Wired Writer Imagines Google Island 150
theodp writes "The last thing Wired's Mat Honan remembered before awaking on the self-driving boat that dropped him on the island was sitting through a four-hour Google I/O keynote in Moscone Center and hearing Google CEO Larry Page promote a vision of a utopia where society could be free to innovate and experiment, unencumbered by government regulations or social norms. 'Welcome to Google Island,' a naked-save-for-a-pair-of-eyeglasses Larry Page tells Honan. 'As soon as you hit Google's territorial waters, you came under our jurisdiction, our terms of service. Our laws — or lack thereof — apply here. By boarding our self-driving boat you granted us the right to all feedback you provide during your journey. This includes the chemical composition of your sweat. Remember when I said at I/O that maybe we should set aside some small part of the world where people could experiment freely and examine the effects? I wasn't speaking theoretically. This place exists. We built it.'"
And of course Apple has to have their version (Score:5, Funny)
iLand
Like the other famous G. Island (Score:4, Funny)
It was supposed to be a three hour tour, but it's been part of our lives ever since.
Re:And of course Apple has to have their version (Score:3, Funny)
... where instead of innovation, you're told how you can dress and what you are allowed to do. If you manage to make any money, Apple get's 30%. Of course, everyone dresses very nicely.
Invasion! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hervé Villechaize (Score:2, Funny)
Hervé Villechaize used to say ze Plane ze Plane.
I was thinking more of a hideously obese Marlon Brando chatting it up with Elvis over clam boats, while Google Mutants shamble around servicing them.
Powering Down Google Island (Score:5, Funny)
We have just announced on the Official Google Blog that we will soon retire Google Island (the actual date is August 18, 2013). We know Island has a devoted following who will be very sad to see it go. We're sad too.
There are two simple reasons for this: usage of Google Island has declined, and as a company we're pouring all of our energy into fewer products. We think that kind of focus will make for a better user experience.
To ensure a smooth transition, we're providing a three-month sunset period so you have sufficient time to find an alternative island. If you want to retain your Island data, you can do so through Google Takeout.
Thank you again for using Google Island.
Re:Let me be the first to say it (Score:4, Funny)
Don't worry, we promise to leave you entirely alone on your island, just you libertarians, the telephone sanitizers, the hairdressers and advertising account executives.
Googlian's Isle (Score:5, Funny)
Just scroll right down and you'll read a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started at Google IO,
and it involves a ship.
Some fool was a dreamer of sailing men,
All naked -- That's for sure!
"They'd 'innovate'; No, it won't be gay",
Said the blogger du jour -- A blogger "du jour"!
The commenters started getting rough,
The idyllic ship was tossed,
It wrought imagery of a lawless few:
Your privacy would be lost -- Yar! "privacy wood" be "lost!"
The ship made port at a private pier:
A Google-owned desert isle,
With Googliaaaaans!
The Blogger too...
Some billionaires,
(but no wives),
Home "movie" stars,
Terms of Service-er, and
Hairy Mans!
Here on Googlian's Isle!