The 2 Congos won't be a nice place either. Indonesia could be a better bet. China and North Korea are not on the list for obvious political reasons. Strangely, nor is Japan o

      • Re:taunting? (Score:4, Insightful)

        by girlintraining (1395911) on Monday December 28, 2009 @07:04PM (#30577364)

        You do know there are countries where you can run to that you cant be extradited from. Problem is 99.99785% of all criminals are too stupid to do that. Hell this specific dork cant stop posting on facebook.

        *face palm* There's one of you in every discussion like this.

        1. This guy did an armed robbery. Do you really think there's a lot of countries out there that are going to welcome that with open arms? Reason for citizenship application: "I luv my gun and robbin' shit." Request granted! He didn't do it for political reasons, or because he has dual nationality and the country he's fleeing to doesn't consider it a crime, etc.

        He could flee to a relatively isolated area and probably rest easy knowing that the authorities have better things to worry about than him. But then, that's what bounty hunters are for -- these people can take the risks required to grab him and get him to the border because they're not agents of the government paying them for the collar. You think those "$100,000 reward for capture" posters don't look appealing? A plane ticket, a little bit of research, and a criminal's ego is all it takes to bring home the bacon.

        • by MarkvW (1037596)

          Silly. There is no bail. He was serving time.

          No reward either.

          Fool's poking a stick at a sleeping bear.

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          Bounty hunters are an American thing. In other countries you cannot just walk in somewhere with a gun and kidnap people just because you post a sign over your door saying 'bounty hunter', and get a $50 license from the local sheriff. They will be arrested for kidnapping if they try. American bounty hunters have been arrested for kidnapping for grabbing people from countries outside of America. Daniel Kear was convicted of kidnapping in Canada and sent to prison after he grabbed a fleeing felon from Toronto
        • But then, that's what bounty hunters are for -- these people can take the risks required to grab him and get him to the border because they're not agents of the government paying them for the collar. You think those "$100,000 reward for capture" posters don't look appealing? A plane ticket, a little bit of research, and a criminal's ego is all it takes to bring home the bacon.

          Nevertheless, none of those bounty hunters you mentioned have yet located this particular guy, despite the fact that he's posting on Facebook...

          Not saying you're wrong, mind you, but if they can't find him while he is (presumably) still in the U.K., what makes you think they will be able to find him in one of these other countries?

      • by mysidia (191772)

        Yeah, but how's he going to get the cash for transportation and credentials to get out of the country legally, without drawing attention?

        Trying to cross the border or get on an airplane without a real ID/passport is pretty risky...

        Part of the purpose of border security is to prevent such fleeing attempts.

      • Re:taunting? (Score:5, Insightful)

        by jollyreaper (513215) on Monday December 28, 2009 @10:59PM (#30578954)

        You do know there are countries where you can run to that you cant be extradited from. Problem is 99.99785% of all criminals are too stupid to do that. Hell this specific dork cant stop posting on facebook.

        Armed robbery indicates we're not dealing with a brain trust in the first place. Any smart criminal knows you steal more with a pen an briefcase than any gun. And if you're really good your thieving is all legal. Guns are for idiots.

    • by MarkvW (1037596)

      You are naive. Many crooks are monumentally stupid. Many are too stupid to live,in fact. They die, stupidly.

      The 'master criminal' looks great in the fiction media, but he doesn't appear in real life that often. I doubt that this dirtbag is any Einstein, given that he is STUPID enough to bring a weapon along during his burglary.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        You are naive. Many crooks are monumentally stupid. Many are too stupid to live, in fact. They die, stupidly. The 'master criminal' looks great in the fiction media, but he doesn't appear in real life that often. I doubt that this dirtbag is any Einstein, given that he is STUPID enough to bring a weapon along during his burglary.

        Stupidity and desperation are two very different things. And very smart people in history have done very stupid things. It's naive of you to assume a person's intelligence is the only, or even an important, factor in their behavior.

      • Uuum, WTF?

        Go tell that to yourself, when you ever have a total retard hold a gun at your head and threaten to kill you if you don’t do some very intelligent stuff.

        Don’t EVER dare to judge anyone that you don’t understand. Even if it’s Hitler and the devil’s lovechild of doom!

      • Re: (Score:1, Troll)

        by linzeal (197905)
        Master criminals wear suits and work on Wall Street or Washington.
    • by MarkvW (1037596)

      You ignore context.
      "Even the dumbest . . ."

