Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever (wsj.com) 175
Americans are having a record low amount of sex -- even less than they did during the Covid-19 pandemic -- according to a new study led by researchers at the Institute for Family Studies. WSJ: This continues the downward shift in sexual activity that has been worrying sociologists and psychologists for decades. For the report, called "The Sex Recession," researchers at the IFS analyzed the data on sex and intimacy in the latest General Social Survey produced by NORC at the University of Chicago, which was collected in 2024 and released in May. They found that just 37% of people age 18-64 reported having sex at least once a week, down from 55% in 1990. The decline is even more striking for young adults: Almost a quarter of people age 18-29, or 24%, said they had not had sex in the past year; this is twice as many as in 2010.
Much has been written in recent years about the trend of young people having less sex, attributed to everything from stunted social skills to a rise in internet pornography. Yet the IFS study shows that the same trend holds true for people up to the age of 64, of all sexual orientations, both married and single. (After age 64, there was no significant change in the amount of sex people have, largely because this group reports having sex less frequently to begin with, the researchers said.)
Much has been written in recent years about the trend of young people having less sex, attributed to everything from stunted social skills to a rise in internet pornography. Yet the IFS study shows that the same trend holds true for people up to the age of 64, of all sexual orientations, both married and single. (After age 64, there was no significant change in the amount of sex people have, largely because this group reports having sex less frequently to begin with, the researchers said.)
Dios mio! (Score:2)
Nice to finally be a trend setter (Score:5, Funny)
Jeez, people, catch up! Wake me when you have no sex all the time.
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Only funny mod so far? Story seems to have potential and there seem to be some attempts at humor, but...
Anyway, in my case I didn't think the problem was the "American" part, but just the time thing. Again.
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This no sex anymore thing is yet another example of why Trump is representative of Americans.
A non-paywalled article (Score:5, Informative)
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Something does seem to be happening, though its hard to tell from the linked piece what it is, just because sexual activity declining must be an indicator of something. But what?
A start is where the decline is happening - and the answer from the article seems to be everywhere in the US - married, single, all ages.
The logical next step would be to find whether its happening across all countries, all religions. Is it happening to gays as well as heteroxexuals? Is it different in gay men and gay women? Is it
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Is it different in gay men and gay women? Is it related to declines in other kinds of social interaction?
Just anecdotally based on where I live, most of the gay nightclubs clubs closed down in recent years. I'd assume that's because people are using hookup apps instead of going out. It's entirely possible that without the social lubricant of alcohol, less people are getting lucky via the apps.
That being said, I'm in a committed monogamous relationship, so that's all entirely just conjecture on my part. I haven't been in the dating scene in an eternity.
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We're busy all the time, and a lot of that time is with things that make us really fucking angry or stressed: work, traffic, the infinite social obligations that are probably bullshit but we feel we need to do to survive (business networking, our fucking gym memberships, that friend who always wants to do something stupid), and for those not single, don't even get me started on all the things we're pressured to do for our kids.
We get home and we're angry and have 10 minutes before it's time to go to bed and
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It's pretty simple - we're busy trying to make ends meet.
Raising a kid is expensive. Owning a house is a dream that may go unfulfilled for many people. And job insecurity basically means to not commit to anything.
A kid is an 18 year commitment. In the past 18 years we've seen numerous recessions and job losses - 2008 would be a big one, followed by the 2020 pandemic. But layoffs hit heavy and big as well, 2020 there were obvious layoffs, followed by 2023-2024 and continuing into 2025.
One of the unintended c
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Yet your own ancestors, say, 50 generations before you, lived as peasants in abject squalor, barely making ends meet if at all, plus there was no security of any sorts for them - wars, famines, rebellions, plagues were a constant occurrence. But they still popped out kids like there was no tomorrow.
