How To Talk Like a CIO

itwbennett writes "Today's CIOs speak business-buzzwords as a second language. And there's a good reason for that. There is a trend among CIOs to distance themselves from being regarded as technologists and to put themselves forward as business strategists. It boils down to one simple rule: Just as you should never be the first to mention compensation in the interview process, you should never be the first to break out the tech jargon in a business setting."

if you think my karma was bad before

[nopainogain]

Today, I went to the EMC/VMware event in Baltimore. me, twentysome 50-60 year old C-levels, no technical information that could be gleaned, but a bunch of salivating million dollar budgets. I asked the engineer-presenter about his replication's bandwidth demands, he was not prepared to answer... the C-level guys asked questions like "what color is the box it comes in?" want to sound like a CIO? forget everything you know about object oriented programming, IPv6, and OSPF and Linux,, and mimic a sales-evangelist from EMC.

Never???

[drdanny_orig]

Actually, I always try to be first to break out the jargon. I find it makes the C*O's eyes glaze over, and the meeting is cut short. That's a win for me.

Synergy

[Anonymous Coward]

It's paramount that this endeavor not fail. We need all teams to focus on the tasks at hand go create an environment conducive for business to business relationships. I spearheaded our Service Oriented cost savings initiative starting from the top down using synrgies afforded by hiring the best of the best to reduce dependence on legacy systems. Using off the shelf products is not a viable option.

Re:Easy

[Cryacin]

Bingo.

Re:Easy

[girlintraining]

Just memorise all these and mix them up as you see fit:

I tried that, but apparently they're better at it than I am... my proposal got rejected for not supporting the datamatrix foo buffer 2.0 cloud feature-rich zero-management extranet interface. The work order was to get a replacement power cord... the cleaning people let a vaccum cleaner chew on the last one...

Brutally Honest

[DaMattster]

Just sound like the world's biggest douche bag and say, "Cloud ... blah blah .... Cloud"

Re:Easy

[ColdWetDog]

You didn't capitalize it correctly. That's the kiss of death.

CIO Monthly

[VortexCortex]

was that just another pop-psych regurgitation of 'Primate Power: use these hackneyed verbal tricks to pretend that you are the monkey with the biggest cock in the room!' as seen far too often in the various 'self-help for the painfully mediocre' columns that run in various media?

Hmm, not working for you? Try one of the other columns:

Ten hot buttons to drive your CEO wild.
Managing the Managers Managers for Fun and Profit.
Is your CTO spying on you? Find out using this one weird trick.
Not getting any at home? "Borrow" it from the supply closet.
How To: Turn Heads in your next Teleconference.
Lie with Numbers without getting caught: It's not you, it's them!
Lingo Bingo: Generate More Buzz with less Words.

Re:First post

[Anonymous Coward]

The thought may have been there, but you didn't quite rise up to the occasion.

Re:Easy

[Anonymous Coward]

So to paraphrase your comments: They are just enabling the linguistic paradigm with respect to the synergies of their core target market?

You forgot the obligatory closing line...

[Cid Highwind]

"The network is down, ETA?

Sent from my iPad"