Nuclear Officers Napped With Blast Door Left Open 238
Lasrick writes "AP's Robert Burns reports that 'Air Force officers entrusted with the launch keys to long-range nuclear missiles have been caught twice this year leaving open a blast door that is intended to help prevent a terrorist or other intruder from entering their underground command post.' Why is that signifcant? At least one of the officers was napping at the time. Airforce officials said other violations like this have undoubtedly occurred and gone undetected. Yeesh. 'The blast door violations are another sign of trouble in the handling of the nation's nuclear arsenal. The AP has discovered a series of problems within the ICBM force, including a failed safety inspection, the temporary sidelining of launch officers deemed unfit for duty and the abrupt firing last week of the two-star general in charge. The problems, including low morale, underscore the challenges of keeping safe such a deadly force that is constantly on alert but is unlikely ever to be used.'"
In their defense (Score:5, Funny)
It gets hot in there, and Johnson is always farting.
Open Door Policy (Score:5, Funny)
No longer in effect.
Re:In their defense (Score:5, Funny)
"Close the blast doors! Close the blast doors!"
Boring conversation, anyways...
Re:Is anybody surprised? (Score:4, Funny)
More like
while true
do
sleep 300
if false; then
for i in $SILO; do
launch $i
done
# XXX: Add case to check blast doors
fi
done
Re:I can't decide... (Score:5, Funny)
"Except perhaps, closing the blast doors while napping."
That's what's this all about.
1. If you sleep, the door must be closed.
2. If the door is closed, nobody can catch you sleeping, even if you sleep at times when you shouldn't.
3. Ergo, always close the fucking door.
Not a problem (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Nuclear Launch Detected (Score:5, Funny)
How about a nice game of chess?
Re:Strange... (Score:4, Funny)
LOL ... sounds familiar [epicquotes.org] I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I actually know a couple of narcoleptics who can't drive any more for precisely this reason.
Re:Above pay grade (Score:4, Funny)
On Slashdot 'marrying above your pay grade' usually means getting the tricked out version of a Real Doll [realdoll.com].
Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)
How come we're not all dead? I thought (was told) there was a terrorist hiding around every corner.
That's why missile silos are round. Duh.
Re:In their defense (Score:4, Funny)
Your other choices?
Oracle?
Microsoft:
It will randomly decide to launch, the guidance system will crash, and even if it does get to it's destination there is no warhead because this was only a "premium" version of Weapons of Mass Destruction.... you have to purchase the "Ultimate" version to get the payload. Also, you might as well just go home, it's been exploited several times already and six other countries are currently fighting for control of it since the exploit patch isn't due out until the next patch Tuesday.
Gentoo:
Whenever the hell your missile finally compiles without error you have a small window of time to launch where it will get to target milliseconds faster than any other missile giving you bragging rights... Until you realize you forgot an important USE flag and have to revdep-rebuild world.
Debian:
Your ICBM may have been built some time in the cretaceous period, but damn if it doesn't just keep humming along rock solid and stable. If you are lucky newer missile tech can be back-ported. You could get gutsy and upgrade to testing to have the newest missile tech while still remaining as stable as your competitors "stable" releases, or you could go with missile "sid" but run the risk of pieces of your missile going missing on your daily upgrade.