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30 Days Is Too Long: Animated Rant About Windows 8 1110

First time accepted submitter Funksaw writes "Back in 2007, I wrote three articles on Ubuntu 6, Mac OS X 10.4, and Windows Vista, which were all featured on Slashdot. Now, with the release of Windows 8, I took a different tactic and produced an animated video. Those expecting me to bust out the performance tests and in-depth use of the OS are going to be disappointed. While that was my intention coming into the project, I couldn't even use Windows 8 long enough to get to the in-depth technical tests. In my opinion, Windows 8 is so horribly broken that it should be recalled."
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30 Days Is Too Long: Animated Rant About Windows 8

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  • by pieisgood ( 841871 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:38PM (#42353827) Journal

    " Windows 8 is so horribly broken that it should be recalled."

    Now, forgive me, but you can totally enter into windows 8 from a standard windows interface (as I understand it). That and, data shows, people are becoming familiar with it. Put that onto anecdotal evidence that younger individuals pick up the interface just fine and I'm inclined to think you knew what you thought before ever using windows 8.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Threni ( 635302 )

      Yes, once you've seen what was called Metro before Microsoft discovered that they were going to have to give it another name, and you've googled for ` do I do stuff on my computer like..uh..get the control panel up...shut it down...exit full screen mode on that ugly application` you'll find the Windows key, which allows you entry into a whole new front end, which is a little like Windows 7 only the stuff at the bottom of the screen is missing. You have to move the mouse around in the corners and the

    • by Tom ( 822 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:17PM (#42354209) Homepage Journal

      Yes, people are amazingly adaptable.

      That doesn't mean what they adapt to is any good. You can create the most horrible UI of all times, intentionally, and if you force them then people will learn to use it. Having to use it because of work or because you know nothing else is a kind of force.

      I haven't used W8 yet, so I don't have an opinion. But I have used most other versions of windows, and the UI is pretty stupid, inconsistent and basically cobbled together. Always has been. Don't see why W8 would be any different all of a sudden.

      • by jonbryce ( 703250 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @09:39PM (#42355045) Homepage

        "But I have used most other versions of windows, and the UI is pretty stupid, inconsistent and basically cobbled together. Always has been. Don't see why W8 would be any different all of a sudden."

        Prepare to be surprised and blown away, and not in a good way.

        It kind of reminds me of people on here when Slashdot first launched.

        "I've just installed Red Hat 3 on my machine, and it can't find my CD drive despite the fact I installed it from a CD
        "That's really easy. You just fire up xterm, type su, enter your root password, then type mount -t iso9660 /dev/cdrom /mount/cdrom . You must be a complete idiot if you can't figure that out."

        A bit later

        "Great, that works. However I can't get the CD out of the drive now
        "You need to unmount it first you idiot"

        Linux has moved on since those days. It has improved, and is much more user friendly now. Windows 8 is a major step backwards.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:39PM (#42353849)

    This video shows that you just can't copy Yahtzee Croshaw without his motor mouth rambling, it just doesn't feel right :D

    Captcha: copied :D

  • Really? (Score:3, Informative)

    by Lawrence_Bird ( 67278 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:43PM (#42353889) Homepage
    I just finished building a budget pc to replace a dinosaur. I put the XP SP3 on and did a clean 'upgrade' to 8 Pro. After three days, I have to say I quite like it. I mostly use the desktop but flipflop to the metro stuff now and then too. Still a bit put off by lack of start button but I've not really gone too deep into the whole Win8 thing to find out all the short cuts and other features (I've not had to). BTW, my other OS on the machine is FreeBSD so hardly a rah rah MSFT guy. But I do think much of the hyperobole against it is misplaced.
  • by ios and web coder ( 2552484 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:45PM (#42353915) Journal
    It seems a bit over the top for the context, but it is well-done.
  • by KiwiSurfer ( 309836 ) < . n z> on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:46PM (#42353933)
    I have been using Windows 8 for the last few weeks and it seems to work just as well as Windows 7 did on the same machine. I suspect most of the issues the OP is having is just due to change anxiety due to for example the new Metro interface. Metro does take a while to get used to but like the ribbon it grows on you after a while. I think there are better things to rant about than Windows 8 to be honest.
    • by UnknownSoldier ( 67820 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @07:53PM (#42353997)

      The ribbon is a horrible UI design. At least with menu (bars) you can SEE ALL your choices. WIth the ribbon if your window width is too small you don't. It also completely sucks that you can't customize it like you could with a REAL tool bar.

      With that said I actually like the Ribbon on OS X Office because I have BOTH -- menu bars AND ribbon. Forcing users to only work ONE way tells me the UI designer was an retard who doesn't understand HOW people use computers.

      • At least with menu (bars) you can SEE ALL your choices. WIth the ribbon if your window width is too small you don't.

        Ribbon starts removing functions from view when the windows is less than 1024 pixels wide (depending on the specific ribbon. Most are much less than this). According to stat counter, this accounts for about 15% of internet users.

