CERN Is Totally Not Opening a Portal To Hell (usatoday.com) 214
"Ten years on from discovery, there's still a lot left to learn about the Higgs boson!" tweeted a researcher anticipating their experiment on the Large Hadron Collider.
But on Facebook, there's posts calling CERN "a demonic/Evil machine that opens up portals to other dimensions/Hell/other spiritual worlds" and "brings in demons wicked spirits/High Evil Principalities." And USA Today reports that similar posts making that same claim "have amassed hundreds of interactions on Facebook and Twitter." (Their article then goes on to assure readers that "the claim is baseless.")
In fact, USA Today's "Fact Check" feature spent some time investigating the claims of a demonic machine opening portals to hell, and after exhaustive research can report that at this time "There is no evidence scientists at CERN are engaged in anything other than scientific-related activities." Physics experts told USA TODAY scientists use the Large Hadron Collider to collide particles at very high energies to study matter. There is no truth to the claim that scientists at CERN are communicating with demonic entities and using the collider to open up a portal to hell, Dejan Stojkovic, a physics professor at the University at Buffalo, told USA TODAY in an email.
The physics behind his explanation is interesting: "To create a black hole or a wormhole, even microscopic ones, with our current technology, in the context of our standard theories of gravity, we need an accelerator as big as the whole universe," Stojkovic said. "So there is no chance whatsoever to create such a portal at the [Large Hadron Collider]."
"Since these are previously unexplored energies in a controlled environment, we might expect production of some new elementary particles that we did not know if they existed," Stojkovic said. "However, these are microscopic particles, so there is no chance such a portal would open."
Facebook has now attached a warning to its user's post about a demonic machine opening up portals to hell, notifying users that the post contains "False information." (It adds that this assertion has been "checked by independent fact-checkers," linking back to USA Today's article for support.)
USA Today ends its analysis with a definitive summation: Based on our research, we rate FALSE the claim that scientists at CERN are communicating with demonic entities and opening a portal to hell. There is no evidence scientists at CERN are engaged in anything other than scientific-related activities. The collider cannot open up portals to other dimensions. Experts said scientists use the machine to collide particles at very high energies to study matter....
Our fact-check work is supported in part by a grant from Facebook.
Thanks to Slashdot reader Iamthecheese for sharing the story!
But on Facebook, there's posts calling CERN "a demonic/Evil machine that opens up portals to other dimensions/Hell/other spiritual worlds" and "brings in demons wicked spirits/High Evil Principalities." And USA Today reports that similar posts making that same claim "have amassed hundreds of interactions on Facebook and Twitter." (Their article then goes on to assure readers that "the claim is baseless.")
In fact, USA Today's "Fact Check" feature spent some time investigating the claims of a demonic machine opening portals to hell, and after exhaustive research can report that at this time "There is no evidence scientists at CERN are engaged in anything other than scientific-related activities." Physics experts told USA TODAY scientists use the Large Hadron Collider to collide particles at very high energies to study matter. There is no truth to the claim that scientists at CERN are communicating with demonic entities and using the collider to open up a portal to hell, Dejan Stojkovic, a physics professor at the University at Buffalo, told USA TODAY in an email.
The physics behind his explanation is interesting: "To create a black hole or a wormhole, even microscopic ones, with our current technology, in the context of our standard theories of gravity, we need an accelerator as big as the whole universe," Stojkovic said. "So there is no chance whatsoever to create such a portal at the [Large Hadron Collider]."
"Since these are previously unexplored energies in a controlled environment, we might expect production of some new elementary particles that we did not know if they existed," Stojkovic said. "However, these are microscopic particles, so there is no chance such a portal would open."
Facebook has now attached a warning to its user's post about a demonic machine opening up portals to hell, notifying users that the post contains "False information." (It adds that this assertion has been "checked by independent fact-checkers," linking back to USA Today's article for support.)
USA Today ends its analysis with a definitive summation: Based on our research, we rate FALSE the claim that scientists at CERN are communicating with demonic entities and opening a portal to hell. There is no evidence scientists at CERN are engaged in anything other than scientific-related activities. The collider cannot open up portals to other dimensions. Experts said scientists use the machine to collide particles at very high energies to study matter....
Our fact-check work is supported in part by a grant from Facebook.
Thanks to Slashdot reader Iamthecheese for sharing the story!
"A portal to Hell? Ridiculous..." (Score:5, Funny)
"...that would need a much bigger collider. By the way, how's that next round of funding for a bigger collider coming?"
