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The Internet Government

Comcast's Lobbyists Hand Out VIP Cards To Skip the Customer Service Wait 131

Posted by Soulskill from the a-charmed-existence dept.
An anonymous reader writes: A lengthy story about how David Gregory lost his job hosting Meet the Press holds an interesting tidbit: Comcast's team of lobbyists regularly hands out VIP cards to influential (and influence-able) people in Washington that lets them bypass normal customer service and fast-track their support problems. "Its government-affairs team carried around 'We'll make it right' cards stamped with 'priority assistance' codes for fast-tracking help and handed them out to congressional staffers, journalists, and other influential Washingtonians who complained about their service. A Comcast spokeswoman says this practice isn't exclusive to DC; every Comcast employee receives the cards, which they can distribute to any customer with cable or internet trouble. Nevertheless, efforts like this one have surely helped Comcast boost its standing inside the Beltway and improve its chances of winning regulatory approval for its next big conquest: merging with the second-largest cable provider in the country, Time Warner Cable." (The David Gregory article is worth a look on it's own, too; it shows how Comcast's purchase of NBC has led to interference in NBC's attempts at real journalism.)
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Comcast's Lobbyists Hand Out VIP Cards To Skip the Customer Service Wait More

Comcast's Lobbyists Hand Out VIP Cards To Skip the Customer Service Wait

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  • So, according to the story, 'every employee' receives the cards, for distribution to 'any customer with cable or internet trouble'. Do remind me, then, of what advantage these cards have over the ordinary support apparatus (allegedly) handling customers who are having issues?

    Either the story is BS, and the cards are in fact better than being stuck in phone-drone hell; or the cards are BS, and nothing more than an informational tool to see what comcast employee ended up referring you to the same quagmire

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward

      You assume that every Comcast customer is personal friends with a Comcast employee? Why these cards are given to low ranking pawns I have no idea, but discrimination against customers based on their perceive influence should not be a surprising behavior from a company operating in an industry that is prone to "natural monopolies"(in a regulatory environment that hasn't taken significant anti-trust action since the 1990s).

    • Microsoft used to give all customer facing employees 5 of these, too. Ingratiating.

    • Microsoft has free support cards (Score:1)

      by Anonymous Coward

      As a consultant you get a couple of free paid solution cards every quarter if you ask for them and regular employees could if they know who to ask. Support cards are common with all big lumbering evil companies and is actually pretty non-evil. Now the fact they have a special line to provide 'better' service is kind of evil, but having called them about 5 times with a 20+minute wait and incredibly painful slow explanations of the obvious to correct billing with escalations and 2 times to cancel with escal

      • Re: (Score:1)

        by Anonymous Coward

        So they basically admit that their support system sucks donkey balls and that they have the ability to fix it. But they don't want to. At least not for everybody. So they just do it for some people. Nice! Why does these companies still exist again?

      • Re: (Score:3)

        by DrXym ( 126579 )
        I bet lots of companies do it - sign up for their most expensive credit card, or phone plan, or cable package and the number you call prioritizes you in the queue. The reason of course is simple - they care more about keeping the cash cows happy more than the scum signed up on the basic package.

        • Well yeah, in a case like that, I kind of would expect better service depending on the circumstances.

          The same doesn't got for every product/service, of course, but if the product/service I'm buying specifically offers me a higher level of service than the average joe, I should damn well get it.

          For example, I would be a bit miffed if an AAA classic member got priority (or better benefits) than me as an AAA premier tier - after all, I paid for premier for a reason, damnit. Similarly, if I talk business class

    • Story is BS. Make it Right cards aren't that big. (Score:5, Informative)

      by IcyWolfy ( 514669 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @05:04AM (#48658607) Homepage

      The story is BS.
      Every employee at Comcast gets 3 cards a year.
      The idea is that if you see or hear someone who's having a problem, you can give them a card and they get a better experience.

