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Microsoft Technology

Will Your Next Car Run Windows? 732

An anonymous reader writes "Microsoft is beginning to move into the automotive industry. Their 'Automotive Business Unit' is selling a custom version of Windows CE called Windows Automotive. Microsoft attended a conference in Detroit this week to promote their software."
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Will Your Next Car Run Windows?

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  • Crashes (Score:5, Funny)

    by nmg196 ( 184961 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:21PM (#10588194)
    Great - now I can crash my car even after I've already crashed it.
    • Re:Crashes (Score:3, Funny)

      by Tongo ( 644233 )
      the horror......
      the horror......
      the horror......
    • Re:Crashes (Score:5, Funny)

      by cratermoon ( 765155 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:30PM (#10588397) Homepage
      You'll get the dreaded Blue Street Of Death
      • Nothing new... (Score:4, Insightful)

        by EmbeddedJanitor ( 597831 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @04:05PM (#10591436)
        The car was one of the original targets for WinCE V 1.0... about 6 or so years back now. There was a CD-player size thing called the Clarion or some such that never really made any impact.

        Since then they have made glossies for an automotive version (along side their PDA version, Smartphone edition etc), though it isn't apparent that they've got many customers onboard.

        So long as they stay the hell away from brakes and engine control I'm not too worried.

    • I'll be the first to re-write "Pole Position" for this new car software.

      Most of us have a reason for making "crash jokes" about Windows... so, here goes...

      Blue Screen of Death now becomes the Black Street of Death

      Even if MS software is not tied in with the underlying control systems, software crashes will likely result in more ROAD RAGE! I can see the guys of "Office Space" pounding the $h!t out of their car's printer port because the driving directions are jammed. I can also see hackers driving next t
    • Re:Crashes (Score:5, Funny)

      by Alien Being ( 18488 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:40PM (#10588606)
      MS will surely blame it on the drivers.
    • Re:Crashes (Score:3, Insightful)

      by SilentChris ( 452960 )
      "Great - now I can crash my car even after I've already crashed it."

      Congratulations! You are the [100,000th] person to make the [same damn joke about Windows], [nmg196]! Surely, you must be [proud] of your [ability to karma whore]! Please [tell your mom I said hi] and [take a lesson in comedic originality]. Sincerely, [Slashdot].
      • Re:Crashes (Score:4, Informative)

        by mog007 ( 677810 ) <Mog007@@@gmail...com> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:56PM (#10588850)
        Funny moderations don't have an affect on karma, so how exactly is nmg karma-whoring?
        • Re:Crashes (Score:3, Interesting)

          by geoffspear ( 692508 )
          Because on slashdot, any joke about how much Windows sucks is about as likely to get you moderated "Insightful" as it is to get you modded "Funny".
          • Re:Crashes (Score:3, Insightful)

            by Zhe Mappel ( 607548 )
            Because on slashdot, any joke about how much Windows sucks is about as likely to get you moderated "Insightful" as it is to get you modded "Funny".

            Well, true enough, but so what? Are you saying that the jokes aren't insightful or funny enough, or are you admitting that you don't get them? ;-)

    • Why Wait? (Score:5, Funny)

      by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:56PM (#10588852) Homepage Journal
      Great - now I can crash my car even after I've already crashed it.

      You could have it crash before it crashes.

      Things to look forward to:

      Reboot on the San Diego Freeway during rush

      You turn off the ignition and it asks if you're sure you want to do that

      You turn off ignition and it asks if you want to install patches before shutdown (then notice the next morning it's been stuck in a loop installing patches all night [this was the case with my laptop at work])

      You can only hook up MS DRM stereos, installed by MCSE's

      Blue Windscreen of Death

      All the cars in the world get cracked and do syncronized driving or demo-derby

      Yet another mandatory service you must have performed by a certified professional for $$$ (all repairs are insanely expensive now, if you haven't had wiring, eletronics, mechanicals, count yourself lucky!)

