Man Sells Baby to Pay for Gadgets

nzgeek writes "This guy seems to have a serious gadget addiction: 'we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is really good value these days. So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000?' " This one definitely raises a lot of important questions. $30k is a lot of gadgets, so you must choose wisely!

Let me be the first to say

[FidelCatsro]

If this is not an april fools joke i shall eat my mac

Re:Let me be the first to say

[BohKnower]

And I shall eat my BigMac!!!

Re:Let me be the first to say

[xlcus]

And drink your Google Gulp! [google.co.uk]

Re:Let me be the first to say

[brxndxn]

about as tasty as a mac..

Re:Let me be the first to say

[LiquidCoooled]

Mac mini is quite digestable now. Though I hear that eating Tiger fuzz gives you furrballs.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[FidelCatsro]

its ok mine is filled with GNU/Meat

Re:Let me be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

... wow that was such a poor troll i think you gave me cancer

Penguins

[PygmyShrew]

But he who tux into penguin-meat gets tarballs.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[Frightened_Turtle]

...and eating raw meat will give you fuzzy balls....

Re:Let me be the first to say

[bob670]

Hold on there pal, I'm from Apple's credit department, you still owe us the following...

1. One arm, left or right, your choice
2. One leg, again, your choice
3. 1/5th of your immortal soul

and you have not finished your KoolAid. When those task are complete you may commence eating your Mac. And good news, if you need to replace it, we know accept.....

wait for it...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

that's right, babies!!!!

Re:Let me be the first to say

[tangledweb]

So the only believable part of the story is that the original article is slashdotted.

Oh, no, that would mean that slashdotters RTFA - I call April fool.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[GtKincaid]

Reminds me of a joke.. What do you call a slashdoter who RTFA ... A karma whore

Re:Let me be the first to say

[tomhudson]

What do you call a slashdoter who RTFA ... A karma whore

Nah, that's the cut-n-paste dude's domain. Like this:

This guy seems to have a serious gadget addiction: 'we're selling our son for $30k. Or my penis, whichever gets the most. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, and my dick still works, sort of; Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid or a kiwi penis because they're both usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is real

Re:Let me be the first to say

[TFGeditor]

I have never understood why anybody would post an article on /. then act all aghast over the /. effect. Do they really not know? Are they "testing" the effect? Are they CowboyNeal groupies?

I don't get it.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[TFGeditor]

That was the impression I got after viewing the site. The site owner was apparently prepared for slashdotting.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[amberp]

Don't eat your mac. Eat my PC instead and give me your mac.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

Sure I'll give you my MAC , 07-FF-E2-F4-00-AF
boom tish

buy an eupod for it.

[leuk_he]

Well iff you like apple gadged you buy an apple eu-pod for it:

apple eupod for xs4all members [xs4all.nl] (sorry dutch only)

Re:Let me be the first to say

[Seumas]

No kidding. April Fools is the worst day of the year on Slashdot. Slashdot treats April Fools day like that stupid gross uncle you always have around who thinks it's still funny to do the "hey, pull my finger!" gag.

It's just stupid, juvinile, uninteresting and retarded.

I like humor as much as the next guy, but there's never any humor in Slashdot April Fool's stories.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[binarybum]

hey Seumas.....

pull my finger.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[Wordsmith]

Just don't eat your iPod Shuffle.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[MysteriousPreacher]

Go for a Quadra if you can. That was a wonderful vintage.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[GreyPoopon]

If this is not an april fools joke i shall eat my mac

You know, I spent a good three minutes just staring at my screen with my mouth open before I remembered that it was April 1. I was caught between the audacity of such a stunt, the possibility that maybe it wasn't a real child, and the indifference of the Slashdot editor. What a ride! Thanks for the joke.

Re:Let me be the first to say

[hey!]

Spoilsport.

Noticing the calendar on the wall and putting two and two together doesn't mean you deserve a medal. You're supposed to play along gradually pushing the boundary between credible and absurd until the a great mass of people who haven't glanced at their calendar smack themselves in the forhead and groan, "I've been had!"

Re:Arrested

[FidelCatsro]

Oh F*ck ,I will start on the Power cable .. ;) ofcourse i may just wait till i have confermation from the BBC

Re:Let me be the first to say

[FidelCatsro]

Well if i have to eat the hardrive , my projects may end up getting ""Forked""

Complete text of article in case of slashdotting..

