Virtual Imaging Tech Helps People Get Over Social Anxieties

coondoggie writes "If you have ever visualized in your mind winning a race or overcoming a serious life hurdle then you understand at least some of the concept behind a new virtual video a technology that could help people with their social anxieties. Researchers say they have tested a system that lets people with all manner of social anxieties — from using public transportation and buying a drink at a bar to socializing at a party, shopping, or talking to a stranger — see themselves interacting in those situations via video capture."

Sigh.

[Anonymous Coward]

So you're anxious in social situations.

Just come to this lab, let us put you in a box, while we monitor you trying to make virtual friends (because, obviously, nobody real would want to come near you so we can't even be bothered to hire actors to help you out here). And we'll stick you through a hundred scenarios and then judge how well you acted socially with them all.

As someone who suffers with some quite extreme social anxiety, I can't think of much worse. And the best "treatment" isn't something that someone else can give you. It's just to get out there and do this thing for real, not sit in front of virtual friends.

I'm extremely socially anxious to the point where I will stay hungry rather than approach a vendor to buy food if I can't predict the conversation - a surprise "Do you want X with that?" question makes me clam up and say something I don't want, because I think people might think it more "normal" to have it, even if I don't like it, etc. I hate answering phones, even when I *KNOW* it's someone I know ringing and exactly what they are talking about. I will avoid any and all social situations as much as possible.

But the fact is that I hold down a good job in a school (children are more unpredictable, but much easier to talk to when you're perceived as an authority figure), I function in everyday life, I've been married after being with a woman for eight years, had a (normal, not socially awkward) child with her, divorced, now live with my girlfriend of four years, get on with all these peoples friends and neighbours and - until I mention it - nobody, even at work, is aware of my problem.

Hell, I'm not even a bad public speaker - because the social contact is then on MY terms. And I'm happy to walk into an argument and take sides or even cause arguments and swear and shout at strangers when its necessary.

When the social situation is out of my control or comfort zone, I'm a drip. When I'm the one who decides to take charge, I'm a loudmouth arsehole even under the threat of physical force.

But I'm only capable of living that way because I taught myself to power through it. I *KNOW* it's all nonsensical and doesn't matter in the long run. The guy on the hotdog stand might think I'm odd for ordering a hotdog that I then throw away (or spending ten minutes hovering until I can find a point I'm happy to approach him), but it doesn't matter. Who cares?

I might say something which makes no sense in the social context or have a joke die in the middle of a crowded room. I just know that I can power through it and it doesn't matter. People might think I'm an idiot for a while, and I can correct that later if necessary. If they shun me on the basis that a joke died, fuck them. That's their problem and I wouldn't want to know them. The worst thing is only unscheduled changes that I can't predict but - hey - you get through them.

Pissing about with virtual friends in a box under the scrutiny of a room of shrinks? I couldn't think of ANYTHING worse, to be honest. No, I wouldn't seek medical help for such a condition. Like a lot of similar conditions, there's just not much they can do that a half-intelligent person couldn't do for themselves. Something scares you, go do it in small bits and build up to the thing that scares you most. It won't "cure" you, but you learn how to cope with it. You know that's the answer, even when you ask your friends, family, doctor, for help. And guess what they'll do - exactly that, but not on your terms.

Incidentally, The Big Bang Theory covered this in the latest series with Raj's girlfriend (also, damn, they do their research. I am part of every one of the male characters.) She's the strongest person there. Raj's girlfriend - who has massive social anxiety - but is teaching herself to power through it, on her own, without help, standing in a comic book store full of strangers voluntarily JUST to force herself to interact because she knows she has a problem.

Don't stick people in a box with virtual friends. Show them The Big Bang Theory so they know they aren't "different" to a lot of other people, who have coped perfectly well with even worse symptoms of the same problem.