Google Apps Gets Two-Factor Security 118
judgecorp writes "Passwords alone are not enough to secure access. Many organisations require two-factor authentication with a token. Google just added free two-factor verification to Google Apps, sending a one-off token to the user's mobile phone. It's good to have this for free, and it backs up Google's assertion that cloud apps are more secure — but it doesn't answer how it helps if an intruder is getting into Apps through a lost or stolen phone."
It's Obvious (Score:3, Funny)
Learn to keep track of your damn phone...
Fuck Everything, We're Doing 3 Factor (Score:1, Funny)
Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of security in this country. The password needing numbers was the password to own. Then the other guy came out with a need for numbers. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the case sensitive and symbols. That's needing to remember your capitals and lowercases. For complexity. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to 2 factor. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling case sensitive in our passwords. Capitals or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to 3 factor.
Sure, we could go to 2 factors next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, one worked out pretty well, and two is the next number after one. So let's play it safe. Let's add on symbols and call it the strong passwords. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the security game. Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Google is the best a man can get.
What part of this don't you understand? If one factor is good, and two factors are better, obviously three factors would make us the best fucking password that ever existed. Comprende? We didn't claw our way to the top of the security game by clinging to the one factor industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, three factors is the biggest chance of all.
Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in my pocket: I want to log into shit with it. They don't tell me what to invent—I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more factors in there. I don't care how. Make the factors so varied they're everywhere. Put some in their iPad. I don't care if they have to cram the third factor in sequence to the other two, just do it!
You're taking the "protected" part of "password protected" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it. Let's roll. This is our chance to make security history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that three factors can happen, and it will happen. If you aren't on board, then fuck you. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the three factor security becomes the security tool for the U.S. of "this is how we secure now" A.
People said we couldn't go to case sensitive. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "three factor's crazy?" Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Microsoft, working on fucking administrator permission. Confirm permission, my white ass!
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Apple's wake and make phones. Ha! Not on your fucking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like Apple is the day I leave the security game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!
The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. It's as easy as, "Hey, security with anything less than three factors is like twittering your passwords to the world." Or "You'll be so secure, you won't even need condoms anymore." Try "Your encryption's gonna be so complex, Turing's going to come back to make an encryption algorithm with the key YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME."
I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?! Grow the fuck up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top. Which Google is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, three factors, sweet Jesus in heaven.
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another password on that fucker, too. That's right