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A "Throne" Fit For a Tech King 111

Posted by samzenpus
from the stay-a-while dept.
WrongSizeGlass writes "PCWorld has an article on Kohler's new hi-tech toilet. The Numi comes complete with a detachable touch screen remote; motion-activated lid and seat; integrated air dryer; a heated seat; feet warmers; ambient lighting; built-in speakers with FM radio and an MP3 player input jack. If you have $6,300 to flush down the drain on a toilet this is for you."

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A "Throne" Fit For a Tech King

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  • by Geoffrey.landis (926948) on Monday April 18, 2011 @09:55AM (#35854992) Homepage

    Not up to the standards of an average high-tech toilet in Japan, but it's nice to see the US at least stepping up to toilet tech.

  • Notch? (Score:4, Insightful)

    Does the seat have a notch in the front? No? Back to the drawing board then.

    • by PopeRatzo (965947) *

      Don't need no notch. It's motion sensors raise the seat for you.

      And by the way, the water is not only cold, but it's deep, too.

      • by SeNtM (965176)
        The water is warmed in my model...those deep dunks get quite annoying.
  • Eww, I'm not touching that!

  • Can you watch Netflix on it?
  • Does it remind anyone of the integrated toilet seat tv of Idiocracy ?
    • Well apparently you're not the only one, but it doesn't look anything like a recliner or have a TV in front of it, so, no.

      • by uncanny (954868)
        Give it time, that movie was based 500 years in the future, but we are steadfast on the way to reaching that goal early... VICTORY?
  • by roman_mir (125474) on Monday April 18, 2011 @10:16AM (#35855174) Homepage Journal

    If it does not have its own "I" "P" address, I am not interested.

  • by LordNacho (1909280) on Monday April 18, 2011 @10:19AM (#35855196)

    A couple of questions.

    1) Do these high-tech toilets mean you don't need any more toilet paper? Someone told me they spray a beam of water up where it's needed. Which I assume means it needs some kind of image recognition...
    2) If an AI is sufficiently advanced as to be distinguished from a human, does it have a right to not stare at people's goatses?

    • If you click on the "NUMI" link in the article it takes you to where you can view the gallery. One of the screenshots displays the menu on the remote and two of the options show a graphic with text that read "Front" and "Rear", indicating the placement of the water stream.
      • by PCM2 (4486)

        OK, I didn't look at the gallery, but I did look at the images on the homepage. Do they seriously expect people to buy these things, then install them in a corner of the living room, with no door, surrounded by huge bay windows with sweeping views of Los Angeles and no curtains??

    • Even better than the gallery is the video. It shows how you can not only activate the bidet, but you can control the position, flow type (pulse, wave or oscillating), water temperature and dryer. You can even set presets for specific people in your house so all you have to do is choose which person you are and it takes it from there.

      Now, if they could find a way to integrate all this into my recliner then I'm all over it.

    • I read that the Toto version of the water closet/bidet combo used over 400 hundred employees for the preset locations. I wonder how they did that - ask for volunteers, have HR post a company wide memo, just grab the first 400 people through the door?
    • by vivin (671928)

      If an AI is sufficiently advanced as to be distinguished from a human, does it have a right to not stare at people's goatses?

      Can you imagine being the QA for that AI? Or even the developer tasked with developing that AI?

      "What do you do all day?"
      "Oh, I find pictures of people taking shits and feed it to my AI".
      "..."

  • by BigDumbAnimal (532071) on Monday April 18, 2011 @10:19AM (#35855200)

    Does it keep logs?

  • The guy who made this thing said the luxury toilet market is "coming back to the u.s."... was it ever here, or is this just his desperate attempt of getting everyone on his bandwagon? His toilet has a touch screen, FM radio, speakers, aux in jack, heated footrest/seat and ambient lighting (your bathroom doesn't have enough lights already?). Isn't that a far cry from what's already available? His toilet costs about $6300. Other toilets [youtube.com] (skip to 1:30) have similar features and cost 12-15 times less [rakuten.com]. He's
    • by Lumpy (12016)

      And is overall stupid.

      mp3 player jack... what nimrod designed this? Bluetooth A2DP!

      Finally what idiot would buy it, if you can afford a $6300 crapper, then you would already have whole house audio with an audio zone in the bathroom that has far better speakers than this toilet can.

      heated footrest.. wtf? again you would already have a heated floor.

      This thing is a non starter, anyone that can afford it already has better than what it can deliver already in their current bathroom.

  • I didn't read TFA, but does this thing clean itself? I've seen many self cleaning toilet seats in public restrooms in Europe. You would think for $6300 you shouldn't have to clean a toilet ever again.

