If UNIX Were a Religion 392
Hugh Pickens DOT Com writes "Charles Stross has written a very clever article where he describes the religious metaphor he uses with non-technical folks to explain the relationship between Mac OS X and UNIX. There is one true religion in operating systems says Stross and it is UNIX although there's also an earlier, older, more arcane religion with far fewer followers, MULTICS, from which UNIX sprang as a stripped-down rules-deficient heresy. If MULTICS is Judaism then UNIX is Christianity. By the mid-1970s there were two main sects: AT&T UNIX, which we may liken unto the Roman Catholic Church, and BSD UNIX, which we may approximate to the Orthodox Churches. In an attempt to control the schisms, the faithful defined a common interoperating subset of the one true religion that all could agree on—the Nicene Creed of UNIX which is probably POSIX. Stross says that today the biggest church in the whole of UNIX is Mac OS X, which rests on the bedrock of Orthodox BSD but "has added an incredible, towering superstructure of fiercely guarded APIs and proprietary user interface stuff that renders it all but unrecognizable to followers of the Catholic AT&T path." But lo, in the late 1980s, UNIX succumbed to the sins of venality, demanding too much money from the faithful and so, in 1991 Linus Torvalds nailed his famous source code release to the cathedral door and kicked off the Reformation. 'The Linux wars were brutal and unforgiving and Linux itself splintered into a myriad of fractious Protestant churches, from the Red Hat wearing Lutherans to the Ubuntu Baptists.' More recently, a deviant faith has sprung from Linux. 'Android is the Church of Latter Day Saints of UNIX: hard-working, sober, evangelizing the public, and growing at a ferocious rate. There are some strange fundamentalist Mormon Android churches living in walled communities under the banners of Samsung and Amazon, but for the most part the prosperous worship at the Church of Google.' Stross notes that as with all religion, those sects with most in common are the ones who hold the most vicious grudges against one another. 'Is that clear?'"
If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
If it was a religion? if???
I didn't realise this was up for a debate about this.
Now I'm going to fetch my copy of the old testament (ANSI version) and read a few verses.
Only a metaphor, but... (Score:5, Interesting)
It's only a metaphor, but holds surprisingly well. Worryingly well. So well that we, if we claim to be modern enlightened people, should have some kind of response.
But what? Switching operating systems - like switching religions - involves a lot of work if you do it properly. Unlike religion it is possible to "worship" two or more OSes, but many people find that an inefficient way to work. So how can we avoid unwarranted faith in our way of doing things, fighting between neighbouring factions, and all the other destructive forces that religions suffer from?
The Linux kernel does a good job of holding all the myriad Linuxes together: all need the kernel to evolve and improve, but none can afford to implement those changes alone. Android and iOS have opened peoples eyes to other ways of interacting with computers and rendered the Windows-Mac conflict less important.
Technology evolves, preventing us from stagnating and developing unchangeable "holy" rules. It's a natural human tendency to break into tribal factions, but it seems that technological progress puts a damper on this, forcing us to widen our horizons and helping us to work together. Suddenly progress seems more important than ever.
Re:Only a metaphor, but... (Score:5, Funny)
I'm a Unitarian, but I'm a lapsed Unitarian. So while I respect and learn about all operating systems, I secretly use a Mac and respect it slightly more. And since leaving the forced attendance at the Church of Microsoft I endured as a young businessman, I make snide remarks about it's adherence to the Registry which I believe only serves to corrupt it after a year.
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I'm a Unitarian, but I'm a lapsed Unitarian.
I'm not sure it's even possible to be a "lapsed Unitarian". Considering that there are UU-Pagan, UU-Taoist, UU-Jew, UU-Humanist, UU-Buddhist, UU-Hindu, UU-Confucian, UU-Animist, UU-Islam "fellowships" within the Unitarian-Universalist Society, there probably is a UU-Lapsed-UU official group too.
Which makes you (and me) still Unitarians!
But I still had MacOS9 running until late last year, on a purple-bubble iMac, with Windows 98 on it via pre-MSFT-VirtualPC, so I'm a heretical one.
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No I'm a "lapsed" Unitarian because I've given up on impartiality. I secretly don't admire and respect all religions because I think that they are dangerous oily cloths that we throw in the garage and if we ignore them for long, they just build up heat and ignite.
In other words; Letting people follow their own groove no matter how ignorant, eventually bites us all on the rear.
So a "lapsed" Unitarian is someone who is intolerant. I accept that. I'm like Unitarian Judas. "Today, one of you will betray me, and
Re:Only a metaphor, but... (Score:5, Funny)
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the master.
