Australian Police Ask Facebook For Police Alarm Button 237
littlekorea writes "The Australian Federal Police (AFP) has requested social networking site Facebook install a law enforcement representative in Australia and introduce some sort of button in which users can immediately report online crime to the police in a single click. It is National Cyber-Security Awareness Week in Australia, so the AFP is on an all-out offensive — announcing it is also investigating whether Google committed offences under Australia's Telecommunications Interception Act when it harvested Wi-Fi data." Something like this has been in the works for a while.
I AM NOT A KOOK! (Score:2, Funny)
I'll see if I can come up with a Rossetta Stone that will enable one to translate between all four schools during my Psychology Dissertation. I'll start applying to some of the top schools after I ask the taxpayers of San Jose, California to spring for the taxi fare so a couple of San Jose's Finest can give me a lift to the Napa State psychiatric hospital in California's Napa Valley.
Crawfordian Psychoanalysis is derived from the following books as well as my life experience over the last twenty-six years spent treating the Schizophrenia of homeless people as well as counseling those with Bipolar Affective Disorder; it's more commonly known as Manic Depression as well as Bipolar Depression. I have been saving the lives of the suicidally despondent since I was just a toddler in the late 1960s.
During my year of volunteer work for the Suicide Prevention Service of Santa Cruz County back when I was an undergraduate Physics student starting in the Fall of 1987, it happened all the time that a man would ring me up from a payphone with a loaded gun in his hand, or that a woman would ring me up from her bedroom with a bottle of sleeping pills and every intention to use them. I never once so much as contemplated sending for the police, the ambulance or the coroner.
All I ever required was an hour of Active Listening, in which the counselor listens carefully to what the client is saying, then responds in such a way as to make the client feel that the counselor really heard what they were saying. That's It.
If I ever so much as opened my mouth about the gentleman who managed to track down my home number from the SPSSC answering service then asked for me by name so I could convince him to stop hanging around a payphone with his loaded pistol to his temple, he would lose his Top Secret security clearance. I'll have to leave the reason as an exercise for my Gentle Reader.
Far, far more important has been my work treating the mental illnesses of Psychotherapists, Psychiatrists as well as the Psychiatric Nurses and Social Workers who staff Psychiatric Inpatient Hospitals since my first inpatient psychiatric admission. In November 1984 during the first term of my junior year of my studies at the California Institute of Technology when I I abruptly and for no aparent reason switched my major from Physics to Literature right in the middle of the Fall Quarter.
The only other person I have ever met who regarded that decision as anything but delusional or manic was Caltech Theoretical Physics Professor Richard Feynman. Feynman's deep insight into numerical analysis led him to enable the Trinity Test - a Plutonium Implosion Bomb - to knock a man flat at ten miles. The Uranium Assembly Bombed totally vaporized Hiroshima on the first try. The Plutonium Implosion Bomb dropped on Nagasaki did much the same thing.
How did Dick Feynman work such a miracle? Just by having a bunch of smart guys hang out in a big room for a year or two with tables of logarithms and mechanical adding machines. That's It.
Now you know why I flip out so much about the North Korean, Iraqi and Iranian nuclear weapons programs. Don't even get me started about the Israeli Bomb. Just Don't. The mere contemplation of the fact that Israel is well-known to possess at least three hundred nuclear weapons as well as dozens of Medium Range Ballistic Missiles that can hit anywhere in Iran completely fills me with a desperate urge to paint the entire wall to my left with my own brains.
Just wait until I explain why five minutes spent sketching on the back of an envelope would give you a deep insight into the Hydrogen Bomb. That's why the Cold War was so totally batshit paranoid. In 1953 a phenomenon known as Radiative Transfer lit the Hydrogen Bomb's fuse by enabling a two-stage Plutonium Implosion Bomb to set fire to a chunk of styrofoam in the shape of a large pill capsule. That
By any chance do they specify the button details? (Score:3, Funny)
"The Australian Federal Police (AFP) has requested social networking site Facebook install a law enforcement representative in Australia and introduce some sort of button in which users can immediately report online crime
Would they be specifying that it take on the form of an amber lamp? Would seem logical given the rest of Australia's wtf'ery.
Re:I AM NOT A KOOK! (Score:5, Funny)
I AM NOT A KOOK!
Of course not. Why would anyone think you were a kook for posting over 4,400 words about some completely sane subject matter on Slashdot? I can't wait for the sequel: "More Shit No-one Cares About" and the eventual prequel: "Hey, Guess What I'm Thinking Right Now?"
If this was Facebook I'd be clicking that big red Australian 'Report An Online Crime' button right now to report you stealing minutes of my life.
Re:A One Click Solution? (Score:5, Funny)
Does Amazon know about his?
It only violates Amazon's patent if you order an online crime with one click, not report one.
Re:Why not use your own panic button? (Score:1, Funny)
4.
Re:False alarm (Score:4, Funny)
Hmm... What happens if you accidentally click the button?
Then you're committing an online crime and reporting yourself, so I wouldn't recommend it ;-)
One click? (Score:5, Funny)
Doesn't Jeff Bezos have a patent on that?
Grab your proxies boys (Score:5, Funny)
What the hell, Australia? What the hell? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I AM NOT A KOOK! (Score:2, Funny)
I think your IP should be banned.
So....slashdot should have a police button?
Re:If only... (Score:2, Funny)
Become a fan of Slashdot on Facebook [facebook.com]!
Re:One click? (Score:5, Funny)
I was thinking, in case a criminal had you at gunpoint and you couldn't click on something without the bad guy noticing, that they could implement a single nod system for reporting crimes.
Re:australia? (Score:5, Funny)
They got 'a guy' into parliament? 'A' guy? One? Let me tell you about the USA...
Re:Pushes Big Red Shiny Button (Score:5, Funny)
Police: Do you have pictures of yourself on Facebook?
Me: Yes
Police: Are you a female?
Me: Yes
Police: Do you have small boobs?
Me: Err, umm, yes.
Police: We will be right there, thanks for turning yourself in.
For those that think I'm trolling: http://www.google.com/search?rls=en&q=australia+small+breast+law [google.com]
Not sure what is going on down under these days.
Re:Don't you already have one? (Score:3, Funny)
911? THREE buttons?
What is this? 1950's technology?