    • by Scyber (539694)
      I doubt the people that pay $6300 for a toilet actually clean their own toilets.
      • by Belial6 (794905)
        When put in that context, a $6300 toilet could be a money saver. How much does it cost to keep staffing for toilet cleaning 24/7. Even at $5 an hour, it would pay for itself in less than 2 months. After that, it is reducing labor cost at thousands a month. How can we afford NOT to buy one of these!
  • If you are spending enough time sitting on the toilet to justify things like heated seats and feet warmers, radio and mp3 player jack, and a $6300 price tag then you might want to rethink your diet.
    • Agreed. I don't sit on the toilet any longer than I have to, which works out to be a minute or two.

    • This is just something else for an executive to put on his megayacht. It's like selling stuff to ricers. You've already sold them underbody lights, chrome door edging and stick-on fake hood vents, so now you have to invent something new to sell them - like stick-on canards or a rear bumper with fake venturi tunnels.

    • by Combatso (1793216)
      humans gotta do a few import thanks.. sleep, eat and shit... A decent kitchen, complete with dining area can be in excess of $20,000, a good bed, complete with all the linens will cost you over a grand.. if I had the money kickin' around, I would love to shit in R2D2..
  • Because with all the time people will now be spending in the loo, hemorrhoids are sure to ensue.
  • by Grokko (193875) on Monday April 18, 2011 @10:33AM (#35855328)

    I used to laugh about the toilets that wash and dry you. I don't any longer. I went to do some work for a few weeks in Seoul, South Korea. Both the hotel and the place I worked had them. I tried them out, and found out what I had been missing all these years. The basic ones have these functions:

    - Warm toilet seats - this really helps to get things moving in the morning
    - Washing, front and back - say goodbye to skid marks.
    - Drying

    Anyway, I told my wife over Skype how wonderful they were, and she laughed at me. Then she came to visit me in Korea, tried them, and suddenly, it was a must have appliance for when I get back. Since the power in Korea is different from North America (220V with different type of plug), and the instructions were in Korea, I ended up ordering one that had the basics, as well as a remote control. It took me about 1.5 hours to install, but about an hour of that was poring over the entire manual to make sure I understood how to do it. The actual install took about 30 minutes.

    We both enjoy using it, and we hardly ever use toilet paper anymore. Some people might be put off by drying time vs. wiping, but as I like to tell people: "What's your hurry? Bring a book."

    Here is the really funny thing. My wife has gone viral with this info. She told her pottery group, the girls at the dentist, and countless others abut this. I have female relatives and friends visiting more now, some almost embarrassingly come over to "try out the toilet". Almost all of them are in the process of buying or attempting to convince their significant others to purchase one. I'm now the accidental "Toilet Tech", as I answer questions about purchasing and installation for them.

    After they use it, I've received all kinds of comments like: "If I met a guy with one of these, I'd never leave", and many more in the same vein, I got to thinking that the average guy would do well to have one of these when they finally bring home the woman of their dreams. All things being equal, for some gals, the bathroom will be a deal breaker on whether they will spend the night. It just might be worth investing $400-$1000 on a Vorpal Toilet Seat.

    • by Lumpy (12016)

      Thats just the bidet effect. Honestly once you have used one you will look at the toilet paper world as completely barbaric.

    • by mangu (126918)

      I ended up ordering one that had the basics, as well as a remote control

      If you need remote control in a toilet you are doing something wrong.

      • by Grokko (193875)

        I ended up ordering one that had the basics, as well as a remote control

        If you need remote control in a toilet you are doing something wrong.

        The remote is more convenient than the standard controls, which are located on the side of the seat, for a couple of reasons:

        1. In order to use the side controls, you need to twist your body to look at it. The side controls show LEDs, which are actually kinda hard to see in bright bathroom light.
        2. We men think we are just so accurate when we pee, up until the point you clean the toilet on a regular basis. Then you think things like "How did that get up there?". So if you like sticking your hand in yours or

    • by Belial6 (794905)
      OK, so the part that I have always wondered about is how well they clean. I get that it shoots a stream of water, but shit can have a lot of consistencies. Sometimes that consistency is such that I have a hard time believing a simple stream of water would get it all off. Just how vigorously do these things clean? I would be concerned that it would not only not get me clean, but just spread the feces across the surface of my ass.
  • by MORB (793798)

    Does it says "your business is appreciated" in a robotic voice once you're done?

    • No, but it says, "To help increase our quality and customer satisfaction, your 'call to the throne' will be monitored . . ."

      Creepy high-tech voyeur toilet makers, indeed . . .

  • by bendytendril (1281160) on Monday April 18, 2011 @10:38AM (#35855380)
    They model this thing in a glass house as though that's where you'd take a dump - right next to the window.

    People in glass houses shouldn't show thrones.
  • The real question is, when will it have video conferencing/voip (no more will you have to get up and answer the phone when you're on the throne) and be able to run Tmost current multiplayer games (for people who are just too hardcore for loo breaks)

  • The Neorest 600 has been out for years with the same features and is over $2,000 cheaper.