"And is the Tao also in Windows 8.1?"
The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
Re:Only a metaphor, but... (Score:5, Informative)
The Japanese are mostly participants in two religions: Shinto and Buddhism. They complement each other well. Most people have a Shinto birth ceremony, a Shinto marriage ceremony (but with a separate western style wedding too), and a Buddhist funeral.
I think it's possible to use several operating systems like this. Android when you want to browser the news on your phone, Linux for your router and file server, BSD to host your web site, Windows for gaming and the day job.
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95% of the Japanese are Christians.
Japan, Philippines ... same same.
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Unlike religion it is possible to "worship" two or more OSes, In ancient times it was no problem to worship several gods, even from different pantheons.
However I find it pretty disturbing that scientists now use religions as analogies.
Or well it is also geeky, I remember a few fantasy RPGs that involve "religions".
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It's possible with religion too, if you're a polytheist.
DOS Mythology (Score:3)
Unlike religion it is possible to "worship" two or more OSes
Ah but at a fundamental level you can only have one endianess at a time and, unless you return to the source, it's hard to switch!
Re:If it was a religion? (Score:5, Insightful)
I'd say I like the analogy to LINUX as Protestant splintering from the church of AT&T, though I'm wondering why nobody brought up that BeOS splintered with more forward looking features and ended up being led by a homicidal albino bent on mayhem.
We took a rancorous subject where people just argue, and we added religious debate to it, just in case someone wasn't going to get their jammies in a wad. We should also add in that Windows doesn't believe in Global Warming, and Al Gore prefers the Mac. Glenn Beck is out in a hidden location somewhere in the Utah desert right now preaching Ubuntu to rebellious children waiting for the end times.
I don't however, see much use in these analogies, because they detract from the much better "If an Operating System Drove Your Car" metaphor; http://www.computerjokes.net/027.asp [computerjokes.net]
Re:If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
BeOS is Zoroastrianism.
It's quite nice, but have you ever met anybody that uses is it practice?
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Cult: A small, unpopular religion.
Religion: A large, popular cult.
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Text editors perhaps would be saints.
http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/ed-msg.html
Re:If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
A student said to Master Foo: "We are told that the firm called SCO holds true dominion over Unix."
Master Foo nodded.
The student continued, "Yet we are also told that the firm called OpenGroup also holds true dominion over Unix."
Master Foo nodded.
"How can this be?" asked the student.
Master Foo replied:
"SCO indeed has dominion over the code of Unix, but the code of Unix is not Unix. OpenGroup indeed has dominion over the name of Unix, but the name of Unix is not Unix."
"What, then, is the Unix-nature?" asked the student.
Master Foo replied:
"Not code. Not name. Not mind. Not things. Always changing, yet never changing."
"The Unix-nature is simple and empty. Because it is simple and empty, it is more powerful than a typhoon."
"Moving in accordance with the law of nature, it unfolds inexorably in the minds of programmers, assimilating designs to its own nature. All software that would compete with it must become like to it; empty, empty, profoundly empty, perfectly void, hail!"
Upon hearing this, the student was enlightened.
Re:If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
Master Foo Discourses on the Unix-Nature "What, then, is the Unix-nature?" asked the student. Master Foo replied:
RTFM
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Re: If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
Are you allowed to post in this thread? Isn't it some kind of conflict of interest? ;)
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Re:If it was a religion? (Score:5, Funny)
Sgh. (Score:5, Informative)
Oh lookie, a navel-gazing extended, tortured analogy, and even worse, an unfunny to say nothing of uninsightful one.
BeOS? (Score:2)
Re:BeOS? (Score:4)
Hinduism? Shinto?
And what about Windows? Is that Scientology?
Re:BeOS? (Score:5, Funny)
A cult that demands its adherents donate increasingly large amounts of money to the "church" and employs dubious legal tactics, manipulation of the media and outright intimidation to keep its opponents and wayward members in check? Yep. Sounds like we have a winner!
Re:BeOS? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:BeOS? (Score:5, Funny)
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We don't have to bow in the direction of Redmond. But when we have a trojan horse, we have to reformat the drive and bow down and check the cables because that dang registry embedded redirect will not go away until you burn the machine.
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So that means Android is either the Unity church that stresses it's openness, but not really because you HAVE TO appreciate feelings as divine messages and nobody is allowed in without leaving behind any notion of going a day without strangers touching them, or Android his Christian Scientist because only re-installs from the one true source can heal you for they don't believe in inoculating against viruses.
