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Raleigh Councilman Offers Child Naming Rights To Google 121

Posted by samzenpus
from the youtube-is-your-godfather dept.
Anonymous Meoward writes "In what may be the weirdest perk proposed by a municipal authority to entice business, city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google. All he wants in return is the search giant to build its proposed high-speed fiber-optic network in Raleigh."

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Raleigh Councilman Offers Child Naming Rights To Google

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  • Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)

    by DoofusOfDeath (636671) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:53AM (#31657220)

    So his kid may have to go through life with an arbitrarily bad name, because it will help this guy's career and/or home town?

    I wonder what other kinds of crap this guy is going to pull over the next 18 years. Poor kid.

    • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Funny)

      by dingen (958134) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:55AM (#31657274)
      His kids will be Gaylords, no matter what he calls 'em.
      • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Funny)

        by Rhaban (987410) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:58AM (#31657316)

        Sergey or Gary Gaylord can't be worse names than Bonner Gaylord.

        • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Funny)

          by dingen (958134) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:03AM (#31657418)
          At least it's not Boner Gaylord.
          • Turok Gaylord?

            • by hairyfeet (841228)

              Could be worse, could be Peter Gaylord. It doesn't surprise me though, as I've met a few kids growing up where I thought "WTF were their parents thinking?". For example there was a girl in my class whose parents named her Sandy Bush and her brother's name was Harold (which of course got shortened to Harry).

              At least my GF and I have excuses for our names, my mom went into labor while watching Thunderball in the theater so I got named Sean, while my GF's mom went into labor in the middle of a Brenda Lee conc

              • by sarahbau (692647)

                I'm in Raleigh, but would never vote to reelect him, even though I would really like Google to bring its network trials here. If he's willing to sell his kid's names to further his career, what other shady things would he be willing to do?

              • by Thiez (1281866)

                > But considering the fact that we have become such money whores that girls sell their virginity [foxnews.com] to the highest bidder, why should we be even surprised that some douche is willing to sell his kid's names? At least he'll get reelected if he pulls it off, and maybe fiber to the home.

                How is this worse than 'normal' prostitution? The 'girls' you speak of is a single person and is 22 years of age. The highest offer mentioned is about $3.7 million, I think she's getting a pretty good deal for giv

          • by fafaforza (248976)

            With the worsening comprehension of the language, I'm not sure that most people would recognize a difference.

        • by dintech (998802)

          Well, it's easy to promise to name your children Sergey and Gary if there aren't actually going to be any...

        • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

          by ThiagoHP (910442)

          Sergey or Gary Gaylord can't be worse names than Bonner Gaylord.

          In Portuguese, "Sergey" is pronounced exactly like "ser gay", which means "to be gay". Sergey Gaylord would be quite amusing. :P

      • by cffrost (885375)

        His kids will be Gaylords, no matter what he calls 'em.

        Not A. Gaylord?
        Imno Gaylord?

    • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Manfre (631065) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:00AM (#31657370) Homepage Journal

      Sergey and Larry are not really bad names considering his kids will already be teased for their last name. It's not like he's going to name the kids "Adolf Hitler Gaylord" or "Sarah Palin Gaylord", like those other parent of the year candidates. I would feel bad for a girl if she was named Sergey or Larry.

      I'm curious if Google would rip out all the fiber if/when Mr Gaylord fails to provide children.

      • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Funny)

        by krou (1027572) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:37AM (#31657950)

        Sergey and Larry are not really bad names considering his kids will already be teased for their last name

        Not until the one kid gets the nickname Sir Gay Gaylord.

      • by jonadab (583620)
        Sarah's a sufficiently common name that "Sarah Gaylord" wouldn't be a big deal. Nobody'd even know she was named after a modern famous person until they find out her middle name. Most kids are at least slightly embarrassed about their middle names, but they quickly discover that everyone else is too, so it's generally no big deal unless it's really extreme, and being named after a famous politician (well, apart from Hitler) isn't as extreme as all that.

        Adolf as a first name, of course, would be a terrible
      • by Wyatt Earp (1029)

        Really? Sarah Palin is now up with Adolf Hitler?

        Pol Pot, Iosif Stalin, Mao, Glenn Beck, now those are up with Hitler, but who did Sarah Palin kill?

        Sarah is a perfectly good name.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by SatanicPuppy (611928) *

      Yea, well it'd have to be better than Boner Gaylord Jr, now wouldn't it?

      Seriously, what's he got to lose?

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by dingen (958134)

        Boner Gaylord Jr

        Are we still talking about his child?