      The number on the card is a single use number. Thus, once used, it's tied to a specific account/issue, and can never be used again.
      Second, it's only good for Residential services (Business services have separate support numbers and staff)
      Third, it only bypasses Tier 1 customer support (newly hired users, who are still trying to figure out all the tools, and the problems,; once you're competent enough on enough systems, you can be promoted to Tier 2.)
      Thus, if you want the same situation, call in to comcast, and immediate ask to speak to their supervision or a Tier 2 rep; or simply BS that your call was dropped while the issue was being escalated, etc.

      Fourth, only a small number of employees actually use the cards. There was a drive to try to convince staff to jus give them out to anybody with a problem; even to friends of friends, or to strangers on the train talking about comcast. Just get them out there.

      As the cards are basically tied into the Residential Support system, it doesn't help with Retentions, Service Cancellation, or other non Technical issues with your service. Not sure about billing.

      I know when I was at Comcast, I didn't use my cards on friends. Someone complained on twitter about their comcast service, I gave them one of my cards. I gave one to a women I met on a flight; and the last I just lost.

      Friends I would direct to call and tell them which keywords to use about their problem so that custrep can find the issue and fix it. (since they're basicaly just using a search engine to try to find out which of the 100,000s of issues your symtoms could match to; which leads to basically hundreds of questions to try to narrow it down, if they haven't experienced your particual problem before)

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by dcw3 ( 649211 )

        Many companies do this kind of thing, which leads me to a question for you. Are you sure there wasn't a separate tier, one that not every employee got cards for? My own company does this to us...we outsourced our IT a few years back, and now if you call and tell them you're from a certain location, you get your hand held, and a blow job, while your machine is fixed.

        • you get your hand held, and a blow job, while your machine is fixed

          Wow, where do I get one of those cards?

          My machine would constantly be broken. ;-)

      • Perception counts a lot in politics. The big deal is IF the Comcast lobby staff handed out more than the "3 cards a year" with intent to influence. Said another way Comcast is calling the majority of it's customers peons.

      • Re: (Score:3)

        by T.E.D. ( 34228 )
        I honestly don't see your clarification as any better. If people are encouraged to hand those cards out sort of as a perk for knowing someone who works there, what exactly is that saying about your company's Tier 1 service? If not having to go through that layer is a special favor, then clearly even the company is acknowledging that it is an unpleasant experience for the poor sucke--er--customers stuck using it.

        • Tier one service is adequate for 70-80% of the people calling in.
          of the above calls, the issue is resolved in one call for 95% of the time.
          It's the deeper problems that require Engineering Insight, or learning customer state, or escalating to what's effectively Tier 5 support, to escalate to Engineers that cause issues. (tier 2 and above get logged; and increase in weight; usually driving bug-fixes and Engineering time)

          The issue is more that no-one has figureud out a way to actually enable good Customer Su

      • The entire premise is wrong. Why should some customers have a secret handshake that grants them reasonable levels of customer service? Why can't everyone get this level of service? Or, more to the point, why doesn't everyone get this level of service?

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by schnell ( 163007 )

          Or, more to the point, why doesn't everyone get this level of service?

          Not to defend Comcast here, because they do have shitty customer service generally. But the state of customer service is what it is because people generally aren't willing to pay for more. Better service = hiring more reps and/or building better customer service tools = more costs which will be passed on to the customer. Sure, they could be Good Guys and decide to spend more on customer care and not increase your bill to do it - but honestly what consumer services company out there ever does that?

          You can ge

          • "But the state of customer service is what it is because people generally aren't willing to pay for more."

            Even if they're willing to pay more: In most locations the choices are Comcast or Comcast.

            That's no incentive to keep prices low OR to provide decent customer service. Monopolies naturally tend to "shaft the customer" attitudes.

            The irony is that PUCs - setup to prevent that kind of issue - are aiding and abetting this kind of thing.

      • The story is BS. Every employee at Comcast gets 3 cards a year. The idea is that if you see or hear someone who's having a problem, you can give them a card and they get a better experience.

        You assume that there is only one type of card. Perhaps certain employees get a different type of card, to be given only to political influencers.