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I want to know which OS would be considered to be buddhism?
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Re:BeOS? (Score:5, Funny)
Minix.
Beautiful, elegant, reliable and useless.
Minix? (Score:2)
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I want to know which OS would be considered to be buddhism?
Who is root?
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Wait... no! That was Windows.
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http://catb.org/~esr/writings/unix-koans/ [catb.org]
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> I want to know which OS would be considered to be buddhism?
If a kernel panics in the os, would any system crash?
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One evening, Master Foo and Nubi attended a gathering of programmers who had met to learn from each other. One of the programmers asked Nubi to what school he and his master belonged. Upon being told they were followers of the Great Way of Unix, the programmer grew scornful.
WThe command-line tools of Unix are crude and backward," he scoffed. "Modern, properly designed operating systems do everything through a graphical user interface."
Master Foo sa
Re: BeOS? (Score:2)
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Since 2010, under Farrakhan, members have been strongly encouraged to study Dianetics, and the Nation currently claims it has trained 1055 Auditors.[10]
What the fuck?
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OS400 !=Hinduism
Reminds me of "Wings of OS/400" and the other OS iterations from:
http://www.eecis.udel.edu/~zurawski/humor/new_os_air.html [udel.edu]
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That's not an unreasonable comparison... a growing number of Hindus actually believe that the many gods of Hinduism are all aspects of a single god, and there are even some who practice a sort of mixed bag where, nominally, they're Hindu and celebrate Hindu festivals like Diwali, but are also Christian, and celebrate Christian festivals like Christmas.
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Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)
Security (Score:2)
Arch Linux (Score:2)
I guess Arch Linux (my current OS of choice) doesn't fit in this ungodly mess of doctrines, with the gluttonous pacman and all.
You mean Andrew Tanenbaum (Score:5, Informative)
But lo, in the late 1980s, UNIX succumbed to the sins of venality, demanding too much money from the faithful and so, in 1991 Linus Torvalds nailed his famous source code release to the cathedral door and kicked off the Reformation.
It was Andrew Tanenbaum who showed the initiative to create a UNIX compatible royalty free OS for the purpose of teaching, Torvalds Linux is surely a derivative of that initiative if not a direct derivative of the Minix book which inspired him. Torvalds deserves a lot of credit for Linux but i think Tanenbaum deserves to have the credit for enabling so many people to learn about UNIX like systems without paying absurd amounts to AT&T.
OK - so Tanenbaum is Luther or Wycliffe (Score:4, Insightful)
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Some say that Martin Luther didn't know what he was doing either. He posts some intellectual ramblings on his local bulletin board and suddenly he has a full scale revolution on his hands.
Linus merely tapped into the zeitgeist. The path as already prepared for him by GNU. You could probably say the same of Luther.
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Bon't forget VMS (Ptrobably an off-shoot of Druidism) or RSX (modern form of Nerthe).
CPM anyone?
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My C Teacher, had the tape, and offered that if any one bought the book, he would dupe the tape for us.
Well, it took almost 3 months for the unix bookstore to get a copy in, so me and my roommate both bought
the book, and my teacher duped the mag tape. we got another teacher to dump the tape to 6 floppies,
and we started playing around with it in earnest, crashing compilers, and generally having a hell of a time trying to make
it work, and got a lot of hints off a programmers bbs, until less than 4 months late
Re:You mean Andrew Tanenbaum (Score:5, Informative)
Minix was explicitly considered a toy operating system by Andrew Tanenbaum, who refused to accept patches to add functionality because the complexity would have made Minix less suited as a teaching tool.
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Minix is an ensigns training ship. The Navy doesn't put the latest guns on an ensigns training ship, because it's purpose is not to sail out into battle.
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But lo, in the late 1980s, UNIX succumbed to the sins of venality, demanding too much money from the faithful and so, in 1991 Linus Torvalds nailed his famous source code release to the cathedral door and kicked off the Reformation.
It was Andrew Tanenbaum who showed the initiative to create a UNIX compatible royalty free OS for the purpose of teaching, Torvalds Linux is surely a derivative of that initiative if not a direct derivative of the Minix book which inspired him. Torvalds deserves a lot of credit for Linux but i think Tanenbaum deserves to have the credit for enabling so many people to learn about UNIX like systems without paying absurd amounts to AT&T.
Allowing for some confusion here, Unix was "free" to universities, but that obviously meant that it was less accessible to those without a suitable academic connection.
