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Gallery of the Lamest Technology Mascots Ever 246

Posted by CmdrTaco from the some-surprises dept.
Wired has a gallery of their Lamest Technology Mascots which features some trollish links including Tux and a certain adorable devil. Also featured is the old Java mascot Duke which I always liked, and of course Clippy who these days pretty much exists only in cheesy Top X lists.
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Gallery of the Lamest Technology Mascots Ever More

Gallery of the Lamest Technology Mascots Ever

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  • Tux rocks (Score:5, Insightful)

    by jshriverWVU ( 810740 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:20AM (#18869231)
    No seriously Tux rocks :) *tossing some herring*

    • Yes he does rock... back and forth... (Score:4, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:32AM (#18869387)
      ...and on his hands and knees [linuxhotbox.com]
    • Indeed. How could they put Tux on the list without also including the hideous looking GNU gnu?

    • Re:Tux rocks (Score:5, Funny)

      by gad_zuki! ( 70830 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:03AM (#18869821)
      Tux is actually a very positive symbol. Its just a happy looking penguin.

      Funny how all these lists mention clippy, but never the gnu goat-thing. [infohelp.co.nz] It even has a smart-ass smirk on its face like it just finished 'flaming a noob' in a newsgroup.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Lehk228 ( 705449 )
        that "goat-thing" is a gnu, also known as a wildebeest

        • Re:Tux rocks (Score:5, Funny)

          by stuntpope ( 19736 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:43AM (#18870427)
          That was at least the second post here referring to it as a goat or goat-like thing. I don't get it. If Linux were called PENGUIN, would people be calling Tux "that tern-albatross-birdlike thing"?

          • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

            by elrous0 ( 869638 ) *
            A penguin is a lot more recognized than a gnu. Most people in the world have seen penguins in their lives (they're at almost every zoo now). And they've been featured in COUNTLESS documentaries, comic strips, cartoons, and in other pop culture venues.

            When is the last time you saw a documentary about gnu's, or saw a gnu exhibit at a zoo, or saw a cartoon about a gnu? Most people in the world have no fucking clue what a gnu even is.

            In other words: If you make a red panda your company mascot, don't complai

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by linvir ( 970218 )
        Don't forget the neckbeard.

    • Re:Tux rocks (Score:5, Insightful)

      by DrXym ( 126579 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @11:24AM (#18871031)
      The original Tux sucks because it looks fat, bored, lazy and apathetic and / or immensely stupid. It isn't even very eye catching. It really is not a good mascot. There are better drawings of Tux such as the Tux crystal version. The original should be dumped for one which is more attractive, mischievous and interesting.

      • Why I dislike Tux (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Dogtanian ( 588974 )
        Yep... I'd like to come out of the closet as a Linux user who doesn't like Tux at all.

        What annoys me is that I've never able to satisfactorily put my finger on exactly why I don't like it. Could it be:-

        1) Same pose, same expression. Never changes.
        2) Glassy-eyed vacant look.
        3) Use in certain contexts where it appears unprofessional?
        4) Too plasticky? Looks somewhat soulless, like a toy.
        5) Childish, but not really "cute".
        6) "looks fat, bored, lazy and apathetic and / or immensely stupid" (see parent

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Adhemar ( 679794 )

        The original Tux sucks because it looks fat, bored, lazy

        This [indiana.edu] is what Linus said on that subject back in May 1996:

        Now, with penguins, (cuddly such), "contented" means it has either just gotten laid, or it's stuffed on herring. Take it from me, I'm an expert on penguins, those are really the only two options.

        Now, working on that angle, we don't really want to be associated with a randy penguin (well, we do, but it's not politic, so we won't), so we should be looking at the "stuffed to its brim with herri

  • A list that overlooks the Pets.com sock puppet (Score:5, Interesting)

    by elrous0 ( 869638 ) * on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:20AM (#18869241)
    ...cannot be taken seriously. Come on, this thing was the unofficial symbol of the entire dot-com boom era, which subsequently made him the unofficial symbol of the dot-com bust. Not only that, but he was LAME. A *sock puppet* as a company mascot?!?!? Unless the "technology" you're promoting is a time machine to go back to 1970 and bring back Shari Lewis, you really should be considering a better mascot.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      I bet a lot of these would fall into a list of the 'Best Tech Mascots Ever'.

