Revised Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness

DBarefoot writes "Last August, my Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness was submitted to Slashdot. Some folks found it at least mildly amusing, and I received a bunch of submissions of documentation weirdness from Slashdotters and others. So we've just posted an updated version of the Hall, with more than twice the images and easier navigation."

Yowzers

[Anonymous Coward]

That is pretty weird. But not as weird as some stories I've read here [slashdot.org].

ABBA Reforms!

[smittyoneeach]

Sort of. [slashdot.org]

Extreme Weirdness

[Bob Gelumph]

The weirdness in my work project is that the documentation is missing. I keep meaning to write a comment or two, but with 12000 lines now, I just never seem to get around to it.

Re:Extreme Weirdness

[Mal-2]

Sounds like you need a round tuit [quantumenterprises.co.uk].

There are a lot of things we all would do, if we only got a round tuit.

Mal-2

Re:Extreme Weirdness

[ErichTheWebGuy]

documentation = sex:

even when you think you have enough, it is not nearly sufficient

Re:Extreme Weirdness

[ProppaT]

I hear ya...I'm up to 1890 pages on my current manual and I just got enough new info to fill another 300. Volume 3, here we come...

Re:Extreme Weirdness

[consolidatedbord]

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. -- Dick Brandon

Is this a test of the /. effect?

[Deton8]

OK, seriously, you really are just load testing your web server, right? This site is has collapsed under the /. effect with only one comment posted, in the middle of the night USA time.

Re:Is this a test of the /. effect?

[bgog]

If you subscribe you can see the stories a bit early. It was slashdotted BEFORE it appeared on the main page. You just have to wonder.

Re:Is this a test of the /. effect?

[ViGe]

It was slashdotted BEFORE it appeared on the main page.

No it wasn't. I have not subscribed, and thus could read the story only after it appeared on the main page. I could check the index page and two images before the slashdot effect killed the site.

Re:Is this a test of the /. effect?

[Niet3sche]

Noooo ... it was working a moment ago ...

now

the site is dead. :(

Re:Is this a test of the /. effect?

[WinterpegCanuck]

I can never remember, is that sadist or masochistic?

It all depends ...

[Secrity]

In this case it depends upon how you look at it:

If you do it because you enjoy watching a server fry, you are a sadist.

If you do it because you enjoy your pain of having your server fry, you are masochistic.

Re:Is this a test of the /. effect?

[GrayWing]

Kinda both - if he's just out for killing his server, he's a masochist. If he wants to frustrate thousands of /.-readers trying to access the page, it's the former.

Documentation in general...

[WegianWarrior]

...is a lot like sex - if it's medicore it's better than nothing, but when it's good it's great!

I know, old joke. I'm of the RTFA now ;)

...is a lot like sex

[ControversialPosting]

It sends you on wild goose chases for years, trying the silliest of things, eventually leading to the point where you give up and do it yourself.

I'm off to RTFA now?

[blorg]

I'm of the RTFA now?

That's what you think.

Insanity!

[Manip]

more than twice the images

Is he insane? He is posting a link with more images to /., sounds like someone who got hit by the slashdotting effect and can't get enough.... :)

Re:Insanity!

[kundor]

when will http incorporate bittorrent technology, that's what I want to know.

Then the slashdot effect would be no more!

more than twice the images, eh?

[interactive_civilian]

From the blurb:

with more than twice the images and easier navigation."

...not to mention a quicker Slashdotting...damn that site became sluggish in a hurry.

However, some of the ones that are finally loading are pretty good. I like the "rock or something" in the MRE...

:D

btw...

[interactive_civilian]

Just to reply to myself, needs to be on a T-Shirt! [darrenbarefoot.com]

Yes, but does it come in plaid?

[Q3vi1]

Makes me think about those stupid consumer warning labels, and how dumb someone must have been to actually do something that stupid. Also, there's the rejected consumer warning labels [uncertaintypark.com].

Re:Yes, but does it come in plaid?

[jpop32]

Makes me think about those stupid consumer warning labels, and how dumb someone must have been to actually do something that stupid.

The warning labels are not put for the benefit of stupid people. They are put so stupid people don't sue them after doing the exact stupid thing that the label describes.

Re:Yes, but does it come in plaid?

[jesser]

The laws that allow people to sue after doing stupid things, however, are put there for the benefit of people who (might) do stupid things.

Re:Yes, but does it come in plaid?

[biobogonics]

stupid consumer warning labels

Perhaps this is an urban legend, but one of my favorites is "do not stand ladder on frozen manure".

Re:Yes, but does it come in plaid?

