Chicken Run 550
Applying modern technology to the task of corraling chickens for the slaughterhouse results in a chicken-catching machine that surprisingly is not as gruesome as it appears. Never thought about a "chicken vacuum" before? After reading this, you won't be able to get it out of your head. :) Sadly, scientists are already researching ways for the chickens to fight back.
but it's more humane! (Score:5, Insightful)
They do realize the bird's final destination, right?
Mike
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
Animals should die happy. They taste better that way.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
Makes the chickens die euphoric, for the best taste ever! Or something.
*shudders*
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
Chicken Fluffer (Score:5, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Informative)
Not the kind that you buy in the store. Laying hens are (obviously) female, but broilers (the kind you get cut up in the supermarket) are "straight run", meaning unsexed, about 50/50 sex ratio. They are killed at 8 weeks of age, before any significant hormonal effects take over.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
True story, not kidding. And the guy lives, curiously enough, in "Beaver, Utah". Gross job, man.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
What do they do, choke them to death?
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Kobe (koh-bee) (Score:3, Interesting)
Mmmmm, steak tartare. Mmmmm.
Scrape filet mignon fine, with a sharp blade, add a raw egg (you can skip this, but the scraping leaves the fat on the back of the blade, and some find the resulting meat a bit dry -- the danger of raw eggs is duly noted), some fresh ground black pepper, shallots (just a hint), and smear thickly on freshly baked Cuban b
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:2, Funny)
Sorry.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:4, Informative)
chicken cannon / dethaw (Score:5, Funny)
Anyhoo - apparently the method of the "chicken cannon" uses anything from a quail to a small turkey. They bird is stuck in a ball-like styrofoam shell, and when the entire apparatus leaves the cannon, the shell disintegrates, and the dead bird flies toward the intake of a full-power jet engine at maybe 3-500 mph.
The thing is, though - unless you have some REALLY big birds, they (dethawed) don't do any damage to the engine at all. The highspeed photograph would show in one frame the chicken flying toward the blades, and the next frame the head is chopped off, and the next part of the neck, one after the tip of the chest, etc. Apparently the blades are going so fast that the chicken's inertia alone will let it "float" while being chopped up and spit out through the back.
The humorous part is when they lent the chicken-cannon to france rail companies to test their high-speed trains. Apparently when the french set up the cannon and fired the small turkey toward the front-windshield, giddy with anticipation of everything going well, the bird went through the widshield, punched a hole in the dummy sitting in the operator's seat, went through the wall behind the dummy operator, and landed about halfway down the train car after causing quite some havoc within it. Everyone was scratching there heads with jaws to the ground (obviously you would not want to drive this thing if it will leave you a turkey-sized entry+exit-wound). Eventually it turned out that it was because they only (!) thawed the bird for 6 hours or something... When they did it with a proper bird it damaged the wind(bird)shield but the driver remained intact.
moral of the story? you can hear some interesting stuff from aerospace industry engineers.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:4, Funny)
For its suffering, it hope it will be cannonized....
(ducks to avoid flying chicken)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Interesting)
Temple Grandin did research and studies on humane cattle harvesting. As it turns out, it's not only better for the animals to die in a non stressed manner but it's better for the quality of the meat and the profits of the company.
Very interesting story.
http://www.grandin.com/
Interesting read.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:2)
Anyway, I respect PETA for advocating incrementally better treatment even if many of them would prefer that the animals not be eaten at all.
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:but it's more humane! (Score:5, Funny)
You do realize that even people on death row have to be killed humanely, right?
For the same reasons, actually. Stressing a person before killing them pumps them up full of hormones (adrenaline) that totally screws up the flavor. Also makes the meat pretty tough.
Actually, I'm surprised there are this many comments and I'm the first to make a cannibalism joke.
If they could ramp this up… (Score:5, Funny)
Somehow ... (Score:5, Funny)
Very nice, humane, but... (Score:3, Insightful)
Don't get me wrong - I support the eating of meat, for those who choose to (like me) - I just wish we could do it in more sensible, humane ways.
Re:Very nice, humane, but... (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Very nice, humane, but... (Score:2, Informative)
Sure electrocution is not the best way to do it, but I guess we just have to hope that some creative person can think of a way.
Just to point out - the electric shock does not kill them, merely hurt like hell and stun them so the corpse doesn't keep moving.
