Inventor Slims Down Exoskeletal Body Armor

Inventor Slims Down Exoskeletal Body Armor 416

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:11PM from the careful-of-my-clock dept.

The Hamilton Spectator is reporting that inventor Troy Hurtubise, creator of the "bear-protection suit" made famous by taking a hit from a moving vehicle, has slimmed down his design in hopes of landing a lucrative government contract. From the article: "He has spent two years and $15,000 in the lab out back of his house in North Bay, designing and building a practical, lightweight and affordable shell to stave off bullets, explosives, knives and clubs. He calls it the Trojan and describes it as the 'first ballistic, full exoskeleton body suit of armour.'"

Inventor Slims Down Exoskeletal Body Armor

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Comments (Score:4, Funny)

by suso ( 153703 ) * writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:13PM (#17614506) Journal

Let the comments about how it looks just like an avatar from Quake/UT/Halo/etc begin.

Balmer-proof! (Score:5, Funny)

by MECC ( 8478 ) * writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:14PM (#17614524)

This thing would probably easily deflect flying chairs...

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:17PM (#17614564)

Yes, but can it protect you from a toilet thrown off a roof? And how about an angry girlfriend? Or both activities at the same time.

Trojan (Score:3, Funny)

by techpawn ( 969834 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:17PM (#17614570) Journal

THe most trusted name in protection... *ducks*

Just can't resist....... (Score:5, Funny)

by ReTay ( 164994 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:19PM (#17614602)

9 out of 10 Bears polled say

"Crunchy on the outside gooey on the inside......."

Re:Comments (Score:2, Funny)

by Half a dent ( 952274 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:20PM (#17614604)

Nah, looks more like one of the Centurions from the 80s cartoon show.

BTW is he trying to look mean and aggressive or is the armour uncomfortable for his piles?!

Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:4, Funny)

by ArsonSmith ( 13997 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:20PM (#17614610) Journal

Wow did I get this line from the article wrong

"Dangling between the legs, that would be a clock."

Nice (Score:2, Funny)

by Calinous ( 985536 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:20PM (#17614622)

The inventor wore it (including helmet) in a four hour drive - and police officer stopped him and let him go after convincing himself that the inventor could see just fine with the helmet on.
This would be great for soldiers - if able to withstand assault rifle bullets, its weight (18kg) is pretty low for full body armor.

What makes me curious is this:
"In the helmet, there's a solar-powered fresh-air system"
How much fresh air could a solar powered air system produce?

Re:Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:2, Funny)

by Eagleartoo ( 849045 ) writes: <{moc.liamtoh} {ta} {renrut_nella}> on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:22PM (#17614640) Journal

Begun, the clone wares have.

Re:Comments (Score:3, Funny)

by Liinux ( 1051016 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:24PM (#17614694)

Forget about what he looks like, can it withstand a telefrag?

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:26PM (#17614720)

Or how does it stand up to bout of explosive diarrhea (possibly brought on by the sight of your girlfriend throwing a toilet off the roof at you)?

More Pictures (Score:2, Funny)

by lbmouse ( 473316 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:28PM (#17614752) Homepage

Here are some more pictures:
One [capefeare.com]
Two [capefeare.com]
Three [capefeare.com]

Picture here (Score:5, Funny)

by A beautiful mind ( 821714 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:29PM (#17614758)

A picture can be found here [towndock.net] of this revolutionary new technology.

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:3, Funny)

by Calinous ( 985536 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:29PM (#17614760)

I've seen the video on google, and I want to say:
Starcraft's marines are prior art

Oh, the naming process went terribly awry... (Score:3, Funny)

by splitsevin ( 953745 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:30PM (#17614766)

So, it goes over your body and protects you from harmful things but "Trojan?" Was the name "Ultimate Mega Body Condom" already taken?

Re:Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:34PM (#17614824)

"What the hell are you doing? There's kids watching!!"

"I'm winding my watch."

Re:While it would rock if this were the real thing (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:37PM (#17614894)

Being a crackpot is a prerequisite for involvement with our goverment.

