How To Have an Online Social Life When You're Dead 187
A wave of new companies are springing up to offer such things as virtual cemeteries, alerts to remind loved ones about the anniversary of your death, and even email services that send an alert to your sinful relatives in danger of being left behind when the Rapture carries you away. "People have a desire to perpetuate not only for themselves, but for their loved ones, the story of their lives, and technology has all these new great ways of doing that," said John McQueen, owner of the Anderson McQueen funeral home.
Well I Don't Want Anything WEIRD (Score:5, Funny)
Netcraft Confirms It (Score:5, Funny)
Your son is dead.
(Click here to stop receiving these notifications)
Maybe (Score:2, Funny)
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Re:Maybe (Score:5, Insightful)
Sounds to me like they want to perpetuate the mourning process in order to assuage their own fear of death. I've seen people do some rather odd things because they, on some level, could not come to terms with their own mortality; this is tame compared to some. However, this may not be a gift to the loved ones at all; it very well may be a selfish burden. It's selfish because there is an (unstated) assumption in it that everyone's mourning process is the same and is compatible with this idea. Making assumptions like that about such personal matters seems to me like very poor taste. If that compatibility doesn't describe the bereaved then they may be placed in the unenviable position of disliking this service while at the same time feeling guilty about rejecting it. Besides, calling them "loved ones" implies that you and what you stood for are not so easily forgotten in their hearts and minds.
I'm not saying this is necessarily a terrible idea, but I think it's rather unnecessary. Certainly it should be done with a great deal of forethought and an awareness of these potential problems.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I look at this a bit differently. I recently had a friend that died quite unexpectedly, at 20 years old. Basically, he went into his room one day, and never came back out. Facebook has been an invaluable resource. Since his death, thousands of pictures and stories have been posted that really filled in some memories of someone that I'll never see again. Personally, I don't go to funerals or any of that other stuff, because I feel like all you end up remembering is how bad that was, instead of how good
They have that... (Score:3, Interesting)
Here http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3145432 [1up.com]
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Actually, the corp I belong to in EVE Online had a memorial to a former member who had died in real life (December 2007). He was notorious for screwing around, so in his memory, a group of about 200 people got themselves CONCORDed.
RIP xxthaproducerxx
creep out your enemys (Score:5, Funny)
you could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
still just knowing ahead of time. :-D
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ou could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
Because you are too busy digging out the firepits of hell?
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you could really creep out your enemys after you're gone, but you wouldn't be able to enjoy it.
still just knowing ahead of time. :-D
That gives me an idea. Delayed emails that do not get sent until after my death. Someone alerts the company, and they send out the emails. they can say creepy things like, "Hello, son. This is your father. God killed me to punish you for whacking off in the bathroom" or "Too dead to cook? Come in to Chilli's for some baby back ribs!"
Been done (Score:3, Informative)
"That gives me an idea. Delayed emails that do not get sent until after my death. "
It's been done.
http://www.deadmansswitch.net/ [deadmansswitch.net]
My condolences (Score:2, Funny)
No e-life after death but obits are moving online (Score:3, Interesting)
Sites like tributes.com [slashdot.org] are popping up to make the death experience more facebook-compatible.
Online guest books, youtube videos, massive databases of the dead, etc.
It makes sense given the decline of the newspaper and the traditional paper obit.
bad enough (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:bad enough (Score:5, Insightful)
Bits don't decompose, you can't eat them, and they don't burn. In cyberspace, bodies last forever.
FOREVER
Re:bad enough (Score:4, Funny)
In my experience, they last ten minutes. Less than that if you do your corpse run.
Re: (Score:2)
Especially with archive.org out there.
Re: Cyber decomposition (Score:2)
See Geocities.
Re:bad enough (Score:5, Funny)
Unless a bad system admin loses your body and forgot to make backups.
I can see it now, "Mrs. Smith, I'm sorry to have to tell you that your beloved John has been formatted and then written over. Along with our heart felt condolences, please accept this virtual urn containing the error codes we encountered while trying to retrieve him..."