        • by thijsh (910751)
          Found in the phonebook: Gaylord, Junior Boner. Oh and yeah, he's probably talking about his child... the puppy being a priest of satan and all (oh no it was the other side that does the buggering).
      • by Chrisq (894406)

        Yea, well it'd have to be better than Boner Gaylord Jr, now wouldn't it?

        Seriously, what's he got to lose?

        His parents were involved in an attempt to attract business from a male-on-male porn magazine.

    • So his kid may have to go through life with an arbitrarily bad name, because it will help this guy's career and/or home town?

      I wonder what other kinds of crap this guy is going to pull over the next 18 years. Poor kid.

      Nah. I take he took into account that both names were pretty common. There are lots of Sergeis and Larries around. I take he wouldn't have come up with a similar idea concerning Mr. Obama. Simply because the name Barak is not heard very often -I never heard of it before Obama was in the news- and it will inevitably be directly associated with Mr. Obama.

    • by catd77 (1743104)
      Yep, well that guy must be really desperate. Typical politicians...
      • My take on the "typical politician" angle: he's oblivious of the fact that for this to work Brin and Page would have to be just as vain and corrupt as his ilk.
      • Well, at least he's manning up and selling his own children...

    • That is a win for my state! Not only did we have both John Edwards and Jessie Helms, we have this moron. At least we have UNC basketball and many of the ACC teams.
    • If I were his kids I'd pray to every god that he calls me Sergey or Larry rather than Bonner Gaylord Jr.
    • by BitZtream (692029)

      As a resident of Raleigh, I'm all for it. No one gets the name they 'want' you just get some name. How names are picked is arbitrary, the kids could get something retarded anyway, or its actually even entirely possible the guy already decided on these names anyway and this is just a nice publicity stunt.

      Either way, if you think the names are going to define the kids destiny you are seriously disconnected from any sort of reality I'm involved in. Its simply not really that big of a deal and no one will kn

    • How will him advancing his career not help his kids? What planet do you live on where the parental income does not affect what advantages a kid is offered in life?

    • by Cramer (69040)

      It's a fairly weak bluff. Google will not be wasting their efforts on Raleigh. There's thousands of miles of fibre around here already. It costs too much to use it -- that is, they will charge too much for you to want to use it. For example, a T1 pretty much anywhere in the county can be had for $300/month. But ethernet (i.e. a fibre drop) is $800/month -- and may take 2 months to install -- even when the node is in your parking lot.

      (Plus, they'd be picking a fight with about 9 other telcos. I have 5$

    • by blitzcat (69699)

      He was an asshole when he was my HS classmate. So he's already delivering more of the same.

    • by shnull (1359843)
      i wonder just how many of these kids will have their revenge 20 years from now, after the population has aged and it's those kids that have to take care. Think they will have forgotten all this nonsense ?
  • Guh.....what? I'm dumbfounded by this.
  • by GNUALMAFUERTE (697061) <.moc.liamg. .ta. .etreufamla.> on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:53AM (#31657224)

    Maybe he's internet-starved. You would sell your mother and all your future generations for some sweet bandwidth ;)

    • by Higaran (835598)
      If your going to sell your future generations for bandwith, I gurantee your soo much of a nerd your never going to have any.
      • Re: (Score:1, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward

        And I can guarantee you are not so much of a geek because your spelling is that of a salesman.

    • by skine (1524819)

      So you're saying that this is just Rumpelstiltskin?

    • by cffrost (885375)
      It's funny because it's true.
  • by cerberusss (660701) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:55AM (#31657262) Homepage Journal

    city councilman Bonner Gaylord has offered to name his unborn children Sergey and Larry, after the founders of Google

    I'll do better than that. If Google builds a high-speed fiber-optic network to my apartment block, I will create an army of clones, each platoon named after either Sergey or Larry.

  • I feel a little bad about myself right now...this person's name makes me giggle. (Also, is this a little too close to April 1st to be true?)
  • by GNUALMAFUERTE (697061) <.moc.liamg. .ta. .etreufamla.> on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:56AM (#31657288)

    FTFA:

    RALEIGH, N.C. — Raleigh City Councilman Bonner Gaylord

    Ok, please sit down and think about it. This guy's name is BONNER GAYLORD.

    He's just trying to get back at his parents, by giving his kids horrible names. Bonner Gaylord. //Goes to check The Onion, to make sure the story wasn't pulled from there

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:56AM (#31657290)

    If your father were named "Boner Gaylord" you would want someone outside the gene pool to name you too. Might as well be Google.

  • This story is 3 days early.
  • by Culture20 (968837) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:58AM (#31657326)
    But in return, you must give me your first born child.
  • by macbeth66 (204889) on Monday March 29, 2010 @10:58AM (#31657328)

    If it were my company, and this guy proposed such a thing, the LAST thing I would do is consider his city. I would want to be at least several states away.

