Tesla Model S Has Bizarre 'Vampire-Like' Thirst For Electricity At Night 424
cartechboy writes "The Tesla Model S, for all its technical and design wizardry, has a dirty little secret: Its a vampire. The car has an odd and substantial appetite for kilowatt-hours even when turned off and parked. This phenomenon has been dubbed the 'vampire' draw, and Tesla promised long ago to fix this issue with a software update. Well, a few software updates have come and gone since then, and the Model S is still a vampire sucking down energy when it's shut down. While this is a concern for many Model S owners and would be owners, the larger question becomes: After nine months, and multiple software updates,why can't Tesla fix this known issue? Tesla has recognized the issue and said a fix would come, yet the latest fix is only a tiny improvement — and the problem remains unsolved. Is Tesla stumped? Can the issue be fixed?"
Vampires? (Score:5, Funny)
But on a serious note - I'm pretty sure the issue has something to do with this: http://sanctuary.wikia.com/wiki/Nikola_Tesla [wikia.com]
New name (Score:5, Funny)
Now known as Lestat model S.
Re: Ahha! (Score:1, Funny)
And the fires...
We can always pull the plug (Score:5, Funny)
They used to tell us that if technology ever got out of hand, we could always pull the plug.
Of course you are asleep when the problem occurs. If this were a low-wattage appliance you could just use one of those timers that people use for Christmas lights. You might be able to hack a heavy duty version of that by using a timer that moves a lever that knocks a bowling ball off a shelf. The bowling ball is tied to the Tesla power plug. That oughtta do 'er.
Ahh, but you say the Tesla doesn't always take the same time to charge? Easy. You just need to program it to tweet charge state to your phone. Then your phone can send something to the device that pushes the bowling ball off the shelf that pulls the plug.
Oh, but wait. Tweeting the location of your car isn't secure, and you may not have access to the car's APIs anyway. Besides, they're buggy and suspect.
So. You need to have a separate secure device in the car that monitors the charge state, and logs in to your web site with HTTPS and relays that information securely to the device that pushes the bowling ball off the shelf that pulls the plug.
There. All fixed. I just hope the ball doesn't roll off the shelf the wrong way and dent the car. To make sure that doesn't happen we need...
Re:Vampire? Huh?! (Score:5, Funny)
That's the problem. The engineers at Tesla have the really expensive multimeters.
My god it's a Stainless Steel leach (Score:5, Funny)
What does it do roam the roads by night draining the life out of Priuses ?
Google + Tesla conspiracy (Score:5, Funny)
Tesla is renting the cars out at night using Google's self driving technology and Google maps to run a secret taxi service. That guy reported 10-15 miles of charge missing overnights, that could be a few fairs used to pay for more of Tesla's research.
Re:Vampire? Huh?! (Score:5, Funny)
Nah a cheap one would work fine.
If the cheap meter explodes *while the car is off* you know you are on the right track.
Since, pre-existing conditions are covered ... (Score:3, Funny)
Simple Explanation (Score:5, Funny)
Years ago, Tesla, or Nicola Tesla as he was known, sent transmissions from the Wardenclyffe tower into the air, forever altering the electrical potential of earth's ionosphere. This potential remained as it had no path to the ground. Until, that is, cars powered by batteries with his namesake appeared. At night, this leftover induction discharges batteries of the Tesla Model S and will continue until the potential is balanced.
I too am a vampire?! (Score:5, Funny)
I used to think I'd have to drink blood or something to be a vampire, but no. I've now learned that since my stomach is full when I go to bed, and gets emptier while I sleep, leaving me hungry and in need of a little refuelling in the morning... that makes me a vampire!
Re: The only fix for vampire draw (Score:2, Funny)
simple solution: eat more garlic!
Re:Vampire? Huh?! (Score:2, Funny)
That's a feature. It did say it has an audible continuity test on the package. I'd call an arc explosion audible.
Re:The only fix for vampire draw (Score:4, Funny)
AKA Dracula, so the summary is right. He has issues with waking up during the day, and thus cannot sleep at night. Finally, the metaphor has been explained!
Re:The only fix for vampire draw (Score:5, Funny)
In America, you have a warning sticker for that.
In Europe, we have common sense for that.
Re:The only fix for vampire draw (Score:5, Funny)
In America, you have a warning sticker for that.
In Europe, we have common sense for that.
In California, you may get cancer from that.
Re:The only fix for vampire draw (Score:5, Funny)
Shit. They have the Daily Mail in California too? I thought only us Brits had to put up with it [anorak.co.uk]