      You keep getting passed by that commie nutjob in the the veedub running Linux, despite Ballmer insisting you should have more power.

      • by DeadVulcan ( 182139 ) <dead,vulcan&pobox,com> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @01:32PM (#10589456)

        Great - now I can crash my car even after I've already crashed it.

        You could have it crash before it crashes.

        You can even crash it at the same time! Oh, the possibilities!

        Actually, I guess we've exhausted all the possibilities.

        Well, that was fun.

      • by Skraut ( 545247 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @01:35PM (#10589497) Journal
        You turn left out of your driveway and a little paperclip holding a map says "It looks like you are going to work, would you like directions?" you say no and continue down the road. At the next intersection a paperclip holding a map pops up and says "It looks like you are going to your mother-in-law's house, would you like directions?" You say no and continue driving. You turn left onto a large pier overlooking the ocean. A little paperclip appears holding a map and says "It looks like you are lost, would you like directions?" You wedge a brick on the accelerator and step out of the vehicle and watch it sail off the end of the pier.

        a little paperclip holding a map and wearing scuba gear pops up and says "You appear to be underwater, would you like directions?"

      • by qray ( 805206 )
        You missed one of the more exciting aspects of driving with Windows.

        You're driving down the highway and all of a sudden you hear a radio alert. Now instead of the steering wheel controlling the direction of your car, you're changing the volume on your radio.
      • Last year the Thai Finance Minister was trapped inside his BMW allegedly due to a software glitch. http://www.thaivisa.com/index.php?514&backPID=514& tt_news=325 But another report said it was due to an electronic failure.. http://asia.cnet.com/news/systems/0,39037054,39130 270,00.htm
      • You forgot: turn the key, and keep it turned for three minutes to start the engine.
    • Re:Crashes (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:56PM (#10588859)
      The headline shouldn't read "Will Your Next Car Run Windows?" - it should read "Will Your Next Car Run?"
  • I hope QNX [qnx.com] fights them tooth and nail.

    Is that all you wanted to say?

    That's all.
  • by FosterKanig ( 645454 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:21PM (#10588203)
    No more!!!!
  • Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

    by Rosco P. Coltrane ( 209368 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:21PM (#10588204)
    Gives a whole new meaning to "SUV" and "crash test"...
    • Gives a whole new meaning to SUV
      Sport-Utility Virus?
  • by bitchell ( 159219 )
    the crash jokes...
    • by Rosco P. Coltrane ( 209368 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:30PM (#10588384)
      Okay, I'll admit, you're right. Let's refresh the "Windows-runs-on-xyz" joke pool:

      * Will the Home edition be installed on Pintos?
      * My car only goes 50mph after downloading SP2 at the pump
      * There's a purple gorilla in the back seat reporting my every moves to bonzibuddy.com
      * Do I call Redmond to get an activation code when I add a set of fog lights to my car?
      * Steve Ballmer says piracy happens because cars are too expensive

      and of course

      * Does it run on unleaded Linux?
  • by daniil ( 775990 ) * <evilbj8rn@hotmail.com> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:22PM (#10588218) Journal
    Before you start posting stupid "If Microsoft made cars" jokes, RTFA: Windows Automotive, by the way, does not share a network with the low-level systems of a vehicle--so a software crash won't result in, say, brake failure.

    The question is, though, do we need such things in our cars? Do we really need cars equipped with "home entertainment systems," if these cars will only be used for trips to the nearest shop or driving to work?

    • Just wait........

      embrace and extend
    • by DaHat ( 247651 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:25PM (#10588291)
      The question is, though, do we need such things in our cars? Do we really need cars equipped with "home entertainment systems," if these cars will only be used for trips to the nearest shop or driving to work?

      Of course we don't *need* such options... few things in life do we actually *need*, however such toys do often make life more enjoyable.