    Someone get the butterfly net...

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by BitZtream (692029)

      Too bad they have a data center a few hundred miles away. Raleigh and Google have a rather good relationship, Raleigh has given Google massive tax breaks to get them to move into Lenor. Being that those tax breaks come out of my wallet, the least they can do is put some fiber in my neighborhood for me.

      Sadly, I live in Cary, which is one of raleighs outlaying cities ... we probably won't get hooked up and will get left being raped by Time Warner when they raise the price to compensate.

  • Sergey and Larry are perfectly normal names. Google is the most ethical multi-national ever. If I cared about namesakes, I'd consider Sergey or Larry for free. I'd avoid John and Maynard [wikipedia.org] regardless.

    That said, I hope google sends him a very nice letter respectfully thanking him for the deep complement, but explaining that they'll choose the cities based upon other various factors, like their potential influence upon other cities.

    • by Improv (2467)

      Please don't tell me you're one of those Libertarian/Randian types who inserts into every conversation a sly mention of discredited economist Hayek.

      • by Weezul (52464)

        No, I just picked the most well known economist that has contributed to our current economic problems.

        If I was being serious, I'd have looked up the asshole economist who initially put forward the theory that a corporation's sole duty is to it's stock holders.

    • >>>explaining that they'll choose the cities based upon other various factors

      In Houston they bribed Compaq by giving them a Houston address. It didn't matter that Compaq was nowhere near Houston (about 10 miles outside city limits). Must feel good to be a politician with so much power (libido dominandi).

      Back to topic:
      - I remember accessing the internet with only 1 k (1200 bps modem)
      - Today I access the web with either 50k or 750k, depending upon my location.
      - Do we really, honestly need 100,000k

      • by G00F (241765)

        What we need is to break the market up, Most people have Cable or DSL, and even in those markets where you have both, they both suck.

        In my area, Salt lake City, UT. We have a wireless company that I am seriously considering(and I hate wireless!) and there where once employing fiber through utopia, but that was destroyed by cable/telco (that had many mom/pop DSL providers behind it) But they both are still bound by Qwest for backbone, not as bad because of different last mile, but there needs to be some ser

      • "Accessing the web" is not the only thing these lines are used for. I parse that phrase as "surf websites," and while I could very easily make an argument explaining that flash and embedded media make many websites one may want to visit VERY much larger than they were when you were accessing at a thousand bits per second, it is easier simply to say that the biggest demand for additional bandwidth is for the many other functions of those same pipes that benefit from more throughput, such as large file downlo

      • by geekoid (135745)

        I would have done the same thing if it meant brings jobs to the community.

        "- I remember accessing the internet with only 1 k (1200 bps modem)"
        And I remember 300 baud and needing to get permission from the university. Big deal.

        "- Today I access the web with either 50k or 750k, depending upon my location."
        So?

        "- Do we really, honestly need 100,000k lines this desperately? That sounds more like a "luxury" than a "need" and this politician being on his knees to please Google seems pretty pathetic."

        All communicat

    • I'd avoid John and Maynard [wikipedia.org] regardless.

      Fuck that. Maynard is an awesome [wikipedia.org] name.

    • by Wyatt Earp (1029)

      Google is the most ethical multi-national ever?

      From TFW on MNCs - "They have pointed out that multinationals create false needs in consumers and have had a long history of interference in the policies of sovereign nation states. Evidence supporting this belief includes invasive advertising (such as billboards, television ads, adware, spam, telemarketing, child-targeted advertising, guerilla marketing), massive corporate campaign contributions in democratic elections..."

      Google advertises, invades privacy don

  • by Improv (2467)

    And then, 30 years later, his children would both end up working at google and we will have come full circle.

  • The stunts being done by these cities and their officials border on begging. I mean, sure it'd be cool to land the Google network, but c'mon man! Hold on to some dignity.

    This has been an interesting example of the mindset of the politicians as opposed to normal people, though. Some politicians are making fools of themselves to try and attract Google's gaze. Would normal people even consider doing something like this? Of course not. Why would having a mayor diving in icy waters or naming a child after the Go

    • Well, if it works for Reality TV programs, it should work for politicians....
    • by geekoid (135745)

      " Would normal people even consider doing something like this? Of course no"
      Of course they would. Do you really need a list of stupid shit normal people do in the hopes of getting money?

      The Google contest is to see who will go the farthest in impress Google.

      Here is a clue" Politicians are pretty much normal people.