      Where the hell is Microsoft BOB?

    • Where are they now: the Pets.com sock puppet (Score:5, Funny)

      by coolGuyZak ( 844482 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:25AM (#18870173)

      *sniff*... I loved the Pets.com mascot. How could you not like this face [wikipedia.org]??

      Unfortunately, what Wikipedia doesn't cover is why pets.com ultimately failed. The sock puppet, like many celebrities, turned to hard narcotics after he lost his high of the .com era. This, combined with a heavy spat with Triumph the Wonder Dog, pulled the plug on his career. The puppet got so down and out that he almost sold his Timex collar, just for one last hit (either of the narcotics, or on Triumph's head). Luckily, he discovered the Hakan and Associates rehab center, whom made a vain attempt to rescue his career. Not much detail is provided about his 12-step sponsor, 1-800-BAR-NONE or their brief collaboration on car commercials. The Pets.com mascot dropped off of the public radar soon after those commercials.

      I heard from a friend that he's studying Buddhism under the Dalai Lama in Tibet in Exile. Apparently, His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso is training the Pets.com puppet to become a Lama who will wander the hills of Tibet looking for the yang srid. It is suggested that, due to resemblance of the Pets.com mascot to a childs toy, the 15th Lama may recognize the roaming monk as a good friend. Time will tell on that one though.

    • Besides, in the Internet context, sockpuppets are about making fake accounts and closely tied to astroturfing. So it's a poor choice for an Internet firm on more than one level.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_(Internet) [wikipedia.org]

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by fm6 ( 162816 )
      Thing is, the pets.com sock puppet was so popular, he outlasted the company the company that invented him. You still seem him in ads now and then. He even wrote a book [amazon.com].

      Now, I personally hate cutesy mascots. When I was helping revise the Java Tutorial, I wanted to barf every time I saw Duke. But there's no denying that they can be effective. Obnoxious marketing is often effective marketing, because it registers.

      Also, you're overlooking the fact that deliberate irony is all the rage these days, not least in a

  • Gallery: Most Well-Known Technology Mascots Ever (Score:5, Informative)

    by brunascle ( 994197 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:26AM (#18869299)
    the only mascot i can think of that isnt on this list is Konqi [wikipedia.org].

    and tux is not lame. them's fightin words.

  • Recursive (Score:5, Funny)

    by tttonyyy ( 726776 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:28AM (#18869325) Homepage Journal
    I would love to add this gallery to my "Gallery of Lamest Galleries Ever", but it stack overflowed when someone submitted it to itself.

    • This gallery was hyper-lame. It's like they took the only mascots they could even think of, and said, "Oh ha ha, look it's a dog/bird/cat! So lame!" There was zero wit and zero entertainment value. I feel less funny having read it.

      Seriously, this was lamer than a fart at a funeral.

  • Steve "The Dancing Bear" Ballmer (Score:5, Funny)

    by Neferkara ( 531096 ) <seqenenra&hotmail,com> on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:30AM (#18869359)
    Why isn't he on the list?

    • Re:Steve "The Dancing Bear" Ballmer (Score:5, Funny)

      by Opportunist ( 166417 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:55AM (#18869715)
      He's no mascot, he's just the poster child.

      Also, the butterfly MS used to have as their mascot for MSN isn't lame. It was one of the few honest moves from MS to use a bug as the icon for one of their services.

