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Google Rewards Employees Returning to Office with Private Lizzo Concert (cnbc.com) 158

Posted by EditorDavid from the I'm-feeling-lucky dept.
As an apparent reward for returning to the office, thousands of Google employees were treated to a private Lizzo concert at the Shoreline Amphitheatre near Google's headquarters, reports CNBC: Google implemented a return-to-office policy starting in early April, requiring employees to go to physical facilities at least three days a week. Staffers pushed back on the mandate and the prospect of navigating traffic jams, after they worked efficiently for so long at home while the company enjoyed some of its fastest revenue growth of the past 15 years....

Google had delayed its return plans on multiple occasions, due mostly to surges in Covid-19 case numbers. But this time, the company stuck to its reopening schedule. In the early days back, employees were greeted with marching bands on campus, as well as photo booths, celebratory food and visits from prominent politicians.

"Thank you for being back!" Lizzo said. "Thank you for surviving! Google, we back, bitch!!" [...] She inserted the company's name into her popular song "Boys," changing the lyrics from "I heard you a freak, too" to "I heard you a freak, Google!"
After two and a half years "of protecting others and ourselves but also being very disconnected," Lizzo told the crowd, "It's so incredible to see how connected we are right now!" CNBC reports.

Someone in the crowd shouted back, "Propaganda! Propaganda!"
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Google Rewards Employees Returning to Office with Private Lizzo Concert More

Google Rewards Employees Returning to Office with Private Lizzo Concert

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  • Wait - what? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Ol Olsoc ( 1175323 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:07PM (#62495134)
    I would consider a Lizzo concert something my employer would do to punish me.

    • Re:Wait - what? (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:11PM (#62495140)
      What the hell even is a Lizzo?

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by NFN_NLN ( 633283 )

        A strong independent birthing person.

        • A strong independent birthing person.

          A morbidly obese life endangering body positive entertainer.

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by AmazingRuss ( 555076 )
        A gelatinous ambulatory planetoid.

      • Re: (Score:3)

        by suss ( 158993 )

        The worst thing to happen to Saturday Night Live since Elon Musk.

        • Saturday Night Live has been horrendous for decades. The Musk thing was probably good for their ratings.
          • It was always bad, there were just periods where it was less bad. When you contrast it against the backdrop of other "network programming" on broadcast TV it may have seemed good, but it wasn't.

        • The worst thing to happen to Saturday Night Live since Elon Musk.

          Oh, I don't know about that.

          His "explanation" of Dogecoin was hysterical! And true.

      • This is a Lizzo https://media.vogue.co.uk/phot... [vogue.co.uk]

      • it's a Lizard...

      • The lizzou (Commonwealth spelling) or lizzo (American spelling; see spelling differences) is the base unit of cringeness in the International System of Units (SI). The SI unit symbol is Lz. The lizzo is currently defined as the exact amount of cringeness caused by the Google return to the office surprise concert

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by argStyopa ( 232550 )

        She is a moderately talented black female singer who vaulted to prominence in the wake of Prince's death, as a collection of local Mpls artists claimed she somehow inherited his 'mantle' because he'd coached/sponsored her (he did this for at least scores, possibly hundreds of local Twin Cities artists, mostly in secret - he was an astonishingly generous guy) AND because the city was still reeling from the George Floyd murder the year before and local media was /desperate/ to find a melanin-advantaged icon t

        • She is a moderately talented black female singer who vaulted to prominence in the wake of Prince's death, as a collection of local Mpls artists claimed she somehow inherited his 'mantle' because he'd coached/sponsored her (he did this for at least scores, possibly hundreds of local Twin Cities artists, mostly in secret - he was an astonishingly generous guy) AND because the city was still reeling from the George Floyd murder the year before and local media was /desperate/ to find a melanin-advantaged icon to show how righteously diverse they could be.

          The fact that she's morbidly obese just adds to her "bravery" in that metric.

          She IS talented, nobody can take that away from her.
          But instead of a up and coming artist working like hell to climb the ladder, this boost has has sort of morphed her straight into divahood and annyoingness.