The modern society has become too egotistical. Everyone has his own pursuit of personal happiness as top priority. And that's why we're walking the way of the Dodo. If humanity is lucky, we will be replaced. If n
Lacking definitions (Score:3)
"Sex" is a word that includes a lot of different activities. There's sex with partners, which may or may not include penetration, and then there's solo sex. There's sex without orgasm, and orgasm with very little other activity. There's sex for procreation, and sex that avoids it. In fact, when you study the subject (a study I thoroughly enjoy), there's such a vast variety of ways humans indulge in sex, and their appetite for that activity, that there's no meaningful "norm."
It's too bad clickbait headlines like this perpetuate common misunderstandings, but hey, it sells.
Re:Lacking definitions (Score:4, Insightful)
I think that your post is more symptomatic with the issue than anything else, to be honest. Everything is getting overly complicated.
No, sex is just sex. When a man and a woman (genders can be shuffled at random) get frisky in bed, it's sex. That's it.
Life lost a bit of its taste because everything is now labeled, categorized, planned, monetized, judged and archived for future reconsideration when the zeitgeist changes.
Sex is just sex. And people are having less of it. In fact, people seem to be doing less of everything and have less of everything. The gray, monotone plastic life of modern society seems to be draining everyone of everything.
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Masturbation with others and consensual molestation???
I don't know what the heck you mean by that those signs like self contradictory terms.
2 or more people, 1 or more orgasm. No need to overcomplicate it. Without the first condition, it's just a wank. Without the second it's not even that.
Sex with an American??? (Score:5, Funny)
Well, to be fair, who would really want to have sex with an American? /s
Testosterone and other factors (Score:3)
While this is by no means anywhere near all factors but when men wear tight undies with overheated balls, when they become obese and less active their testosterone and fertility is affected significantly.
Now if you look at what kind of men most women find "hot" and or "sexy" they are almost universally not obese.
So ouside of the cost of living, the difficulty of raising children, toxic mascuinity, female selectivity etc there's this seriously BIG issue in the US about weight and it affects all levels of society.
So yeah, they are having less sex and the UK is following closely in their footsteps...now Japan is a country of relatively healthy weight people but they are also having less sex for other unhealthy reasons...and you may find that this is similar in countries with high levels of stress.
it's almost as if natural selection is at work. When partners are not promising good genes, when costs are too high to raise kids, when there's too much social stress these are all factors that weigh heavily of just having sex.
Big side step here is procreation but there;s also female education at work. eg smarter women don't like to spread their legs for just any schmo and most women think 75% of men are schmos
In conclusion, if you're a man that wants to have lots of sex but you're broke, fat, old and or stressed I hope for your sake you're really funny because let me tell you, most women do not care for brains.
P.S.
Let's face it, most young healthy men 18-40 can have sex once a day every day for many years. So once a week is kinda lame...but with life, kids etc it's sorta bearable.
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If 75% of women think your average guy is unfit for a partner, then the problem is clearly women. Your average woman is perfectly acceptable for your average man. That's the point of average.
I blame the Internet. It's the one thing that consistent across all age groups and demographics. We're constantly being slammed with negativity about the economy, about the climate and these days the battle of the sexes has really taken a nasty turn. Furthermore, we have all these low-friction ways to ignore each other,
Depression (Score:5, Insightful)
Might be linked to the ongoing epidemic of depression. Those who are depressed, tend not to engage.
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Indeed. Many of the older antidepressants had this effect. Thankfully, some of the newer ones don't. Unfortunately, many of them are still under patent and very expensive.
Could it be because nearly everyone is so fat? (Score:5, Funny)
Over the last 40 years or so the number of obese Americans has risen more than 80%. Everywhere you look. It used to be that a "big" guy was 180 pounds and now it is is common to see sixth graders that weigh more than that and it is mostly all fat. The girls are even worse.
Of course there are still people around who are not obese. You can find them in sport clubs and other venues where such people congregate. But they are the minority now.
Obese is unhealthy. Your genes are programmed see healthy people as attractive sex partners. When you are surrounded by bulgy, sagging, smelly, diabetic, wheezing specimens dressed in tent-like garments because nothing else will fit then of course your libido isn't going to be triggered. Assuming it doesn't shut down altogether.