      • Re:Steve "The Dancing Bear" Ballmer (Score:4, Funny)

        by TheRaven64 ( 641858 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:20AM (#18870081) Journal
        I loved the way (in the UK), the MSN adverts used to use 'Homeward Bound' as the music. The line 'every word comes back to me, in shades of mediocrity, like emptiness in harmony' really summed up Microsoft well for me.
        • Not to worry. Here in the US we had to go through endless repetitions of "Start Me Up" for the Windows 95 launch.

          Really, does anyone at Microsoft actually listen to the lyrics of their theme songs? Nothing more fitting than "you'd make a grown man cry" is there? And lets not even touch the family unfriendly rest of the lyrics.

          Maybe somebody in Microsoft marketing has a better sense of humor than typically given credit for. It would explain a few things.

  • So I clicked through the whole list, and #11 is a car ad for me. Summary should read top 14 lame-o mascots. Though if they included the standard alternates to Clippy (I have no idea what the planet, cat, and dog are named) they could bump the list up a bit.

    At any rate, I thought I'd point out that ; winner gets a Wii. [rootly.com]

  • Here's one (Score:5, Funny)

    by cordsie ( 565171 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:32AM (#18869399)
    I always thought this guy [wikipedia.org] was one of the scarier technology mascots out there.

    Wait, you mean that's not a guy in a rubber suit?

  • I just realized some extent of my own prejudice (Score:3, Funny)

    by erroneus ( 253617 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:34AM (#18869425) Homepage
    I'm not a BSD user because in my mind, the connection to BSoD (Blue Screen of Death) is too close. The devil icon doesn't help the death image even if the devil isn't blue. Is that a horrible reason not to use BSD or what?
    • FWIW, the BSD Daemon didn't make the list. Hexley the platypus did, but they kinda failed on their explanation. The horn hat and pitchfork are there as symbols of BSD heritage.
  • http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=121338473& context=photostream&size=l [flickr.com]

    a photo taken at a sun java party in santa clara. (papa java can be seen in the photo, too)

    duke is REAL ;)

  • Futaba channel (Score:5, Informative)

    by Turn-X Alphonse ( 789240 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:36AM (#18869451) Journal
    Finally a use for my knowledge of useless Japanese image boards!

    Number 10 is the OS-Tans which spawned from 2ch (and Futaba, the image board connected to the forms known as 2channel, or 2ch for short). Each edition of windows has a linked character (I haven't seen Vista though) which links to the OS's "quirks". For example XP is a very smart girl who takes care of the rest (a well rounded OS basicly) where as ME is a complete idiot known for weilding leaks and doing the dumbest things she can. The OS-tans became so popular (even to the point of a magazine in Japan stealing their designs and using them without the original authors permission and hence being boycotted by many 2ch users) that other software started to get their own characters.

    These range from Norton (who is a perverted old doctor) to the Mac girl (who likes to blow things up). As time goes by these girls all seem to remain popular and have become a solid part of the Japanese image board culture. It's very rarely to check the Futaba art boards (Oekaki and self made) without seeing at least once OS-tan pop up some where.

    The author doesn't seem to have much of a clue about the girls and their characters, it's just shooting in the dark at "mascots" when the original author has suggested no such thing. Infact the original character designs are pretty much as open source as you can be with character designs, you can do what you like with them as long as you don't make a profit and don't try to claim you made them/not give credit to the mass community).

    People looking for the OS-tans can try Futaba at http://www.2chan.net/ [2chan.net] , you are most likely to see them on the random boards, the main 2 of which are on the third row 2 down ( and :P ). Be warned it is NOT work safe and you can see ANYTHING (from dead babies to hentai and a mix of both together). Unless you have a .jp IP or are using a proxy you may not post on the site, this is because when people have been given access people have abused it (4chan /b/ users spam the board with racism and such if they find a proxy), so you can just view not take part to those outside Japan.
    • I think there is an anime or two that uses the OStan designs, I think it might be Popotan or Nurse Witch Komugi. Maybe the magazine that ran the manga version is who you are referencing, but I really don't know, but that example was a lot more of an homage/reference than just a rip-off.
    • Gallery of Vista-tan [kazumi386.org]
      There are two competing designs for her, but the screw-in-head exotic girl seems to have won.
  • Strangely compelling indeed. But they didn't have a "cool" mascot list this issue so they put them in the "lame" mascot list... What the fuck is Wired, PC Gamer now?
    Click here for more OS-TAN goodness [wakachan.org] (SFW)
    Original Japanese site [infoseek.co.jp] (some links inside NSFW)