      I dunno about you, but I don't *need* my ipod, cell phone, or laptop... and a 1 bedroom apartment and a smaller vehicle would probably cost me less and be just enough to get me by... but if one is willing and able to plunk down the cash for a little more? Why not?
    • The question is, though, do we need such things in our cars? Do we really need cars equipped with "home entertainment systems," if these cars will only be used for trips to the nearest shop or driving to work?

      Obviously, you don't have young kids. As the parent of an 18 month old, I have to say emphatically YES! My god, I pop a Wiggles DVD in, and he's happy as all can be...
    • by julesh ( 229690 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:27PM (#10588319)
      The question is, though, do we need such things in our cars? Do we really need cars equipped with "home entertainment systems," if these cars will only be used for trips to the nearest shop or driving to work?

      Of course we don't _need_ them. However, people want them and are will to pay extra money for them -- a guy I work with runs a business installing this kind of stuff. People will pay a small fortune to keep the kids quiet in the back seats...
    • by Speare ( 84249 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:37PM (#10588533) Homepage Journal
      Okay, but now that you've posed that fascinating question, is it okay if we resume with the "If Microsoft made cars" jokes?

      [voice name="jayleno"]

      Say! I wonder if those cool crash testing experts Vince and Larry will be available for promotions!? "You can learn a lot from a dummy!"

      What do you do when something goes wrong on a long road trip? "Sorry, ma'am, but the mechanic what can fix that bluescreen of yorn is out fishin' to tomorrah."

      Why does my car tell me to "Press the Brake to Go"?

      "I was going to get my dangling exhaust pipe fixed, but my wife still likes the drag and drop interface."

      I hear the Consumer Reports folks have chimed in on these new computerized dashboards. This is the first year that BMW had more bugs in their product line than Volkswagen!

      [/voice]

    • I can just imagine having Windows software in a car. Sure, this Windows Automotive doesn't integrate with low-end systems (brakes) right now, but you know how Microsoft works... embrace and extend. Next thing you know, Clippy will show up on the entertainment console. "You seem to be trying to park your vehicle. Would you like help?"
    • by Scowler ( 667000 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:41PM (#10588611)
      Imagine if you could simply just IM the car in front of you. Type (or speak, or something) in the license number in your auto IM client, and say "you just cut me off, you !@$^#$^@^%!" Now THAT would be fun....

    • I think they are making a rather bold statement there. Cars are turning in to complex interconnected systems. There isn't anything stopping manufacturers from connecting engine controls, brakes etc into a central computer, so it can, for example, warn you of failures or needed maintenance. I'm pretty sure brakes are intimately tied in to the computers in hybrids in particular.

      Most experienced software engineers can tell you when you develop complex systems with a lot of interconnects and multiple comput
    • by n1ywb ( 555767 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:45PM (#10588678) Homepage Journal
      Clearly the intent is to use WinCE for running the radio, DVD player, navigation system, etc. Of course some sort of operating system is necessary to control all of those things through a single multifunction input/display unit.

      I recently moved from Vermont to Westchester Co. New York. The roads around here are like a labrynthine maze. I use my handheld mapping GPS almost every day to find my way around. I would most certainly make effective use of an in-dash navigation system, even just to go to the store. Afterall getting lost and ending up in a bad neighborhood can really ruin your day. And lets face it, sitting in a car is boring, and a DVD player keeps the little brats quiet and entertained.

      BTW don't foget, WinCE shares absolutely zero code with other versions of Windows. Although I am a dedicated Linux proponent, I have spent some time evaluating and writing code on Windows CE and the API and overall architecture are pretty good. I haven't looked at the internals, but (correct me if I am wrong) I think MS makes the source available, don't they? Anyway from a developer's point of view it's a pretty good platform for developing such devices.
      • by ebuck ( 585470 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @01:23PM (#10589307)
        No, an operting system is not needed to control all of these units through a single multifunction input/display unit.

        Each of these systems pre-existed without a traditional operating system, whether those systems were mechanical, simple electrical circuits, PLCs or whatever. Why they would do this is the combination of two reasons.