          Also, don't click on
          https://www.news.com.au/entert... [news.com.au]

          Thanks for her backstory! I didn't know any of that about her or Prince. . .

          But if I were her, booked into doing a Corporate Gig at this point in her career, if I were her, I'd immediately fire my Agent!

      • I wondered the same thing so I googled the song mentioned in the summary and it's terrible.

        https://youtu.be/HQliEKPg1Qk [youtu.be]

    • Re:Wait - what? (Score:5, Funny)

      by h33t l4x0r ( 4107715 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:37PM (#62495202)
      Yes, the ones that don't return get 2 Lizzo concerts
    • At least it's an expensive 'reward' of negative value; so you get to suffer and know that whatever it cost to get Lizzo in [i]could[/i] have just been allocated to things that all the returning employees would definitely appreciate, like those green gift certificates the US Treasury issues.

      At least with useless cheap tat like company-branded stress balls you have the vague comfort of knowing that the exercise was about concealing how little they are actually willing to spend on morale by giving it in kin
    • If I was on the fence Iâ(TM)d be working from home for sure. Talk about corporate cringe.

    • Agreed, that is not a reward. Googlers should be looking for other jobs, ASAP.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

        The very first episode of Silicon Valley parodied this. The company hires Kid Rock to perform, but the engineering staff are uninterested and Mr. Rock is displeased with the lacklustre reception.

        • That wasn't really a parody, it's been a "trend" in Silicone Valley to hire washed-up performers for company gigs for quite a while, and the vast majority of the time the managers picking the entertainer have no clue what their employees would actually be interested in.

          • That wasn't really a parody, it's been a "trend" in Silicone Valley to hire washed-up performers for company gigs for quite a while, and the vast majority of the time the managers picking the entertainer have no clue what their employees would actually be interested in.

            It is surprisingly hard these days. Pop culture stinks like week old Mackerel in a hot car, comedians who are actually funny are hated by the woke crowd. It's a basic bad idea to hire entertainers in the workplace.

    • Re: (Score:3)

      by alantus ( 882150 )
      I guess they really want employees to stay home.

      • I guess they really want employees to stay home.

        2022 pop culture is icky. The best term I can think of. Icky.

        Although - hear me out - oil wrestling between Amber Heard and Marjorie Taylor Green. I was originally going to say AOC, but she wouldn't be a punishment to see no matter what one's politics are.

    • Naomi Judd canceled at the last moment.

      • Naomi Judd canceled at the last moment.

        And Lizzo couldn't run away fast enough..

        Ohhh, I'm going to hell now.

    • I would consider a Lizzo concert something my employer would do to punish me.

      LOLOL!!!

      She's actually a talented Floutist; but...

      • I would consider a Lizzo concert something my employer would do to punish me.

        LOLOL!!!

        She's actually a talented Floutist; but...

        It is a shame that the Body Positive movement is encouraging women to suffer premature death, as well as other issues like destruction of their knees, diabetes, and gall bladder problems.

        It's like touting the positive effects of Metaphetamine use, and triggering over anyone who mentions it is self destructive.

    • Exactly. It's a punishment. However, the real purpose is to funnel money to the woke crowd.

      • Exactly. It's a punishment. However, the real purpose is to funnel money to the woke crowd.

        I believe that is correct. Perhaps they can get Amber Turd H^H^H^H^H^H^H Heard to give a motivational speech about getting along with others while they are at it.

  • The hell with a concert (Score:5, Insightful)

    by marcle ( 1575627 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:20PM (#62495158)

    How about doubling my salary?

  • How much real estates do Google management personally owned? Are they steering company policy for the purpose of boosting the value of their own portfolio, at the expense of the company both in terms of extra cost and in terms of employee morale? Is that a conflict of interest? Could Google shareholders sue those managers?

    • The reason why is Google paid 1 billion for their campus and accounting is crying about it

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by khchung ( 462899 )

        The reason why is Google paid 1 billion for their campus and accounting is crying about it

        That's already paid for and it won't magically create revenue even if everybody sudden started coming into the office.