I am way past the age where that is a concern to me but I get out now and then if only to go shopping. Maybe to a fair or theater or something like that. Often there are days when I don't see a single person out of hundreds I would be attracted to and not only that, would never have been attracted to even in my horniest days decades ago.
There are of course other contributing factors to the trend, but this one doesn't get enough weight (pun intended) in the discussion.
Re:Could it be because nearly everyone is so fat? (Score:5, Insightful)
If anything I suspect it's dating apps and the user base trying to hold out for better.
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I suspect you are correct about the date apps. You can always just swipe left for another person. Oh, this one only has 8 out of your 10 MUST HAVES, swipe left. These apps give the illusion of unlimited potential and surely your PERFECT person is there somewhere. It's delusional thinking and of course people are pulling back from those dating apps as a result.
As a guy, you get back to the point where you just swipe right on everything because the amount of attention you receive back is next to nothing anywa
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Oh geez evopsych.
Your genes are for an African planes ape, and not much had changed since then genetics wise. Hunter gatherers are more at risk of starvation than diabetes, so obese is about the healthiest state. If you get that far you are phenomenally successful. Being fat is the best way of surviving the inevitable lean times.
Biology isn't just so stories. Nothing about it if remotely simple as "my genes mean I think fat people are ugly".
even less than they did during Covid-19 (Score:2)
Really?
I had so much sex with my wife during the pandemic, since we couldn't go anywhere.
They must be talking about singles.
Cost vs Reward (Score:5, Insightful)
When you think about it, having regular sex is quite a resource-expensive activity. Maintaining your partner in a happy and sex-enabled mood usually requires quite a significant investment in terms of time, effort and money, and this cost only goes up as the time in the relationship goes on; keeping things new and exciting takes a real effort. All of that because the nature tells us to procreate. Perhaps people are wanking... erm waking up to the realisation that when it comes to sex, the effort to reward ratio is pretty damn low.
Why would they want it (Score:5, Funny)
Half the pop risks death every time (Score:2, Insightful)
Yeah, that's gonna reduce the incident rate. (And yes, i realize that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's waaaaaaaaay closer than it has any damn business being)
Don't knock masturbation. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Don't knock masturbation. (Score:5, Funny)
It's sex with somebody you love.
If we could all be so lucky.
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"Imaginary Lover". There's a song about it.
So much anti-sex sentiment! (Score:5, Insightful)
Wow, surprised by these comments. My partner and I have sex regularly and we both really enjoy it. It's fun, a good workout, and it releases all kinds of pleasure hormones. Stop reading /. and go out and have sex! Bye...
Re:So much anti-sex sentiment! (Score:5, Insightful)
Stop reading /. and go out and have sex!
Also, did you know? You can stop being poor by having money!
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Umm i think I'd rather stay in and have sex than go out and have it. I'm not an exhibitionist.
We are working more hours than to Japanese (Score:4, Insightful)
Japan had exactly the same problem when they demanded long hours for low pay in the 90s their birthright crashed. Even before birth control was legally available their birth rate had crashed.
And Americans have to deal with our incredibly crappy transportation system on top of everything else. So in addition to the 50 to 60 hour work weeks you can add 12 to 15 hours a week of commuting by car. Because trains are communist or something...
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So in addition to the 50 to 60 hour work weeks you can add 12 to 15 hours a week of commuting by car.
Maybe it has something to do with cars, but not the part of car culture you're referring to. Ever noticed how much fewer "fun" cars there are on the road these days? Seems like everything that isn't a pickup truck is a boring gray/white/silver/black SUV or Tesla model 3 (and those are almost always in the "free" gray color).
Perhaps there's some truth to "you ain't getting laid in a Prius."
Unless you're getting it on during your commute (Score:2)
There are plenty of chick magnet cars out there. The important part is how much it costs not what it is because it's a way of signaling. The human equivalent to a peacock putting its display on.