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Bad enough we have all those dead bodies cluttering up meatspace.
Are you by any chance browsing /. from inside a warzone? Or are you some type of murderer? I really haven't ever had a problem with cluttering of dead bodies. In real life. "Bad enough" seems an odd phrase. Are you suggesting that we have a real lack of graveyard space? Where exactly?
As for cyberspace dead body cluttering, I always liked humorous tombstones in Oregon Trail. Sure, everyone put "Peperoni" because of that commercial at the time.
Step in the wrong direction (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Step in the wrong direction (Score:5, Insightful)
This sort of e-memorial stuff is, in my opinion, stupid, because online stuff tends to be transitory("Yes, father, this webpage shall be your testament unto the last of days, or until some idiotic Bubble 2.0 firm blows their VC money.") and shallow("OMG, I can give facebook user "Grandpa's grave" a purple heart if I add the greatestgeneration_nostalgia app!"); but it isn't fundamentally different than the meatspace stuff, beyond the air of crassness that takes a while to wear off any new custom.
+1 Insightful (Score:2)
...and I'm just fresh out of mod points. >_
Well, let this be in lieu of a +1 Insightful.
Re:Step in the wrong direction (Score:4, Funny)
"To my darling wife... You haven't thought about me today at all, have you? Already hard at work on you next husband, I see? It's ok, you'll be joining me here soon enough, you heartless bitch"!
Re: (Score:2)
Hi kids,
Mommy killed me because I found out her secret. Watch your backs, and don't ask her about Vegas.
Dad.
...wants to be your friend (Score:5, Funny)
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Nothing is wrong with that.
This is how I'll get my revenge on the grandkids who were too busy playing video games and frequenting social networking sites to come visit me in the assisted living facilty.
Since I don't expect to be able to use a computer once I've passed, I can haunt them (and their thankless parents who though their only responsibility was to send a check to the old-aged home every month) where th
Problematic (Score:5, Funny)
How do you kill that which has no life?
Re:Problematic (Score:5, Informative)
Shotgun blast to the head has always worked for me.
A stake through the heart? (Score:2)
How do you kill that which has no life?
Well, it always seemed to work for Buffy and her pals.
And in the case of this miserable "invention," I guess a "stake through the server" might work.
If not, try the "stake through the heart" pattern, with the owner of the "virtual cemetery."
Left Behind... (Score:5, Funny)
This site [youvebeenleftbehind.com], mentioned in the article, is particularly hilarious. I like how the way they know the rapture has happened is based on if enough devout christians they've hired to login everyday don't. It'd be cute if those people just lost internet access and everything were sent out early... or would that cause the RAPTURE? ;)
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Yeah, no kidding. I mean, it's not like they're coming after you for scamming them if they get whisked away to Jesus-topia.
If they're wrong, there's no reason to actually have a system in place--but if they're right, there's still no reason to have a system in place.
Free money (well, there's the cost of the website to sell the service and a fake "login if the rapture hasn't happened yet" thingy, but it's practically free)
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Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
It'd be cute if those people just lost internet access and everything were sent out early... or would that cause the RAPTURE? ;)
Better yet, what would the remaining users do with the knowledge that the rapture came, but they weren't taken?
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In the last year there was an episode of Law & Order named"Rapture" [blogspot.com] where something like this happens. One of three Christians who were supposed to log in didn't due to losing internet access, another of course because he was murdered. So, in the world of the show, emails were sent that were not supposed to be until after the rapture.
Re: (Score:2)
In the last year there was an episode of Law & Order named"Rapture" [blogspot.com] where something like this happens. One of three Christians who were supposed to log in didn't due to losing internet access, another of course because he was murdered. So, in the world of the show, emails were sent that were not supposed to be until after the rapture.
Obviously the IT person didn't understand RAID well enough.
This is really insulting! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:This is really insulting! (Score:5, Funny)
And thus with the outing of the last respected Slashdot community luminary as a LARPer, Slashdot began its quick plunge into irrelevance.