    • ...than fetishizing operating systems with cute or sexy girls.
      The OS-tan thing is just a bit of otaku-dom that I have just never been able to understand.
      • The good people of iiitran have been translating them as fast as they can for some time now. Take a current event (pick a headline from it.slashdot.org), mix with a 4-koma format, shake, enjoy.

        And I wouldn't call it fetishism. I mean... take XP Home. She's been reinvented into a lecherous, track-suit wearing, yaoi-fanficion writing spinster who can't help but corrupt her younger brother.

        That's not fetisihm, that's characterization (lol) :-/
  • Lame? Dogcow was proof to the 14-year-old-me that Apple was the coolest software company out there.

  • Ya gotta love (Score:5, Funny)

    by $RANDOMLUSER ( 804576 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:39AM (#18869485)
    The Wikipedia mascot entry [wired.com], which is really two mascot candidates, includes this memorable phrase:

    As for a final choice, it's been slow death by consensus for several years.
    Was there ever a better description of Wikipedia?

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Knuckles ( 8964 )
      Was there ever a better description of Wikipedia?

      "The free encyclopedia that anyone can edit."? Especially since Wikipedia certainly does not die.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Otter ( 3800 )
      You missed the real best line in that item which is:

      Verdict: Go with the centipede -- he's a tenured professor of religion!
      At any rate, while I agree that Clippy is irritating (although not nearly as bad as the breakdancing Mac SE in Mac Office 6, or whatever it was), I've always been fond of the kitten...

  • i can take the kharma hit but... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by TinBromide ( 921574 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:41AM (#18869507)
    After using linux on my desktop and getting minimal support for my non big guy video card (kyroII) and a few other issues that 2 months of my best searching, poking, installing, uninstalling, untarring, posting, and breaking couldn't fix a few years back, I came to realize WHY linux's mascot was a penguin -

    And this is sure to get me modded down for flaming, trolling, etc, but its a joke...

    Either installing and configuring linux was like an expedition to a cold, stark, barren wasteland, or using it was like living there...

    One little aside, my little adventure with linux 5-6 years ago taught me that in order to use a non mainstream OS, you needed to use mainstream hardware... Odd, eh?

    Or at least code drivers yourself.

  • GNU Goat? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Himring ( 646324 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:49AM (#18869627) Homepage Journal
    No GNU Goat? I'm most certain this will get modding troll or w/e, but I love the free movement and always thought that goat was ill-conceived....

    • Re:GNU Goat? (Score:5, Funny)

      by $RANDOMLUSER ( 804576 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @09:54AM (#18869705)
      Whoooosh [wikipedia.org]
    • Someone didn't grow up with the Great Space Coaster... : p

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Himring ( 646324 )
        Yes. I made a geek mistake in the middle of geek city. I honestly, and truly, never correlated the fact that the GNU mascot was, indeed, a wildebeest. I had even, in the past, remember reading the page on the creation of the image:

        http://www.gnu.org/graphics/agnuhead.html [gnu.org]

        But, I believe thought every mention of "GNU" meant the software. I have never realized -- until today -- that a wildebeest was also called a "gnu" (pronounced "nu"?!?).

        What more can I say? I do apologize. I find the liquid v
  • wtf is that damn annoying lame Windows XP search dog.

    I'm pretty sure there are more than 16 technology mascots (these 15 plus the BSD devil), and I can't imagine those are all much better than Tux, Duke, Glenda or Mozilla.
    • The Windows XP search dog has to be the worst interface EVER. Almost all of the searches I do are the same: I pretty much always want to search the entire hard drive for a file by name. This stupid piece of crap interface you have to click on the line indicating you want to search for files by name every time. It is a lot of extra work.
      • I agree, Windows XP search sucks something awful and not just the interface.

