Journalist Gets Blasted By the Pentagon's Pain Ray — Twice 357
dsinc writes "Wired's Spencer Ackerman voluntarily subjected himself to what the U.S. military calls the Active Denial System, an energy weapon commonly known as the 'Pain Ray' that turns electricity into millimeter wave radio frequency and blasts targets with heat. He describes it thus: 'When the signal goes out over radio to shoot me, there’s no warning — no flash, no smell, no sound, no round. Suddenly my chest and neck feel like they’ve been exposed to a blast furnace, with a sting thrown in for good measure. I’m getting blasted with 12 joules of energy per square centimeter, in a fairly concentrated blast diameter. I last maybe two seconds of curiosity before my body takes the controls and yanks me out of the way of the beam.'"
The device has been tested now on over 11,000 people, with only two serious injuries to show for it. However, the device has limitations: rainy weather decreases its effectiveness, and its "boot-up" time is 16 hours, making it useless for breaking up unexpected, impromptu mobs.
Faster than windows (Score:3, Funny)
Boots faster than windows...
Tube filaments. (Score:5, Funny)
Everybody knows that you can't get that perfect warmth without tubes.
Re:Wear Foil! (Score:5, Funny)
I wear a foil hat all the time. It seems to disable the mind reading abilities of the satellites that the United States government uses.
That's really the only thing you need to worry about. I'm thinking of having foil implanted on the inside of my skull for a more permanent solution. I just hope the person performing the surgery isn't a reptile. He or she or it might kill me on the operating table. You know how They are. They are always plotting against us, and they have been slithering around in the highest offices for so long...
Re:16 hours? (Score:2, Funny)
I read the article...
You must be new here.
Re:16 hours? (Score:5, Funny)
Not really integral to the function, the design team was just really goth.
Re:Less Effective (Score:5, Funny)
It is the American way (tm).
Re:future weapons ? (Score:5, Funny)
The device has been tested now on over 11,000 people, with only two serious injuries to show for it.
Doesn't sound like an effective weapon to me.
Right answer, wrong question (Score:5, Funny)
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear... I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
Re:future weapons ? (Score:3, Funny)
Please, do explain to us what simultaneity means in galaxies separated by 5.1 million light years.
Re:Right answer, wrong question (Score:4, Funny)
No, the proper resistance mantra is R=V/I.
Re:And is easily defeated... (Score:4, Funny)
Last time I slapped on a baklava, it took me an hour to get the honey and nuts out of my beard.
Re:16 hours? (Score:4, Funny)
Even with all that time spent reloading the game when you die?
Resistance... (Score:5, Funny)
Has to be reflective, though; if it's just resistive/dissipative, then you're wrapped in flaming fabric.
So with these things resistance really is futile.