        Price drops in hardware that can support an OS significant enough to compete with the cost of the alternative mechanical / electrical solution, and the ability to produce intermeidate versions and upgradable versions of the product which removes costs associated with pre-production glitches in the design.

        Needless to say, since the issues won't be heavily scrutinized before the item is produced, there's going to be a much greater chance that the design of these systems will become much more like programming projects instead of traditional manufacturing. With all of the known pressures on programming projects, I'd imagine that the good things in UI design that comes from the manufacturing field will be lost in a maze of widgets, and that project deadline pressures will result in rationalizing the release of less than perfect code, with maybe a "new downloadable" update planned for "when we can get to it in the future"

        There's a lot more pressure to get it right when you're mistake is going to be hardcoded into a manufacturing run of a hundred thousand items or so.

      • BTW don't foget, WinCE shares absolutely zero code with other versions of Windows.

        Sorry, but this statement is straight up false. The WinCE kernel is based off of the Windows NT 4.0 kernel. Also, WinCE shares the architecture of Windows 2000.

        Microsoft ripped out a large part of the OS functionality and replaced other parts. Most of the API is the exact same as Win2K, but a lot of function calls with eleven arguments under Win2K require to you pass nine of them as NULL or zero under WinCE.

        Just imag

    • by Lumpy ( 12016 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:49PM (#10588754) Homepage
      It's an old idea from 1990's they are re-hashing.

      the had a version of windowsCE designed for automotive uses back in 1997, in 1999 I bought a device that had their first release of it.

      it's called AutoPC and it sucked horribly.

      I expected microsoft to rehash that nightmare, but now we get to see it run more than the stereo, you get to have it control your heat, vents, defrost, etc...

      Why does it seem that insftead of innovating, microsoft simply trots out their old ideas every 7-10 years? tablet Pc's for example... they were a failure outside of specalized uses in 1989, and in the late 90's. why do they think it will work now?

      Unless they rewrote windows CE completely, I certianly would not want it in my car after living with it controlling the stereo and navigation for 4 years.
  • Ow. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by CodeWanker ( 534624 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:22PM (#10588219) Journal
    I would think Detroit has enough worries about bad perceptions regarding their reliability without adding this to it. There's a reason why it's called "WinCE"
  • nope (Score:5, Funny)

    by Mr.Coffee ( 168480 ) <rhysfeezled@gm[ ].com ['ail' in gap]> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:22PM (#10588221) Homepage
    i only drive stick, therefore i'll run linux.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:22PM (#10588228)
    Please step on brake, gas, and clutch simultaneously to reboot.
  • More importantly (Score:5, Interesting)

    by spectrum ( 92555 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:23PM (#10588244) Homepage
    Do I have to pay the M$ tax on my car.

    Can I opt for a -$100 upgrade and use other certain free OSes ?

    Answers in order: probably, and probably not.

    sigh.
    • Can I opt for a -$100 upgrade and use other certain free OSes ?

      No, but if you install Linux without starting your car, you can transfer your license to someone whose car has no OS...
  • BSOD-BWOD (Score:5, Funny)

    by jockeys ( 753885 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:23PM (#10588245) Journal
    You know it's gonna be bad when the windshield turns blue all of a sudden...
  • Who (Score:2, Insightful)

    by AcornWeb ( 770294 )
    in their right mind is going to trust their life to Microsoft? Thanks, but I think I'll pass.
  • *Looks out window*

    No horsemen, or fire in the sky. So, no.
  • BMWs (Score:5, Insightful)

    by squisher ( 212661 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:24PM (#10588275)
    I really hope that doesn't get too widespread... aren't there Videos on the net about the BMW (with Windows) where you can't close the trunk anymore and other fun things like these? Of course, maybe BMW is to blame here BUT Windows just doesn't have the reputation for reliability that I'd want for an OS in my car... no matter how many licenses M$ has already sold, that does not proof that it's good.

