To Google Friends Or Not To Google, That Is the Question 117
Hugh Pickens writes writes "Henry Alford writes that in an ideal world, we would all use Google to be better friends by having better recall and to research our new friends and acquaintances to get to know them better. 'It's perfectly natural and almost always appropriate,' says social anthropologist Kate Fox. 'Obviously, one is always going to have to be discreet when talking about what you've found. But our brains haven't changed since the Stone Age, and humans are designed to live in small groups in which everyone knows one another. Googling is an attempt to recreate a primeval, preindustrial pattern of interaction.' But the devil is in the details. If we tell a new friend that we've read her LinkedIn entry or her wedding announcement, it probably won't be perceived as trespassing, as long we bear no ulterior motives. If we happen to reveal that we've also read her long-ago abandoned blog about her cat, we're more likely to be seen as chronically bored than menacing. 'I'm so baffled by this idea that we're not supposed to Google people,' says Dean Olsher. 'Why would there be a line? Like everyone else is allowed to know something but I'm not?' But doesn't taking the google shortcut to a primeval, preindustrial pattern of recognition sometimes rob encounters of their inherent mystery or even get us in trouble? Tina Jordan, an executive in book publishing who has the same name as a former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, says, 'I typically tell any blind dates before I meet them that they probably shouldn't Google my name, otherwise they'll be sorely disappointed when they meet me.'"
So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Insightful)
You're seriously asking if one should dig up shit about one's friends or not, as if that was a valid question?
Are you insane?
No really: Are. You. Insane?
Friends are people that you *trust. Do yo know what trust is?
Trust is when you don't know, and rely on somebody anyway.
If you can't rely on your friends... then sorry... but they are not friends.
And to be frank: The one thing missing from today's society... is that we aren't friends anymore.
Because some clinically insane psychopaths... care only about money... above all else...
and we are stupid enough to hold that up high, as if it were an ideal.
Return to pre-20th century accountability (Score:5, Insightful)
As I wrote two years ago here, 20th century anonymity was an anomaly [slashdot.org].
The return to societal accountability will be a good thing, in my opinion, but the panopticon that prevents business and political trade secrets and that immortalizes peeping-tom photos will be bad things.
Google Doom (Score:2, Insightful)
"I typically tell any blind dates before I meet them that they probably shouldn't Google my name, otherwise they'll be sorely disappointed when they meet me."
I have mastered the Art of Disappointment; I don't need Google for that.
But on a related note, a malicious person spent a fair amount of effort salting Google against me, anonymously. Fortunately, my name is uncommon enough that a renowned, blameless, Indian cook probably bears the brunt of the pain. (My professional name retains untouched.)
Getting it wrong... (Score:5, Insightful)
I don't know about you, but this strikes me as odd:
"Henry Alford writes that in an ideal world, we would all use Google to be better friends [....] to get to know them better."
Why would I use a computer to get to know a friend better? Wouldn't it make much more sense to actually *talk* to them, let them (and their friends) tell you stories about their past, including the embarrassing ones their friends and acquaintances will dig up for them (whether they like it or not :)). What's wrong with going to a bar together, go to their birthday party or join them for a weekend break? Isn't that what friends are for?
If you put it out there (Score:5, Insightful)
Dream on (Score:4, Insightful)
Not one of the people I know have a "presence online" - Google may know about them because they use Android, but they have no profiles on plus, facebook, myspace or anywhere else, they do not post updates about themselves constantly and if i google their names i get someone else with that name.
And only small fry will be held "accountable" the big ones will continue to get away, as they always have.
God dammit (Score:2, Insightful)
What the fuck is wrong with people these days? If you want to get to know somebody better, TALK TO THEM. Why is it that the internet has made people forget how to socialize properly?
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:4, Insightful)
The term "friends" lost all its weight since the advent of Social media. I resist this trend, that basically imposes the fact that any whoever who adds you to their account (or you add to yours) is a "friend". I call bullshit.
Re:Return to pre-20th century accountability (Score:2, Insightful)
Everybody makes mistakes, people's memory gets fuzzier and dimmer over time. Life moves on. Now, a mistake you make when you are 14 can haunt you for the rest of your life. How is this better?
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Insightful)
Basically this is why I cancelled my Facebook account. I keep in regular touch with my actual friends regardless, and all the noise from those relatively meaningless acquaintances is cut out. This is what was once known as "normal life." (For the acquaintances with whom I do want to maintain a contact channel for whatever reason, I have a LinkedIn account, which I basically only look at once a month, if that.)
As for Googling people, all I can say is some people have too much time on their hands. I'm either working, playing, or spending time with my family. I don't have the time to play cyber detective, and even if I did, I couldn't really give two shits about digging up dirt on people.
Re:Return to pre-20th century accountability (Score:5, Insightful)
Your take on anonymity in that old post remains just plain silly.
No. Just...no.
Even in the late 19th century and certainly for all of history preceding that time, anyone who wanted anonymity could simply walk away. I've often thought that if I had been born in 1830 or so on the east coast of the U.S., before I reached my 20s I would have started walking west. I might have died in the first week. I might have achieved great things. I'll never know.
I do know, however, that anonymity was easily achieved in those days. Walk 10 miles, make up a new name for yourself, forget your past, and keep walking. Lather, rinse, repeat as often as your own personal demons or desires drove you to do so. Anonymity just came with the territory.
What we are facing in the near future is historically unique - a true, inescapable loss of anonymity made possible by a panopticon that never forgets, that is even learning to recognize our faces. That, imo, is a truly scary prospect.
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:If you put it out there (Score:5, Insightful)
You shouldn't be surprised when people view it.
Most of what's out there isn't by the person's choice -- crappy privacy controls, people reposting, revenge photos, and leaked e-mail signatures... most of what google picks up about the average person was put there by a corporation that is trying to monetize that private data by making it public.
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Insightful)
You forgot "every three months when Facebook decides to change their default privacy policy and app policy."
That might be my problem, though. All my actual friends barely use Facebook (if they even have an account) which gave me a pretty low S/N... Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.