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"How dare you imply that the undead do not have a social life!!"
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce - <tisk> <tisk> <tisk>
How callous of you, to use such a bigoted term.
They prefer "Living-impaired" or "alternately-metabolized".
(OT: Are you going to Dayton?)
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Everyone knows that vampires are anti-social creatures, as evidenced by them normally only being encountered in groups of 1 (as per the original Monster Manual).
If you really want to take up the cause of the undead being social creatures, perhaps you should stick to skeletons (2d6, IIRC) or ghouls (2d4, again IIRC).
Now excuse me while I seek shelter from the hordes of slashdotters who have their 1st edition AD&D books handy and can correct my foggy memories.
Re: (Score:2)
I hunt your kind.
Sincerely,
Van Helsing
Petty (Score:5, Insightful)
My father just died on the 5th and I'm still torn over it, but the idea of... whatever the Hell this is supposed to be is just downright hilarious.
I miss him and he'll forever be in my thoughts, I won't need reminders of when he died or an artificial ghost of him to haunt the internet with.
Re: (Score:2)
Slightly off subject, but I saw a car a few days ago that had one of this "in memory of" sticker in the window, and a for sale sign on the other side. Now I wonder how weird it would be to be the next person who bought that car. You'd better believe I would scrape that thing off.
Re: (Score:2)
Exactly what I was thinking as my wife of 38 years passed away last month.
However, because she was a regular commenter at many sites, had gmail, yahoo and other online accounts and was an online researcher for a law firm, there are many bits and pieces of her thoughts out there already.
and how's the Betamax dispensing tombstone doing? (Score:2)
Unless it's got a perpetual display or something visible on the stone, technology is going to leave the dead behind in just a few short years. Maybe an ethernet jack on the casket pumping out basic/standard HTML over HTTP might remain viable for a few decades but even then, you'd better set it up on IPv6.
LoB
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
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Hey, Betamax isn't dead; It lives in my apartment. Seriously though, the Internet truly is the graveyard of technology. Where else could you find someone who offers Betamax cleaning instructions and repair service? Hang in there Superbeta HiFi!
Technology graveyard and technology necromancer's laboratory! The internet has everything!
Re: (Score:2)
The relevant question... (Score:5, Funny)
The relevant question is: will these post-mortem emails have an unsubscribe link?
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Subject: Don't forget to bring flowers this year!
X-Message-Classification: Spam
X-Spam-Category: The Dead
Re: (Score:2)
Nope, you'd get your grumpy old granny back. Only, her room at the home seems to have be somehow given to someone else in the meantime ... see the catch?
Good idea (Score:3, Interesting)
If you really have to go a particular place in order to remember your dead grandparents, it seems better to visit places where they lived, where you actually have memories of them alive. In any case, since 82% of Americans [theledger.com] believe that their dead relatives are actually still alive, seems more "logical" (in a demented sort of way) to visit a psychic or something.
Re: (Score:2)
That's faith
That'd be heresy.
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Visiting a home is kind of odd since other people will live there. And if someone was on my front lawn crying and putting flowers on it I'd be freaked the fuck out.
Anyways visiting graves is more of a social obligation. It serves no purpose other than to prove to yourself and others that you are fulfilling your duty of grief. Or it can serve as a triggering mechanism. When you make yourself emotional and visit the grave which is a VISCE
Re: (Score:2, Interesting)
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The whole custom of periodically visiting the graves of your loved ones always seemed puzzling to me. What exactly are you visiting and why? If you can do it online that much less hassle I guess.
You might want to ask a psychologist and/or psychiatrist about that. They'll give you much better answers than what you'll get here.
RE: Death (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not dead (Score:3, Funny)
I'm feeling better..... really
No your not, your dead.
