Smart Underwear Designed For Military 169
A team of scientists at the University of California San Diego, led by nano-engineering professor Joseph Wang, has designed some high-tech underwear that may save lives. Sensors in the waistband can monitor a person's blood pressure, heart rate, and other vital signs. The designers also hope that one day the underwear can release drugs to relieve pain and treat wounds. From the article: "But the technology's range of application goes beyond the military. 'We envision all the trend of personalized medicine for remote monitoring of the elderly at home, monitoring a wide range of biomedical markers, like cardiac markers, alerting for any potential stroke, diabetic changes, and other changes related to other biomedical scenario,' said Wang. Wearable biosensors can also provide valuable information to athletes or even measure blood alcohol levels."
Joke (Score:5, Funny)
Bonus side effects (Score:5, Funny)
Once Smart Underwear catches on in the public, it'll become just a regular technology, like a cell phone.
Now guys, how many times have you seen girls check out another girl's phone when she buys a new one? How many times have you been able to go, "Hey, can I see your phone?" and they'll whip it out and show it to you.
One day, it'll be as easy as "Hey, can I see your Smart Underwear?" and she'll be like "Can I see yours too?".
Trust me, this is going to be awesome.
Don't make me use my digital pants! (Score:5, Funny)
Gives new meaning to the phrase... (Score:5, Funny)
...I'm here for the debriefing sir.
Unfortunately (Score:5, Funny)
These are completely useless for commandos.
Lindsay? (Score:4, Funny)
or even measure blood alcohol levels
While one might immediately see value in a product like this for Lindsay Lohan, keep in mind she rarely wears underpants.
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Joke (Score:5, Funny)
"Printed on the waistband and in constant contact with the skin is an electronic biosensor, designed to measure blood pressure, heart rate and other vital signs."
Translation: When blood flow to your Wang increases they will know. If you are in a room full of guys, they don't have to ask and you don't have to tell.
Interesting Distinction (Score:5, Funny)
Huh Huh, His name is Wang... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Great... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Great... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Unfortunately (Score:5, Funny)
... or Scottish Highlanders.
Re:Great... (Score:3, Funny)
But as under-underwear gets smarter, we have the same issue and we'll need under-underwear!
I think the solution here is obvious, guys. How do you keep different layers separate in a way that preserves privacy and access privileges?
middlewear.
Re:Bonus side effects (Score:3, Funny)
When you're taking a girl home and she asks, "You do have protection, right?", you can respond truthfully that "Yes, I have a firewall in my pants."
That was awful.
Step 2 finally revealed! (Score:4, Funny)
2. Upgrade them with high-tech devices and sell them to the military at 10x their original cost
3. Profit!!!
Wang has been working on this for years (Score:5, Funny)
He shared his strategic plan with me years ago; it sounds like he has filled in a crucial missing step:
1. Collect underwear
2. ???
3. Profit!
Re:Joke (Score:3, Funny)
Kinda makes the new tech a moot point, eh?