        • Comcast is all about not making exceptions; it complicates business and handling.
          Top Engineering ands VPs are treated the same way as Call Center reps; at least when it comes to all the details of initial pay, vacation, benefits, cards, tools, etc.
          Now, the Skilled staff get additional items added on, but these are hacked in.
          To minimize internal costs, means getting everything onto the same systems, no special cases, and nothing un-audited.

          In our division, I have seen, usually near end of year when VPs and E

          • Needless to say, I'm not discounting that the lobbying arm of the company has added benefits, and have access to much more influential tools.
            But the Make It Right cards still relies on existing Customer Support infrastructure.
            There's no room in that particular system to allow for any real exceptions to give preferencial/better service.

            If you go to high in the support chain, your problem won't get solved because of triaging, and work-load, and now issues are being managed by Scrum and Project Managers; and t

    • Verizon in NYC had a similar help line escalation.

      When I moved to a new apartment, and switched my phone, it didn't work and they couldn't get it working for a month. (Probably because they were trying to get rid of their land lines in favor of fiber optic, so they let their twisted pair maintenance crew decline.)

      I was dealing with the usual tech support hell (on hold for half an hour, transferred call and dropped, supervisors who promised to return my call and never did, etc.).

      Finally I called somebody by

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by Lumpy ( 12016 )

      The story is BS. All employees do not get the cards to hand out. I have several friends that still work at Comcast, and none of them have the cards or have heard of them before this story broke.

    • I worked for Comcast at one point, and everyone gets the cards (only a limited number) and you do go to a higher support agent when calling in.

  • And it's not like NBC killed the show. They just changed hosts.

    I don't see how that amounts to Comcast wrecking NBC's ability to do real news.

    • He was never prosecuted, because he is anti-gun. However, he possessed a high capacity magazine in DC. Doing it on TV he should have been arrested immediately after and maybe allowed to negotiate a low jail term and fine. However, he was never even charged much less prosecuted. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/08/david-gregory-prosecution-magazine-clip-angry-response_n_2648295.html [huffingtonpost.com].

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by khallow ( 566160 )

        Doing it on TV he should have been arrested immediately after and maybe allowed to negotiate a low jail term and fine.

        Against a well-funded defense? More likely, the law would have been ruled unconstitutional.

  • Bloody Innovative (Score:5, Interesting)

    by skegg ( 666571 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @03:19AM (#48658337)

    Disgusting, but very innovative way to generate a reality-distortion field around their true customer service.

    • Re: (Score:1, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward

      The airlines are way ahead of Comcast. They've maintained lists of important people they want to keep happy since time immemorial. Their systems automatically flag VIPs' reservations so employees know to give influential people special treatment.

      Slashdot protip: If you want airlines to stop treating you like an animal, change your name to a famous person's name.

      • Re:Bloody Innovative (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Impy the Impiuos Imp ( 442658 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @10:21AM (#48659603) Journal

        Notably Hollywood people, lest one appear on a talk show and casually drop the terrible service they received on airline X, costing the company millions.

        There was a pregnant woman in Detroit who, while boarding a plane, was shoved violently aside by such an airline goon, striving to get to the Hollywood person aboard already to serve them. As it turns out, the pregnant woman happened to be a columnist for the Detroit Free Press.

        It didn't go so well for the airline.

    • Re:Bloody Innovative (Score:5, Funny)

      by ProfessionalCookie ( 673314 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @09:39AM (#48659411) Journal
      We can call it the "Comcast Support Fast-Lane"

    • The real customers are the big wigs. The average subscriber are just income source.

  • Ob XKCD (Score:4, Insightful)

    by plover ( 150551 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @03:21AM (#48658339) Homepage Journal

    I hope the secret code is 'shibboleet'.

    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Ob XKCD 806 [xkcd.com]

  • isn't that the taste of the internet fast lane? (Score:3)

    by crispytwo ( 1144275 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @03:42AM (#48658389)

    You get service if you have a card, otherwise you are to use the oh-so-helpful forums.
    Oh wait, you have to have working internet before you can get there! Better hope you have a card!

  • The cards may also be used to fast track money from Comcast's other customers straight into the pockets of the politician.

