Microsoft Suffers Leaks, Lagging Sales Numbers As They Look Forward To Windows 8 386
nandemoari writes "With only a few weeks until Microsoft's Windows 7 Release Candidate 1 (RC1) is released, Microsoft is already looking for people to help with Windows 8. An April 14th job ad posted by Microsoft says the upcoming version of Windows will have new features like cluster support and support for one way replication. Apparently the Windows 8 kernel is being reworked to provide dramatic performance improvements. Windows 8 will also include innovative features that, according to Microsoft, will revolutionize file access in branch offices." Relatedly, several users tell us that both 32 and 64-bit versions of the Windows 7 release candidate have been leaked into the wild via p2p networks. The current leaked version shows little change beyond bug fixes, so it would seem what you see is what you get. This all comes as Microsoft posts quarterly sales that have fallen for the first time in the company's 23-year history. Seeing a 6% drop in revenue and a 32% drop in earnings, some within the Redmond giant expect the downward trend to continue.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft realized after Apple's OSX that their current naming scheme robbed them of the ability to release Windows X, which would be similar to Windows, but more streamlined, and with flames painted on the sides. They went back to the standard sequential number scheme so they could legitimately call a release "Windows X" without looking like poseurs.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft will adopt the a scheme of releasing incremental versions once a year like clockwork, starting with Windows 7 in 2009, Windows 8 in 2010, as so on.
Finally, in 2097, Microsoft will re-release vintage Windows 95 as the OS of choice for ancient computers dug from the rubble of the post-apocalyptic nightmare world.
Never let it be said that Microsoft doesn't have its corporate eye on the future.
Re:leaks (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yet another new version (Score:3, Funny)
Because they'd rather spend tons on R&D, marketing, support, etc. for something people don't want to buy (Vista, Windows 7) than to continue to press discs for something people do want to buy (XP).
Don't forget beating hardware manufacturers into submission.
Re:leaks (Score:5, Funny)
In other news... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Here we go again (Score:3, Funny)
I'm sure they'll have WinFS ready by Windows 30.
Re:Yet another new version (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:5, Funny)
* Windows 9 (maybe?)
Close. By that time Linux will have gained enough steam with things like Suse 13 and Mighty Mandrake that they'll change the name to make sure they don't look inferior. It'll be called Windows 9000: Accounting Alan.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:5, Funny)
What about Windows 1.0, 2.0, 2.1, 3.0, 3.1 and 3.11?
You have to remember, that for a majority of /. these days, there weren't any OSes before Windows 95 because everyone was too busy fighting dinosaurs.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:1, Funny)
I'm sure they'll avoid looking like poseurs by simply putting the X in front.... X Windows.... has a nice ring to it.
Re:Yet another new version (Score:5, Funny)
No, he's serious I saw it too!
Re:leaks (Score:5, Funny)
But from what end? :P
Let's just say, it sent a chair flying...
Re:is Microsoft 23 years old? (Score:3, Funny)
No, Microsoft is 29 years old. It was founded in 1975.
Oops, 39 not 29.
Falcon
Re: Window 8 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:is Microsoft 23 years old? (Score:3, Funny)
No, Microsoft is 29 years old. It was founded in 1975.
Oops, 39 not 29.
Another brain fart, 34 not 39.
Falcon
Re:"Window 8?" (Score:5, Funny)
MS has a new strategy for performance and stability - they're only going to allow you to open 8 Windows and the new name reflects that.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:3, Funny)
"X11" maybe? That would be cool! It would be like turning Windows up to 11 and such.
An X11 Windows manager - now that has a ring! And to think, we just have to wait through 4 more Windows releases to get X11.
I wonder how I can ever wait that long. If only I could have X11 now...
Re:Buh? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know what it is, but I'm really angry that Microsoft isn't making me use it!
Microsoft snatches publicity crown from Ubuntu (Score:5, Funny)
In a stunning public relations coup, Microsoft Corporation (NASDAQ: MNPLY) has successfully overshadowed today's release of Ubuntu Linux 9.04 "Juicy Jubblies" [today.com] by announcing its failed financials for a fourth quarter in a row and laying even more people off.
Microsoft announced new and expanded roles for remaining key executives as another several lesser, losing quitters deserted upper management. "It shows the fantastic opportunity available to everyone at Microsoft to climb seven or eight reporting levels up the org chart," said marketing marketer Steve Ballmer to pitchfork-wielding Wall Street analysts today. "If we haven't laid them off for making too much money or not kissing enough ass."
The Yahoo! deal is expected to go ahead. "We figure they'll go broke before we do. Probably." Mr Ballmer also plans to run the Yahoo! servers on Windows NT rather than FreeBSD after a similar change worked so well at Hotmail. "Some say synergy's another word for two plus two equals one, but you just have to make the value of one work for you."
Windows 7 betas have been greeted with remarkable positive press. "Of course, the betas preview the 'champagne and hookers' edition, which would be way too much for netbooks and explode users' brains. Imagine thinking those little things are computers! So we're releasing what we call Windows 7 Dumbass Edition. It lets you log in and look at the shiny. Even Spider Solitaire has the ribbon toolbar! And you can buy an upgrade to the version that runs programs! It lets you do that!" Dumbass Edition comes with pre-installed viruses to make the computer part of the Storm, Conficker and FBI botnets. "If you can't beat ’em, join ’em."
However, Microsoft has indicated to its press corps, Microsoft Completely Enderlependent Analysts, to ixnay on the evensay and highlight the job openings for work on Windows 8, firmly penciled in for a 2012 release. Windows 8 will be optimised for low-end 32-core systems with a mere 16 gigabytes of memory — 28 cores for the interface, 3 cores for the DRM and one core for everything else. "Seven is just so this year. I hear they'll get $DATABASE_FILESYSTEM done next release for sure!" said ZDNet marketing marketer Mary-Jo Enderle. "It'll be awesome!"
"I'm sure it'll be fine, fine," said Bill Gates, upping his hours at his charitable foundation and scheduling the sale of several more packages of Microsoft stock.
Larry Ellison of Oracle, who recently purchased Sun Microsystems, merely snickered, muttered "Java. OpenOffice." and let out a long and resounding laugh.
Mark Shuttleworth of Canonical, speaking from his castle on a crag high on a mountaintop in west London, was sanguine at Ubuntu's news being overshadowed. "I lost ten million dollars on Ubuntu last year. I'm losing ten million dollars on Ubuntu this year. I expect to lose ten million dollars on Ubuntu next year. At this rate, I'll be broke in ... sixty years."
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:3, Funny)
Windows 1.0 through 3.11 were not operating systems
This is slashdot. It's blasphemy to even suggest on here that *any* release of Windows deserves the designation "Operating System." Now go sit in the corner and receive your flames like a good boy.
Re:Buh? (Score:4, Funny)
WinFS: neither file system nor win.
Re:New OS naming trend? (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft will continue to increment version numbers with the ongoing years until it rolls over to Windows -32768. Then the sun will explode.