Mystery Missile Launched Near LA

J. L. Tympanum writes "CBS News is reporting the launch of an unidentified missile off the coast of California. No one wants to take credit for it." The article has visuals taken from a CBS affiliate's helicopter, and a Navy spokesman said it wasn't theirs.

Obvious Explanation

[eldavojohn]

A Google van was dispatched to get street view data of the Moon.

*ominous voice* Phase II has started ahead of schedule ... but it's still in Beta.

YEEEEEHAAAAW

[Pojut]

Slim Pickens was seen straddling the missle, waving his hat, and proclaiming "YEEEEEEHAWWWWW".

The War Room could not be reached for comment, as there was a fight going on at the time.

Drug Cartels

[jimbobborg]

Will do anything to cross the border. I wonder how much pot was in that thing?

Did someone say Missile?

[Monkeedude1212]

No one wants to take credit for it? Okay.

I'll take credit for it. If found please return it. Thanks.

QE3

[NapalmV]

They're testing the "dollar cluster bomb" for the Quantitative Easing 3 phase. Bernanke reckoned that helicopters were not good enough.

Re:Did someone say Missile?

[camperdave]

I was going to take credit for it, however, after a moment's thought I realized that taking credit for firing a missile inside US coastal waters without proper approvals could land me in all sorts of hot water with the wrong sorts of government agencies. I'm glad you're willing to take that heat.

Sounds like...

[the_one_wesp]

Lt. Chillders had his woman down there, demonstrating how to "launch a missle," and somehow, through some "unknown act" the big red button got pushed.

Re:Did someone say Missile?

[Monkeedude1212]

I'm glad you're willing to take that heat.

Of course, I'm Canadian! I'll take any heat I can get!

Re:Hmmm ....

[swanzilla]

The end of the article says that some Ex Ambassador says that it MIGHT be a demonstration to China that US Subs can launch intercontinental missiles - since Obama is touring over there right now.

Indonesia, China. Same thing.

Mythbusters

[Tr3vin]

Missile firing off the coast of California? Gotta be the Mythbusters. This week's myth was that you could easily build and fire a missile near the US without being caught. Myth confirmed!

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Engage!

[digitaldc]

"It could be a test-firing of an intercontinental ballistic missile from a submarine to demonstrate, mainly to Asia, that we can do that," speculated Ellsworth.

Just because, you know, we outsourced all our missile manufacturing to China and we just weren't that sure it would work.

Missile of the coast of California?

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the whole silicon valley decided to offshore itself?

Not my secret base

[phantomfive]

GUYS, I want you to KNOW, it is NOT the location of my secret evil lair. Or ANyone else's. THere IS noevil Lair. really. Don't come searching. Please. The squid are causing enough problems. I mean. Ignore that.

Re:Mythbusters

[bmo]

If it was Mythbusters, it was not a rocket, but another water heater.

--
BMO

Re:Hmmm ....

[AnonymousClown]

3) New Navy seamen ordered to get the Captain his mid-day meal and presses the "Lunch" button.

Re:It was mine

[bmo]

>Laster beam

Well, I've got a firster beam, but it keeps getting modded down.

--
BMO

Re:It's not a mystery, people are just dumb

[ColdWetDog]

Wrong date. November 9 is today, not last night.

Hah. You think last night was interesting.

Just you wait...

Re:Hmmm ....

[loafula]

'Cept if it was a demonstration to China, why do it 35 mi off the coast of LA? It seems unlikely to be seen from China there.

Re:Hmmm ....

[Wonko the Sane]

maybe somebody spilled coffee on a sub's weapons control console.

SLBM launches don't work like that.

It would make just as much sense for you to spill coffee on your keyboard and accidentally install Windows Vista.

Nuclear Launch Detected!

[Crasoose]

You have 10 seconds to find the little red dot.

Re:Did someone say Missile?

[UnknowingFool]

I confess! It was me. Off the coast of California. With a missile launcher.

Re:YEEEEEHAAAAW

[Volante3192]

They don't like it when non-military personel (like Steve Buscemi) ride weapons though.

Re:Hmmm ....

[martas]

I've done that. Why else would I have Vista on my machine?

Re:YEEEEEHAAAAW

[Anonymous Coward]

Slim Pickens rode a bomb not a missile.

This message brought to you by the literal net.

OK, so Gottfried was seen climbing into the missile, doing something Rule-34ish, and proclaiming "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(This message brought to you by the literary net!)

Re:Not my secret base

[Monkeedude1212]

I'm onto you, hiding secret messages in your post. Look at the Capital Letters, seems too odd . Rearranging the letters I get this:

  I KNOW THIS NOTION GUYS DIAL TIP

Tip, which is of course is 847 on the phone, which is of course the area code for Illinois!

LOOK OUT! THERE'S A MISSILE HEADING FOR ILLINOIS!

Re:Could that explain this?

[Volante3192]

Cruise ship flare sizes are getting out of hand...

Re:Obvious Explanation

[Idbar]

In an unrelated note, the other night I logged in to WOPR.gov and started playing this GTW game! I made my first move, and I'm waiting for my opponent.