  • Has anyone gotten a card that keeps your internet connection running without interruptions and at advertised capacity? I'd also like a card that makes them lower their prices to the level that they would be at if they weren't selling a monopoly utility. Thanks~~

  • I Read it on the IntardWebz.... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by jvp ( 27996 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @04:31AM (#48658525)

    ...and therefore, it must be true.

    Yes, every employee is given these cards, but no they do nothing to "fast track" support. What they do is help a customer get more help and final resolution to issues that they typical tier 1 and 2 tech support can't help with. It is an admission that their tech support sucks, but it's not some special pass to get a customer something they don't otherwise deserve. Nor are they used for bribery purposes.

    Basically, the original story is full of shit. But that's not terribly surprising around here, sometimes.

    For the record, I'm a former Comcast employee and am not in any way defending their practices.

    • Re:I Read it on the IntardWebz.... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by NicBenjamin ( 2124018 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @06:27AM (#48658807)

      If used properly they should probably be given to newish customers who have a difficult problem the front-line support guys will need to escalate to Tier 2 anyway. But these ones were being handed out to important people solely because those people are important, so I'd say they're by definition being used for "bribery purposes."

      The bribe here isn't in the fact that Rep. Jackass and Sen. Blowhard have actually been given something great normal people don't have access to, it's that Jackass and Blowhard think they've been given access to something great normal people don't have. That's a hell of an ego boost, and it'll make those two guys a lot more sympathetic to the guy who handed them the card. In many ways it's the ideal bribe -- in monetary terms it's worth virtually nothing (maybe $10), but it's recipients probably think it's worth a lot because they think it will allow them to totally bypass the most hated customer service system in the country.

    • > What they do is help a customer get more help and final resolution to issues that they typical tier 1 and 2 tech support can't help with.

      Since the Tier 1 and Tier 2 guys are are typically useless, this is, in fact, fast tracking support calls. Once it hists the Tier 1 or Tier 2, they're not going to bounce it back down to Tier 1 to walk through all the menus of irrelvavant support questions again.

      I'm afraid the idea. that starting out with the Tier 3 support personnel is not fast tracking such a suppo

      • "Once it hists the Tier 1 or Tier 2, they're not going to bounce it back down to Tier 1 to walk through all the menus of irrelvavant support questions again."

        I can think of (and have experienced) outfits where they do just that.

        • I'm sorry for the typos, my hands are acting up. I'm afraid that "Once it hits the Tier 2 or Tier 3, they're not going to bounce it back down to Tier 1 to walk through all the the irrelevant support questions again" was what I meant to say.

          I'm a bit surprised you've encountered Tier 2 or Tier 3 who bounce it back. The approach I tend to use, and which I encourage others to use, is that "when it hits Tier 2, bring the Tier 1 staffperson over and train them", or have them help rewrite the scripted responses t

          • "I'm a bit surprised you've encountered Tier 2 or Tier 3 who bounce it back."

            The ISPs in question are all UK-based:

            Talktalk
            British Telecom
            Orange.

            Unsurprisingly they're the ISPs with the largest advertising budgets AND bottom of customer satisfaction stakes.

            Whilst the UK has LLU, the reality is that the "big 7" ISPs are all awful and people aren't really aware there are alternatives.

            Additionally they've been heavily sold ISP-based email addreses which act as "lockin" devices. They don't seem to realise they

            • Oh, my. I can see where British IT can have its own special influence on any sampling of customer service policies. I'm afraid the movie "Brazil" is particularly meaningful to those of us who've worked with British Telecom as partners or as clients.

  • It's great! (Score:3)

    by jtownatpunk.net ( 245670 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @04:59AM (#48658595)

    Important people get preferential treatment all the time. I've got a nice chunk of change stored at my bank. Ever since I put it there, my customer service calls have been diverted directly to Executive Customer Service. I don't even have to do anything. My phone number is linked to my account so my calls go straight there, picked up by Frank or Veronica in Texas before the third ring. I rarely need to call them but it's nice not to sit in a queue like a schmuck listening to hold music warble in and out.