And plenty of people can afford those cars becaus
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There are plenty of chick magnet cars out there. The important part is how much it costs not what it is because it's a way of signaling. The human equivalent to a peacock putting its display on.
Yeah, there's still plenty of cars for the conspicuous consumption demographic, but the market for cars that say "hey, I may not be rich but I still want to have fun!" has pretty much evaporated. Other people have noticed this trend, too. [reddit.com]
Basically, everybody's car now looks like something you'd use for Uber. No wonder people aren't getting laid as often.
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Cars show mental insecurity and women are more aware of that or at least it's a bigger issue today when the insecure manchild has an oversized truck or sports car. A practical car isn't exciting either-- judging by car is out of date or at least a lose lose situation today.
I think everybody extremely shallow, rush to irrational judgements and have zero attention span. Plus they can't read or write or socialize and the tools they have contribute to everything being worse except... user engagement. i wish it
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Hmm, you would think with all those SUVs on the road, there would be plenty of space in the backseat for a bit of fun. I bet the guy driving the Mercedes is still getting laid, likely by his mistress.
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Actually, most things seem to be far less fun and far more subdued these days. Look at videos of concerts and people having fun in the 60s through the 90s and then look at videos of today. I'm only half joking when say that I wonder if they're putting sedatives in the water supply.
Give Us Numbers According to Gender! (Score:3)
Also, this is likely one of the biggest reasons for declining birth rates. Many people assume that it's due to economic situations, and while those are certainly a factor, the simple fact is that if people aren't having sex then they're not having babies.
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Read that as "Give Us Numbers According to Grindr!"
Sex ain't dying until Grindr confirms it.
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Women are the gatekeepers of sex and yet you are still somehow blaming men for this problem. Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with your average guy or gal. What is wrong is our toxic, always connected cellphone in hand culture and I don't see that changing.
It also doesn't help that women really have next to ZERO need for a man in modern western society. If they don't want kids (many young women don't want kids), then why even waste time on boys and their toys?
As you own research reveals, women are still
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Please reread my comment. None of my statements were meant to confer any type of blame. At this point, I'm just making observations about behaviors among different segments of society without casting judgment. Expressing blame isn't going to help anyone understand this issue any better, let alone begin to fix it. If you don't believe me, please reread my recent comment history where I pointed out that young men a
stress (Score:2)
Capitalists find this problematic (Score:4, Insightful)
Because the system requires it.
A cynic's view of the matter (Score:2)
"The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense is damnable."
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"The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense is damnable."
If it flies, floats or fucks, rent it.
Lies.... (Score:2)
Man I'm knee deep in pussy at 60- years old.
I've got more opportunities than I did in my 20s. So you guys who think it's icky- two things:
1. Thanks for leaving me a portion.
2. I always shake hands.
Enjoy!
Not less (Score:2)
Not less. Americans are just getting fucked more in other ways than nature intended it.
Porn is better than sex anyways (Score:2)
As America gets older, the physical demands of sex are quite high. It is more enjoyable to watch porn and experience the same effects.
With endless streaming porn content, we have also solved the problem of getting bored by the same video or the problem of obtaining a video and being disappointed by the quality.
What is the right amount of sex to be having? (Score:4, Interesting)
... and who gets to decide?
(I'm tempted to write a short story about a country where everyone is expected to eat at least one ice cream cone a day, or else be considered defective, and what effects that social expectation would have on peoples' desire to eat ice cream).
Hopelessness (Score:2)
Reasons (Score:4, Interesting)
1) Both partners work full time jobs, so there is no time for sex.
2) Birth control doesn't always work, and about half the country no longer has access to abortion. It's best to just avoid the whole trap altogether.
3) Feminists don't want sex (unless you're 6'4", 6-pack abs, and have a multi-million dollar income), and they have overrun the country. They're too busy being strong and independent to want sex. You have 80% of women chasing the 2% of men that meet their insane criteria.