The chickens aren't really alive after beheading, when they run around, just certain bits of muscle and nervous system keep going on inertia. The chicken no longer perceives pain. The only reason not to behead without the shock is to make the execution
Re:Very nice, humane, but... (Score:2)
Crazy Killing Tools For Sale (Score:3, Informative)
Spinal Cord Remover [jarvisnz.com]
De-Horner [jarvisnz.com]
Bung Ring Expander (!!!!) [jarvisnz.com]
The Stun Box [jarvisnz.com]
Bung Droppers [technex.pl] (Removes 1200 assholes an hour, no shit.)
Head Cutter [technex.pl]
The Lung Gun [technex.pl] (i don't want to know)
"Electrical Stimulation" [technex.pl] (somehow, i think it does more than stimulate them...)
Re:Very nice, humane, but... (Score:4, Insightful)
If you were (or indeed are) in a country/state with the death penalty, would you rather be hung, gassed, put in the electric chair, or killed by lethal injection? Tip: one is far less painful than the others.
Tip: Chickens are not people. Bonus tip: Dead is dead. Even if you believe in an afterlife, are you going to sit and dwell for eternity about how that last couple seconds/minutes of your life passed?
In just the same way, there is no good reason to cause an animal more pain than necessary when slaughtering it for food.
Of course there is! Humane too often means "in a way that makes humans feel good". How about we kill them in a way that makes the animal feel better, or at least gives them a chance to live another day? I think it is far better to have the chicken killed in a survival-of-the-fittest manner. Realistically, I actually expect animals would/should be killed in a manner that makes their meat most tasty and tender.
Re:Not very humane (Score:3, Insightful)
Activists like to make you think that the act of buying one brand of chicken over another is a strike against the huge, faceless, cruel chicken industry and its sadistic practices. It's not. They won't even know it happened, because the store already bought the chicken.
Furthermore, i
McDonald's (Score:5, Funny)
McDonald's actually uses real chicken?
Sure... (Score:5, Funny)
For the McRib!
Re:McDonald's (Score:2, Troll)
Re:McDonald's (Score:5, Informative)
Nope. [dietriot.com]. (And the McFish is invariable pollock).
Re:McDonald's (Score:5, Funny)
dimethylpolysiloxane
sodium acid pyrophosphate
sodium aluminum phosphate
monocalcium phosphate
whatever those are!
in the long term..... (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:in the long term..... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:in the long term..... (Score:3, Informative)
Bawk? Are you Jhn Clux0r? (Score:5, Funny)
Looks like a cross between an EE grad student's robotics project and something out of the Transformers.
Hook up a flamethrower to it, and we've got a mobile autonomous BBQ station. Where's Mark Pauline and Survival Research Labs when we need 'em? Bring on the Chickenators!
Re:Bawk? Are you Jhn Clux0r? (Score:5, Funny)
quoteness (Score:5, Funny)
Mrs. Tweedy: It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.
Mr. Tweedy: Ooh, what kind of pies?
Mrs. Tweedy: Apple.
Mr. Tweedy: My favorite.
Mrs. Tweedy: Chicken pies, you great lummox!
Qa team? (Score:2)
"30 birds killed in 5 minutes. That's a bug. P1, too, I'd say."
The article says it's smelly work, too.
No thanks.
150 per minute? (Score:2)
Editors... :-)
Seriously (Score:4, Interesting)
But this isn't really an advance in treating chickens more humanely. The farmers profit because of 1) reduced labor costs; 2) reduced worker's comp claims; and 3) reduced "breakage" allowing them to send more chickens to market. I can see why animal rights groups would be supportive of this technology, but it's really only a change on the level of replacing the axe-man with the guillotine.
Re:Seriously (Score:2)
Re:Seriously (Score:3, Funny)
it could be dumped to section, but almost no one reads those unless you have the collapse section option turned on which makes everything front page
Re:Seriously (Score:3, Funny)
I guess we could use a "farmhands.slashdot.org"
Chicken maturity matters? (Score:3, Interesting)
Eggs are essentially the most-immature form of chickens. Pot pies, chicken franks and such are, IIRC, made from old laying hens: the most mature chickens in commercial farming. Broilers are in the middle. I suspect that you've eaten all of the above.
Is there anything about broilers (the 8-week wonders) being
Re:Chicken maturity matters? (Score:3, Funny)
Thanks for the insight, Agent Smith.
New .sig for me! (Score:3, Funny)
Horror of chickens... I like that.
-T
O/T: Duck Hearding (Score:5, Funny)
reminds me of Baraka (Score:3, Interesting)
Among other glorious and terrible images, there are shots from a chicken processing plant. It shows thousands of chicks tumbling off a conveyor belt, swirling down a giant metal funnel and having their beaks burned.