      The context was not about motivation.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Hurricane78 (562437)

      Girl(intraining), there’s no need to hide it. We know it’s you. ^^

      What gave it away? The “s/he’. :)

      • *sighs* With what we know today about privacy -- a zip code, gender, and last name is all it takes to uniquely identify a person in the majority of cases, I feel it's necessary to obscure as much as possible. But you're entitled to your opinion...

        • Yeah, but you obscured something, that no man would have thought of obscuring. :D

          • Yeah, but you obscured something, that no man would have thought of obscuring. :D

            Which probably proves the gender of girlintraining, but ultimately leaves the gender of the hero/ine of the story still in doubt.

            Though I'd still lay odds it was a guy. A female in such a life-or-death predicament has other... assets... at her disposal. Definitely not a good situation for her, but she's got ways to work an escape that are gender-specific -- and operate primarily on the weaknesses of that *other* gender.

    • by vegiVamp (518171)
      > Even the dumbest criminal knows by now that posting online under your own name when you're wanted by the cops is stupid. I'm forced to conclude there's a non-obvious motive for this behavior.

      You severely underestimate man's capacity of self-delusion and stupidity, I'm afraid.
  • by DNS-and-BIND (461968) on Monday December 28, 2009 @06:55PM (#30577310) Homepage

    Some guy gets fed up with facebook and states, as his last update, that he has better things to do with his life. How many thousand times did that happen every day in 2009?

    PS after the initial escape, authorities don't really pursue fugitives that hard. They'll hit the system sooner or later, and when they do the long arm of the law will reach in and grab them. Living the rest of your life off the grid sounds cool, but in actuality it sucks. Most modern people won't stand for it and prefer a modern prison to a pre-modern lifestyle.

    • by Renraku (518261) on Monday December 28, 2009 @07:07PM (#30577382) Homepage

      Truth.

      As soon as you get an official paycheck (if you even make it through the hiring process because damn near everyone does background checks), they'll know where you are. As soon as you open any new accounts, they'll know where you are. As soon as you apply for a loan or line of credit, they'll know where you are. Can you really survive with no available credit, no official job (or at least, a really low-paying job), and no way to get utilities/services?

      Sure, you could live in a tent in the woods, shower in gas stations, etc, but all of that is a pain in the ass. People will realize that it's easier just to leave the country or return to prison and serve out their time. A few years in jail is much better than being imprisoned by exclusion from the rest of society and most of its benefits.

      • by Zero__Kelvin (151819) on Monday December 28, 2009 @08:23PM (#30577940) Homepage

        "Can you really survive with no available credit, no official job (or at least, a really low-paying job), and no way to get utilities/services?"

        Ii is a trick question, because you are assuming people have no way of doing it, when in fact many people have figured out a way. I assure you that people work "under the table" and get girlfriends or others to subscribe to services like utilities etc. all of the time. In many cases this has nothing to do with trying to hide from the law. They simply have bad credit and can't get hired by anyone else, or make more money working that way. I have known hundreds of such people in my lifetime.

        • by westlake (615356)

          I have known hundreds of such people in my lifetime.

          If you've known "hundreds" who have been living underground, then they can't have been buried very deep.

          It has never been easy for a fugitive to break all contact with the world he left behind. These stories tend o have much the same ending:

          The manhunt for Daniel Hicks stretched to California after the 30-year-old fugitive made a collect call to his father from San Jose on Wednesday Seattle double-murder suspect arrested in Santa Cruz [santacruzsentinel.com]

          Fugitive's Girlfrien [northcountrygazette.org]

          • "If you've known "hundreds" who have been living underground, then they can't have been buried very deep."

            First of all, there is no need to put "quotes" around the "word" "hundreds" when "paraphrasing" my point. That just makes you look like a "moron" who is "implying" that I am a "liar". Underground is underground. Unless you taunt the police, are a fugitive from a really high profile crime like murder, or are Lex Luthor that is good enough.

            "It has never been easy for a fugitive to break all contact wit

      • Judging by the millions of illegal aliens in the US who manage to thrive without providing ID to anyone, I'd say it is quite doable, though things might be more challenging in the UK welfare/surveillance state.
      • by fafalone (633739)
        First of all, most modern conveniences are available without using your real name and without breaking the law:
        -Use prepaid mobile phones.
        -Establish utilities under relatives/roommates name; or even a made up name.
        I have my own bedroom, glorious computer w/ 22mbps cable internet, electricity, water, and a cell phone with unlimited talk+text; NONE of which is under my name. And I'm not even hiding, it's actually the most convenient setup for me at this point. I personally pay for it all through a legitim
      • But there are *PLENTY* of people who work under the radar. For example, I've met a number of immigrants who worked within their own ethnic group on a cash-basis. The pay was less than you might get for a legit job, but the work itself wasn't necessarily bad or illegal. In many cases it was students working, prior to a more recent law change that allowed you to work part-time when in on a student visa.