The God Particle (Score:3)
Re: (Score:3)
Common misconception. If God sealed Satan into Hell, it seems logical that God would be the sole individual with the ability to seal and unseal Hell. Therefore, the God particle is likely able to unseal Hell. Scientists create the God particle thereby assuming godly abilities and use said abilities to open Hell and release Lucifer and his host of fallen angels.
End of times right there!
Re:The God Particle (Score:5, Funny)
It has nothing more to do with god than any other particle.
Well, except for the fact that if you are Catholic then the Higgs boson is like god because you can't have mass without it.
Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Insightful)
or is there some other agenda being played out ?
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Funny)
or is there some other agenda being played out ?
Someone's probably trying to sell NFTs.
Re: (Score:3)
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Interesting)
Anybody with the slightest awareness of reality would understand that a door opening to other dimensions would provide for egress for this current horde of demons now in control of most governments of this planet. The Hell we here are facing out of the horrors of global warming and nuclear warfare could not be intensified by a few extra demons from elsewhere.
What makes you think that conservative US citizens who (and let's face it that's where most of the mental sewage like this comes from these days) practice Judeo-Christian culture and who think there are nano-bots in vaccines that re-sequence your DNA and turn you into a 'Demoncrat' have the any significant awareness of reality?
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
"and who think there are nano-bots in vaccines that re-sequence your DNA and turn you into a 'Demoncrat'"
Do you have a link I can follow to see those mental sewage conservatives saying that for myself and share with my friends?
I find your ideas fascinating and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]
Re: (Score:3)
You got called out.
No, all you did was demonstrate your autism. The rest of us understood his post for what is was.
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Stop that. They can’t understand sarcasm.
Re: Do people really believe this crap (Score:2)
That's because they don't speak Daemonic, unlikely you!
It is well known that Sarcasm is one of the Lords of the 12th High Evil Principality and you should not joke about serious matters like that!
Re: Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Interesting)
have amassed hundreds of interactions on Facebook and Twitter.
A conspiracy theory with "hundreds of interactions" on Facebook and Twitter sounds like something on the fringe of fringes. The only agenda here seems to write a random fluff piece, or in the best case a hook to get people to read something about important science.
Or it could be another instance of Discordianism's Operation Mindfuck [fandom.com], one that will hopefully be less successful than the one attributing everything that's wrong with the world to a hidden cabal of Illuminati [youtu.be].
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:5, Insightful)
Sounds to me more like some Christian preacher has found a new and exciting avenue to scare the flock. Can an appeal for money to combat this deadly menace be far behind?
was about to write something similar (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Do people really believe this crap (Score:4, Interesting)
The only agenda here seems to write a random fluff piece
One of the problems with modern social media is evident in this "fluff piece". The bigger underlying issue is that some nutjobs on the fringe of fringes have their conspiracy theories broadcast out to the world for all to see, at least to the point where traditional media is able to pick up on it.
It's not so much of a problem in this case, but it underlines how more dangerous conspiracies spread like wildfire thanks to the microphone afforded to every idiot with an internet connection these days, and because these stories generate clicks they get promoted algorithmically.
Thank god it's only talk about a portal to hell and not that vaccines cause heart failure, or that Biden is a plant by Russia, or that healthcare is an effort by the affluent to sterilise people while they aren't looking.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
It's a marketing stunt for Stranger Things.
Or someone plans to remake Event Horizon.
Re: (Score:2)
Or Doom. Or The Mist. Or...
Re: (Score:2)
Yes, they really do unfortunately (Score:2)
Do people really believe this crap
Yes they do. Somehow for some people seeing a story they like in print causes it to completely by-pass the thinking part of their brain and it goes straight into storage as "something true".
You would not believe (well unless you are one of the people reading this who suffers from this affliction!) the number of times when I was working at CERN and regularly flying transatlantic that the person next to me would vaguely remember the "Angels and Demons" book by Dan Brown and ask why I was flying economy be
Re: (Score:3)
Of course there are people who really believe this crap, and they are lawyered up. Just ask Moderna, Monsanto/Bayer, or General Electric.
Re: (Score:2)
The young people in America these days are *extremely* into conspiracy theories as a sort of cultural fad. It's wrapped up in heavy cynicism about the past, distrust of older people, and ultimately projection by a generation that was raised to be quite manipulative. Whether or not that coincides with global agendas playing out, I'll leave as an exercise for the reader.