[jeffy124]

obligitory link to Wacky Warnings [wackywarnings.com], a site that collects odd labels (and awards prizes for such) and promotes lawsuit abuse reform.

wow

[black mariah]

Yeah, that's some fucked up stuff. Not surprising there's a large Japanese contingent. Are there any languages that are worse for translating into English?

Re:wow

[liamchristopher]

Ya know, for my job I proofread and rewrite Japanese books. I dont think there is a worse language, japanese people have just enough comprehension of english to mangle it in astounding ways. Plus, with katakana, they are under the impression that the way they write/pronounce things is the same way as english speakers. Then again, the people I work with thought Schwarzenegger was American. They also think Green Day is punk. Go Figure.

Re:wow

[Ronny Cook]

English is *the* foreign language learned by most Japanese students, through (at least) to the end of High School. As a result there are an astounding number of native Japanese who know enough English to pass a test marked by somebody else who is also not a native English speaker. (So for a mark of 90%, presumably they can get away with a 10% miss rate.)

Have such people write documentation. Hilarity ensues.

I have at home an anime with English and Chinese subs (may be bootleg, though I didn't think it wa

Re:wow

[juhaz]

English is *the* foreign language learned by most Japanese students, through (at least) to the end of High School. As a result there are an astounding number of native Japanese who know enough English to pass a test marked by somebody else who is also not a native English speaker. (So for a mark of 90%, presumably they can get away with a 10% miss rate.)

The same (study English and are teached by another non-native), however, holds true for majority of people speaking European languages. For some reason we

Re:Are there any languages ....

[the_twisted_pair]

Yes. American.

Re:wow

[PalmerEldritch42]

Yeah, I agree. For more fun and senseless translations, try this [engrish.com].

SAIYAN WIELD WAYS AND MEANS

[subtropolis]

for those who didn't get in before the slashdotting, here's one of my favorites (i *think* i got it accurately, but it's so hard to tell...) "Winding finger have got bloodstream not walk. Throagh of peril." - that's priceless.

WARNING

1. With appertain rotor of screw setting pre ceiling on the under standing that scre no wield. May wield two-faced, pressboard securing. wield pre to begin with wiping ceilingof bilge dasto.
2. Thread of length need half as many again as tad.
3. Open toy of batteries s

Ohhhh dear..

[Debug This]

This album has 36 pictures in total

Lets see, average of 5k.. multiply by the average amount of slashdot readers.. that works out to arouuunnnnnddd...

*ahem*, remember to tell me what the afterlife is like.

Re:Google Cache Link

[complete loony]

+4 Informative? how does this get modded up? google doesn't cache the images so this link is also slashdotted.

hi

[pytsun]

hi i am an software engineer from india, can someone pliz explain what is documentation?

Re:hi

[g-san]

It's an optional deliverable after the "release" phase in the software development process. Usually obsolete, just read the code.

Re:hi

[pytsun]

"It's an optional deliverable after the "release" phase in the software development process. Usually obsolete, just read the code." funny, this is exactly the same answer I got when asked what is testing now i must code and deliver

Re:hi

[manavendra]

but Sir, this was not discussed during the requirements gathering phase sir. I am not knowing if I am to send this documentation in advance sir. Please consider sir!

Re:hi

[Rico_za]

You are to being an obvious fake. I know this thoroughly because of the way you are using grammar is completely different from local ways, and I am being local in Mumbai. Please to be explaining yourself!

Re:hi

[n4KdR4zr]

stupid_american posted this exact same thing [slashdot.org] a little up the page.

Re:You are horrible racist little turd.

[johndoejersey]

point missed completely.

Having indian friends does not stop your post having racist connotations.

Re:You are horrible racist little turd.

[david.gilbert]

Although they don't write documentation ;-)

That is because they are programmers, not because they are Indians. ;-)

japanese signs at other site...

[tiedemann]

Since the page seems to be /.-ed, I thought someone might want to read up on funny signs and stuff at www.engrish.com.

Re:HEY, I'm Japanese...

[subStance]

Yeah ? And ? I live in Japan, and I've never come across anyone who is offended by Engrish.com yet.

There's nothing nasty about Engrish.com, just as there's nothing nasty about this documentation weirdness site. It's just nice to enjoy weirdness for weirdness sake sometimes.

Re:HEY, I'm Japanese...

[Felinoid]

Ignore him.
The "Insensitive Clod" joke wasn't funny the first time yet people keep doing it in hopes of actually being funny... just once.. sigh.

Re:HEY, I'm Japanese...

[Anonymous Coward]

"Crod", I think you mean.