        Then you get into the illegal work. I'd imagine that there's plenty of jobs had for those that are willing t

        • by Whorhay (1319089)

          Getting a real ID for a deceased person might not even be all that hard. I remember when I went in to get a driver's license all they wanted was stuff I could obtain without verifying my identity independantly. The process could follow along these lines:

          1. Find the name of a person that died very young and born about the same time as you.

          2. Send a letter to the county health office of that person's birth requesting a copy of that person's birth certificate, as if you were that person. They don't bother to t

    • Some guy gets fed up with facebook and states, as his last update, that he has better things to do with his life. How many thousand times did that happen every day in 2009?

      Fair enough, but most of them are emo...

    • ...which is also an aspect of the deterence and protection of society features of prison: if you do manage to live off the grid, you're pretty much harmless to society, and careful not to get caught doing wrong. Heck throw in the punishment and reform features as well: you can say goodbye to modern lifestyle.

      • by mysidia (191772)

        What do you mean, you're harmless?

        Someone living off the grid might take up other crimes to sustain themselves, since they can't get a legit job, apparently.

        One successful heist or smuggling operation, and they're raking in the dough...

        They can buy their modern lifestyle with cold hard cash.

        Rent a place under a fake name, utilities under a fake name.

        Well, this is not my area of expertise, I don't know exactly what works, and it might be different for different people.

        But I expect they could liv

    • by phorm (591458)

      PS after the initial escape, authorities don't really pursue fugitives that hard.

      Actually, the whole situation is rather sad. There's an individual that AFAIK now has two warrants out for his arrest for breaching no-contact orders, harassment, etc, but despite the fact that everyone is rather sure he's just holed up at home 90% of the time, the police can't enter to nab him. I'd imagine that with two warrants getting some paperwork to enter and seize him wouldn't be too bloody hard, but all they do at the

  • Easy Catch (Score:3, Funny)

    by Tehrasha (624164) on Monday December 28, 2009 @07:50PM (#30577680) Homepage
    Tell the MPAA that he downloaded a cam'd version of Avatar. He'll be located, and his butt will be in jail by the end of the day.
  • Facebook?!? (Score:5, Funny)

    by gardel999 (1691708) on Monday December 28, 2009 @08:37PM (#30578038)
    This Birdman of Alcatraz ought to be tweeting, don't you think?
  • ... to tag convicts with a GPS whenever they go out? My understanding is that he was out on day release.

    The GPS could be attached to an armband that could administer a paralyzing shock similar to a taser if the device is tampered with so it couldn't be easily removed.

    • by lyml (1200795)
      I'm guessing it would be extremely easy to foist and extremely expensive hardware. Hell, while you're running and before you have time to remove it just wrap it in tinfoil that will make it nothing more than an expensive ugly armband.
    • Cue the tinfoil hat references in 3....2....1....
  • Don't RTFA. While moderately informative, it's filled with cynicism. And while I enjoy a little cynicism now and then, I prefer my news to be objective. Browse the internet (news.google.com has some interesting stuff) instead.
  • Every week he leaves a clue to lure the caped crusader into a devious trap.

  • Next... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Tolvor (579446) on Monday December 28, 2009 @10:21PM (#30578782)

    (Gasp) Someone escapes prison and starts updating Facebook? And instead he could be doing something unconstructive like lifting some unwatched goods and running some simple 419 scams. But noooo... this guy updates his Facebook page. Who knows what comes next - World of Warcraft raids, and watching endless YouTube videos? Geez, someone get him a gun before it's too late.

    If not he might become something worse, like a web developer. (shudder)

  • who are posting taunts on their Myspace accounts are wishing that they could get some attention.
  • RIAA (Score:3, Funny)

    by DrugCheese (266151) on Tuesday December 29, 2009 @01:05AM (#30579616)

    This guy better not download any illegal music. They'd find him and fine him quickly.

  • One look at his page gives solid proof why anyone on a council estate should be neutered.
  • going by that article you'd think their method is something a simple as re.replace("\b(LOL)\b", "laughing out loud",text), but if you actually read the patent, the illustrations alone take up 12 pages. they use methods to determine meaning of the acronym based on context.

    patents are too hard for me to read so i don't really know how abusive this is, but the important thing is we won't be paying royalties any time soon for LOLing.

    the article is worded to push your buttons.

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