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
Yes. Shockingly large numbers of people do, and its 100% on Facebook and Twitter for allowing it to propogate with no regards as to the social chaos they've unleashed by doing so. I sat there in a facebook page watching the LHC reboot event live, and was just appalled at the literally thousands of people in the comments panicking and freaking out about demons / black holes / strangelets / etc. People where reporting terrible illness symptoms that just coincidently matched those from a serious anxiety attack
Re: Do people really believe this crap (Score:2)
Typical US stuff (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Typical US stuff (Score:4, Insightful)
Religion messes everything up. But it seems already messed up people kind of like it, unfortunately.
Re: (Score:2)
The United States becomes less religious every year. Especially when it comes to attendance of churches/temples/mosques. You have no understanding of spiritual life here, much less what it takes to found or operate a theocratic government.
Re: (Score:3)
I do not think you understand what having a Supreme Court run by fanatical evangelicals will do to America. Basically you are the Taliban from this point on. How are those abortion rights going? When do the crazies get permission to throw gay people off tall buildings, it will not be long I am sure.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Comment removed (Score:4, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3)
You absolutely have to be a religious extremist to believe that fertilized eggs are âoebabiesâ, or to believe that women should be forced to carry dead fetuses to term.
I'd go with "misguided" on the former (though there is a huge overlap between "religion" and "life begins at conception" so you may have a point, though one need not be an "extremist") and "monster" on the latter. OTOH, framing the debate in those terms also makes you intellectually suspect--one can be opposed to abortion without being either misguided or a monster.
There is almost no support (outside "monsters") for "make woman carry dead baby until her body naturally expels it or she dies." There is very
Re: (Score:2)
Children as young as 12 have successfully operated motor vehicles and many people 16-21 have consumed alcohol without incident. When are we going to drop the ages for drivers license and drinking?
The question is not "does it have at least a one in a billion chance of becoming a living human being", it's "is it one now". If some madman successfully clones a human dermal cell and manages through heroic medical effort to bring it through full gestation and become a living human baby without resorting to a womb
Re: (Score:2)
The United States becomes less religious every year.
It may be "less than before" but it's still the vast majority.
Re: Typical US stuff (Score:2)
Except in Texas, where two extreme right wing billionaires not named Koch have their own extremist churches and have managed to amass huge influence within the republican party. Their stated goal is a theocracy.
You're really not that far off from a theocracy. Just like people thought a couple could not happen in the USA (but nearly did), this too can happen quite easily.
Re: Typical US stuff (Score:2)
We are far closer to Iran than a democracy.
Re: Typical US stuff (Score:3)
Trump somehow pushed that narrative even farther despite being everything Christianity is supposedly against.
Re: (Score:2)
The United States becomes less religious every year. Especially when it comes to attendance of churches/temples/mosques. You have no understanding of spiritual life here, much less what it takes to found or operate a theocratic government.
Except for the fanatical worship of firearms, it appears to be quite a hypoChristian theocratic government now. And thanks to the current SCOTUS roster, the Religious Right will hold sway for decades to come.
The GOP have become quite adept at minority rule & the Dems are too feckless to block them.
By what year do you expect an atheist to be POTUS?
Re:Typical US stuff (Score:4, Interesting)
US politicians quite often say things like "I prayed for guidance." In the mid 20th century the US adopted a lot of official religious language. The US pledge of allegiance contains the description "one nation under God" and the official motto of the country is "In God we trust."
By some definitions, that already makes the US a theocracy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]
Re: (Score:3)
Most people living under the Taliban were not in favor of it, but it was there and it had guns.
An overwhelming majority of Americans support the right to an abortion, but look at the current mess, not just in the Supreme Court, but in all the state legislatures.
Re: (Score:3)
See the many dirty tricks in the U.S. democratic process. Start with good old Gerrymandering, the effects of a 2 party system, etc.
Re: (Score:3)
They went full MAGA - never go full MAGA...
(Franz?)
Obviously (Score:2)
Plot twist (Score:5, Funny)
It already broke the fabric of reality and we've been existing in a hellish alternate dimension ever since. The dimension that didn't build a LHC? They didn't have a pandemic, solved global warming, cured cancer, and they spend their days having sex while robots do all the work, in a peaceful post-scarcity society.
Re: (Score:2)
Yea but their TV lineup sucks.
Re: (Score:2)
I'd just like to mention (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Where is Ivanova when we need her. It will be hard to find another actress who can play that part.