[nmg196]

Decisions [gadgetophile.com]

A couple of months ago, my wife and I were approached with an interesting offer by an affluent couple from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:

• A nice G4 Powerbook. I've always been a Windows guy, but only due to cost. I'm super-keen to try out a nice fast Mac.
• A Mac mini for home. Our house is pretty small, and a mini would make an ideal home media server thing.
• An Alienware PC gaming rig, or maybe a hand-built gaming machine.
• A PSP and/or Nintendo DS.
• One of those portable media players like the Mrobe or something.

This entry was posted

on Friday, April 1st, 2005
and is filed under Personal [gadgetophile.com], Thoughts [gadgetophile.com], Gadgets [gadgetophile.com].
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 [gadgetophile.com]

feed.

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[nzgeek]

Hey thanks for that. Looks like it's already toast.

Mean time to failure: about 180 seconds. I blame ipowerweb.com :)

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[imperialstormtrooper]

Why should he rule out slavery? The market value might be higher and you would deprive the child of some valuable life experiences and lessons....

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[SnapShot]

Electronic Arts wasn't hiring! ;-)

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[CrackedButter]

Don't forget to duck!

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[antic]

I traded my mum for a Slashdot subscription, so I guess anything's possible.

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[balster neb]

Yeah right. This is all just a silly april fool's day prank. Here is a REAL mirror of the page:

WordPress

Error establishing a database connection

This either means that the username and password information in your wp-config.php file is incorrect or we can't contact the database server at localhost.

* Are you sure you have the correct username and password?
* Are you sure that you have typed the correct hostname?
* Are you sure that the database server is running?

If you're unsure what thes

Re:Complete text of article in case of slashdottin

[faxafloi]

Actually, a kid can be a pretty good gadget in itself.

April Fools

[mirko]

the problem with these jokes is that unless these are totally stupid, theyll all eventually come to reality.
That's why I enjoyed the GMAil story that much : Nobody believed it :-D

Re:April Fools

[Lehk228]

mirko just said that o.O

Re:April Fools

[DigitumDei]

LOL my gmail window shares a monitor with outlook. So it's up all day reguardless. :P

1327 MB. ;)

Rumor has it...

[gowen]

... that slashdot once ran an April Fools piece that was both funny and plausible. It was 1997, if I remember correctly.

Of course, it's entirely possible that this recollection is a hoax, too.

Re:Rumor has it...

[baryon351]

didn't you post that here last year?

If you did, then this recollection is a dupe.

Re:Rumor has it...

[The-Bus]

Don't worry, they will re-post this story next April Fool's.

Re:Rumor has it...

[Seumas]

Slashdot should do one really amusing and clever April Fool joke each year. Much better than posting two dozen really pathetic ones. Or just have a special section each year where people can submit their April Fools spottings.

Re:Rumor has it...

[Captain Nitpick]

... that slashdot once ran an April Fools piece that was both funny and plausible. It was 1997, if I remember correctly.

The sad thing is, the reason that this story isn't funny is that it's plausible.

SCO will dispute this.

[LiquidCoooled]

The kids mother is wanting to fight the case, but SCO are sure they are the father.

Re:SCO will dispute this.

[carlmenezes]

SCO doesn't have the balls :)

Legality and April Fool

[fembots]

First of all, the article is completely off-topic, it should be "AskSlashdot" not "Technology"!

I don't know many countries that it is legal to sell your offsprings. So this raises an important question - if someone went to the airport today and announced that he was going to set off a bomb, can he use "Hey it's April Fool" as an excuse to get away?

Re:Legality and April Fool

[AmericanInKiev]

Saying you're going to sell (or even strangle) your child is IANAL IMO legitimate humor and falls well within the protections of the first amendment -

Whereas delivering a bomb threat to a public institution is not protected.

It has nothing to do with the day.

AIK

Re:Legality and April Fool

[mpe]

I don't know many countries that it is legal to sell your offsprings.

Wonder if there's anywhere it is legal to sell your politicans. Not that most of them would raise much money.

Re:Legality and April Fool

[Mac Degger]

Well, in many countries it's possible to buy politicians (call it 'lobbying' and it's legal, too!)...I just wonder if it's a buyers or sellers market?

Re:Legality and April Fool

[Mr2cents]

Wonder if there's anywhere it is legal to sell your politicans. Not that most of them would raise much money.

Plus, it's heavily taxed.. Darn politicians!

Re:Legality and April Fool

[Gadzinka]

Wonder if there's anywhere it is legal to sell your politicans. Not that most of them would raise much money.

So do it the other way around: threaten, that you will send somewhere your politicians, unless they pay you not to.

Robert

PS Such fundraising campaign would work much better if you threatened to send some lawyers.