        Maybe Google management could use some of their creativity and come up with some good use for it. I don't know, maybe something GOOD instead of something evil, such as making part of it into a rent-free apartments for some of their employees who cannot afford the rent to live nearby? Perhaps that could encourage some of them to come into the campus, eh?

        • That's already paid for and it won't magically create revenue even if everybody sudden started coming into the office.

          If they don't justify it then they have to admit that it was a big fuckoff waste of money in their annual report, because if they don't they will be buttfucked by the SEC — Which is indirectly partially funded by civil penalties, which go to the treasury — they don't go into a special SEC fund or anything, but nobody is failing to do the math when budgeting the SEC either. And if they admit that in their annual then their shareholders will use it against them.

      • I know people who don't want to go to the office are spreading this conspiracy theory, but it's much cheaper to sell off or sublease the campus than to force people to the office for no other reason than to justify the expense. Even companies who lease space, which is most of silicon valley companies, who would save money by having workers be productive at home still want some return to the office. This means there is a reason other than real estate to want workers to talk to each other.

  • Not just avoiding traffic jams (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Tim the Gecko ( 745081 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:24PM (#62495166)

    they worked efficiently for so long at home while the company enjoyed some of its fastest revenue growth of the past 15 years....

    I'm sure the employees were working efficiently (I'm a remote worker myself), but the fast revenue growth came from everyone else being at home.

  • Lots of Indians and Chinese. I'm sure they all listen to Lizzo at home.

  • and the punishment (Score:5, Insightful)

    by fche ( 36607 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @08:53PM (#62495256)

    Those not returning the office were punished by watching TWO LIZZO CONCERTS.
    Punishment will increase until morale improves.

  • What the hell is a lizzo

  • Nice gesture (Score:5, Insightful)

    by iamacat ( 583406 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @09:52PM (#62495358)

    I am as cynical as they come about Silicon Valley these days, but don't see a single thing wrong with the concert. Don't like the singer? Big deal, enjoy food and drinks and head home when you had enough. The company is probably majority Gen-Z at this point and they seem to like Lizzo. Want remote work options? Sure, but this has nothing to do with the concert to celebrate people being able to come to work if they want.

    Bottom line, every successful company needs to impress it's employees with a grand gesture like renting out entire Shoreline once in a while. This has been missing lately, hopefully empty headquarters for the past couple of years plus great resignation got corporate leaders clued in.

    Heckler is an ungrateful troll and I don't want his help with any serious concerns about big tech or pandemic lockdowns.

    • Money talks. A concert is some patronizing bullshit. Divide up the cost of that and apply it to the paychecks.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by iamacat ( 583406 )

        Well designed non-monetary benefits are worth more to employees than their cash value. For example buying out a concert is much cheaper per attendee than everyone buying tickets commercially. Of course not everyone likes the same artists, but this is counterbalanced by, for example, young singles who may not go to a concert alone and are much happier going with coworkers.

        • Re: (Score:3)

          by dynamo ( 6127 )

          Right, because I've always dreamed of going to a concert with my co-workers. One I was supposed to go to to show company spirit, regardless of who was singing, even if I hated them. Sounds awesome.

        • Well designed non-monetary benefits are worth more to employees than their cash value.

          Oh great, I just spit my drink out on my screen reading that one...

          Seriously?

          I mean, the ONLY reason people show up and work is for MONEY....

          If we had enough of it to live the lifestyles we wanted without having to work for money, we would not be there working.

          So, sorry, I don't buy that. That's propaganda from cheap bosses.

          • Seriously?

            Yes.

            I mean, the ONLY reason people show up and work is for MONEY....

            But money isn't the only reason you turn up to that particular job rather than a different job.

            The marginal (i.e. derivative) value of money isn't constant: the more you have the less a constant extra amount is worth to you personally. $2000 could cover the next months rent and add a substantial buffer of safety for someone on low income. That's a huge life impact. For a tech bro, that's an upgrade a different seat covering in th

            • You have this weird false dichotomy where the only choices are everything must be money or absolutely nothing must be.

