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BSA Says Software Theft Exceeded $51B In 2009 350

Posted by kdawson
from the slinging-numbers dept.
alphadogg sends a NetworkWorld.com piece going over the Business Software Alliance's latest stats on software theft around the world. "Expanding PC sales in emerging markets is increasing the rate of software piracy, according to the Business Software Alliance and IDC. The rate of global software piracy in 2009 was 43%, meaning that for every $100 worth of legitimate software sold in 2009, an additional $75 worth of unlicensed software also made its way into the market. This is a 2-percentage-point increase from 2008. Software theft exceeded $51 billion in commercial value in 2009, according to the BSA. IDC says lowering software piracy by just 10 percentage points during the next four years would create nearly 500,000 new jobs and pump $140 billion into 'ailing economies.' ... In the United States, software piracy remained at 20%, the lowest level of software theft of any nation in the world. ... The PC markets in Brazil, India, and China accounted for 86% of the growth in PC shipments worldwide." The BSA president said, "Few if any industries could withstand the theft of $51 billion worth of their products." It's unclear whether that was a brag about the industry's robustness, or a result of the industry's low cost of goods sold.
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BSA Says Software Theft Exceeded $51B In 2009

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  • They left out several data points they discovered that were simply too shocking to print:
    • There is a tight statistical correlation between the rate of software piracy and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
    • Cracking a single piece of software is such a complex process that it can cost up to one hundred thousand kitten souls in the process.
    • If piracy dropped 20% in one year, the resulting productivity would yield one observable unified field theory for all of modern physics.
    • If piracy dropped 30% in one year, Jesus and Muhammad would come back to life and smoke a peace pipe thus ending pain and suffering all over the world. Just 30% for that!
    • The Center for Astrological Thought concluded that extraterrestrial life forms avoid our planet simply on the grounds that they cannot sell and enforce their software licenses here.
    • Software piracy creates an unknown yet to be found negative force that exists in the dimension in which we can travel through time. Every time a piece of software is pirated, seventeen thousand Negatosmas are released into this dimension prohibiting time travelers from the future of ever traveling back before that point.
    • Said Negatosmas have also created a food source for the Time Devil which caused him to mutate into the Super Time Devil which now makes time travel a cat and mouse game flirting with disaster ... but also a very popular reality TV show in the future.
    • In 2009, Michael Jackson's last words were "End software piracy" as the stolen copy of Windows XP that regulated his IV's drip failed because he had just passed the 30 days he had to authorize his copy.
    • Because of software piracy, Pluto was delisted as a planet. The government stepped in at the last minute to save this victim.

    Clearly we can only take such outlandish claims with the utmost sincerity. So what's up, software pirates? Why are you holding us back? The burden of proof is on you to disprove any of the aforementioned claims. Until you do they are all true because the BSA said so.

  • Or maybe... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Dunega (901960) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:52PM (#32173710)

    The BSA president said, "Few if any industries could withstand the theft of $51 billion worth of their products." It's unclear whether that was a brag about the industry's robustness, or a result of the industry's low cost of goods sold.

    ...that your datapoints are wrong.

  • by AmonTheMetalhead (1277044) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:53PM (#32173736)
    And don't forget all those communists running linux! The bastards!
  • by swordgeek (112599) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:55PM (#32173770) Journal

    "If piracy dropped 30% in one year, Jesus and Muhammad would come back to life and smoke a peace pipe thus ending pain and suffering all over the world."

    And of course, this would be OK because cancer is caused by software piracy. Of course, those pesky pirates keep promoting the lie that it has to do with smoking.

  • by Hadlock (143607) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @03:57PM (#32173802) Homepage Journal

    This just in: BSA hasn't done anything profitable for the software industry in the last year, and it's time to make up numbers and release reports to justify their 6-figure salaries to their masters

  • by Enderandrew (866215) <enderandrew.gmail@com> on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:00PM (#32173878) Homepage Journal

    That's like 50 licenses for Adobe Creative Suite 5!

  • by Rogerborg (306625) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:03PM (#32173922) Homepage
    You know that oil well that just blew out? Well, nobody is saying that BP are using pirated software, and nobody is saying that they ain't, but has anyone seen the original box and proof of purchase? Have you?
  • by natehoy (1608657) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:08PM (#32173984) Journal

    Wow, where'd you hook up with the discount? Are you sure it's legit? That seems cheap.

  • by interkin3tic (1469267) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:16PM (#32174100)

    They left out several data points they discovered that were simply too shocking to print:

    Well, they're just being modest. After all, they are one of those few industries that "could withstand the theft of $51 billion worth of their products" (where theft here is defined as people not giving them money they feel entitled to.) If you were one of these "super industries" you'd probably see that there's no reason to overkill a point.