This one brought back memories

[Concerned Onlooker]

I've actually seen this one [darrenbarefoot.com] first hand. It's in the instructions for the heating packet for MREs (Meals Ready to Eat). I had taken my girlfriend out to Joshua Tree National Park where another friend of mine met us. I had taken the trouble to bring along a wok and all the ingredients for stir fry but my friend had brought along a box of these MREs filched from his recent stint in the service.

The kicker is that my (ex) girlfriend decided she'd rather have the MREs. I mean, come on, even bad stir fry is better than an MRE, and I know from first hand experience. Except for that one time I found a Band-Aid in my Buddha's Delight....

Re:This one brought back memories

[Bushcat]

It's in the instructions for the heating packet for MREs

I actually have several dozen of the things for reasons too stupid to go into. Other warnings include

"vapors released ... contain hydrogen, a flammable gas"

and

"when ten or more heaters are used...".

I tested the ten-heater threat model by collecting the 'vapors' in a plastic bag then exposing the contents to a match in a scientifically, controlled manner (i.e. I closed my eyes).

Basically, it's a ten-minute fart with the ability to singe eyebrows and

Re:This one brought back memories

[kman]

Here's a link to the full instructions [mreinfo.com] for the flameless ration heaters.

These heaters are great...they get the food nice and hot pretty fast...just be careful about storing and shipping them:

Meals: Ready to Explode [cargolaw.com]
The Meals: Ready to Explode have exploded [cargolaw.com]

Reminds me...

[black mariah]

This is a bit off-topic, but a while back I came across a site where the dude criticised the usability of everyday things, such as doors and elevator buttons, and so on. I thought it was the most anal crap in the world until I found out he was actually a usability expert. :) Anyone happen to know the site I'm thinking of?

Re:Reminds me...

[jesser]

You could be thinking of This is Broken [typepad.com]. I think it's funny and not anal, but maybe I've been hanging out around usability experts to much.

Btw, today's entry is hilarious.

Re:Reminds me...

[black mariah]

That's the closest one, but that's not it. This site had a ton of crap, and it was all collected by the one guy. Not all user submitted. Good stuff at this one though. Thanks for the link. :D

Re:Reminds me...

[jesser]

Tell me if you ever find the other one again. I bet you could find it on Google if you remember what he said about elevator buttons or what he said about doors.

Re:Reminds me...

[pixel.jonah]

Or better yet I'd highly recommend any of Donald Norman [google.com]'s books.

Re:Reminds me...

[TimMann]

I don't know the site, but would the dude be Donald A. Norman?

Re:Reminds me...

[Kevan_moran]

You may be talking of Alan Cooper. He talks a lot of sense about usability. He can be found at www.cooper.com His stuff is well worth a read and if you ever get a chance to see him speak - Take It.

Probably Jef Raskin

[TheBillGates]

You're probably thinking of that whacky Jef Raskin. http://humane.sourceforge.net/home/

Mirror (site looking like its about to buckle)

[Zardus]

There's a mirror here [dyndns.org]. Enjoy.

Thank You Kindly! [nm]

[Vagary]

This isn't the content you're looking for.

IF Slashdot

[MartyJG]

Room: Slashdot Main Page

Directly in front of you are several stories. You notice a story about Quake with the notice 'Read More' beneath it.

>click notice

Room: Weekly Obfuscated Quake Story

You are now in an area that seems vaguely familiar. You immediately notice several trolls that are already attacking both the Quake story and a purple dinosaur.

Your score is currently +5 moderator points.

>attack trolls with mod points

You use all of your moderator ammo on the trolls, taking out a handful. There

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Mods, come on!

[MartyJG]

Yup - you spotted it, but I'll take the other guys mod points anyway!

I guess the April fools was on me - posting in the wrong story [kicks self]

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

The posting

[Mr_Silver]

Revised Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness
Posted by simoniker on Thursday April 01, @08:26AM from the you-only-live-twice dept.

DBarefoot writes "Last August, my Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness was killed by Slashdot. Some folks found it at least mildly amusing that a poor server should die in such agony, and I received a bunch of submissions of documentation weirdness from Slashdotters and others. Given that I've run out of spoons to gouge my eyes out, I've decided that I might as well kill the server for a second time."

Maybe someone who's British ...

[value_added]

can tell me whether the custom of using a trouser press (there's one pictured in the article for anyone wonder WTF I'm talking about) is alive and well. Never seen one used except maybe as a set prop on Masterpiece Theatre.

No

[ColourlessGreenIdeas]

Most brits (and certainly all british slashdotters) don't use trouser presses. You really do see them in hotels from time to time; presumably some hotel star rating or other requires them.

Re:Maybe someone who's British ...

[fuzzybunny]

I've seen them used fairly frequently by people who wear suits a lot. A lot of fabrics don't take happily to ironing, and after a few wearings, suit trousers will wrinkle up, especially behind the knees.