              That's really not a false dichotomy when it comes to the workplace under capitalism. You are literally only going there because of money. Literally everything the typical employer does is because of money. They think it will help them make more of it. If they are trying to make employees happy it is not because they are trying to improve the world, but because they think it will improve the bottom line.

              Now is this literally always true? No, some few employers really do care about people who work for them. B

            • But money isn't the only reason you turn up to that particular job rather than a different job.

              Err...yes it is.

              If a different job pays more, I'd be switching. There's no such thing is loyalty from company to employee anymore....so, there is not loyalty from employee to company either.

              Besides...I contract, I go to where the $$ is.

              Look I can sum it up easily.

              If I were to win the Powerball tomorrow, with enough to retire on.

              The door would not hit me on the ass as I ran out...I would not work if I had the

          • So why do companies spend so much money on this stuff if it's worthless? Ie, the entire company gets tickets to a new Star Wars movie, the entire theater to ourselves. Or the picnic and concert in the parking lot, the annual Christmas party, etc. Is it wasted money? Are the accountants asleep at the wheel? Or maybe there's some value in getting workers to talk to each other in a friendly way for once, team building, increasing employee retention, etc.

        • Re:Nice gesture (Score:5, Insightful)

          by drinkypoo ( 153816 ) <drink@hyperlogos.org> on Monday May 02, 2022 @08:31AM (#62496090) Homepage Journal

          Well designed non-monetary benefits are worth more to employees than their cash value.

          In theory, I could see that. In practice, it is almost never true.

          For example buying out a concert is much cheaper per attendee than everyone buying tickets commercially. Of course not everyone likes the same artists

          Oh look! You know what's wrong with your example. But then you say something really dumb to try to justify it anyway:

          but this is counterbalanced by, for example, young singles who may not go to a concert alone and are much happier going with coworkers.

          NO IT IS NOT. That is an amazingly fucked up thing to say, because you're dehumanizing workers by treating them as a mass. If I don't like an artist at a company event, that's a pure negative FOR ME. I DO NOT CARE if some OTHER worker likes that artist, and will be happy seeing them. I have to go to the event anyway or I will be seen as antisocial, and now I have to hear some artist I don't want to listen to, and might even actively abhor? Further, your example is about making young single workers happy, when the labor market in general is already prejudiced against older, experienced workers. They are always trying to replace them with someone younger and cheaper. Now you're trying to justify disregarding the wishes of the older workers because it will make some of those young new workers happy. That is literally the same level of thinking that goes on in corporate management.

          What you said is not only wrong right on its face, but it's also morally reprehensible, and indicates a mindset that has been programmed to support corporate oppression. Diva la revolucion!

          There's really only one exception to this rule, and that's food, and THAT only makes sense because it keeps employees in the building, and everybody eats. But even that can easily be overdone, causing resentment in employees who choose not to use it.

          • I would be in the camp who would consider a Lizzo concert a punishment more than a perk.

            I will say, though - when you work with a close-knit group and people generally get along and enjoy their work? Company perks like taking everyone out for dinner and drinks, or to events like indoor go-karting or an arcade environment like Dave & Busters, or maybe even to a shooting range or axe throwing can be a really good time.

            The amount of money it cost, per person, isn't that significant, vs the entertainment va

            • I don't think you have ANY requirement to show up for an event that you really don't want to attend though.

              Whether it's obligatory or not, not attending is going to tend to lead to "othering" in most cases.

            • There's always a contingent of people, and sometimes I'm in them, that just puts some food on the plate, says hello to two people, then heads back to the desk to work. It's mostly engineers. Maybe they're introverts, maybe they have enough stress without taking an hour out of their day when they could be getting caught up, etc. It happens, no one really gets criticized for it if they spend 5 minutes of face time (unless an ex-cheerleader runs HR).

              But I am surprised at times about things I learn when attend

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by mbkennel ( 97636 )

          "Well-designed". An expensive musical concert isn't one of these.