Oh dear (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3)
Far better to just ignore the fools and their conspiracies, giving them any air just keeps them alive.
You can't ignore them. Not when algorithms push this shit to the top of random people's feeds. You don't need a USA Today article about stupid people for the stupidity to spread these days. At least this article points out it's stupid, you don't get that running Twitter's sort-what-generates-most-clicks.pl
Re:Oh dear (Score:5, Informative)
The stupid thing is that the very act of investigation and refuting the claims, will add fuel to the fire. The conspiracy nut jobs will see it as an attempted cover up. Far better to just ignore the fools and their conspiracies, giving them any air just keeps them alive.
You would think so - and I certainly did. However, the amount of people who believed in Pizzagate, the Birther conspiracy, anti-vaxxer's theories, Infowars' Sandy Hook theories, QAnon, stolen election theories, and many others seem to indicate that assuming people are rational and that idiotic conspiracies should be left alone is futile and even dangerous. Idiots and their theories need to be exposed and fought, not ignored.
Re: (Score:3)
Far better to just ignore the fools and their conspiracies, giving them any air just keeps them alive.
So far, it hasn't kept them away from political control. They've had control of government for thousands of years. Politicians and court witnesses have to swear on oath while placing their hands on a book of those fools' fictional writings.
I wish ignoring them made the world a better place.
Narrative checkers misunderstand (Score:5, Funny)
We're all hoping they're opening up a portal between hell and the real world so we can get OUT.
The mix of clever vs stupid? (Score:2)
I know extremely little about particle physics, I know what a quark is, I know a hadron is two of them and that for ordinary matter, most of the mass comes from two Hadrons, forming the proton and neutron. This is fundamentally basic school level stuff.
But I can take that tiny bit of knowledge and read a high level overview of exactly what it is they are doing at CERN - and I can make a reasonable assumption, using logic and common sense, that it isn't opening a portal to hell. I can't prove that, because I
Re: (Score:2)
Hell was invented by Christianity because they needed a way to assure the faithful that naughty people would get their just rewards in the afterlife after making out like bandits in this life. It prevented the faithful from just saying "Fuck it, I'll be naughty too...and that hottie down the street is too good to ignore."
Re: (Score:3)
The notion of a (potentially) punitive underworld in the afterlife predates Christianity.
Re: (Score:2)
The notion of a (potentially) punitive underworld in the afterlife predates Christianity.
Indeed it does, but if you examine more closely, what occurs in these worlds, is conjured by human imagination, of which it seems cruelty knows no bounds for some.
Each of the horrors depicted in these underworlds, have largely already been used in the "real world" and any that haven't, are simply the worst of human imagination at work.
It all really boils down to "Do as I say, or I will torture you. Failing that, you will be tortured when you die."
Most reasonably well educated people who do not believe in an
Re: (Score:2)
I know extremely little about particle physics, I know what a quark is, I know a hadron is two of them and that for ordinary matter, most of the mass comes from two Hadrons, forming the proton and neutron. This is fundamentally basic school level stuff.
But I can take that tiny bit of knowledge and read a high level overview of exactly what it is they are doing at CERN - and I can make a reasonable assumption, using logic and common sense, that it isn't opening a portal to hell. I can't prove that, because I'm not a particle physicist.
You need to understand all that stuff to know they aren't opening a portal to hell?
Common sense should tell you that religion's "hell" is a fairy tale. QED.
Funny (Score:4, Funny)
>Based on our research, we rate FALSE the claim that scientists at CERN are communicating with demonic entities and opening a portal to hell.
Followed by
>Our fact-check work is supported in part by a grant from Facebook.
Interesting how that disclosure is probably the biggest case for it actually being a portal to hell.
Very trustworthy! (Score:2)
Obviously all nonsense, but "Our fact-check work is supported in part by a grant from Facebook." is not very confidence inspiring...
Not practical anyway (Score:4, Funny)
"To create a black hole or a wormhole, even microscopic ones, with our current technology, in the context of our standard theories of gravity, we need an accelerator as big as the whole universe," Stojkovic said.
And even with the funding for that, the permits would be a nightmare ...
Re: (Score:2)
Some people need a portal to reality, apparently (Score:2)
I mean, reality is not a comic or an SF movie that ignore actually known Physics.