4) Despite both partners having full time jobs, most can't afford to have children. Most can barely afford to pay their rent.
5) Despite both partners having full time jobs, they are suffering from job insecurity.
Virgins! (Score:2)
Duh, lots of virgins on this web site. I am alive as an old virgin male alate. /s
Old people (Score:2)
"After age 64, there was no significant change in the amount of sex people have, largely because this group reports having sex less frequently to begin with, the researchers said."
And get off my lawn!
Good (Score:2)
Our nation deserves to die out. Boomers ruined our way of life. We should not procreate.
Re: Sex is stupid (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
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When I was growing up as a teenager in the 90s, there were few things worse than being sexless (or worse: a virgin). The social stigma was so massive that it even became a cliche among teenage comedy movies. However, now that so many young people (especially men) are sexless, the stigma seems to be declining rapidly. It's harder to shame other men for not getting la
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I'm pretty sure that most of these "sexless virgins" of the 90s you're talking about weren't really sexless. The possibility of sexual gratification by one's hand was a well known and tempting alternative, not to mention cheaper and mostly free of health risks, if somewhat controversial religiously.
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life's driving ambition needn't be getting at a nice pair of tits.
If a guy really wants a nice pair of tits, there's doctors that can help with that.
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That's pretty much the standard experience of anyone entering a stable relationship, me included.
The only problem is that you never get to that stage if you're not a dumb horny teenager first.
It's a weird Puritan Christian thing (Score:3, Informative)
So back in the day shortly after Jesus was crucified people thought he was coming back and they thought he was coming back real soon. So you were told not to bother marrying and going about having kids and having sex because there wasn't any point. We were
Re:It's a weird Puritan Christian thing (Score:5, Interesting)
It's more likely just based on a really piss-poor understanding of STIs in biblical times. People understood that if you did a bunch of sleeping around, you'd likely fall ill. They didn't understand what caused it, so it was just "punishment from God".
Even though we now understand what actually causes sexually transmitted diseases and ways to reduce the likelihood of their spread, some people still cling to the whole "God doesn't like it" thing for the usual reasons that people still believe in aspects of religion which don't stand up to logical scrutiny.
People did sleep around back then (Score:2)
But if you raped a woman you would have to pay a bride price and take her as a wife.
That's because her father owned her and you broke it you bought it because women were just property back then.
Biblical views on sex are so totally alien to what we know that none of it makes sense to us.
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First off, let's make it clear that you're well past the event horizon in your long, gradual descent into total madness. That said...
So you were told not to bother marrying and going about having kids and having sex because there wasn't any point.
Where are you even getting this from?
We were all going to get dragged up to heaven
Actually the kingdom of heaven, which if we take literally, as you suggest, from the book of revelation, is talking about something akin to a massively sized spaceship that has neither clouds nor pearly gates, instead being described as being almost like a meadow with a very lush landscape, somewhere in the sky, and it's not here yet, meani
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The new testament seems to be the opposite, i.e. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone", when asked how to punish a woman who committed adultery (namely, no punishment) which was even a violation of the ten commandments.
that's not meant as an endorsement of sex, much less out of "marriage" sex. "go and sin no more" is quite clearly affirming that it is to be considered a sinful act, but forgoes punishment to make the point of forgiveness and to denounce hipocrisy ("he who is free of sin throw the first stone") which are recurring themes in the new testament.
funilly enough, that passage was left out in the text used by jeovah's witnesses', who have much in common with puritans. but let's not rush any conclusions! it is a la
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that's not meant as an endorsement of sex
Well, I didn't say that. Though I also don't think it's actually considered sinful on its own either -- adultery involves sex, but sex isn't adultery.
not fucking them!
That's what the apostles say. But also remember that by the time the apostles had written anything, Nero Caesar, who's name transliterated to hebrew sums to 666 and rsilvergun reveres for being openly fat, a man taking on the role of a wife, and for mercilessly killing followers of the way (among other cults at the time) because he was some kind of narcissisti
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I personally picked up the details from Dan McClellan but it's nothing unusual. It's extremely well known that the Christians back then were in apocalyptic death cult.