          Quality free coffee and espresso is.

      • No comment on this particular perk, but some employees value their employeer trying to make things better, rather than everything being about money

        • No comment on this particular perk, but some employees value their employeer trying to make things better, rather than everything being about money

          Nope, it's all money.

          Otherwise, if I didn't need to work for money, they'd never see me again. It's the only reason I work.

          If I had all the money I needed, I have MUCH better things to spend my time on.

      • Money talks.

        Money doesn't talk either particularly loud or particularly consistently. Humans are simply not the rational automata that economists so crave. Very few people choose their job or career solely on earning potential.

        Could I have earned more than at my current job? No fukin' clue. This one sounded sufficiently well compensated, interesting to work at and a company I don't have ethical reservations about, so I took it without any shopping around.

        For most people, myself included, money isn't a great

      • Yes, exactly this. I worked for Tivoli just after the IBM acquisition and we had a massive year. I want to say it was the first time they made a billion in sales or something. Our reward was a Lyle Lovett convert. Let me just be the 230847237th person to say, in response, fuck Lyle Lovett. I couldn't even hear the motherfucker, which I guess is great for me since I didn't want to, but using a shit sound system on top of that whole experience was just fucking insulting.

        I'm going to kick a real truth here, wh

        • Under capitalism, there is literally nothing your employer can do that proves they appreciate you except giving you more money, or considerations you have specifically indicated that you personally want which are equivalent to making more money.

          More or less true, but there are certain things that I think *many* employees tend to want or at least appreciate, and it's worth talking about what those things might be. (It's not a free Lizzo concert).

          The first thing might be a physically well-designed work environment-- nice offices, privacy/quiet, availability of coffee and food, etc.

          The second thing-- and this is where it gets very complicated-- *might* be an opportunity to socialize with co-workers (at least, for the subset of workers who want to do

    • Sure, but this has nothing to do with the concert to celebrate people being able to come to work if they want.

      This is an attempt to distract from the reality that Google is drawing a line in the sand: either return to the office, or find another job. There is no "if they want" involved. This is a mandate from the ruling class, not a choice employees get to make (except to choose unemployment).

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by iamacat ( 583406 )

        Most tech companies do have some remote jobs available. This may involve transferring to another product/role or accepting a benefits cut. In some cases this is justified by intrinsic nature of one's tasks, in some cases work from home is arguably a better tradeoff for both company and employee.

        But perks, including grand events, are a separate question from work requirements. Fully work from home teams need occasional get togethers even more to home human side of collaboration. And certainly, most employees

        • BS. All the new agile startups are work at home. If you want top talent you got to do it. The older old fashioned companies can get left behind with the gray hairs

    • Re:Nice gesture (Score:5, Interesting)

      by gernblanston2 ( 6954770 ) on Monday May 02, 2022 @04:49AM (#62495838)
      Lizzo lyrics would get you fired if you said them at Google. She was not appropriate and a double standard

    • I just don't understand why you would throw a musical event as an employee reward at all. Music is super relative to the individual, one person's favorite music is another's absolute headache. Why do an employee appreciation event that is absolutely guaranteed to alienate part of your staff regardless of who you get to play?

      Big deal, enjoy food and drinks and head home when you had enough.

      Yeah, that's not appealing to me at all. I have food and drinks at home, why would I want to travel to a venue featuring music I'm not interested in and deal with parking and all that ha

  • I would expect google to do more than just have some concert as a way to bait people back to the office. Google should be calling employees and asking them what it would take to make them want to come back into the office, then base their response off the feedback. I doubt anyone is going to say, "let me trade in 10 hours a week for a single concert".

  • Bwuh?! (Score:3)

    by Malays2 bowman ( 6656916 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @10:01PM (#62495374)

    I've never heard of "Lizzo", but I would be considered an ancient fossil in a company like Google.

    • I would be considered an ancient fossil in a company like Google, but I have heard WAYYYY too much about Lizzo.