        Further, with menu bars, you can see all the menu options, just as you can in a ribbon (e.g. File, Edit, Insert etc. in a menu bar vs. Home, Inset, Design etc. for the Word ribbon). The menu entries within the menu headings are equivalent to the functions on the ribbon. Within th

        • by justthinkit ( 954982 ) <> on Thursday December 20, 2012 @09:18PM (#42354845) Homepage Journal
          Here is a big problem with are trying to fit every single button you will ever need on one ribbon.

          You might have 8 or 10 application menus. Each of these menus might take up 25% of the screen when you display it. Crunching the math you have several whole screens of menu info....jammed into a "ruler" that takes up a fifth or less of the screen. It's a simple math problem.

          I've embraced PKZIP since the PKARC and even ARC days, but interface compression is not my thing.

    • Metro does take a while to get used to but like the ribbon it grows on you after a while.

      The ribbon doesn't grow on you, I loathe it now, just as much as I loathed it when it was being designed.
      Metro has a couple of problems. It works ok with a touch device, but not so much with a mouse. This needs to be solved.
      A lack of a start menu is HUGE for people who primarily use the desktop (and don't go into this 'use only half the OS thing, some programs are desktop only) Metro is a very poor replacement for a start menu. And not just because it is full screen.
      Solving these two issues will make

  • by rasper99 ( 247555 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:09PM (#42354129)

    Some of us started on paper tape and punch cards. Windows 8, Unity, whatever. It's not going to stay the same forever. Cry me a river!

  • It's not Vista (Score:5, Insightful)

    by stox ( 131684 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:18PM (#42354219) Homepage

    Coming from someone who has had a deep and long dislike of Microsoft, Windows 8 is not that bad. Metro is half baked and feels like it was tossed in at the last moment. Other than that, I have had less issues with Windows 8 than its predecessors.

    Now then, what were they thinking with Metro? I have no idea. It feels half assed, and adds no value. The screen looks like someone's idea for webcasting push technology from the late 1990's.

  • I felt stupid... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by benjfowler ( 239527 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:19PM (#42354223)

    Just out of interest, I walked into a PC World store to check out the new touch-screen PCs running Windows 8.

    I timed myself: I was sitting there trying to work out how to do the gesture to get the Start screen. 90 seconds later, I simply gave up.

    Windows 8, even on high-spec hardware with multitouch displays is completely unintuitive, completely undiscoverable, clunky, and amateur-looking.

    I am GOBSMACKED, that Microsoft claimed that they've put a million user-hours into usability testing.

    It'll snow in Hell before I put my hand in my pocket to upgrade.

  • Dunno... (Score:5, Informative)

    by roc97007 ( 608802 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:20PM (#42354233) Journal

    There's inevitably going to be fans for any OS, even windows ME.

    Since we have a Windows 7 slate that I really wanted to upgrade (read: make usable, as 7 is pants on a slate) daughter and I went to an Office Despot that had Win8 running on a big touch screen monitor, and I tried to get it to do stuff. Never touched Win8 before, but had worked on most previous Windows operating systems, (starting with 3.1, 3.51, 95, 98 SE, NT 4, 2000, ME (shudder), XP (still using it) and 7, plus experience with server 2000 and 2008) how hard could it be?

    I massaged the screen for about ten minutes and couldn't get it to do anything useful. Oh, you can touch a tile and something happens, but it's easy to get into a mode where it's not at all obvious how to get out. GUIs, especially touch GUIs, should have visual cues on how to navigate, or at very least do things in consistent ways.

    After awhile, daughter pushed me aside, as she has experience with Windows 7, Android and iOS on touchscreen, she wanted to take a crack at it. She figured out how to get out from where I had gotten stuck, but not much else after another ten minutes of pawing at the thing. Like 7, there seems to be little cabalistic gestures one has to learn to perform certain actions in 8, and they don't seem to be similar to what you had to do in 7. We finally gave up.

    Mind you, I'm sure it's possible to learn Windows 8. The point is, it's not at all obvious how to use it.

    • The only thing you have to learn is to go to a corner. Lower left corner to Start. Top left corner to switch between applications. Right corners for search (no matter what (metro) appliation you're in, settings, etc.

      It's new, rather than the same old stuff... so I expect there to be a little learning...

  • by eagee ( 1308589 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:22PM (#42354269)
    Seriously, there's a lot that's broken about Windows 8 right now, but I'm willing to give Microsoft the benefit of the doubt long term. I'm certainly not going to upgrade until they've fixed a lot of their poor UX decisions, but I'm pretty sure they'll figure it out by the next version. Microsoft "Window" is a very apt analogy at the moment, but I'm putting my money on this being a success long term.
  • If you HAVE to deal with a Win8 system then install classic shell and be done with it

    If you think the measure of things is how a 3 year old does them then i would suggest your choices are a bit different beginning with say your underwear,

    note for MS please restore the Start menu/Orb at least as an option for SP1

    note for IT managers please allow things like Classic Shell so that your folks can get WORK done.