They likely weren't. Back then it was just called "the way" and in a sense was a cult of the hippie drum circle variety, even in the early decades after their leader was killed.
Life was brutal back then
They didn't see it that way. You only do because you're fat and entitled.
My entire point was that the Bible had to be reinterpreted when the world didn't come to an end 2000 some odd years ago.
It wasn't necessarily supposed to. And what you're talking about is almost solely within the book of revelations, not the entirety of the bible. The rest of it is meant to be a "history" of sorts, where the book of revelations makes predictions. In other words,
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"...shortly after Jesus was crucified people thought he was coming back and they thought he was coming back real soon. So you were told not to bother marrying and going about having kids and having sex because there wasn't any point." Uh, no, they weren't. Not sure where you got that from.
A few early church leaders (notably Paul) did not marry, while others were married (Jesus is said to have healed Peter's mother-in-law--it's pretty hard to have a mother-in-law unless you're married). There were some la
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I know right! It's just so intrinsic to life that even plants depend on it for survival.
Survival of the fittest ensures that those who don't have sex, won't produce offspring.
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Most would beg to differ.
To quote George Michael from a long time ago:
Sex is natural, sex is good, not everybody does it but everybody should.
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George Michael was still straight in 1987 (Score:3)
In case anyone's confused:
The quotation was from the lyrics of the song "I Want Your Sex" from George Michael's 1987 solo debut Faith [genius.com]. That song's lyrics are from the point of view of the male in a heterosexual monogamous couple: "I can't take much more, girl / I'm losing control" (my emphasis). Michael's turn toward specifically gay lyrics would come several years later, starting around 1998.
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In case anyone's confused
The previous poster wasn't confused about song lyrics, he was just implying that heterosexuals don't do anal. Which of course, isn't true. Some heterosexual women and men both enjoy doing it in the butt (the woman as the bottom works as you'd assume, and the heterosexual version of a woman topping a guy is called "pegging" - obviously, involving a strap-on). And because you really can't tar everyone with the same brush, not all gay guys are into anal.
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The previous poster wasn't confused about song lyrics, he was stating the fact that George Michael had sex in public toilets.
He might even have done it before it was fashionable.
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To quote George Michael from a long time ago:
Sex is natural, sex is good, not everybody does it but everybody should.
I can imagine a certain current First Lady disagreeing with most of that. :-)
Re: Sex is stupid (Score:2)
Re: Sex is stupid (Score:2)
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Bold of you to assume the existence of said wife.
Re:Sex is stupid (Score:5, Funny)
Getting a dopamine fix by thrusting one's body part in and out of a fleshy wet hole is a stupid waste of time.
For some reason that reminds me of my response to the "favorite sex scene" profile question on a dating site years ago: "I'm not sure, but it certainly wasn't when Malcolm McDowell shoved his fist into some unfortunate subordinate's rectum in Caligula."
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It sure feels good though, you sound like someone who hasn't had it since it had you. maybe you should try it sometime?
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Getting a dopamine fix by thrusting one's body part in and out of a fleshy wet hole is a stupid waste of time.
And yet you're perched in front of a keyboard on this forum and you somehow consider this to be productive. As for the article, I think we can all thank #MeToo for this. All women are to some degree crazy. Distinguishing crazy from batshit crazy is an art form that most of us lack. #MeToo made it safer to say screw it than screwing it.
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Getting a dopamine fix by thrusting one's body part in and out of a fleshy wet hole is a stupid waste of time.
Agreed, because that result was you.
#sexCausesBackslashdot
Mod parents down! (Score:2)
Like, literally its parents. What a waste.
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Getting a dopamine fix by thrusting one's body part in and out of a fleshy wet hole is a stupid waste of time.
I remember reading a news article one time about a guy who actually felt this way about sex, legitimately. Turns out, he had a pituitary gland problem and had never gone through puberty.