  • And COVID (Score:5, Informative)

    by rsilvergun ( 571051 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @10:11PM (#62495396)
    let's not forget about the COVID. It's not like we still don't have 300+ a day dying.

  • She must really love Google. She probably did the concert for free.

    "Thank you for being back!" Lizzo said. "Thank you for surviving! Google, we back, bitch!!" [...] She inserted the company's name into her popular song "Boys," changing the lyrics from "I heard you a freak, too" to "I heard you a freak, Google!"

    [/sarcasm]. Who does that? Who professes enthusiasm and admiration they don't feel (or actually manufactures these feelings) because someone paid them to do it? There is something gross about this. Though I can't say why (to me at this moment at least) it seems more gross than other performers calling out "let's hear it for Jacksonville" or other professions that pretend enthusiasm.

    • Who does that? Who professes enthusiasm and admiration they don't feel (or actually manufactures these feelings) because someone paid them to do it?

      What? Everyone. When's the last time you had a job you were really proud of? Most of our jobs are fuckoff wastes of time designed to produce profit for fuckfaces who already have way more money than we do, and refuse to share — resulting in a race to the bottom that can only end in torches and pitchforks.

  • Just two years ago... (Score:3)

    by MindPrison ( 864299 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @11:40PM (#62495564) Journal

    ... Google and many other big corporates enjoyed the fact that it was easier to hire people everywhere with remote workers, and many of them (as did our big corporate) found out that efficiency amongst coworkers didn't suffer, in fact - it increased since people could now focus on work undisturbed, and using Zoom and Teams worked fantastic.

    There were a group of people who were less than excited with this development, fluff employees like Managers and HR, all of a sudden they discover that they weren't needed to micromanage every coworker anymore, what should they do now?

    And also, an obedient overworked coworker is less likely to leave the company for a better job or better pay, so in the long run it turns out that it helps the company keeping their employees in line and at low salaries by keeping them in office, stressed and overworked.

    Under the pandemic - coworkers left their workplace like nobodys business, it was a genuine movement, people found more time for their relatives, for themselves, and had options, freedom of choice. When you're busy with the boss looking over your shoulder every waking moment, the employees gets bombarded with how great their company is, how much worse they would be off working somewhere else - not good for business if they work from home, too much freedom to find greener pastures.

    • Managers don't like people working from home. It has nothing to do with efficiency. When people work from home, it is harder to keep track of the competition. Very important when you're trying to climb a ladder.

  • Let's start with a mass-spreader event! (Score:3)

    by hazem ( 472289 ) on Sunday May 01, 2022 @11:54PM (#62495580) Journal

    Let's celebrate the decline in the pandemic with a mass-spreader event to make sure everyone gets sick with every cold and flu virus that's been in low circulation (and covid too)! What could go wrong?!

    We've been "mask mandate free" for about a month now and our kid has been home sick with a different bug every week. Can't wait to take that shit back to my own office. Yay.

  • Unreal. You want people to come back to work after being absent because of a pandemic and you "reward" their presence by trying to get them all infected again in the most efficient way possible. It's astounding.

  • Reward? (Score:2)

    by Chas ( 5144 )

    Lizzo?

    Uhhh.

    Gonna go with Inigo Montoya on this...

    "You keep using that word..."

  • Had they threatened me with such a private concert every once in a while I might be forced to be dragged back to the office. Kicking and screaming.

    Seriously, Google: that amounts to saying that attending that concert (who cares about Private Lizzo, anyway?) will cost employees hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars in transportation. I very much doubt that most Google employees are that stupid.

    Or are they?

  • Min fee $500-900,000.
    https://www.celebritytalent.ne... [celebritytalent.net]

    I have to imagine Google wouldn't be caught dead paying her the minimum, or even faintly trying negotiate her pay down, so I have to expect they're dropping at least $1.5-$2 mil for this gig.

    Pretty sure everyone involved would rather have the $. If they want to spend it on buying Lizzo's music, they could do so.

    But of course, Google wouldn't get woke-points for that, now would they?

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