Re:Legality and April Fool

[NoseBag]

"Wonder if there's anywhere it is legal to sell your politicans."

Ours in the US have been for sale for centuries.

Re:Legality and April Fool

[Capt James McCarthy]

"So this raises an important question - if someone went to the airport today and announced that he was going to set off a bomb, can he use "Hey it's April Fool" as an excuse to get away?" Asking for personal reasons? However, it will be followed by the April Fools joke your cell mate, Buba plays on you by stating "I'm not gonna touch you. You are the man."

How abt this?

[sachins]

How about some Robotic artificial baby to compensate for the loss of your son? :) Something like an Aibo perhaps..

Re:How abt this?

[Jesus_666]

Great, then he'll almost kill someone, get kicked out of the family for some reason and go on the adventure of his artificial life with his talking robot teddy. Hmm, this sounds strangely familiar...

about 15 seconds

[ack154]

To realize what day it was.

The rest of that 15 seconds was spend thinking "WTF?"

Re:about 15 seconds

[Gleng]

It took me about 2 or 3 minutes. But then I haven't had any coffee yet today. :(

Damnit. I told my wife and my Dad about it, and everything. Now I look like a complete chump.

Fucking April the 1st. It gets me every damn year.

A Calendar

[Pond823]

with, like, special days marked on it.

Why not get $50K?

[tquinlan]

Frankly, if one is going to sell such "merchandise" to pay for gadgets, I would go out of my way to find another buyer (check the black market), and start a bidding war! You could likely get up to $50K that way - and then imagine how much you could get in gadgetry!

Or, better yet, auctions on eBay, with some well placed shill bidding could get you $100K! Then you could double your fun/d! ;)

Re:Why not get $50K?

[sepluv]

Except that last time someone tried to sell their child on eBay (in Germany), eBay reported them to the police and they were arrested.

Sad

[tetrahedrassface]

So this guys wants to sell his child for 30,000 dollars, while I have a friend that sold a kidney and now is in jail. Isn't that funny? I have in idea for him though. Step up and be a parent, and love his child. The gadgets will come. Maybe he could get a job. There is no job like a being a real parent.

Novel idea that. I love my children, and shudder at the greed involved here.

I am thinking though... A new mac could be nice..........

/Me looks plaintively over at his son eating breakfast....

Re:Sad

[Bertie]

Oh, man.

Were you born yesterday?

Re:Sad

[tetrahedrassface]

Actually I was trying to imply that I though the story was true, and then end it by saying that I would sell my son, for a new g5.

Yes I knew it was a joke, but I guess my sarcasto-meter was running low. If I have to expain the post, then It probably means I failed at it, BUt it was supposed to be funny. Like "Im looking at my son to see how much he is worth".

Anyway, coffee will get my synapses greased up, and by 10:00 I might be able to conjure up something worthwhile. Peace, D

sheesh

[Bazman]

Better to not have the kid in the first place! Then you'll have loads of money to spend on gadgets and you wont have to put an april fools joke on slashdot.

The real article?

[NightWulf]

A couple of months ago, I was approached with an interesting offer by an affluent company from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, i'm selling my popular newsite Slashdot for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this. The company really liked the website, and they said there wouldn't be as many repeats, dupes and Roland Piquepaille articles . I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days for this quality.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:

* A dictionary to learn how to properly spell.

* Some kind of anti-bias machine. Maybe Microsoft makes one.

* An anti-duping machine.

* A vaccine for my Apple Fever. And not the one that attacked my lower intestine that summer of 76.

* Maybe a realdoll.

Boom.

[nzgeek]

Wow. Nice April fools joke on my hosting provider - the site lasted all of about 60 seconds after the article went public. I never expected this pretty lame joke to actually get posted.

Here's a nicely formatted version of the article text (compared to that pretty poor effort above... thanks for the effort, but if you're going to repost the article text, perhaps at least remove the piles of whitespace mmkay?)

A couple of months ago, my wife and I were approached with an interesting offer by an affluent couple from California. After thinking carefully, we've decided to take them up on their offer. My fetish for gadgets is well puplicised through this blog, and I think this offer will help me finally get those gadgets I've been coveting for so long.

That's right, we're selling our son for $30k. There's nothing sinister about this, he's not going into child slavery or anything, Randy and Linda just really liked his demeanor, and they're keen on a Kiwi kid because they're usually so healthy. I hear $30 grand is a really good number these days.

