Nuclear Truckers Haul Warheads Across US 461
Hugh Pickens writes "As you weave through interstate traffic, you're unlikely to notice a plain-looking Peterbilt tractor-trailer or have any idea that inside the cab an armed federal agent operates a host of electronic countermeasures to keep outsiders from accessing his heavily armored cargo: a nuclear warhead. Adam Weinstein writes that the Office of Secure Transportation (OST) employs nearly 600 couriers to move bombs, weapon components, radioactive metals for research, and fuel for Navy ships and submarines between a variety of labs, reactors and military bases. Hiding nukes in plain sight and rolling them through major metropolitan centers raises a slew of security and environmental concerns, from theft to terrorist attack to radioactive spills. 'Any time you put nuclear weapons and materials on the highway, you create security risks,' says Tom Clements, a nuclear security watchdog for Friends of the Earth. For security, cabs are fitted with custom composite armor and lightweight armored glass, a redundant communications system that links the convoys to a monitoring center in Albuquerque, and the driver has the ability to disable the truck so it can't be moved or opened. The OST hires military veterans, particularly ex-special-operations forces (PDF), who are trained in close-quarters battle, tactical shooting, physical fitness, and shifting smoothly through the gears of a tractor-trailer. But accidents happen. In 1996, a driver flipped his trailer on a two-lane Nebraska hill road after a freak ice storm, sending authorities scrambling to secure its payload of two nuclear bombs; and in 2003, two trucks operated by private contractors had rollover accidents in Montana and Tennessee while hauling uranium hexafluoride, a compound used to enrich reactor and bomb fuel."
How else they gonna do it? (Score:5, Funny)
physical fitness (Score:5, Funny)
Not your usual trucker then.
Re:Accidents happen (Score:5, Funny)
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
Followed by Eisenhower's lesser known quote, "All your base are belong to us"
What could possibly go wrong... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How else they gonna do it? (Score:5, Funny)
> use UPS or Fedex?
US Postal Service, of course:
"Fry like an Eagle...into the future~~" :-D :-/
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
So is Sodium Chloride.
Re:Trains? (Score:5, Funny)
Two words: Atomic Hobo.
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
Why would I care? I'd be dead :)
To quote Epicurus [wikipedia.org]: When we are, Death is not; When Death is, we are not.
Re:How else they gonna do it? (Score:5, Funny)
This is how you're supposed to do it.
Great job old chap!
I can't wait for your next topic: oral hygiene.
Re:Accidents happen (Score:5, Funny)
"Jamie wants big boom."
Re:Accidents happen (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, you're right.
I love how peacefully calm the world is, today, without any war and nobody worries about nukes any more. Hell, this article doesn't exist. You're having this conversation with your subconcious in a prolonged dream experience.if you die in this dream, you'll return to your successful life married to a young Nancy Reagan with a nice ass. But watch out, the longer you stay in this dream state the more volatile it will become. Simple fears will become overblown out of proportion, your mind will overreact explosively, and your delusion will protect you from dying, thus prklonging the tragedy. While millions of dream surrogates are being microwaved to instananeous crisps, you'll be snugly sniveling in your bunker wringing your hands over all the mustard flavored cheese curls you'll be able to have to your greedy self. You should, i repeat, should not have eaten the mustard flavored ones. Why is it always the mustard with you! OMG bombs on the highwaaaaayyyyyyy.....
Re:How else they gonna do it? (Score:5, Funny)
While you are observing all that, the actual nuclear warhead is being moved in a regular looking lorry marked TESCO.
sPh
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
What if you got it in your eyes, then there would be enough to kill you and _YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE IT_.
Re:How else they gonna do it? (Score:5, Funny)
This is how you're supposed to do it.
Great job old chap!
I can't wait for your next topic: oral hygiene.
Ah, yes, because all of us Brits have awful teeth. It's odd how socialised medicine results in no-one ever going to the dentist... ~
What we don't have is a culture of unnecessary orthodontic work and overpriced private practices being the only way to get treatment. Case in point: a few months ago I had two wisdom teeth removed, which cost me under £100 on the NHS. It wouldn't have cost me a penny if I couldn't have afforded it.
I expect you'll want to take the piss out of our food next, which is always a bit rich coming from a country whose greatest contribution to cuisine is "cheese" (notice the quotes) in a can.
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
Re:LIMITED war (Score:5, Funny)
ICBMs without nukes would have just been incredibly expensive V2s - a complete waste of funding, since they were never accurate enough to drop an HE bomb where it would do any good.
As to long and bitter winters, it should be noted that we have Montana, Minnesota, Alaska, and Green Bay.
If we can handle going bare-chested and wearing a cheese on our heads to a football game in the snow, I'm pretty sure we could deal with Russian winters ;-)
Re:How else they gonna do it? (Score:4, Funny)
While you are observing all that, the actual nuclear warhead is being moved in a regular looking lorry marked TESCO.
sPh
Initially, I read "a regular looking lorry marked TEPCO." The statement took a different meaning. :)
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
Speak for yourself, all my salt is made twice a day with fresh Sodium-24.
Re:How's it feel (Score:5, Funny)
sure it wasn't dick cheney going fishing? (Score:5, Funny)
the guy likes to roll with an entourage, or so im told.
WARNING! (Score:4, Funny)
Do not rub salt (or Uranium Hexaflouride) into remaining eye.