Enthusiasts Convene To Say No To SQL, Hash Out New DB Breed

ericatcw writes "The inaugural NoSQL meet-up in San Francisco during last month's Yahoo! Apache Hadoop Summit had a whiff of revolution about it, like a latter-day techie version of the American Patriots planning the Boston Tea Party. Like the Patriots, who rebelled against Britain's heavy taxes, NoSQLers came to share how they had overthrown the tyranny of burdensome, expensive relational databases in favor of more efficient and cheaper ways of managing data, reports Computerworld."

Quit Whining

[KingPin27]

Just use flat text files --- no need for expensive db's .... think of the freedom!

This is what happens

[Anonymous Coward]

When you get a lot of morbidly obese nerds with no life to program for you.

Meanwhile SQL users get laid.

Don't Like Traditional Relational Databases?

[ChoboMog]

Go fork yourself!

Next Up...

[grepya]

...say no to the tyranny of... er.. English. Let's stick with the combination of grunts, squeals, crying and gesturing that has proven so effective for toddlers all over the globe for thousands of years. And if we surrendered the traditional languages that we are so irrationally attached to, who knows what revolutionary new communication scheme the next-generation kids will come up with.

 

Re:This is what happens

[Anonymous Coward]

It's true. I do a lot of INNER JOINing. Often with multiple tables.

Re:Flat Earth

[Clover_Kicker]

You're not going to get many page hits with an attitude like that...

Re:Quit Whining

[Anonymous Coward]

She was screwing Mark Sanford!

Re:Quit Whining

[MichaelSmith]

This is one of the main objectives of ReiserFS, to make such things easy, a project which unfortunately has run into some difficulty of late.

I wonder if I could sneak Hans an eeepc inside a birthday cake...

Re:Don't Like Traditional Relational Databases?

[CorporateSuit]

It seems an idiot has modded you down because they don't understand very basic database expressions.

No need to get mad at Slashdot's mod point system, because, after all, if they outlaw giving mod points to stupids, then only stupid outlaws will have mod points... or something like that.

Re:Quit Whining

[Paradise Pete]

I"ve lost data in two filesystems thanks to the Slasher's shoddy work.

Have you looked near Redwood Regional Park? On the side of a hill?

I don't understand

[93 Escort Wagon]

So a bunch of Excel users got together for dinner in San Francisco - why is this news?

The RDBMS responds to the troll

[smittyoneeach]

See, I don't think there is ever a good time or place for SQL.

SELECT text FROM mild_introductory_statements WHERE id=random();

Anyone who says so has never had to use it.

SELECT text FROM statements_indicating_superior_experience WHERE id=random();

I like to compare it with JavaScript.

SELECT text FROM unrelated_tool WHERE id=random();

It's a language that is difficult to refactor, maintain, and while it's a standard, the standard is so vague that it's useless.

SELECT text FROM seemingly_valid_yet_unsubstantiated_objections WHERE id=random();

Like JavaScript, people are trying to build other languages on top of it to hide its shortcomings -- for javascript you have tools like GWT, and for SQL you have HQL, Linq, etc.

SELECT text FROM wrongheaded_causal_analysis WHERE id=same_one_as_two_queries_ago();

Not to say that there is anything wrong with relational databases, we just lack a good tool to interface with them.

SELECT text FROM reasonable_sounding_parthian_shot_to_obscure_trolling WHERE id=random();

Re:Quit Whining

[Profane MuthaFucka]

Even flat files are an abstraction. My files are long, skinny, spiral, and spin around like Linda Blair's head.

Re:Relational good, SQL not so

[Hognoxious]

I'd rather just get the data across a simple protocol (which can be wrapped in a simple API binding for the language in use).

While you're here, can you fill in the following form.

I would like my pony to be:
[ ] female
[ ] male, entire
[ ] male, gelded

with coat colour:
[ ] white
[ ] black
[ ] brown
[ ] piebald
[ ] other, please specify _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Re:This is what happens

[turing_m]

I call BS. You are in your mom's basement with one eye watching the door. While you construct intricate combinations of self-joins. Until your fingers cramp up. Because you are too scared to even query another table let alone join with it.

The RDBMS responds to the nitpick

[smittyoneeach]

SELECT text FROM thank_you_for_sharing_your_views_but _you_have_not_seen_the_schema_my_friend
UNION
SELECT text FROM same_goes_for_point_two__if_you_lack _the_source_code_what_then_do_you_really_know
UNION
SELECT text FROM besides_it_got_plus_five_funny_so_neener_neener_neener;