Of course we are working on a portal to hell! (Score:2)
Stop believing that fact checking bullshit, of course we are working on that step to make the world a better place current list of people to be sent to hell via this portal:
- Adolf Hitler's and Sergey Ribbentrop's remains
- Vladimir Putin and Sergey Lawrow
- Kim Jong Un and all the Kim's remains
- Donald Trump
- Rupert Murdoch
- Nicolas Maduro and Hugo Chavez's remains
- Rodrigo Duterte & Little Bong John
- George W. Bush, Jr. along with D. Rummsfeld's remains
- K.A.R.R.
The list would be much much longer, we ha
Re: Of course we are working on a portal to hell! (Score:2)
Dick Cheney is already there running the place.
Fact checked (Score:2)
I, For One, Welcome Our New Demonic Overlords (Score:2)
Unless... (Score:2)
"To create a black hole or a wormhole, even microscopic ones, with our current technology, in the context of our standard theories of gravity, we need an accelerator as big as the whole universe".
Anyone spot the important words there? Anyone?
"...in the context of our standard theories of gravity..."
So rest assured: there is no risk of destroying the Earth, unless our standard theories of gravity are wrong.
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
We can transmute lead into gold.
Re: (Score:3)
Then google it. Was done in the 50s already.
Do not feed the trolls. (Score:2)
Self-inflicted Injury (Score:3)
Okay, nobody in their right mind believed the assertion in the beginning, but you just had to go and undermine your credibility.
Wot, me worry? (Score:2)
People worry about this stuff but are happy to go out and vote for Donald Trump?
(facepalm)
No doubt thats what (Score:2)
Don't Worry (Score:2)
Don't worry, we've still got Bill Murray.
Seriously? (Score:2)
This... errr... babbling by nut-jobs is... errr... taken seriously enough to bother with debunking it?
I guess the /. editors have lost their sanity for good.
I thought they learned their lesson after Black Me (Score:2)
Black Mesa... (Score:2)
I really really hope (Score:2)
That the USA Today fact checker was simply bored and took this on for a lark. The alternative is just too sad to even want to consider.
Does anyone trust fact checkers? (Score:2)
Some of the time I've looked up anything on a fact checking site results have been underwhelming. Most common problem is subtly answering different questions than the one asked. Followed by straight up false assertions where primary sources that directly contradict the assertions are readily available yet the authors elected not to bother checking. Finally general sloppiness including use of loaded language and poor to non-existent citations.
Let's go back to the good old days before the Internet poisoned
Mandela Effect (Score:2)
Well it's likley that LHC has already created a number of "Mandela Effects"
You insensitive clod ... (Score:2)
You should be the first one to welcome demonic entity overlords in the Soviet America....
Slashdot is not Facebook (Score:2)
I do not use Facebook specifically to avoid this kind of nonsense. I don't care what 'hundreds' of idiots on Facebook think. Please leave the contents of the cesspool in the cesspool. This is not news for nerds or stuff that matters.
Just for safety (Score:2)
It wouldn't be a bad idea to keep your crowbar handy. Anything else you might need, you can probably pick up along the way.
Suggestion for adding new quote in Slashdot (Score:2)
"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -- Jeremy S. Anderson"
I think Slashdot could add this one too:
"There are two major products that come out of CERN: Higgs boson and Hell portal. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -- Facebook"
Re: (Score:2)
Yup, the guy on Disney with the electric hair honking on about ancient aliens would probably agree.
Re: (Score:3)
To be clear, the demons are just aliens.
Goa'uld. The word you're looking for is Goa'uld.
Re: Why does everyone have their panties in a wad (Score:2)
I'm sure some are able to separate two modes of thinking. This leads to a lot of mental stress and some issues, though. Internal contradictions are hard to resolve in one brain.
Re: (Score:2)
I'm sure some are able to separate two modes of thinking. This leads to a lot of mental stress and some issues, though. Internal contradictions are hard to resolve in one brain.
Not really. "This universe God created is freakin' awesome. Let's take it apart and see how it works!" is not a complicated mindset.
Re: Why does everyone have their panties in a wad (Score:2)
It is unlikely they adhear to the most fundamentalist dogma. For example a cosmologist isn't going to be able to uncover new understanding if they believe the universe is only several thousand years old.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Satan is the True Lord.
All hail Satan.
You have the quote wrong. The full quote is:
I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
Re: Doom (Score:2)
and Event Horizon.
Re: (Score:2)
Random bit of trivia. That quote is often attributed to PT Barnum, but a number of people argue that he never would have said anything of the sort.
Re: (Score:2)
Dante is awesome, or have you never played Devil May Cry? Who wouldn't want a sculpture of him they could carry around?