  • by dtjohnson ( 102237 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:42PM (#42354477)

    Basically, he discusses the four c's: control, conveyance, continuity, and context, and gives examples about why all of these are horribly back-leveled from earlier Windows versions. Most damningly, he points to reduced control by the user...which is a trend that seems to have permeated through Windows since Windows 95. He summarizes by referring to someone else who observed that Windows 8 was really designed for content consumption by the user rather than content creation as personal computer devices were originally intended for. Content consumption is probably the main purpose of a tablet but we will still need content creation equipment and Windows 8 appears poorly suited for that, while not offering any alternative due to ending sales of Windows 7. His most damning comment is that Windows 8 is "user hostile." The best thing about his comments is that they will (hopefully) start the discussion about what capabilities need to be retained in future personal computers and future Windows versions.

  • by taxman_10m ( 41083 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:47PM (#42354537)

    How is a person supposed to know what to type to find a thing that isn't listed? This has frustrated me at times in Ubuntu also. Why the menu hate?

  • by bagboy ( 630125 ) <neo&arctic,net> on Thursday December 20, 2012 @08:49PM (#42354555)
    on the Princess Bride? INCONCEIVABLE!
    • by Funksaw ( 636954 )

      on the Princess Bride? INCONCEIVABLE!

      Awesome! I know I have a weird voice, but there's worse things to compare it to.

  • by Zephiris ( 788562 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @09:53PM (#42355161)

    I thought in a general sense, as a community, we'd moved past cheering for nerd-rage melodrama.
    Windows 8 makes a few gaffes, but they're largely the same problems that Windows 7, Office 2007, and others started introducing. It can be annoying, but it's the same stuff taken to a reasonable next step, as well as UI unification between desktop, laptop, and tablet.

    None of that is necessarily a fun thing, but OSX has been pushing many similar UI changes for longer. A lot of people were unhappy with Lion's increasing similarity and unification with iOS, just in case anybody actually forgot that in less than a year.

    The bottom line is, 8 works in the same ways as 7, just with some added complexity. The easiest way to almost entirely remove that complexity? A start menu replacer. People recommend Start8, ViStart, and others. My personal recommendation is "Classic Shell". It works exactly the same as it used to on Vista+, except it adds the "Apps" to the start menu as well.

    But even so, why wouldn't somebody be able to figure this out? The video author was squealing about how the start menu "hurt him deeply". Trackpads aren't really supposed to do "touch gestures" by default. It's vendor opt-in. Logitech opted in, and chances are, this guy didn't install whatever WIndows 8 drivers or control panel may or may not be available. Either way, it's a vendor issue. Just like 'no install/repair/recovery/etc' disk is a vendor issue. If you don't want vendor issues, you don't buy things from those vendors.

    All of the UIs Windows (95-W8), OSX, KDE, iOS, Android, etc are different. What everything has in common is that there are roughly 6 different things you have to know about each, then consistency covers all of the multi-step operations, or using various applications. Occasionally you get something that breaks out of that a bit (Office 2007+). There are so many "advanced" things, like command line digging, reinstalling from scratch, that the overwhelming majority of people will simply ask a friend for help with or pay a PC repair company. That's pretty much regardless of operating system.

    But I digress. The rant is pretty simply over the top drama. It should sell itself as entertainment (if it at least had any humor), not as something relevant to 'tech news'. It's not politically correct to mention, but this guy sounds and acts like the stereotypical nerd, going into a panicky, narcissistic rage about primarily one change that, overall, isn't that significant to day to day use, AND for which there exist free, open source, and easy to use workarounds, while still obtaining benefits of a newer OS.

    He himself admits he only tried it for 30 minutes, in a coffee shop, and didn't bother one iota further.
    Personally, I've been using it for 4 months (and preview versions before that) with NO issues that would meaningfully impact your average, or above-average user. All of my personal complaints are exceedingly specific and technical, and have mostly been taken care of by various updates.

    And, in the interest of disclosure, I'm not the kind of person who likes Windows, or most other OSes, in a general sense.
    I prod and patch kernels, have no problems custom-rolling EFI stub-only boot on Linux, etc. What I really miss, is being able to run highly customized FreeBSD and still use ~90% of my Windows games at full speed. That's mostly a hardware/driver/wine(!) issue, though.

    So when I say I'm using Windows 8 in the exact same manner as I use Windows 7, I'm not exaggerating. I actually like the availability of some of the W8 new features. I middle click on the start button (or use Shift+Windows) if I want to see live tiles like the weather...just like on OSX, you use F12 to get the Dashboard to pop up a full screen of 'one glance' kinda information. Even before using Classic Start, the only quirk I took issue with, on the 'start screen', is that when typing for programs, it wouldn't search for stuff like control panels "by default". You'd have to move the mouse over to select "settings". Mos

  • by walterbyrd ( 182728 ) on Thursday December 20, 2012 @10:53PM (#42355661)

    He explained exactly what was wrong, and why.

    He used the basic principals of GUI design and explained why Windows 8 is a total failure.

    Great job. No wonder the MS shills are going crazy.

"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."