    ~Squisher
    • Re:BMWs (Score:3, Funny)

      Too lazy to google for it, but there was an incident in Taiwan where a guy got locked inside his BMW 7-series due to a WinCE lock-up. He had to call for help on his cellphone.
    • iPod Your BMW. [apple.com] Says Apple, this is "The first seamless integration of iPod and automobile."

      Others had made similar homebrew iPod [mac.com] and non-iPod [macnn.com] solutions before (and iPod [belkin.com] and non-iPod [engadget.com] after) Apple/BMW's solution.

      At this point, it doesn't look like Apple has any official plans to unveil further integration of Apple technology with automobiles. Of course, Apple almost always "does not comment on unreleased products."

  • It should (Score:5, Interesting)

    by computerme ( 655703 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:25PM (#10588276)
    It should be noted that I read recently (sorry no links but maybe others can chime in) that BMW is working with Apple to replace its Windows in Car solution with something from Apple.

    Will this only extend to the music portion of the car?

    Or will apple oversee other parts like navigation etc..

    It was not known according to the article, but the take away was BMW was not happy with their Microsoft solution.

    So you next car might not have a steering wheel but perhaps a "Clickable scroll wheel" ;)

    • by RAMMS+EIN ( 578166 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:32PM (#10588444) Homepage Journal
      ``BMW is working with Apple to replace its Windows in Car solution with something from Apple.''

      Does that mean that future BMWs will have only one pedal?
    • by gosand ( 234100 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:47PM (#10588722)
      It should be noted that I read recently (sorry no links but maybe others can chime in) that BMW is working with Apple to replace its Windows in Car solution with something from Apple.

      It should also be noted that BMW is a high-end product, so they aren't necessarily concerned with licensing fees. So it isn't about money. One thing that BMW is concerned with - quality when it comes to their brand image.

      I have owned BMWs for about 9 years now (and no, I can't afford new ones). But BMW is VERY strict when it comes to using their logos and even colors in anything. They are very brand conscious, because they don't want it diluted. They produce phenominal cars, and want to make sure that their brand is associated with quality. I was a little sad when I heard that they had chosen a Microsoft product for their vehicles for that very reason. I actually thought that Apple is a lot like BMW in some respects. They aren't the biggest car maker, they are somewhat of a niche product catering to a very specific customer, and they produce high-quality products. I think Apple would be a great choice, but I think a BMW-home-grown product would also be cool. (Hello? SuSE?)

  • This is it! This is how they get the military! Soon, elite Microsoft stormtroopers will swarm thestreets, while all of our military is sitting in vans.

    And those doors won't open.
  • Is anyone else seriously frightened by the thought of this?

    I hope the auto manufacturers do some very extensive testing if they should choose that option.
  • Blue Airbag of Death
  • Finally this topic! (Score:4, Interesting)

    by sleighb0y ( 141660 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:28PM (#10588342) Homepage
    Does anyone know of a open source project to control a Fuel-Injected engine? I have been thinking about how to set it up, and am not sure of the off-the-shelf hardware that would be needed. But since most engines just use a simple collection of sensors that return a given voltage it probably wouldn't be that hard. And feedback is done by sending X volts to device Y.

    So anyone who knows of USB/PCI/Serial devices that can communicate this way on many (30 - 40) lines. Post them here, please!

    I'd ideally want an embedded solution, but why not a PC-based solution. You'd just have to wait for the PC to boot before you could start the car.
  • I'm looking forward to the System Restore feature, I've had hail damage for 2 years that would cost a fortune to fix the old fashioned way.
  • confusion (Score:5, Funny)

    by justforaday ( 560408 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:28PM (#10588350)
    I can see the confusion now...