So help me out: what would be a good swag of gadgets to get hold of for US$30,000? Here's my initial wish-list:

• A nice G4 Powerbook. I've always been a Windows guy, but only due to cost. I'm super-keen to try out a nice fast Mac.
• A Mac mini for home. Our house is pretty small, and a mini would make an ideal home media server thing.
• An Alienware PC gaming rig, or maybe a hand-built gaming machine.
• A PSP and/or Nintendo DS.
• One of those portable media players like the Mrobe or something.

Re:Boom.

[nzgeek]

Phew, a static page for that one article appears to have saved the day. Huzzah!

White space

[sczimme]

Wow. Nice April fools joke on my hosting provider - the site lasted all of about 60 seconds after the article went public.
...
Here's a nicely formatted version of the article text (compared to that pretty poor effort above... thanks for the effort, but if you're going to repost the article text, perhaps at least remove the piles of whitespace mmkay?)

Maybe if you didn't have all that white space in your page your server load wouldn't be so high. Did you ever think of that? Well, did you??

Geez, some

Subscribers

[peterprior]

This must be the day people who pay money to read slashdot hate.

Happy April 1st!

[Stalyn]

2005 Britannica takeover of Wikimedia. [wikipedia.org]

Gmail rolls out Infinity+1 storage plan. [google.com]

Re:Happy April 1st!

[imsabbel]

LOL
Those are the best 2 i have seen this year. NIce one.
Especially the "takeover" pix with the commando on wikipedia and the google "storage comparison" sketch....

Re:Happy April 1st!

[Stalyn]

haha that shit was hilarious... i love april 1st

Re:Happy April 1st!

[Stalyn]

well it's half joke half real... as you can see the counter is going to approach 2 GB at around 12am EST. So I suppose it will end there and the storage capicity will be 2 GB instead of 1 GB. But it's still a joke I mean the drawing is hilarious.

Just so long...

[R.Caley]

As they have mapped the kid's genome and so are in a position to supply source code to the buyer.

seven words....

[iceT]

61" LCD Television with all the trimmings

I mean, geez, it's only 30K.

Aw man

[Hamster Of Death]

...and the crapfest begins....
really.. is it so hard to come up with semi plausible fake stories?

Man Sells Baby to Pay for Gadgets

[Coppit]

Who cares? As long as it isn't his baby. ;)

Interesting

[TheFlu]

Isn't it usually the other way around: Man sells gadgets to pay for baby?

I knew it

[DJDutcher]

It had to be a hoax cause if it was real his wife would have spent the money on a new bedroom set.

Think About the Moral Issues!

[tezza]

What if these funds were used buying M$ Products, or an SCO license. We couldn't have that!

Check out PA

[PhilHibbs]

Penny Arcade [penny-arcade.com] have got a pretty funny April Fools issue.

Quad Itanium

[m50d]

Unfortunately, that would probably use up the entire 30k right there. So maybe I'd go for a quad opteron, really beefy graphics card, and doom 3. Then for when I'm out and about I want a zaurus or A370 with the expansion sleeve, senseboard (clips onto your hands, virtual keyboard) and an over-eye display, so I can walk around and use my comp. With an enormous usb hard drive (both the pdas I mention have usb host capability which is why I chose them) and all the usual stuff like gps. And maybe an AV140 for v

Bad

[The Cisco Kid]

I know its meant as an April fool, but this one is in really bad taste.

You can tell it's an April Fool's Joke...

[Quarters]

because it's not a dupe.

This has to be some kind of April fools' joke

[suman28]

This has to be some kind of April fools' joke. I can't see how the mother, family or govt would allow such a sale.

April Fools...

[Dilbert_]

Hah! Everybody knows the going rate for a healthy baby is way less than $30.000...

Moostercard, Vesa and others...

[suman28]

Sony SDM-P234/B 23" Wide Screen Flat Panel LCD $1642 EPSON PowerLite 821p LCD Multimedia Projector $2359 Knowing that your smelly crying offspring will ruin someone else's night - priceless. For everything else, there is Moostercard.

"Choose wisely"

[Guanix]

$30k is a lot of gadgets, so you must choose wisely!

Actually, if you have a lot of money, I would think that you don't have to choose so wisely. You would have to choose wisely if you can afford only a few gadgets.

Moostercard, Vesa and others...

[suman28]

Sony SDM-P234/B 23" Wide Screen Flat Panel LCD $1642

EPSON PowerLite 821p LCD Multimedia Projector $2359

Knowing that your smelly crying offspring will ruin someone else's night - priceless.

For everything else, there is Moostercard.

Wrong section...