        I actually wrote my own search program because I hated XP search so much. And I ain't much of a programmer.
        Of course I did have to add regex.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by SQLGuru ( 980662 )
      Dr. Watson anyone? He was a "friend" of mine who visted me often.

      Layne
  • Hey buddy! How about that lovable purple gorilla from Bonzai Software [wikipedia.org]?
    • We're doing the lamest mascots today. Come again when we're doing the most-annoying-worth-dropping-a-plane-on list.

  • Ack (Score:2)

    by DrSkwid ( 118965 )
    I'm getting a Glenda tattoo later in the year, oh no, now Wired thinks she's lame!
  • Really... that Adobe jester is horrible. Impressive, but repulsive. Another "what were they thinking?" moment.
  • Where's the flying toasters? I remember the first time I saw them. I was 12 and I still thought it was lame.
  • I just want to point out that Renee French [reneefrench.com], the cartoonist responsible for Glenda the Plan 9 bunny, is a goddess.

  • You may enjoy this list of mascots (Score:3, Interesting)

    by ribuck ( 943217 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:02AM (#18869815)
    You may enjoy the list of mascots at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mascots [wikipedia.org]
    • yes, and note that the good mascots are very simple. Many of the tech mascots are overly detailed (like glenda? oh my goodness!). For making something recognizable and memorable, detail is bad. Clippy actually might have been good had he not been inextricably linked to useless "help".

      Tux seems to be like a perfect mascot. The author mostly took issue with the creepy empty stare that he has. Well, who can disagree? But then again, who looks mascots in the eye? Also, Larry the Cow is a good mascot. S
  • As noted by my url :)

    But to discuss this article, it's nice to see that WIred I first read all those years ago is dead now. To call Clarus or Tux or Hexley or Mozilla "lame", considering what they mean - the history and creativity behind the characters - is completely non-geek, non-tech... tired, as they would say.

  • Duke = Ouija Planchette (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Neon Spiral Injector ( 21234 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:05AM (#18869859)
    I always thought Duke resembled an Ouija planchette.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by ettlz ( 639203 )

      I always thought Duke resembled an Ouija planchette.
      Well if BSD ever needs a new logo... [Ducks]

  • Missing the wider picture... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by LighterShadeOfBlack ( 1011407 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:09AM (#18869915) Homepage
    ...which is that all computing mascots suck. The whole concept sucks. Unless the target audience of your software is young children, cutesy mascots are just stupid and annoying. A decent logo is useful for branding and recognition of your software, that's fine. But some stupid character to try and create some bizzare link in people's heads between your office software/OS/web browser and some "loveable" creature strikes me as incredibly pointless and just a little bit desperate.

    "Sure, on the outside we're a multi-national billion-dollar corporation but, as this green koala clearly shows, on the inside we live in a playful world of whimsy with chocolate hills and marshmallow clouds."
    Give me a break
    • You're not in marketing are you? You probably don't own a television either since you don't recognize the power of graphics and silly characters in branding a product.

      Geico Gecko
      Budweiser Frogs (and equally successful ferret campaign)
      Wendy's Raccoons
      MetLife and Snoopy ...

      Advertising isn't about logic. You're not twiddling bits in your customers' heads. It's about visceral associations and name recognition. Some are clever, some are funny, some are moronic, some are annoying; the point is you remember th
      • Do you honestly think anyone decided to buy Microsoft Office because of Clippy? If anything it was a negative association. If you remember Clippy you probably only remember how much you wanted him to be real so you could kill him.

        Do you think anyone uses BSD or Linux because of the daemon and Tux mascots? Or that anyone remembers the products any better because of them?