Already got that (Score:5, Funny)
My appartment is about 1800 cubic feet.
There are exactly zero chikens in my appartment.
So: chiken density = 0 / 1800 = 0 = chicken vacuum
Re:Already got that (Score:2)
Re:Already got that (Score:5, Funny)
Any bigger than that and I would have to work hard keeping the chickens out.
Re:Already got that (Score:2, Funny)
More out of work (Score:2)
So they plan on putting more people in the heartland out of much needed work...
Where will my future job prospects end... if an decent IT worker cant get a job catching chickens, then all is lost
hmmm maybe they need someone to network these together(beowulf anyone) and build AI then the robots to do the dirty work for us... then we can sit ba
Re:More out of work (Score:2)
Chicken Run (Score:3, Funny)
"chickens go in...pies come out!"
Moo... (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Moo... (Score:2)
you must work for a division of McDonalds...
as someone who has caught chickens for vaccination (Score:5, Interesting)
1. It is probably one of the worst jobs in North America. It stinks like ammonia all day in the barn, it's hot, hard to breathe, and they leave the lights off to calm the birds. (picture rolling yourself up in a thick blanket that 30 people have urinated on, and stay in their all day with the heat cranked up in the house). When you get home from work, you have to strip naked before you go in your home, and hose off in the yard, or the smell gets everywhere. (I took to burning clothes at one point outside.)
2. Unfourtunately, I can't possibly see this machine keeping up with a human. When yo get good at it, you can catch and hold 6 birds at a time. And, regardless of what the article says, it's very easy to catch a chicken in a dark barn with practice. It's just hard work.
Basically, I can't see this replacing cheap student labour. Just my two cents.
what if tolkien... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:what if tolkien... (Score:3, Insightful)
Ok, this is just a wee-bit off-topic, but...
It's already been done. Check out "Watership Down".
Permaculture Chickens and Cows (Score:5, Interesting)
In this system, chickens were kept in small flocks in 20x20 foot covered cages. The cages were on wheels. Small herds of cows were also kept, in constant rotation among many small pastures. After the cows were done in one pasture, the chicken cages were rolled in. The chickens broke the cow patties apart looking for bugs, which were plentiful. This allowed the cow manure to break down faster, resulting in quicker regrowth of the grass, as well as lower rates of disease among the cows. The chickens were healthier as well, and got to run about and hunt for bugs, which if I were a chicken, I would vastly prefer to living in some overcrowded factory. Overall, the production of both beef and chicken increased dramatically over other organic ranching methods, putting it on a par with non-organic methods.
The inventor of the system based the idea off of the fact that in nature, herds of wild ungulates are always followed by flocks of birds. Pretty clever, eh? Another thing: you don't need a robot chicken catcher, you just wheel the cage up to the slaughterhouse and pull the chickens in with a net.
Re:Permaculture Chickens and Cows (Score:2)
Re:Permaculture Chickens and Cows (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Permaculture Chickens and Cows (Score:3, Interesting)
Version for humans (Score:5, Funny)
"The scoops are on the way!" - Soylent Green.
Chicken Run! (Score:3, Funny)
Why did the chicken crossed the road? (Score:2)
ROFL (Score:2)
Early devices included the chicken vacuum, which sucked up birds and shot them through tubes to waiting trucks. But the birds tended to plug up the tubes and turn somersaults as they traveled inside the contraption. We had too many die on us, recalls Buddy Burruss, vice president of operations at Tip Top Poultry Inc. of Marietta, Ga., which tested and quickly abandoned the pneumatic approach two decades ago.
Hahahahahahah, he's right, I'm not going to be able to get the image of somersaulting chickens get
I've done it (Score:5, Informative)
Imagine a large barn with chickens covering the entire floor. As chickens are removed from the barn the remaining chickens do NOT move into the empty space, they remain packed together as the barn empties. There is no chasing involved.
The chickens do not react at all until you grab them by the legs, the most common reaction is to peck, scratch or shit on your hands. And it stank.
I do remember that I was paid well (for a 13 year old) for a few hours work and the farmers wife had a very nice breakfast ready for us when we were done.
I certanly wouldn't want to do it for a living.
Upload a video (Score:2)
forget ellen fliess, forget that porky starwars geek, this could be the newest craze!! this thing looks AWSOME!!
obligatory matrix quotes (Score:2)
Mouse: That's exactly my point. Exactly! Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like, whi
Link whoring (Score:3, Informative)
bigger picture [lewismola.com]
specifications page [lewismola.com]
my sig:
A better look at this thing... (Score:2)
ya know... (Score:2)
*shudder*
Can't resist... (Score:2, Funny)
Must...not...make..."suck"..."cock"...jokes...
