Building the Zero-Fatality Car 509
CWmike writes "In the future, new cars might include an appealing sticker: 'This car is rated for zero fatalities.' John Brandon reports that Volvo, for instance, has launched a program called Vision 2020, which states, 'By 2020, nobody shall be seriously injured or killed in a new Volvo.' It includes not just new protective measures in the car, but technology for communicating dangers to and from the car. Other car companies have similar, less formalized programs. As ambitious as it seems, Ed Kim, an analyst at automotive research firm AutoPacific, says the zero-fatality goal is achievable. In the next 10 years, there will be a confluence of safety technologies — such as road-sign recognition, pedestrian detection and autonomous car controls — that lead to safer cars, says Kim. Will your next car look something like this?"
What? (Score:5, Funny)
I need a car metaphor.
I thought they already solved this problem (Score:4, Funny)
Go go gadget Car-From-Demolition Man!
prior art (Score:5, Funny)
They can use some of the same technology as was utilized on this motorcycle:
http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=21816 [biertijd.com]
NOTICE! (Score:5, Funny)
WARNING: You are exceeding the speed-limit by 5 mph, we will alert the authorities...
WARNING: Your car is overdue for it's monthly maintenance check and will not start after august 1.
WARNING: You took that corner too fast for current conditions, we have alerted the authorities.
WARNING: Your car has exceeded it's 5 year life span and has been terminated. Please contact your dealer for a great deal on a new one.
Re:NOTICE! (Score:3, Funny)
WARNING: O RELY? A11 y0ur bas3s ar3 b3l0nging to us n0w.
[Car smashes into concrete wall at 170MPH...]
Re:There is no zero (Score:5, Funny)
Untrue.
How many times have you had sex with a living female human being this week?
Thought so.
Re:NOTICE! (Score:3, Funny)
WARNING: You are a paranoid idiot who is trying to cover up his fear of change by attempts at being witty,
NO U!
Re:In a Volvo? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What? (Score:5, Funny)
I need a car metaphor.
So, basically, imagine lots and lots of corporations as cars on a busy Interstate. On one hand, we have SCO which was a tanker truck filled with benzene and toxic sludge going to the nearest creak to offload, but before it got there, it had a catastrophic wreck and burned for a while. As a matter of fact, the sludge was so nasty that it has been burning for several years, and fire crews have not been able to extinguish it.
As for the zero-fatality car, let me put it this way. Since the Interstate (the world-wide work force) is still blocked with toxic sludge and fire (the recession and its causes), nothing is getting done, and Volvo isn't selling as well as it did. In order to appease shareholders temporarily and raise Volvo's stock for the next week or two, Volvo has decided to build a vehicle that not only can withstand any wreck, but since it is zero-fatality, you just can drive right through that fire and toxic sludge and be on your merry way to economic recovery.
Re:Auto-car. (Score:3, Funny)
Snowflake won't have enough leg room in anything less!
Solution Calculated (Score:5, Funny)
Car: Your ex-husband has a gun. He seems agitated. ...Solution calculated. Please exit the vehicle.
Car: His blood pressure is rising, and his pupils are dilated.
Car: Considering prime directive of zero fatalities in a new Volvo...
Car:
Re:NOTICE! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Not good enough (Score:4, Funny)
Re:There is no zero (Score:3, Funny)
0.75
and it was expensive
Re:In a Volvo? (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe they plan to use ejector seats. If the car senses a dangerous situation, you are promply ejected from it to protect the reputation of Volvo.
Re:There is no zero (Score:5, Funny)
Untrue.
How many times have you had sex with a living female human being this week?
Thought so.
I find it curious that you felt it necessary to qualify that in three separate ways: "living", "female", and "human".
Re:Auto-car. (Score:3, Funny)
Also, I don't follow soccer, but I think you may have a confused understanding of the game. I seem to recall that there are only twenty-two players on a soccer field, not 300.
He was assuming some place other than the USA, where the would actually be spectators around the field, as well as the players on it :P
Re:There is no zero (Score:3, Funny)
>>>0.75
So you started at 11:45 pm last week and finished at 12:45 am this week (hence 0.75 times this week). That's pretty typical for a college Saturday night/early Sunday morning. But usually it's free of charge.
easy answers (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not good enough (Score:5, Funny)
A world in which only the idiots die...The idea has promise.
Re:What? (Score:5, Funny)
Will you settle for a ship metaphor?
This is like rating a passenger vessel as "unsinkable".
Re:Auto-car. (Score:3, Funny)
They're called taxis. You get in and use voice commands to tell it where to go. Or, hop on a bus and take a pre-determined route.
Re:There is no zero (Score:3, Funny)
the death-and-serious-injury rate amoungst Volvo owners, multiplied by the number of Volvo owners, multiplied by some arbitrarily large time period, is small but finite
And if that finite number is less than a recall, they won't do it.
The surefire solution. (Score:2, Funny)