    OK, it doesn't have the MP3 player, but I think you'll still have change left after you buy one.

    That's just the only one I know of, I'm sure there's other advanced toilets available.

  • It is not clear from the link if it is going to have a warm water bidet. No dear, Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi, adding a T junction at the gate vale and hand shower is definitely not acceptable. Seats with integrated bidet costs only 700$. But it too does not implement the warm water delivery correctly. If some one makes an electric heater with a thermostat, with the temp sensor in the outlet, and the nozzles pointed down till out put water reaches the correct temp in the integrated bidet-seat, there is a k
  • Regardless of what throne you sit upon, sanitary alignment within the restroom is extremely important. For example, the trash can should be located within close proximity to the door. That way, you can wash your hands and use the paper towel to open the door prior to throwing the towel in the trash.

    Yes, call me strange and unusual. But this is my "holy crusade". Public restrooms (in fact all restrooms) should have sanitary alignment.

    • It's a good idea, if only because otherwise people will just drop the paper towels on the floor.

      But I just don't worry about it. The world is an absolutely filthy place, and as it happens we're up to the task of dealing with it without needing hand sanitizers and constant hand-washing. I know there's probably fecal coliforms on my toothbrush, but they're pretty much everywhere anyway. Same with every other kind of bacteria and virus. But I don't carefully wash my hands after gingerly touching the remote, ev

      • After working in a call center for four years, my immune system is pumped up. The first year was hell, but after that I haven't been sick yet. Not being assigned to your own cubicle (pick any terminal available when starting shift) will do that.

        However, you can't really build an immune system against fecal matter. I mean, I suppose you could. But 9 out of 10 times it will leave you puking your guts out. People really need to wash the shit (literally) of their hands. Dump them in caustic acid if you must. Bu

        • by PCM2 (4486)

          It's not necessarily "fecal matter," as such, that's the problem. For countless viruses and bacterial infections, the fecal-oral route is the main vector of transmission. You shed pathogens through your digestive tract, and that's what's in your feces. It's not the digested food-sludge that makes you ill, it's the microbes from your body that come with it. So yes, everybody, wash your hands. You don't need Purel; soap is fine. If you don't have soap, water and vigorous rubbing is better than nothing. Rememb

      • by cusco (717999)
        AMEN!

        My wife works at a large retailer and is around thousands of people all day, touching everything in the store. The kid may be too sick to go to school, but that doesn't mean that mommy won't take them to the store all morning. You may be too sick to work, but you'll still go to her store to load up on cough syrup and comfort food. I'm at customer sites all day, including several large critical care hospitals. We're not careful about hand washing and she gets sick about once every other year, I'v
    • by PCM2 (4486)

      For example, the trash can should be located within close proximity to the door. That way, you can wash your hands and use the paper towel to open the door prior to throwing the towel in the trash.

      Unless you're talking about proximity to the stall door (and most stalls don't have sinks in them, so I assume you're not), you might want to rethink that. In cities with significant immigrant populations, this can be a problem. The reason is that a lot of immigrants from developing countries aren't accustomed to sewer systems that can accommodate paper of any kind. Thus, they wipe, then throw the paper in the trash. I've seen many restaurant restrooms with signs begging people not to do this, but it still

  • Or at least taking the piss!

    I guess it's a neat idea if you're feeling flush.

    But I still think it's a bit potty.

  • Bud, sit down. Let me tell you the story of the Ferguson. Now these babies were made in Maine, you know, at the little Ferguson factory. It's the Stradivarius of toilets. And my Dad could play it like a violin.

    Yup, I'll never forget the time my dad took me to Maine to visit the factory. I had to go to the bathroom. And I begged him to pull into a truck stop. He said no, wait until we get there! It'll be worth it! It was!

  • ... it's not made by Apple, or it wouldn't support Flush.
  • No bluetooth or voice activated commands? How is this better than peeing on a tree?

  • I wonder if they were security conscious when they developed the remote? ... a brave new world of hacking into your neighborhood toilets, adjusting the temperatures, playing sounds, flushing, raising the seat, perhaps on some models even activating the bidet....
  • that is the question
  • with FM radio and an MP3 player input jack

    Fail!

    Seriously, it's about $5 worth of electronics for a USB port that accepts a flash stick. Get it right folks.

  • A motion-sensing lid, huh? And I think it's hard to keep my two-year old from playing with the toilet *now*

  • List of requirements for true geek's king throne:

    0) Must be in a room full of monsters.

    1) When looting while confused, must exchange gold for randomly generated throne room monster.

    2) When sitting, should respond with "You feel very comfortable here" or should do one of the following:

    ________a) Grant a wish or increase your luck.

    ________b) Allow you to genocide something.

    ________c) Identify things in you are carrying.

    ________d) Make you feel much better by healing you completely, curing you from sick

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