      For the record, I don't think this will do it. I think it would be better to change a street name to "Google Ave" and have it cross with "Internet Highway".

  • by The Angry Mick (632931) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:13AM (#31657566) Homepage

    Ourselves or the fucking corporations? Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?

    And how much do you want to bet that along with the offer of surrendering his offspring's identity, there's an additional offer of either a hefty tax break, or even a free pass?

    • Espn Real (Score:3, Interesting)

      by tepples (727027)

      Have we sunk so low that we're offering our CHILDREN up to the gods of corporate benevolence?

      If so, it's nothing new. Case in port: Espn Real [badbreeders.net].

    • by geekoid (135745)

      Oh clam down. It's a name. Yeah, it's pretty weird, and I wouldn't do it. It's not like he is saying everyone in the town will get Google tattoos for their children,. It's not their identity.

      If it would mean enough jobs, then why not a tax break?

      It is better to have 1000 Jobs and a tax breaks to a corporation, then 0 jobs and no tax break.

    • by BitZtream (692029)

      Right, because there aren't hundreds of thousands of other Sergey and Larry boys running around the world.

      Stop being so angsty, its not you, its not your kids, its not your city, its not your name.

      You've got your panties in a bunch over something that will never effect you and will likely never even be known by the two potential children inless it comes up in a funny conversation 30 years from now.

      In short, it doesnt fucking matter if he names his kids after Google founders, their going to get names based o

      • You're right, it's not me. It is however, a reflection of our societal values.

        If we are willing to trade our children's identities for a handful of dollars or a faster internet connection (!), what's to stop us from going even further, say, handing the kids over for labor? Hell, it'll save Google loads of money, lower their tax burdens. and we could probably write the runts off. Joy and prosperity all around!

        Except for the kids that have to grow up realizing that mommy and daddy cared more about money

  • Touching (Score:4, Funny)

    by tarscher (1000260) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:23AM (#31657708) Homepage
    Touching what men wants to do to download porn at high speed.
  • I propose we attempt to embarrass this man to the fullest extent... by naming his child... Bonner Gaylord. Surely a funnier name has yet to be found.
  • This isn't the classic example of a bribe, but technically he is offering something arguably of value to the founders of Google in return for them causing Google to give him something that he wants. I assume the names Sergey and Larry are more valuable to Google's founders than Google itself, and he isn't offering to name his children Google, Adwords, or some other Google trademark.

  • An article where a dude named Bonner Gaylord will name his children after the Google founders is just an excuse for an April first warm-up. Some people just can't wait to get started with the pranks.
  • by homey of my owney (975234) on Monday March 29, 2010 @11:56AM (#31658220)
    Many years ago, the town of Radium Hot Springs, New Mexico, offered to change their name to "Truth or Consequences" to win a prize from the TV show of the same name. They thought it would bring in business, and notoriety. It's still a pretty quiet town, though it does have an amusing name... especially when the abbreviation (T or C) is pronounced as a word.
  • Every other day there is a story describing how yet another b/w starved city/town is 'begging' google in an innovative way. Is begging the defining characteristic of our generation? Maybe, if someone can highlight a story wherein a town/city highlights how they can stand up on their feet with the extra b/w (not a bplan!), instead of a crazy marketing gimmick, google might actually initiate some action and live upto their motto of 'do no evil'. (Note that it doesn't necessarily mean 'do good')
  • If you look on the bright side, it prevents the kid from being called Bonner Junior (B.J. Gaylord).
  • Was I the only one who read "child naming rights" and then skimmed straight to "Sergey And Larry", thinking that he was in fact going to name his next kid "Sergey And Larry Gaylord"?

    What a prize. Anyway, I imagine the next article is going to read something like this:

    "Raleigh Councilman's Child Production Rights Revoked By Upset Wife"

  • I think this guy's counting on "don't be evil." Anyway, Sergey and Larry aren't bad names. I think he might withdraw the offer if Google counters with a demand for "Google" and "Froogle."
  • I can't help but to think of the book Jennifer Governement by Max Berry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Government).

    Dystopian sci-fi should remain well... fiction.
  • ...for something we should already have.
  • I'd build the damn thing in Raleigh if he didn't name his children after me
  • I'd have taken my wife's last name. Hard to be worse that Gaylord...
  • Well, it got the guy a mention on /. What more could anyone want?? Next, he'll want to change his name to Frist Psot
  • As if we needed any proof that politicians are willing to barter their family to advance their careers.
  • ...is for Google to tell Mr. Boner Gaylord to go bone his gay lord.

    Seriously, even though his children will be teased anyway even offering this is wrong. Period.

  • Stop worshipping the rich. It will solve all of your problems.

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