    Not to brag, but I am in fact one of the few people who can survive having aproximately one trillion dollars stolen from me. Tragic, I know, but I have not been given a trillion dollars despite being better looking, better in bed, smarter, better looking, and better at heating up a hot pocket than most CEOs out there.

  • by turgid (580780) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:16PM (#32174102) Journal

    You'll just have to use cracked pirate versions or that smelly, dirty, un-American long-haired-hippy Free Software.

  • Re:Bullshit (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:29PM (#32174282)

    Of course it's bullshit!!

    BSA means Bull Shit Alliance!!

  • by Anon-Admin (443764) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:31PM (#32174334) Journal

    Microsoft tech support is simple, I have had to deal with them a few times and it goes like this

    MS: Hello, this is Rajie how may I help you

    Me: This copy of windows blue screens when I plug in the mouse

    MS: Have you tried removing the mouse drivers and reinstalling?

    Me: Yes

    MS/ME: 30 min of removing and reinstalling the mouse drivers several times to make sure It is done right.

    MS: You need to reinstall the system then call me back

    Me: Ok, Ill do that.

    Me: Hang up, reinstall the system no 3rd party drivers, base config, Microsoft mouse still blue screens

    Call them back and I am told

    MS: Sense reinstalling the OS did not fix the problem you should reinstall the OS.

    Me: What? I did that and it did not help

    MS: Yes sir, this is a hard drive problem and you need to reinstall the OS.

    Me: This is a mouse problem not a Hard drive problem!

    MS: No sir, this is a hard drive problem. From now on you need to handle this through e-mail. The allotted phone time is used up for this contract. Thank you

    Me: F- this, Wipe system and install Linux, problem solved.

  • by natehoy (1608657) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:40PM (#32174492) Journal

    I dream of a day when piracy is gone. When software vendors, content publishers, authors, etc are free to lock their product down to the point where it cannot be used. I dream this dream, you see, because once we rid our society of time wasting movies and television, brain-rotting terrible music, and fucked-up insecure software, we as a species might actually be able to do something useful with our existences.

    So, please, BSA, MPAA, RIAA, etc. Bring it on. Make your product so locked down no one wants it. Protect your intellectual property to the point where it has no value. Die, so concepts and ideas can flow freely again.

    F/OSS will move on, creating product that benefits its users rather than its shareholders, unencumbered with having to fight off patent assholes every 5 minutes who contribute nothing and demand everything. Musicians will still play music. Artists will still create art for its own sake. And the rest of humanity might awaken from our slumber and decide to spend more of our time on useful pursuits.

    If we spent 1/10 the effort on science and real life that we spend as a society debating who should have won American Idol, I'd have my goddamned flying car by now. And it would run on a free renewable energy source whose exhaust fumes would be oxygen and fresh-baked muffins.

    Please, for the love of (insert_deity_here), RIAA, MPAA, BSA! We're counting on you! Redouble your efforts to make your entire industries irrelevant! Get out of the way so we can evolve as a species!

    THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

  • by u17 (1730558) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @04:58PM (#32174766)
    I say great that people saved $51B thanks to unauthorised copies. Imagine what they can spend it on instead!
  • by Shakrai (717556) * on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:02PM (#32174830) Journal

    Ah, yes, I left a zero off that number. My bad. I shall now precede to bang my head against the keyboard until bloody.

  • by Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:08PM (#32174928)
    Hey! I resemble that comment.
  • by sheph (955019) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:24PM (#32175166)
    Have you ever called MS support for anything? They're the reason I started learning about computers in the first place. I couldn't rely on them to fix my problem.
  • by Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:42PM (#32175398)

    If piracy dropped 30% in one year, Jesus and Muhammad would come back to life and smoke a peace pipe thus ending pain and suffering all over the world. Just 30% for that!

    And if it dropped 40% they would smoke each other's pipes, thus ending the entire gay marriage debate.

  • by roc97007 (608802) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:42PM (#32175410) Journal

    "The BSA president said, "Few if any industries could withstand the theft of $51 billion worth of their products." It's unclear whether that was a brag about the industry's robustness, or a result of the industry's low cost of goods sold."

    Or, it could be an open admission that they're making it all up.

  • by TooMuchToDo (882796) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:52PM (#32175524)

    Ah, yes, I left a zero off that number. My bad. I shall now precede to bang my head against the keyboard until bloody.

    Don't bother; we can outsource that to India cheaper as well.

  • by aztracker1 (702135) on Tuesday May 11, 2010 @05:55PM (#32175562) Homepage
    Yeah.. we should switch to internet searches backed by a SQL database... stop using Google and their BigTable, and Map/Reduce crap... give me an ACID RDBMS that's robust... After all, one hammer should be enough for all nails (and screws, and bolts).

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