Re: Sex is stupid (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
s/healt-benefits/heath benefits/
"word of compulsion"? Perhaps revulsion?
But no mention of oxytocin?
Now going for funny... Must have something to do with recent voting patterns? Like male pattern baldness, but with bedroom problems spreading to the voting booth?
(Joke of the day is actually about "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" for everyone or just the YOB and PT? Just kidding. There is no gawd and if you're that super greedy, then no amount of imaginary money (or even imaginary sex) will make y
Re:Sex is stupid (Score:4, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
From the sound of things, I think he's just a starfish that has only ever had sex with other starfish.
https://www.urbandictionary.co... [urbandictionary.com]
And yeah, that would be pretty dismal.
Re: Sex is stupid (Score:2)
I quit eating flesh of animals or vegetables. I mainly subsist on oxygen and the occasional fruit from a freely consenting plant.
Re: Help a brother out (Score:2)
We can't afford Viagra any more.
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Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I think that a nation-wide power outage of a week or two could make a difference.
Then we also have cases of women being more picky these days. The search for perfection is one of the problems. Then you have the economic incentive - two working people in a family aren't always able to afford children due to the exaggerated property costs. It doesn't matter if you rent or buy - the cost has to be reclaimed.
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Then we also have cases of women being more picky these days. The search for perfection is one of the problems.
Is that really true though? I've seen men of all types with girlfriends. But for any woman with a few extra pounds, much less actual obesity, they're very often single.
It seems to be the problem isn't women being picky, it's the hordes of guys who don't want to settle for anything but a hot intelligent women with a great personality.
Re:How about this...? (Score:5, Insightful)
I've never met someone who seriously considered that as a problem. It's mostly an excuse incels make when they get turned down for being too creepy
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It's mostly an excuse incels make when they get turned down for being too creepy
And incels tend to hang out in their echo chambers, reinforcing their beliefs that they don't need to better themselves to be a more attractive mate, because from their perspective it's clearly the rest of the world that's gone off the rails.
Re:How about this...? (Score:5, Interesting)
While that's probably true, it doesn't take an echo chamber to tell me that I am better off solo then dealing with women anymore. I say this as someone that left a marriage of 15 years because we were both miserable. I may be lonely now but I'm far from miserable. I'll call that a net gain.
I figure I'm single for a handful of reasons. First, my red flags. Atheist, libertarian and doesn't want kids (or to raise another mans kids). Those 3 characteristics immediately make it hard to consider me for anything long term and I'm not really a one-night stand sort of fella.
Now, my list of deal breakers. Kids (not raising kids, not interested) and bad credit (mines great, not fixing yours, did that already). I tried online dating a year ago and found two specific types of women in abundance. Those with kids that don't have time to date but are still on the apps and those that want kids.
I'm sure if I looked at women 50+ this would change but between 35-45, this seems to be the sort of women I find online.
P.S. I don't blame women for not wanting to date me given I'm not rich and don't want kids. That's just the reality of the world.
P.S.S. I'm also introverted, which given the way the media portrays that, may as well be a 4th flag. How dare I not love crowds!
Re: Hey that's me for once! (Score:4, Insightful)
Sorry for your loss. Dating apps are indeed garbage. If I were single, I'd be talking to every attractive person I saw at a grocery store, museum, out walking, etc. I'm an introvert and it makes me nervous AF, but I've also realized that pretty much anyone who agrees to meet for a drink is already interested, so that makes it easier. I mean I hate doing job interviews too, but it's just part of the process, not the end of the world.
Re: (Score:2)
Having read countless times over the years about various factors causing declining birth rates (without seeking that information out, because I really do not care), that comment was baffling. Off the top of my head, contributing factors include...
- reduced child mortality -> no need to make 7 babies to have 2 survive
- better social safety nets for the elderly -> no need having kids to avoid starvation in old age
- contraception -> children are no longer an inevitable consequence of recreational sex
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