[Wubby]

This really should have been an "Ask Slashdot". And $30k? Please, you can probably get better profit you sold it for parts...

ultimate geek wagon

[Yonder Way]

You could always start out with a Pizgauer 6x6 ambulance [4x4crosslander.net] and outfit it with $15K worth of gadgetry.

For $15K that Pinz will be more capable off-road than any new SUV, including Jeeps and H2 Hummers. Has plenty of room inside for lots of hardware and a crew of geeks. And it's great for attention whoring, which you seem to already be good at ("hey I sold my kid for some gadgetry...")

Steve Jobs joins IKEA

[Mr_Silver]

I preferred The Register's April 1st efforts with Steve Jobs joins IKEA [theregister.co.uk].

April Fools Day is Great isn't it?

[Urgo]

For a full list of sites that pulled April Fools Day Pranks this year check out this list here [urgo.org] -

Here is a sampling:

dotget.net [dotget.net] - Microsoft to put P2P software .GET into next version of Windows
kylewenda.com [kylewenda.com] - the government records your phone calls... scary
rfc-editor.org [rfc-editor.org] - RFC for "Requirements for Morality Sections in Routing Area Drafts"
planet.gentoo.org [gentoo.org] - Various things, CFLAGS, etc
fark.com [fark.com] - Many Jokes (keep reloading): BOOBIES!, Logged in as admin, North-Central Kentucky Bunghole-Discharge, page from 1999, BEER
2600.com [2600.com] - Formal Attire required for 2600 meetings today
forumsector.com [forumsector.com] - Changed the name to Nascar Sector
wikipedia.org [wikipedia.org] - Britannica taking over Wikimedia
google.com [google.com] - Google releases Google Gulp
kellyosbourne.org [kellyosbourne.org] - Sanctuary records group shut us down
nukefreezone.net [nukefreezone.net] - Making fun of atrios.blogspot.com
weebl.jolt.co.uk [jolt.co.uk] - Replaced with Cats-By-Mail
wingus.ampedhost.com [ampedhost.com] - Site converted into Mingus' Gently-Used Furniture store. Oh dear. Why won't he be kind?
homestarrunner.com [homestarrunner.com] - Now a pay service.
whirlpool.net.au [whirlpool.net.au] - Australia's biggest Luddite to head Australia's largest telco
theregister.co.uk [theregister.co.uk] - Bush twins to join Air Force tech unit in Iraq
creativebits.org [creativebits.org] - Site purchased by Microsoft
ocremix.org [ocremix.org] - Now partnered with EA (or something like that). Called EA ReMix.
spacedaily.com [spacedaily.com] - Bush Cancels Space Shuttle Program
planet.gnome.org [gnome.org] - Switched sites with planet.kde.org
planet.kde.org [kde.org] - Switched sites with planet.gnome.org
ietf.org [ietf.org] - RFC: Efficient Transformation Formats of Unicode
beejaysworld.de [beejaysworld.de] - Gentoo dropping livecds for x86
nature.com [nature.com] - Apollo bacteria spur lunar erosion
antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov [nasa.gov] - Water On Mars

haha

[aldousd666]

I knew I missed something about this article... the fact that it's April 1 seems to have eluded me until now.

Re:it's a joke..right?

[FidelCatsro]

I hope its a joke since i just made a very public statment saying if it wasn't I would eat my mac , I know its small and everything but silicon is really hard to digest

Re:it's a joke..right?

[Daytona955i]

that and things you say on slashdot are legally binding.

Re:it's a joke..right?

[ediron2]

It's too bad April 1st couldn't fall tomorrow so we could lose an hour of it and only endure 23 hours of hell on Slashdot instead of 24.

Tomorrow? Saturday? I think you meant Sunday. Oh, and you get your wish in 2007, 2012, 2018, 2029.

Re:Gmail

[zaxios]

You're getting 2GB [techworld.com]. And Google have added [google.com] a raft of new features.

I like this:

Gmail turns 1 today. And we've always loved a good joke. We know we won't reach infinity, but check out what we will do ...

Ah, Google, that endearingly rascally but ultimately inoffensive jokester!

Re:Children net loss

[grammar fascist]

You can count yourself lucky actually making a net gain, not 100 000 dollar loss, as most parents suffer ;-)

Speaking as a parent of 2 39/40ths children: it's worth every penny.

Re:expensive

[generic-man]

Yes, in America. If you outsource all the child-rearing to India, you can get a child educated and reared for only $3,000.

Re:expensive

[Lehk228]

or you could just not feed it right and save a ton on groceries.