    And what's the deal with hold music? Why is it always distorted and fading in and out? Shouldn't we be able to fix that by now?

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by wbr1 ( 2538558 )
      It is distorted and fading in and out because somewhere (perhaps multiple somewheres) along its path it is being compressed with a lossy compression designed for human vocal ranges and not muzak. When the system was mostly analog, this did not happen, however high and low frequencies were cut, resulting in a tin-cannish sound if you listened for it.

      • I know the difference between compression and sound disappearing then coming back. And compression doesn't create warbly flanging effects. :rolleyes:

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by wbr1 ( 2538558 )
          This is not your run of the mill ogg or mp3 codec. These codecs are typically VBR (variable bit rate), this means that the level of compression varies based on what the codec and network conditions dictate. If you swing the bitrate enough you WILL hear changes in volume and quality that sound like a flanging effect.
          http://www.voiceage.com/Audio-... [voiceage.com]
          http://www.voip-info.org/wiki/... [voip-info.org]
          You can :rolleyes: when you know more than just bb smiley code. Until then, hand in your geek creds please.

  • To hide the bad service regular people get? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Roodvlees ( 2742853 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @05:00AM (#48658597)
    So they know their service is crappy. But instead of improving it, which would require actual work, they hide it from the people who make decisions. Every person that accepts one of these cards and does not put it online for public use is corrupt. But I guess being corrupt is normal in the US.

    • Re:To hide the bad service regular people get? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Trailer Trash ( 60756 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @10:01AM (#48659499) Homepage

      So they know their service is crappy. But instead of improving it, which would require actual work, they hide it from the people who make decisions. Every person that accepts one of these cards and does not put it online for public use is corrupt. But I guess being corrupt is normal in the US.

      I spent 10-15 hair-pulling minutes yesterday with my 71 year old stepfather (whom I otherwise love dearly) as I, well, let me start from the beginning.

      He called and said "We've broken flash on both Macs and can't watch youtube videos now. I've installed it twice on your mom's Mac but it didn't help."

      So, I explained that 1) they didn't break anything, flash quits working automatically when it's outdated and waits for you to update it and 2) he didn't "install" it, he merely downloaded it and these two actions are not the same thing.

      He apparently couldn't figure out where to download it from and I didn't want him to wander to some web site that would purport to give him flash while giving him something else so I sent him the official link from Adobe. So he went to that link.

      I did, too, just so I would know what he would see. I asked if it popped up the box about downloading flash and he assured me that it didn't. He started getting frustrated around this point. (Note that it actually had downloaded and he hadn't paid attention to what he clicked). It was here that he claimed that his only option was to pay $9.99/month for "something called PS and LR - I have no idea what that is" (it's "Photoshop and Light Room" for those wondering).

      I'll spare you some pain and just say that he finally found the download, which is in some popup thing on the dock at the bottom. He couldn't figure out how to open it and claimed that when he clicked it it wouldn't do anything. I tried to get him to drag it to the desktop but it finally just opened. I doubt he clicked on it the first 10 times he claimed that he did.

      Now, at this point he is looking at the installer for the easiest piece of software in the world to install. He cannot proceed as there is no option to proceed. I ask him to tell me what he sees and (it's different than mine - no idea why - maybe because I have Yosemite) he says something about some license and there's a quit button. Oh, wait, there's an install button but it's black and I can't use it. So he clicks "quit" and says "well, it went away and isn't doing anything".

      I asked him what he did and he said "I clicked the quit button, I couldn't do anything else and that doesn't seem to be doing anything".

      I convince him to open it back up. I tell him there has to be something else to click. Then he says "there's a bunch of stuff!". I ask him if the browser is open and he replies "well, I don't know but there's a bunch of stuff." I suspect that he's clicked on the license stuff and it's showing it in a browser and he then begins reading the section headings for the license. I tell him "you're in the browser, you need to close it" but he's frustrated and pissed at this point so he begins talking louder over me as he continues to read section headings and then starts to tell me the url. I tell him again "you're in the browser and need to close it" and he finally listens and closes it.