Re:Nice (Score:5, Funny)

by carpe_noctem ( 457178 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:39PM (#17614914) Homepage Journal

This would be great for soldiers - if able to withstand assault rifle bullets, its weight (18kg) is pretty low for full body armor.

The suit definitely seems to go along with the current war strategy... make no quick movements, take a huge beating, and then pull off the helmet for some publicity photos in the papers.

Queue the crotch-clock jokes (Score:5, Funny)

by 192939495969798999 ( 58312 ) writes: <info AT devinmoore DOT com> on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:40PM (#17614940) Homepage Journal

"Hey baby, guess what time it is?"

Re:Comments (Score:5, Funny)

by MECC ( 8478 ) * writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:43PM (#17614986)

The guy looks a bit short for a stormtrooper...

The perfect accessory (Score:2, Funny)

by Gerocrack ( 979018 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:49PM (#17615082)

This thing will go GREAT with my debilitating Batman complex! Now all I need is a fortune and an intense personal tragedy!

Sure, but... (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:51PM (#17615100)

Does it run Linux?

Re:While it would rock if this were the real thing (Score:4, Funny)

by EinZweiDrei ( 955497 ) * writes: <einzweidrei@wildmail.com> on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:53PM (#17615148)

I say we take off, nuke the suit from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Re:Picture here (Score:3, Funny)

by lawpoop ( 604919 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:56PM (#17615194) Homepage Journal

Here are additional photos [tronguy.net].

Re:Clock? (Score:4, Funny)

by Digital Vomit ( 891734 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:57PM (#17615216) Homepage Journal

The word "clock" was a typo in the article. It's easy to accidentally it the 'l' key because it's so close to the 'o' key.

Already been done... (Score:2, Funny)

by quixoticsycophant ( 729112 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:58PM (#17615234)

Wasn't this technology perfected ten years ago [theonion.com]?

What happens... (Score:2, Funny)

by Landshark17 ( 807664 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @12:58PM (#17615236)

How hard is it to take off if you've got to drain the lizard?

Another Sign of the Times (Score:4, Funny)

by AttillaTheNun ( 618721 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:04PM (#17615326)

"to stave off bullets, explosives, knives and clubs"
These days, even the bears are packing.

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

by Lazerf4rt ( 969888 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:07PM (#17615388)

Only problem is, they'd have to rob a bank to afford one.

Re:Clock? (Score:5, Funny)

by suso ( 153703 ) * writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:19PM (#17615542) Journal

Since when was an over-sized cup called a clock?

When it has a pendulum.

Pfff... (Score:3, Funny)

by Jugalator ( 259273 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:31PM (#17615714) Journal

Is this supposed to be exciting? I've had my endoskeleton since birth. Bah!

Re:Comments (Score:3, Funny)

by greenguy ( 162630 ) writes: <(estebandido) (at) (gmail.com)> on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:37PM (#17615784) Homepage Journal

Question is, is it laser-proof?

Oh, wait. The stormtrooper suits weren't laser-proof. Does anyone else find that to be a bit of an oversight?

With this we can take back endor... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:52PM (#17616024)

HAH, with this we can finally retake Endor with impunity...no little furry dwarves with sticks and rocks shall block the progress of the new order...

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @01:57PM (#17616112)

Who the hell would come at someone dressed like this with a knife?

But then again, if we learned nothing from Ewoks v. Empire...

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:5, Funny)

by Das Modell ( 969371 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @02:26PM (#17616540)

I noticed a spelling error in the article. It says:

Dangling between the legs, that would be a clock.

I'm sure that they meant to say "cock."

Can't say I wasn't expecting Robo Armor. (Score:5, Funny)

by DaedalusHKX ( 660194 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @02:33PM (#17616638) Journal

But don't forget folks, this is still oppression gear. Have your laughs, because they're not building this stuff to oppress towel heads overseas, they're building this stuff to kick in your door, when you're hacking at 2400 hours, after 3 jolts of coffee and downloading your happy warez. Remember, violent offenders get out on good behaviour after raping women, while you, as a "l33t haxor" and "warez d00dz" will likely never see the sun again.