Minix likewise wasn't totally free, as Torvalds specifically indicated that the restrictions on Minix were the reason that he developed Linux. Had Minix been more open to him, he would have gone with it.
Re:You mean Andrew Tanenbaum (Score:4, Funny)
> laid with MINIX...
Works better if you say, "Linus knew MINIX."
So whats the Church of Satan? (Score:2)
Must be Windows, maybe just the church of windows ME.
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Back to DEC? IBM tape, basic?
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Emacs?
vi. We all know that "vi" is just short for "vile".
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Slay the heretic! (Score:3)
http://blog.aegisub.org/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html [aegisub.org]
The analogy is a logical one, since religion is a form of software.
Then Windows would be...? (Score:2)
(One can't say Islam, b'cos whereas Islam spread wherever it could, Windows largely refused to leave its x86 home)
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If a better product comes along for a reasonable price, we switch. Simple as that.
If that were truly the case, then you'd be using linux. Windows is held in place by corporate fiat, not by merit... much like the Roman Catholic church.
Ubuntu is Baptist? (Score:3)
Maybe the Westboro Baptist Church...
And Windows 8 is Scientology.
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If Unix is Christianity, then RMS is Westboro Baptist Church.
why ? (Score:4, Interesting)
Ok, what's the point of this stressed metaphor? It doesn't make it easier to remember anything, it doesn't help in understanding anything (largely because the various splits, etc. happened for entirely different reasons), it adds a completely unnecessary layer of indirection and, quite honestly, I find the comparison insulting.
So the point is? Aside from "because we can"? What am I missing that makes this blog-level nonsense frontpage-worthy?
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I always liked Umberto Eco on The Holy War: Mac vs. DOS from 1994
http://www.themodernword.com/eco/eco_mac_vs_pc.html [themodernword.com]
'To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: Far away from the baroque community of revelers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own inner torment."
Re:why ? (Score:5, Insightful)
Of course it will be useless for you if you already have some understanding of the UNIX heritage. As with all metaphors, its value is for people who know very little about the topic, in that it helps them relating the topic to something which they're already familiar with.
For someone without a previous knowledge in the history of UNIX, the metaphor provides a mental map to navigate intuitively what was perceived as an impenetrable technical mess [levenez.com]. It can provide the idea that there is a heritage of branching from a common origin, a sense of what are the main branches, their relative antiquity and importance.
Moreover, it's funny and light-hearted. Why does everything has to have a practical purpose?
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>Ok, what's the point of this stressed metaphor?
Fun? :-)
When people meet fun they often forgot that the purpose is to laugh, and being too hard on a person who tries to make you laugh does not benefit that purpose at all. :-)
If something intended as fun does not seem funny to you the best thing is to ignore it.
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That it is a slow news day and you will forget all about this really pointless topic tonight while you ring in the new year with popping champagne bottles and a headache January 1st at 7 am.
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That is not true. Just yesterday I saw a highly upvoted (32 votes as far as I remember) Reddit comment linked to Slashdot article.
Religion is... (Score:2, Insightful)
Funny (Score:2)
Emo Phillips joke (Score:2)
> the most vicious grudges
Stross is probably hinting at this Emo Phillips joke:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=print_topic;f=61;t=000011 [ship-of-fools.com]
A thanks from people taking religous studies. (Score:2)
For providing an analogoy that makes the history of ( some ) religions clear to them.
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Brilliant ! (Score:2)
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If you're gonna go, go all the way (Score:2)
I'm sure a lot of people will take the android thing as a slight being associated with Mormon, so I'm not sure why he avoided the analogy that the whole thing was begging: Apple as Islam. Someone else said Microsoft as Scientology which was a good one as well.
windowshu akbar? (Score:2)
I'm surprised noone has posted this one yet. (Score:2)
Our OS who art in CPU, UNIX be thy name.
Thy programs run, thy syscalls done,
In kernel as it is in user.
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Ugh, religion (Score:3)
Good one. (Score:4)
I'm a programmer, a former Protestant, and now an Orthodox Clergyman. I found this article to be very entertaining. Now I know why I've always liked BSD and OS X.
I'm inspired to read one of Charlie Stross' books.
Re:If UNIX were a religion... (Score:5, Informative)
Stop calling Scientology a church. They are not.
They are a tax evading criminal company selling a bogus cult for big money. Nothing else.
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That took elements common to Judaism and Christianity and fused them into an aggressive hegemonising philosophy that brooked no opposition. Where does that fit into the anology?
Sounds like Apple to me. Started out with open hardware and open software, and bundled them into a walled garden.
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Those would be the practitioners of the command line.