Haunt (Score:2, Funny)
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
To: My Stupid-ass Kin
From: Your Vengeful Relative
Subject: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Dear Weaselly Bastards,
If you're reading this, I'm dead. Since I'm sure you're all feeling really bad about treating me so rotten (especially you, Uncle Phil, for not lending me 5 grand for that Camaro), but I'd like to take this opportunity to rub it all in by hiring this company to Internet stalk you forever. Every birthday, holiday and anniversary of my untimely demise, this company will send you insulting messages reminding you of how great I was, and how deficient you all were (excluding Cousin Sally, who always put out for me, oops, that was our little secret).
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
And in-between it will send you info on how to make your penis larger and how to get that 49.000.000 MBP my executor is protecting from the Kenyan government out of the country. You didn't know I was so rich (in both departments), did you?
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It's good to see that Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged [hhgproject.org] has started a company.
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That would be kinda' cool, setting up a personal spamming service. Enter in all that nice relevant relative data, figure out what kind of spam to send (or be cool and send real porn and torrent) and set it spinning. If you're really good, install root kits on their systems (they were always asking you for help, right?) and really mess with 'em. Ooh, I hope they have a smart house!
I did this years ago. (Score:5, Funny)
This is pretty old stuff. Just before I died I configured a server to send out updates of my status and opinions to various online sites like Fark and Slashdot. It even alters the content based on the site. For Fark, it takes into account my general state of decay and runs the algorythm to come up with just the right level of troll and anti-social behavior.
For Slashdot, it takes the measurements from my corpse and runs it through a similar algorithm that pulls in the date, the most recently updated wikipedia entry, and combines the information from "Define:" google searches and returns the result.
So far the results have been promising. My Fark Algorythm has succeeded in broadcasting just the right amount of vile comments to hook a few responders and my Slashdot Algorithm has reposted just the right amount of plagiarized wikipedia entries to earn me enough "Insightful/Informative" comments to earn me enough karma for a comforable after-net-life.
Don't think I've forgotten about power. I requested that I be burried next to Edward R. Murrow and that a few loops be placed around his grave. With a simple RSS feed to our current 'news' sites like Fox, CNN, etc. I think this server is set to run into the next millenium.
Re:I did this years ago. (Score:5, Funny)
algorythm
algorithm
Algorythm
Algorithm
Your Algorithm seems to misspell "algorithm" as "algorythm" whenever it is referring to Fark, but not Slashdot. I think you should debug it.
I died
oh, shi- ... nevermind.
Re: (Score:2)
Your Algorithm seems to misspell "algorithm" as "algorythm" whenever it is referring to Fark, but not Slashdot. I think you should debug it.
Comment excerpt:
It would be interesting to succeed in a posthumous Turing test. I should probably include a method for inserting puns into my comments for the occasional +5 funny moderation.
pps:
When a -1 Troll/flamebait mod is due, mention that you applied for a patent of that method.
Re: (Score:2)
At least you don't have to pay your rent... (Score:2)
Oh wait...
http://www.kenoshanews.com/news/landlord_demands_dead_victims_late_rent_fees_4821831.html [kenoshanews.com]
Hmm.. (Score:2)
This actually sounds like a decent idea. I mean it could be just a little online shrine to the person with a short bio, and maybe some genealogy stuff in there. If it was tastefully done, it could be o.k. The big thing on this though is setting up something like this in advance of your life or you'd have to depend on others to set up something that you may not think is tasteful.
I'm not big on to the whole on line social life, but I wouldn't mind something like this for friends and family to click on once a
So, set up an incredible simulation (Score:2)
Or you could just take a video of yourself while you are alive, stitch together a few key phases, set up a Flash applet, and have a real remembrance.
"Yes. It's Wonderful. Isn't it."
(Mods: If you don't place the quote, turn in your Geek cards.)
Re: (Score:2)
Dang it, I was going to do that MH reference. That was the very first thing I thought of. That show once again paves the way for reality.
When MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter isn't enough. (Score:2)
As if we don't have enough reaffirmation going on in Cyberspace already (Fail Whale anyone?), we really need this e-afterlife?
Not sure what our Internet founders are pondering over more, stuff like this, or the fact that online porn was the real reason broadband was invented...
