Tearing Apart a Hard-Sell Anti-Virus Ad 192
climenole writes "I came across an email sent by a security vendor, reminding me, no urging me with the liver-transplant sort of urgency, to renew my subscription to their product, lest my pixels perish. I spent a minute or two staring at the email, thinking about all the poor souls out there who do not have the comfort of being a geek and who may actually take the advertisement seriously." That led to this insightful deconstruction of these over-the-top ads, the kind that make it hard to keep straight the malware makers and the anti-malware makers.
More obligatory (Score:1, Funny)
Will it blend?
What a waste (Score:2, Funny)
The one time I actually decide to RTFA, and it's this? What a waste. It probably would have been more amusing if he'd dissected some of the spam e-mails waiting in his inbox.
Buy a new and modish watch today, and become recognizable tomorrow. If you are looking for fancy and cheap jewelry, you just found it.
a click away
That's just a sample of the excitement waiting in mine!
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Danger! Bad Times Virus!!! (Score:4, Funny)
If you receive an e-mail with a subject of Badtimes, delete it immediately WITHOUT READING IT. This is the most DANGEROUS e-mail virus ever.
It will rewrite your hard drive and scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your freezer's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your VCR, and use subspace field harmonics to render any CDs you try to play unreadable.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend/ex-husband/wife your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when company comes over. It will put a kitten in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will tease your dog. It will leave strange messages on your boss's voicemail in your voice. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub and leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your snowblower.
These are just a few of the signs. Be very, very afraid!
Re:Obligatory. (Score:3, Funny)
OK, it's bad enough when people write or say virii, but vira? Really?
Re:Advertisers are deceptive assholes, film at 11 (Score:3, Funny)
Their letters come with prepaid reply envelopes. I always take some time to inform them of the other great opportunities I receive along in the mail.
Re:It's not "insightful" (Score:1, Funny)
The worst part was where he incorrectly calls McAfee a security vendor.
Re:So you know they're there (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Danger! Bad Times Virus!!! (Score:3, Funny)
What? Badtimes is my Ex??