Hotels will have them quite frequently for business travellers, and you will find them at most cleaners' as well (generally you don't need to get a suit/pants cleaned as often as just pressed.)

Re:Maybe someone who's British ...

[the real darkskye]

Not for pressing trousers, but they do make great cheese toasties

Re:Maybe someone who's British ...

[toxcspdrmn]

I'm British and I always make a point of using the Corby [corbypress.com] trouser press when staying in a hotel. It's the only time my trousers (not "pants", USAians) ever get ironed.

I have a theory that they are not provided by the hotel, but by a charitable society - a bit like the Gideon's but with trouser presses instead of Bibles.

Re:Maybe someone who's British ...

[gglaze]

I see these quite commonly in hotels in Italy. Not sure if they are actually meant to be used, or if they are even functional, or maybe just for decoration...

However, I have heard that...

In Soviet Russia, Trousers Press You!

April Fools

[STFS]

That site looks like it got slashdotted before anyone got to read it... did anyone actually see it? I have a funny feeling there was never anything there and the poster just had Slashdot readers "surf" the first of April. Good one (if I'm right).

Re:April Fools

[Anonytroll]

I have read it. I guess it is on a low-traffic server.

Reading it quickly..

[Tracer_Bullet82]

I read "revised hell of technical documentation"

I can't figure out how to use this...

[descentr]

One of the oddest things I've seen as far as documentation goes would have to be on the back of a package of doorstops I bought at Wal-Mart a couple years back. Take a look at this [digitalthunder.net].

Re:I can't figure out how to use this...

[Bob Cat - NYMPHS]

Notice they show the stop being used on the opening side of the door. That is because someone might try to slam the door without realizing the stop is there. It's pretty easy to damage hollowcore interior doors.

But I'm sure you already knew not to use a stop on the closing side, right?

Re:I can't figure out how to use this...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yep, I know this quite well. My father, in his infinite wisdom, after a fight with my mother tried to slam the garage door shut behind him and ended up ripping out a large chunk of the door. This is also a man that manages to walk into sliding automatic glass doors, regularly. He's taught me a lot about doors...

For some reason...

[sean.m.bober]

this one [dyndns.org] remindes me of a poster Strong Bad [homestarrunner.com] would have on his wall reminding him not to kill his little brother Strong Sad [homestarrunner.com].

Military labeling

[turtlexit]

Being in the Army, I see ridiculously labeled things all the time. 'Front Toward Enemy' on the claymore makes me laugh every time, though (although it is actually handy). I'll have to snap a few photos at the unit tomorrow.

Re:Military labeling

[SEWilco]

Is "Front Toward Enemy" on the front of a Claymore, or is it on the back so you can read it when it is properly placed?

I can never remember which way it is.

Ow.

If you can read this, you are the enemy.

Re:Military labeling

[tlhIngan]

That's why it's usually stated as "This side towards enemy", thereby eliminating the confusing "which way is front" question.

Re:Military labeling

[fgb]

Which army are you in that is still using claymores? Most armies have moved away from swords and are using projectile weapons these days.

Re:Military labeling

[turtlexit]

The United States. Uhh, moved away from projectile weapons?? What are they using, laser beams? :-P

Re:Military labeling

[fgb]

Read the message a little more carefully, especially the parts that say "moved away from swords" and "are using projectile weapons".

That was the point of the message. Claymores are a type of sword.

Inclusiveness

[SEWilco]

Is the Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness also technical documentation weirdness, so it should include itself?

AT&T Outhouse

[R2.0]

Yes, it is real, and I've seen them. They use these at the Long Lines stations and some other microwave towers. Middle of nowhere=no water=no flushee.

Re:AT&T Outhouse

[DigitalSorceress]

I was wondering about that one until I spied the date in the lower right hand corner - 11-17-49.

You'd think that nowadays, they'd just drop off a porta-john

Definitions:

[Big Nothing]

April Fools [reference.com]: April 1; celebrated by playing of practical jokes
Practical Joke [reference.com]: A mischievous trick played on a person, especially one that causes the victim to experience embarrassment, indignity, or discomfort.
Slashdotting [darrenbarefoot.com]: the specific practical joke of removing a persons website from the internet.

Make Your Own

[wwi]

While it is fun to see how badly they mess up the warning signs, you can just make your own instead. The possibilities are limitless.

sign builder [stclaire.com]

The knife

[barakn]

Either it is a left-handed knife or it is an ambidextrous knife. If it's ambidextrous, it's not so funny that a right-handed person wields it in the diagram. It is, however, a very strange looking knife no matter which way you look at it.