      At this point my blood pressure is "high over dangerous". He's back at the window where he can only quit. I ask him "isn't there a box to check to say you've agreed to their license?" and he finally says "oh, yeah" and clicks it and then "I can click install now". I actually expect it to not work but he clicks it and it works.

      I cannot get my 10 minutes back.

      Imagine that over and over and over and over again for 8 hours.

      It doesn't make sense for Comcast to put experienced tech support people on the front lines because dealing with crap like that doesn't require a lot of knowledge. Comcast has a pretty good monitoring system and they know when their stuff isn't working 99% of the time. Most of their calls are probably

      • He called and said "We've broken flash on both Macs and can't watch youtube videos now. I've installed it twice on your mom's Mac but it didn't help."

        Could be a lot worse. I emailed my mom a screenshot and she replied, "How did you do that?" I wrote back saying, "I have a Mac and don't know how to do it on a PC like you have, but if you Google 'windows screenshot' you'll find something that will tell you." Two days later I get a call: "I did what you said and now my computer runs slow and has all these st

  • The cards they do nothing (Score:5, Funny)

    by ourlovecanlastforeve ( 795111 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @07:20AM (#48658959)

    Hi, former Comcast support representative here.

    Those cards do nothing, they're just placebos.

    You dial the support number and punch in the code, and the switch drops you right into the same queue with everyone else.

    At the call center we called them "idiot cards" because you'd have to be one to think they were any benefit to you.

    We usually handed them out ironically to the least deserving customers.

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by wbr1 ( 2538558 )
      The cards may do nothing, but they ARE a placebo. And being used to influence the idiots who have the power to stop abusive and monopolistic behavior. Therefore they DO have a use, and not a good one.

    • At the call center we called them "idiot cards" because you'd have to be one to think they were any benefit to you.

      "Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

  • We need to see if there is any difference between the cards that are given to regular workers to hand out and the cards that the government-affairs team hands out. No difference, no problem. Difference, problem.

  • It's true (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Everyone has them. And anyone can receive them. A friend got one after he had 3 technicians come to his house to diagnose a weak TV signal. My company got one after our first call for a modem that was dropping packets. There's no conspiracy here. It's actually Comcast trying to do something nice.

  • The cards are not handed out to EVERY Comcast employee. I used to be one, my wife is one and I know several. Never seen a card.

  • Would one of these cards fix my billing errors? We just changed our service to a better & cheaper plan holding the "change to another provider club" over their head. It helps a little but we still pay too much IMO. They came in with the new X1 boxes with a new DVR & gateway & all installed by a typical cable guy. Internet lasted a few hours & started failing. I figured it was a bad box, went to a center & changed it out to a non-X1 gateway & it worked. 6 days later a new tech

  • Monkeyboy should have never been the host (Score:3)

    by cat_jesus ( 525334 ) on Tuesday December 23, 2014 @10:43AM (#48659733)
    Monkeyboy(David Gregory) was a horrible host of Meet the Press. Chuck Todd isn't an improvement. The entire show is just a group handjob.
  • So what you're saying is that an ISP is creating a "fast lane". I'm sure that this is for everyone's benefit, and will continue to encourage them to increase their overall support capacity while ignoring the monetization/influence effects it might have.
  • To reiterate Roodvlees' point, the giving of the cards and the receiving of the cards is corruption. It may not be obvious what the dollar value is immediately, but if you count up the time saved by the politically-connected recipients when they get expedited service, then it almost certainly would exceed Federal standards for gifts.

  • If I were a Comcast or Verizon etc employee, I'd keep the priority cards for myself to use when I have a problem. I doubt they'd give most of their employees enough codes to handle all their comms problems.

  • And if you don't have any VIP cards, then you know what class you are in.

    • Real VIPs don't need cards. People know who they are already.

      • Over the telephone?

        *ring*ring* This guy sounds exactly like Warren Buffett! I better solve his tech support problems right away.

        I'm in the middle class. I don't know who the VIPs are in my culture, and would not be able to identify them unless they all wore name badges. This is probably because I don't give a shit.

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