Its you that'll be facing the robo troopers, not the "bad guys". The bad guys will already have the anti robo trooper guns.

Anyone remember Kevin Mitnick arrested as if he was Wesley Snipes, at the point of several dozen M16's? Yeah... the "lethal" "warrior" Kevin "pudge" Mitnick. You, could be the next Mitnick.

Just my ten cents. Hope you spend it well.

I can't help myself... (Score:4, Funny)

by binary paladin ( 684759 ) writes: <binarypaladin&gmail,com> on Monday January 15, 2007 @03:05PM (#17617032)

Dude, where can I purchase one of these "AK47s" or "30-06s"? I can barely get 60 fps out of my current video card. And, what resolution are these babies pulling those kinds of frame rates on?

(I'm a jackass. I know.)

Re:Nice (Score:2, Funny)

by ender- ( 42944 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @03:18PM (#17617186) Homepage Journal

How much fresh air could a solar powered air system produce?

I believe that the fresh air system is a built in fan in the front of the mask that just sucks in air from outside.
As long as it has a reverse setting, to rid your helmet of taco burps. :)

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:4, Funny)

by Minwee ( 522556 ) writes: <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Monday January 15, 2007 @03:22PM (#17617242) Homepage

No worries. I just checked my email and I have been approved for five mortgages and sixteen unsecured credit cards this week alone.

He HAS cured cancer (Score:2, Funny)

by Loadmaster ( 720754 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @03:27PM (#17617294)

Here's what we know:

1. The suit exists
2. Cancer exists
3. Flashlights exist
4. He has one (suit and flashlight)
5. He doesn't have cancer

Therefore he has cured cancer because 5 comes after 1. I don't think anyone can argue with that (especially when put in bullet format). If anyone needs more convincing I can put this into a 35 page PowerPoint document for further truthiness.

Swi

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

by shawn(at)fsu ( 447153 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @04:45PM (#17618508) Homepage

Depends on the knife, a robust Swiss Army Knife [swissarmy.com] has a can opener inlcuded.

Parent has a very funny and insightful post BTW.

Re:Comments (Score:5, Funny)

by dcsmith ( 137996 ) * writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @04:48PM (#17618550)

The stormtrooper suits weren't laser-proof.

Not laser proof?!?! IIRC they weren't proof against an Ewok with a stick...

Re:Can't say I wasn't expecting Robo Armor. (Score:3, Funny)

by Drooling Iguana ( 61479 ) writes: on Monday January 15, 2007 @08:16PM (#17621638)

Remember, violent offenders get out on good behaviour after raping women, while you, as a "l33t haxor" and "warez d00dz" will likely never see the sun again.
Ha! The joke's on them! I never see the sun anyway.

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Comments (Score:4, Funny)

Balmer-proof! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:1, Funny)

Trojan (Score:3, Funny)

Just can't resist....... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Comments (Score:2, Funny)

Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:4, Funny)

Nice (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Comments (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:0, Funny)

More Pictures (Score:2, Funny)

Picture here (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:3, Funny)

Oh, the naming process went terribly awry... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Wow did I get this line from the article wrong (Score:3, Funny)

Re:While it would rock if this were the real thing (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Nice (Score:5, Funny)

Queue the crotch-clock jokes (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Comments (Score:5, Funny)

The perfect accessory (Score:2, Funny)

Sure, but... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:While it would rock if this were the real thing (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Picture here (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Clock? (Score:4, Funny)

Already been done... (Score:2, Funny)

What happens... (Score:2, Funny)

Another Sign of the Times (Score:4, Funny)

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Clock? (Score:5, Funny)

Pfff... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Comments (Score:3, Funny)

With this we can take back endor... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Video of Troy's Suits (Score:5, Funny)

Can't say I wasn't expecting Robo Armor. (Score:5, Funny)

I can't help myself... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Nice (Score:2, Funny)

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:4, Funny)

He HAS cured cancer (Score:2, Funny)

Re:WOW! Could it live up to his hype? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Comments (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Can't say I wasn't expecting Robo Armor. (Score:3, Funny)

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