        What works in one area doesn't necessarily work in another. As I said, strong branding and recognition are important. Mascots don't do that
  • I cannot believe "KickTam" didn't make the list. He/she was so lame, Apple dropped by it after a very short time.

    Chris Adamson mentions him at the end of this article [oreillynet.com] and links to this Apple dev page [apple.com] for a picture.

    The name "KickTam" came from a developer's young child who couldn't say "QuickTime" properly.

    While these other mascots may score between 3 and 7 on the lameness meter, KickTam was an 11.
  • The fact that Becker gets tux wrong says a lot. Back in the mid 90's, we were looking at sharks and other fearsome creatures, when it was Tove (his wife) who suggested the penguin. It was because her then husband had been bit on the nose by a penguin at a petting zoo. Linus really was not wild about it, but the idea carried through. Personally, I like Tux.
  • When in doubt "Go with the centipede -- he's a tenured professor of religion!"

  • Clippy is still around (Score:3, Funny)

    by Sir Holo ( 531007 ) * on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @10:41AM (#18870393)
    CmdrTaco said: ...and of course Clippy who these days pretty much exists only in cheesy Top X lists.

    Sadly, I still see Clippy every day on the monitor of a couple of the secretaries in my workplace.
  • Tux is adorable! why is it in there?

    On the other hand, when I saw clippy, I felt my skin crawling back and forth...
  • What about the Happy MAC startup icon/mascot? http://www.apple.com/downloads/dashboard/justforfu n/happymacandfriends.html [apple.com]
    or the accompanying 'sad mac' (system error) mascot/icon? http://www.answers.com/topic/sad-mac-png [answers.com]
    • TFA is titled "Lamest Technology Mascots" and most of the listed fit the bill - the mac icons on the other hand don't make the list because they're most likely on the "Coolest Technology Mascots" list. Don't be so eager to join something for the sake of it.

      My personal fav is the quark alien, he didn't make the list, which is fine, because I think its cool.
  • Purple Octopus named Gooey. Seriously.

    http://www.plainblack.com/mascot [plainblack.com]
  • Geeko [susewiki.org] was the SuSE mascot. In the boxed version, there used to be various Geeko-branded swag included: stickers, badges, etc. When Novell bought SuSE, they tried to Get Hip to What The Kids Were doing With Linux [itmedia.co.jp] , but that all seems to have gone quiet now: cartoonish mascots don't win you contracts with banks.

    So Geeko was banished to OpenSuSE.org [opensuse.org], to make way for the new Mono-ized Clippy from their new pals in Redmond. Netcraft confirms it.

  • What is he, some kind of anthropomorphic Ouija Board pointer? I remember wondering that when I first saw the Java AWT demos.

  • v/Bear Lame?!? (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Sounder40 ( 243087 ) * on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @11:22AM (#18870985)
    The v/Bear [wired.com] is lame?!? I think not! The v/Bear was the creation of VMSG, a fantastic software house in the 80's and 90's that produced excellent products for the various flavors of the IBM VM operating system, (also known as VM/SP, VM/XA, VM/ESA and now zVM). The v/Bear sort of became the unofficial symbol of the VM community. VM system programmers hung out on the VMSHARE bulletin board and shared tips long before newsgroups became popular. We were a real community.

    Hey, this was a great operating system for its day, and you should all know something about it. Take a look at Melinda Varian's excellent paper [princeton.edu] (PDF warning) on the history of the great operating system. Twenty years ago, I was running VM systems that ran 20 to 40 mainframe guest operating systems, long before VMware and Xen. VM still has the best implementation of Unix pipes I've ever seen.

    I still miss VM and the v/Bear, though I have one on my car's keyfob...

  • What? No Digital Doofus? [cox.com]

  • Bonzi Buddy? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by DeadboltX ( 751907 ) on Wednesday April 25, 2007 @12:20PM (#18871775)
    Does Bonzi Buddy [wikipedia.org] count as a mascot?
    Although not quite as notorious as Clippy (but probably close) I think this one definitely ranked higher on the "annoying" chart

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