Sim-City 2k3 (Score:2)
Ryan Fenton
Chicken with teeth? (Score:2)
Wait until the ST:TNG fans hear about this. (Score:2)
Picard is nothing if he isn't bald!
why do they run? (Score:2)
I'd rather invest money to individual cages than to catching machine.
Job Satisfaction (Score:2)
So you think your job sucks. Then you read something like this.
Only a few months?!?! Hell, I wouldn't last til lunch. So this is what migrant workers are for...
Once again, another of my 1337 job skillz hosed! (Score:5, Interesting)
I think I made a whopper 2 clams an hour back then. If it wasn't for that girl, well, I just don't know how long I would have done that job...
Chicken Matrix (Score:5, Funny)
Ugh. (Score:3, Insightful)
Asounding Improvement! (Score:5, Funny)
My god, it's like something out of science fiction.
Link to product (Score:5, Informative)
Chicken Hypnosis (Score:5, Funny)
Anybody else get the feeling he also tried a pendulum, but won't admit it?
Chickens are people, damn you! (Score:4, Funny)
I missed the 'e' in 'humane' from this line in the article:
"Starting in the early 1980s, Britain's Silsoe Research Institute received about $200,000 a year from the government to design a humane harvesting machine."
Easier way to catch chickens (Score:3, Funny)
He used a small ball of twine, which he would coat with suet and toss into the chicken pen. One of the chickens would inevitably swallow the twine, and pass it after a few days. He would then collect roll the remaining twine back into a ball, add some more suet and toss it back to the chickens. Another chicken would soon swallow the suet covered ball, which was still attached to the first chicken. After a week or so you have a whole chain of connected chickens on a rope following each other around head to tail. Makes them real easy to catch!
A what? (Score:3, Funny)
Anyone else read that as "human harvesting machine"?
Re:Laid Off (Score:2)
I just saw someone from HR, Wait... that sounds familiar tho...
Employee Vaccuum® capable of laying off, gathering up personal belongings, and shooting them out the door at a rate of 150 per minute...
Re:Build a better chicken trap... (Score:3, Funny)
What ever happened to KISS? (Score:2, Funny)
Why not just scoop out the building? Some simple chicken wire like "bull dozer" that starts at one end of the building and slowly nudges all in its path towards the business end.
After all, this thing just nudges them along.
Some simple machinery (way less than $200K worth) along 2 sides of the barn, a 6' "plow" between the two, and a hole at one end. As an X' by Y' barn slowly becomes 0 by 0, chickens emerge.
I mean, hell, if your going to put God damned EVERYBODY
Re:I Modded Down 5 European Posts (Score:5, Funny)
Re:pathetic (Score:5, Insightful)
Where did you use the "=" sign there? You said scientists who create a technology should be put to death "at the least" (I'm wondering what your "most" would be...). You did not say the users of the machines should be put to death, you said the creators. That's like suing Ford for a drunk driver killing your relative. (Pssst... it's not equal.)
I didn't insult your education, call you a fool, or discuss your drug use or lack thereof. I merely said you were being hypocritical, and you didn't answer my question: do you eat vegetables for which you must kill the organism in order to produce the food? (Carrots, potatoes, beets?)
But carrots, potatoes and beets cannot regenerate; you kill them by harvesting them.
And just because a plant doesn't have a nervous system doesn't mean that you're not removing a life force from the Earth when you kill plants. They have a Kirlian aura [synergy-co.com] which you're snuffing out. And check out PEVA, [peva.org] who argue that plants and even single-celled organisms can feel pain ("Some single cell organisms are known to react and withdraw (run!) from heat. Is this not a single-cell pain reaction without a complex human-like nervous system? How can a single cell make this determination without having a 'brain'?")
Oh, and as for religious references? Let's take Genesis: [virginia.edu]
Now, from Dictionary.com, [reference.com] dominion is:
Combining the two: God gave us supremacy over the animals. The power to govern, control, possess, and use them for our purposes.
And if you follow a more scientific track, we evolved as omnivores and the few people who I have seen attempt a vegan lifestyle ended up emaciated, weak, pale, and short. (Yes, this is anecdotal evidence.)
I'm not trying to pick a fight -- but you obviously are, given the wording in the great-grandparent post:
Calling something the truth without providing references is a Fallacious Argument. [don-lindsay-archive.org] There's lots on that page; take your pick.