    Geek walks into auto dealer:
    "I'd really like a car without Windows, please."
  • I wonder if they are anticipating mandatory 'black boxes' in cars?
  • Use buying power (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Zzeep ( 682115 ) <.moc.nevsnirgnav. .ta. .htennek.> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:29PM (#10588363) Homepage
    I truely don't understand geeks who claim microsoft sucks but still for example have an xbox at home. If you don't want to buy a car with Microsoft software on some device, tell the salesperson that you won;t buy like the car because it uses Microsoft software. It's that simple, really.
  • I like my aribags to deploy without first having to click through "Are you sure?" screens. And how would the EULA read? "Microsoft reserves the right to tamper with your brakes at any time, and without notification. You may only use gasoline in this tank and this tank only; to tranfer your fuel rights you must first uninstall the engine and tank from this model."

    Bluntly we get enough highway congestion without adding rebooting to the mix. Bring on the stick shift throwbacks!
  • I had a WebTV Dish Player 7200 (like Tivo) made by Microsoft. The darn thing kept crashing every 3 months. Since I bought it new and was under warrent, I had to mail it back to the manafacture for new replacement. Does this mean I be getting a new car every few months?
  • Will Your Next Car Run Windows?

    Well, I'm hoping that I'm not the exception (this time). Considering that my desktop GUI is OS X, my laptop/entertainment TV player [PowerBook] is again, OS X -- and the supplied router by my ISP [Microsoft based] was tossed in the trash. Not to mention the main server in every office I work for [IT admin] is Linux based along with my home server and mass storage device [24 drives set up in various RAID configurations mounted to a piece of plywood gives me many terabytes ;].
  • The "Blue Screen of Death" will take on a whole new meaning... ...why do we need a computer in the car? People can't even talk on the phone while driving...

    Elipses: The Greek God of Omission

    ~
  • RTFA (Score:3, Interesting)

    by nblender ( 741424 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:31PM (#10588413)
    The article doesn't say _anything_ about wince running the fuel injectors, or the ABS, or air bags, or brakes, or steering... It mentions only annoying stuff that has no business being in a car anyway.... Having an in-vehicle DVD player itself is probably more likely to cause crashes than what operating system is being run on said DVD player. Yes, I'm old. I drive a 21 year old diesel truck with no electronics and 440,000 miles on the odometer.
  • by Billy the Mountain ( 225541 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:32PM (#10588449) Journal
    What would happen if you clicked 'No' to the EULA? Would you have to return the car for a refund?

    BTM
  • Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

    by Prince Vegeta SSJ4 ( 718736 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:33PM (#10588469)
    Driver: Makes a left turn, a right turn, then presses brake. Car keeps moving

    Clippy: you have made a left turn, a right turn, and pressed the brake, it seems you are trying to evade a road hazard.

    Clippy: would you like to enable the road hazard wizard?

    Driver: Hurridly presses the YES button on the steering wheel?

    Clippy: Windows ME (Mobile Edition), has many new features, it now loads faster than ever...you can even shut down unresponsive programs without rebooting. Car now approaching cliff

    Driver: WTF, hurry up!

    Clippy: Thank, you for installing Windows ME. Would you like to run the AutoEvade Wizard.

    Driver: Ithought I just did that, pushes yes.

    Clippy: What type of hazard are you trying to evade?

    • Pothole
    • pedestrian
    • CowboyNeal
    • The hazard I am trying to evade is not listed here
    Driver selects the last option, car is bouncing of the guardrain now

    Clippy: Windows ME has detected new hardware, and is unable to find a driver for it and must shut down.

    Driver: Argrghehahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......$^@$^@^@^3cras h^C^C^CC^C^

  • by qweqazfoo ( 765286 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:35PM (#10588507)
    There was a knock on my door. It was the man from Microsoft.

    "Not you again," I said.

    "Sorry," he said, a little sheepishly. "I guess you know why I'm here."

    Indeed I did. Microsoft's $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system was meant to be universally effective, to convince every human being on the planet that Windows 95 was an essential, some would say integral, part of living. Problem was, not everyone had bought it. Specifically, I hadn't bought it. I was the Last Human Being Without Windows 95. And now this little man from Microsoft was at my door, and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

    "No," I said.