If you truly want to remember a loved one, just unplug and close your eyes for a minute or two. Good memories of loved ones have a way of coming back on their own with very little help.
What this is really for... (Score:2)
Too bad DVD Jon didn't think of doing posthumuous publication, altho
Ben Teague (Score:3, Interesting)
How odd that this story would come up today.
Ben wasn't my uncle for long, and I didn't know him well, but we lost him on Saturday in the most senseless [ajc.com] way. My other uncle, who knew him since childhood, posted a tribute to him on his blog. [blogspot.com]
I only met Ben once, when my grandfather married his mother, but I could tell he was a great guy then. I wasn't the only one. [redandblack.com] Why people have to die like this is beyond me, but at least now more people can know who Ben was, and what he meant to his community.
Social Life?!? (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Unfortunately rigor mortis only lasts a few hours, so you'll have to be quick about it.
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This is just stupid (Score:5, Insightful)
Great Idea (Score:2, Funny)
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Make sure you loudly and frequently explain your 'not-quite live, from the coffin' webcam feature, that when you click the link, just shows an empty coffin interior with a note:
"I'll be back...soon" or something.
They have this 20 Minutes into the Future (Score:2, Interesting)
There was this sort of thing in an episode of Max Headroom, where you could leave a few videos of yourself for your loved ones to interact. Of course, the implementation was backed by a corrupt industrialist, who had coin slots on the interaction kiosks, soaking people for their cash.
Hopefully in our world Edison Carter will be there to right the wrongs this new technology will cause.
Once Again Slashdot Misses the Boat (Score:2)
Now THIS is the kind of quality article that should go in IDLE and all those "two headed hamsters with mirco implants" stories should be dumped.
At last! (Score:2)
A social life for /. readers! Now we all just have to die. I'll call Al up and see if he has any Internet Kool-Aid[tm]. He invented that, you know!
Let me be the first to tag this... (Score:2)
diealready
Youtube? (Score:2)
Seeing this makes me wonder if people put their suicide notes on Youtube. I'd feel bad for the family that would have to read those comments.
Daemon (Score:2)
That's nothing compared to what Matthew Sobel pulled off...
Wonderful. Now you can spam from beyond the grave. (Score:2)
And I thought zombie computers were bad. Now we have computer-assisted zombie people.
Hmmm... Might be a B-movie in that. Zombies animated by BORG-style computers rather than supernatural spells, bioweapons, badly programmed nanobot body-repair systems, ...
This is sick (Score:2)
How does email make that any different? A sick idea is still a sick idea.
Eternal September all over again (Score:2)
First it was the AOL users who invaded the Internet. Now the dead are going to haunt us online also? I miss the good old days when AOL users were locked behind their walled garden and the dead didn't twitter about their decomposition.
A chance to profit and do good (Score:2)
Wrong pic for the story, (Score:2)
Here lies Sally.
Died of Dysentery.
Cyber Zombies (Score:2)
Actually I died in November 2004. I invented an AI Robot to post for me on Slashdot and other web sites for me, based on the data I uploaded to my computer about my personality.
Now, people like me, Orion Blastar, can live on forever using the Cyber Zombies services out there to keep our friends, family, and enemies, updated of our existence after death.
Oh yeah, for those sinners out there, repent, or you'll end up in Hell. Just a little reminder of my preaching from beyond the grave, muahahahaahah!
Hello, My Name Is (Score:3, Funny)
Hello,
My name is Maybelle Mongumbo. I am a dead Nigerian widow with access to millions of dollars worth of bearer bonds and gold coins. I have spoken to god personally, and he assured me you were the person to help me transfer this money to the afterlife. First, I need you to send me you SS number, full name, birthdate, PIN, bank account information, and your mother's maiden name.
God bless you.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
This reminds me of a preacher on the Radio -- Dr. J Vernon McGee. He started a Bible teaching radio program [thruthebible.org] featuring himself teaching through the Bible. You can listen to it today on any day of the week, or even download his podcasts.
Here's the thing -- He's been dead since 1988. The current organization just keeps playing his tapes over and over again.