OMG!

[denzacar]

And you... kept it on?

You, you... PERVERT!

Re:YEEEEEHAAAAW

[mangu]

Slim Pickens rode a bomb not a missile.

Yes, but the missile made an awesome WOOOSH sound.

Re:OMG!

[martas]

I'm German, you insensitive clod! Perversion is our way of life.

Just trollin'. I'm not German, nor do I have any negative opinions about the Superior Race. Oops, Freudian slip!

Re:Hmmm ....

[mangu]

it MIGHT be a demonstration to China that US Subs can launch intercontinental missiles

Considering that the US first launched an ICBM from a sub in 1960 [wikipedia.org], this demonstration seems a bit late by now.

What next, will the US demonstrate that cars can be made with tail fins? [wikimedia.org]

Re:YEEEEEHAAAAW

[_Sprocket_]

Well, of course not. The last thing the US needs is a weapons riding gap.

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Blame Mythbusters

[rweaving]

The Mythbusters are just trying to disprove the myth of the DIY ICBM.

Re:Drug Cartels

[JustOK]

Cheech and Chong in SPAAAAAAACE!, man. Hal's not here.

Re:One BILLION dollars

[interval1066]

No, he ran out of money after laying out 1 MILLION DOLLARS for his laser shark program, which in his day was a tidy sum. He then had to be rushed to the hospital following a heart attack upon getting mortgage papers explaining he owed well over $750 Million in back mortgage payments for his island lair. His balloon payments were calculated to be only $100K/month in the 60's.

I said LUNCH not LAUNCH!

[DRAGONWEEZEL]

:)

Re:Hmmm ....

[n9hmg]

'Test' firing and attempting to keep a secret immediately off the coast of LA don't jive

You're right. They boogie. The difference is subtle. Very acute observation.

Re:YEEEEEHAAAAW

[Anonymous Coward]

The War Room could not be reached for comment, as there was a fight going on at the time.

But...they can't fight in there, it's the War Room!

Re:It's not a mystery, people are just dumb

[gstoddart]

"It was Nov 9 GMT." ...is that really what you're going with?

Er, how about swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and refracted the light from Venus?

Re:Mythbusters

[Ellis D. Tripp]

Packed with Mentos, Diet Coke, salami, and thermite?

Swamp Gas

[Baldrson]

MSNBC reports that [msn.com] "Pentagon says it's baffled, but scientists suggest it's just a jetliner with spectacular contrail".

Who are these so-called "scientists"?

As any reputable scientist can see it is obviously swamp gas.

Re:It's not a mystery, people are just dumb

[Thud457]

Don't try to confusle me with your high-falutin' words, it's pelicans, all the way up, same as in town.

Re:It's not a mystery, people are just dumb

[ChaoticPup]

So a warning that covers a timeframe *today* somehow explains a missile launched *yesterday*? Ummm... try again.

The US Navy test range for sud-launched ICBMs is off the coast of San Diego, well south of the point of this launch. Been there, have the t-shirt.

Re:Drug Cartels

[ByOhTek]

Are you nuts, that's too expensive for the test flight. It's just a family of six for the first go-round.

Re:Obvious Explanation

[Anonymous Coward]

But at least they are a lot more polite than the Spanish inquisition...

I Know The Real Reason

[The Wild Norseman]

It was actually a successful launch of the first intercontinental stealth missile put out by Obsidian/Bethesda. Now all they have to do is sit back and let the modding community come up with the working stealth portion of the missile. China, however, will probably wait for the Intercontinental Stealth Missile: Missile of the Year to come out first.

Re:Obvious Explanation

[interkin3tic]

Feh, good luck on finding them. We only have like 2 million of them.

Re:Hmmm ....

[Wonko the Sane]

Were you aboard the Hartford during the grounding incident in Sardinia?

Yes

What was that like?

Bumpy

Re:Obvious Explanation

[PopeRatzo]

It is clearly a rather large rocket, clearly on a trajectory headed for at least space, perhaps orbit.

Wrong. It was Meg Whitman's head exploding when she realized she spent $150million and all she got was a lousy t-shirt.

Re:Obvious Explanation

[Iron Condor]

Actual explanation of the event:

And what, exactly, makes you call this an "actual" explanation, given that it's composed of just as much thin air as all the other ones?

The video clearly shows a very bright spot at the top of the exhaust trail. Jet engines don't burn bright. They don't burn at all. They're dark. Unless this particular jet was on fire in a rather surprisingly controlled way.

Of course it is possible that sunlight just so happenes to glint off the underside of a plane that just so happenes to be polished the right way and that just so happenes to be oriented such that the "glint" remains "glinting" for many (15?) seconds at a time. Just as it's possible that the contrail of that same jet just so happens to resemble a rocket launch. Lots of things are possible.

But while it's possible that a jet plane might appear like a Polaris rocket, it is of course certain that a Polaris rocket appears like a Polaris rocket.

Quack, quack...

Re:I can just imagine his commanding officer.

[Minwee]

"It's my first day!"