USAF Strips 17 Officers of Nuclear Launch Authority 173
Freshly Exhumed writes "In an unprecedented action, a United States Air Force commander has stripped 17 of his officers of their authority to control and launch nuclear missiles. After a string of failings that the group's deputy commander said stemmed from 'rot' within the ranks, the suspensions followed a March inspection of the 91st Missile Wing at Minot Air Force Base, North Dakota, that resulted in a 'D' grade for the team tested on its mastery of the Minuteman III missile launch operations system. The 17 are being assigned to intensive retraining courses of 60 to 90 days, according to Lt. Col. John Dorrian, an Air Force spokesman."
Take them out of the loop (Score:3, Funny)
and replace them all with electronics.
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps we could build a huge supercomputer called "Colossus" to take control. I hear Dr. Forbin is a sharp guy, he could be project lead...
What could possibly go wrong? (Score:5, Funny)
Isn't '60-90 days of retraining' about the same as what you get for failing a class in high school and getting forced to take summer classes if you want to graduate?
Re:Not a new problem (Score:5, Funny)
I think these are the same units who allowed a nuclear bomb to be shipped accidentally from ND to ??Mississippi?? a few years ago.
I, for one, shudder to think of Mississippi as a nuclear power...
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:2, Funny)
“We've had men in those silos since before any of you guys were watching ‘Howdy Doody!’ Now I myself sleep pretty well knowing those boys are down there ... Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new [automated electronic] defense system sucks.” - Gen. Beringer.
Re: Take them out of the loop (Score:5, Funny)
Don't let it play Global thermonuclerar war for a decade though. It won't learn shit. Give it two minutes of tic-tac-toe, number of players zero, and it throws in the towel on the art of war completely. I know there is some kind of plot hole in here...
Meanwhile, they have been offered new jobs . . . (Score:4, Funny)
. . . in scenic North Korea. Wacky delusional dictator Kim Jong Un has promised them an exciting life in his missile silos, highlighted by Shirts & Skins hoops with Dennis Rodman.
. . . on Roller Skates . . . !
Re:Not a new problem (Score:5, Funny)
Kate Pierson and Fred Schneider were fairly pissed about that, too.
Re:Meanwhile, they have been offered new jobs . . (Score:5, Funny)
...and you get to be trained in Photoshop too.
No Problem (Score:1, Funny)
Just increase the number of H-1B visas so we can get qualified people from India into those jobs.
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:5, Funny)
and replace them all with electronics.
Cyberdyne Systems Command and Control System Model Skynet 1.0.0 approves of this message.
Re:The military takes this stuff really seriously (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Always the same (Score:5, Funny)
The USAF is, as you say, the gold standard. Civilian nuclear power is considerably less motivated and less well funded, with less oversight.
You're right. I'm all for removing nuclear launch authority from the operators of civilian nuclear power plants.
Re:Not a new problem (Score:5, Funny)
Your hurtful stereotypes wound me deeply. As a smirking east coast liberal elitist, I am only able to wear my Birkenstocks a few months out of the year, lest the cruel winter winds chill my delicate toes. Also, please keep in mind that (while liberals are required by union regulations to despise all practical knowledge except evilutionism), our culture has long prided itself on spending as many years as possible at expensive private universities and liberal arts colleges accruing detailed knowledge of the useless arts and humanities and indulging in depraved promiscuity. We work very hard to know as much as possible without crossing the lines into being capable of actual productivity.
As for Mississippi, it isn't the 'southern' that's the problem, it's the "scraping the bottom of the barrel among US states on an alarming number of measures" that's the problem.
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Take them out of the loop (Score:4, Funny)
So it took cat posts not just up to 5, but Cat5e.