    "You know I can't take that," he said, pulling out a copy of Windows 95 from a briefcase. "Come on. Just one copy. That's all we ask."

    "Not interested." I said. "Look, isn't there someone else you can go bother for a while? There's got to be someone else on the planet who doesn't have a copy."

    "Well, no," The Microsoft man said. "You're the only one."

    "You can't be serious. Not everyone on the planet has a computer," I said. "Hell, not everyone on the planet has a PC! Some people own Macintoshes, which run their own operating system. And some people who have PCs run OS/2, though I hear that's just a rumor. In short, there are some people who just have no use for Windows 95."

    The Microsoft man looked perplexed. "I'm missing your point," he said.

    "Use!" I screamed. "Use! Use! Use! Why buy it, if you can't use it?"

    "Well, I don't know anything about this 'use' thing you're going on about," The Microsoft man said. "All I know is that according to our records, everyone else on the planet has a copy."

    "People without computers?"

    "Got 'em."

    "Amazonian Indians?"

    "We had to get some malaria shots to go in, but yes."

    "The Amish."

    "Check."

    "Oh, come on," I said. "They don't even wear buttons. How did you get them to buy a computer operating system?"

    "We told them there were actually 95 very small windows in the box," the Microsoft man admitted. "We sort of lied. Which means we are all going to Hell, every single employee of Microsoft." He was somber for a minute, but then perked right up. "But that's not the point!" he said. "The point is, everyone has a copy. Except you."

    "So what?" I said. "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you expect me to do it, too?"

    "If we spent $300 million advertising it? Absolutely."

    "No."

    "Jeez, back to that again," the Microsoft man said. "Hey. I'll tell you what. I'll give you a copy. For free. Just take it and install it on your computer." He waved the box in front of me.

    "No," I said again. "No offense, pal. But I don't need it. And frankly, your whole advertising blitz has sort of offended me. I mean, it's a computer operating system! Great. Fine. Swell. Whatever. But you guys are advertising it like it creates world peace or something."

    "It did."

    "Excuse me?"

    "World peace. It was part of the original design. Really. One button access. Click on it, poof, end to strife and hunger. Simple."

    "So what happened?"

    "Well, you know," he said. "It took up a lot of space on the hard drive. We had to decide between it or the Microsoft Network. Anyway, we couldn't figure out how to make a profit off of world peace."

    "Go away," I said.

    "I can't," he said. "I'll be killed if I fail."

    "You have got to be kidding," I said.

    "Look," the Microsoft man said, "We sold this to the Amish. The Amish! Right now, they're opening the boxes and figuring out they've been had. We'll be pitchforked if we ever step into Western Pennsylvania again. But we did it. So to have you holding out, well, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to the company. It's embarrassing to the product. It's embarrassing to Bill."

    "Bill Gates does not care about me," I said.

  • No (Score:3, Insightful)

    by PotatoHead ( 12771 ) * <doug AT opengeek DOT org> on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:37PM (#10588546) Homepage Journal
    I'm not sure they will get into the core systems anyway. I think this is a likely move toward getting their media formats everywhere they can.

    They know it's going to be hard to compete with Apple because the I-pod already captured the mindshare of the important people. (The cool ones.)

    If they get their stuff built into the car, then they can tie that, their OS, delivery formats and services into a delivery chain that does not leave room for I-pod.

  • BMW already tried it (Score:3, Informative)

    by AnalogDiehard ( 199128 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @12:55PM (#10588846)
    M$ already partnered with BMW to embed their computers with WinCE back in 2002.

    The results have been less than rosey. One famous example is the Thai Finance Minister [aardvark.co.nz] who was trapped in his BMW after WinCE crashed and immobilized the vehicle - doors, locks, windows, AC, everything.

    • by stubear ( 130454 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @02:02PM (#10589960)
      The thai minister's car was not a BMW model with Windows Automotive, it was an older model. The ONLY BMW with Windows Automotive in it is the 7 series and this is used to control mainly the entertainment and environment controls, it does not run any of the other systems. Your link even mentions this fact but once again stupid moderators mod idiots like you up.
  • by nuintari ( 47926 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @01:37PM (#10589527) Homepage

    Things I do not want in my car, ever, and why:

    1. GPS Navigation System: Maybe for some of you, but I have a good direction sense, mapquest, and a printer.
    2. TV/DVD Player: Are you fucking insane? You can't watch tv while your driving, and I do not drive my car only to have the passengers ignore me while they enjoy the latest simpsons. Entertain your driver damnit! And don't give me that, "But it keeps the kids quiet!" argument. Fuck your kids, your kids suck.
    3. OnStar: Apparently, you can use onstar to order flowers, arrange vacations, and have a hooker waiting for you on your lunch break. All things that are safer to do while you are NOT DRIVING. Well, maybe not the hooker, but come on people, cell phones are bad enough, now we have a shopping cart system in every rich man's car to distract him from what he should be paying attention to: the road.
    4. An OS: Since I do not want any of these handy "time saving" services in my car, why in hell's name do I need an OS for in my car? I don't! Last I checked, I don't have one in my current car, and it seems to get me to places just fine. I need windows CE running my car as much as I need MacOSX running the office water cooler.
    Sometimes people get so caught installing a computer in everything that they forget to take a step back and think, "Ya know, this is the dumbest idea I have ever had."
  • by Animats ( 122034 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @02:08PM (#10590061) Homepage
    Actually, if there's an OS in a car today, it's probably QNX [qnx.com]. QNX's maker, QSSL, keeps a low profile; you don't see their logo on end user products. But somewhere inside, there's the little OS that just works.

    I've heard that Microsoft made a presentation to some big car company, and insisted that Microsoft had to control the content of the startup screen. The car people did not like that at all.

  • by Nonillion ( 266505 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @02:56PM (#10590662)
    Microsoft announced that in order to track bugs they will include a new dump screen called the "Blue windshield of death"

  • by caesar79 ( 579090 ) on Thursday October 21, 2004 @03:21PM (#10590934)
    At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.
    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

    For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

    The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
  • The wrong mentality (Score:3, Interesting)

    by smeenz ( 652345 ) on Friday October 22, 2004 @01:09AM (#10595449) Homepage
    This is the result of the "you can't get fired by buying xxxxx" mentality, and the droids that design these cars figure they're not going to get fired by teaming up with Microsoft, but as we all know, Microsoft is the king of the software world.

    Despite the media attention Microsoft has been getting lately regarding security (or lack thereof) concerns, most end users still don't understand what all the fuss is about, because let's face it - that's a problem for the computer techs to worry about.

    The general public don't even understand who or what Microsoft is. They just click here to go to "mail", which is 99% of the time, Outlook Express, but they don't know that. It's just their mail. Then they click on the attachment and it opens in the word processor, which is of course Word, but again, they don't know that.

    In fact, they don't know, by name, any of the software they use on their computer. They don't know which company made it, and neither do they care.

    Sometimes they hear about these 'linux' people, and they regard them as akin to someone who builds a hotrod from scratch - it's certainly not something that they would be doing themselves.

    Some of these people work for the auto industry. They use computers, but as an end-user, not as a technician or programmer. They have managers, who use the corporate email program, which is of course Outlook, but they don't know what it's called.

    Some of the high ranking managers have PDAs that they use to check their email and show off with in board meetings. They run Windows CE, and once again, they have no idea of that fact.

    At this point, does it surprise anyone that knowing what they do about the computer industy, that these companies choose to work with microsoft to get integrated computers installed in their cars ?

    Microsoft has always targeted the CEO/CIO types the most strongly, because you only need to put the work in to convince a few of those types to use your products and you'll get thousands or more licenses sold. And guess what, it's those same people who are the ones deciding who to partner with for integrated car computers.

    /dev/surprise: No such file or directory

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