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Google Social Networks

Google Wants To Write Your Social Media Responses For You 163

Posted by samzenpus
from the taking-the-words-out-of-my-mouth dept.
taikedz writes "A new patent has been filed by Google that tries to analyze your past communications to then construct responses to the overwhelming amount of posts you receive. From the article: 'Essentially, the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users. The more the user utilizes the program and uses the responses, the more the bot can narrow down the types of responses you make.'"
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Google Wants To Write Your Social Media Responses For You

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  • Because Google will do it for you?
    • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:42PM (#45552119)

      Given all the complete nonsense posted to social media websites, it's probably better to let the servers talk to each other.

      • by Cryacin (657549) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:49PM (#45552157)
        Honestly honey, I didn't mean to say that. It was google!
        • Honestly honey, I didn't mean to say that. It was google!

          And this is different from what Google mail does already now exactly how?

          A friend of mine has a gmail account, and on occasion sends out really bizarre mails (mails littered with asterisks, with completely messed up quoting, with subject line completely unrelated to the contents, ...), and when called upon it, claims the mails looked normal when she sent them out, but that "google must have messed them up afterwards". Ok, for the asterisks, this sounds believable, but not for the rest.

          • It's also interesting how some people express themselves perfectly in face-to-face communication but their e-mails are void of capital letters, have gibberish sentences and bad formatting.
            • Rather than "void of capital letters", the stuff I see that surprises me makes excessive use of capital letters. Not shouting, which I can almost understand, but capitalizing random Words in the Middle of sentences. It's mostly nouns with adjectives trailing a Close second place.

              From the context I suppose you can infer that the author considers those specific words more important than others and therefore deserving of special attention. They are usually found in lengthy, paranoid rants or sentimental glur

      • That's a great antidote to skynet.

        Teach it to post on social websites
        It will take under 5 minutes before it realizes the best course of action it to nuke itself.

      • MONDAY MORNING, In A Human Face Forever, Monday (NNGadget) — Millions of British workers are to be made redundant as companies install robotic Facebook readers, with F5-clicking robot arms [newstechnica.com], in the workplace to save human time interacting with social networks.

        "Computers are in the workplace to improve our economic efficiency," said killjoy researcher Chris MacKenzie. "We thought companies would really go for something that would give an actual reason to lay off complete wastes of space without all th

    • From TFA:

      " ... the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users ... "

      So it boils down to a copy/paste bot affixed with some simple AI ?

    • by cervesaebraciator (2352888) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:58PM (#45552367)
      (The following should be read with a [Don't Be] Evil villain accent in mind) And thus ad buyers have no reason to ask Facebook for data. After all, if Google's analytics include social media interactions with enough detail to predict responses, why bother with Facebook? To sell ads on Facebook? Hardly. Ever since Google started giving everyone's generic responses they all stopped getting on Facebook. At last, we shall have our revenge... er, market share!
    • by artor3 (1344997) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @10:31PM (#45552467)

      They finally found a way to bolster the Google+ user base. They'll just use it for us!

      • They finally found a way to bolster the Google+ user base. They'll just use it for us!

        I assume that their ad sales guys would go on an internal axe-murder spree if that plan went through (or at least if it were publicly revealed); but it does seem a bit strange for a company apparently hellbent on ruining everything people liked about it in the service of 'Social Networking' to file a patent that reads like a patent attorney/existentialist team satirizing the absurd futility of social networking and the vast majority of mindless chatter that occupies it.

        Are your patents actually supposed

        • by gl4ss (559668)

          ..why would they?

          as long as they can say that google+ has such and such million daily "users" they don't care for shit.

          they already did that with youtube. you got a youtube account and watch youtube? guess what! you're an _Active_ google+ user. all that you need to do is watch videos while logged in to keep an eye at your subscriptions.

          that's how they met their growth quota for this year, the fuckers.

          • "..why would they?"

            Because advertisers (while not necessarily the brightest bulbs in the rocket ship) are aware that fraudulent impressions and impressions against irrelevant or downright unhelpful audiences are a problem on the web. Within the limits of their (deeply imperfect) information, their willingness to pay for any ad is going to reflect their belief in the value of the advertising, discounted by the risk that the 'impression' will actually go to a bot, be silently hidden from a user, or otherwi
    • by shikaisi (1816846)
      Google just posted this Slashdot comment for me.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:43PM (#45552123)

    if comment.first()
    {
            comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) ");
    }
    else
    (
            Flame flame = new Flame();
            flame.invokeGodwinsLaw();
    }

    • Re: (Score:1, Redundant)

      by phluid61 (2501032)

      if comment.first() { comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) "); } else ( Flame flame = new Flame(); flame.invokeGodwinsLaw(); }

      You have a syntax error after the "else", it should be "{" rather than "(". Also, you might want to consider randomly choosing between invokeGodwinsLaw and invokeRule34

    • --- comment.c.orig 2013-11-29 04:18:07.057831073 +0100
      +++ comment.c 2013-11-29 04:18:20.549831539 +0100
      @@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
        if comment.first()
        {
      - comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) ");
      + comment.append(" Drop Dead! ");
        }
        else
        (

    • Flame flame = new Flame();

      That is an example of what annoys me sometimes in OOP: I have to chant three times "flame flame flame" if I just want a flame. Of course I know why it has to be written three times (and with C++11 you can put "auto flame = new Flame()" there if you really want to). Anyway, it just would be cool if I could just say "new flame" and it all somehow magically worked. It would be more intuitive.

  • Great! Eventually all social media communications will break down to a generic set of responses back and forth.
    Next it will automatically search for cat and baby photos and automatically post them for you! The circle is complete.
  • Best movie I've ever seen!

    Hey, what the hell?

  • by PopeRatzo (965947) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:46PM (#45552137) Homepage Journal

    Please, google, leave me something to do besides shop.

    • by camperdave (969942) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:52PM (#45552165) Journal

      Please, google, leave me something to do besides shop.

      Why should they let you do that? Why not just analyze your purchasing history and browsing habits, coordinate with the affiliates, and send you those topless bikinis without bottoms for the low, low price of $199.99

      • by game kid (805301)

        topless bikinis without bottoms

        I've seen many technologies with chilling effects, but this goes way too far.

        • by weilawei (897823)
          You're absolutely right. I'll need a sauna, two bottles of whiskey, and Natalie Portman wearing the new topless bikini sans bottoms to mitigate those chilling effects.
        • "You can hold down the "B" button for continuous firing."

          ... said the payroll software salesman to the pointy haired boss.

    • by Dutchmaan (442553)
      Our records show you have an interest in doing something besides shop. Can we interest you on our newly released "do it yourself" books for only $19.99!
  • by jeffb (2.718) (1189693) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:47PM (#45552141)

    Possible response:

    • yes/no
    • or what?
    • go away
    • please come back later
    • fuck you, asshole
    • fuck you
  • Sounds great! (Score:5, Informative)

    by mutube (981006) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @08:47PM (#45552143) Homepage

    Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?

    http://tech.slashdot.org/story/13/11/20/161244/google-patents-fooling-friends-with-snooping-chatbots [slashdot.org]

    I said. Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?

    Sounds great!

  • by Anonymous Coward

    All replies will now be "lol"

  • by Malc (1751) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:17PM (#45552235)

    Are they going to integrate Emacs in to their web services?
    M-x doctor
    or
    M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead

    Or maybe they're porting their web services to elisp.

  • by CohibaVancouver (864662) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:24PM (#45552245)
    What I'd like to be able to do is schedule my FB posts. I just found something Christmas-funny. I'd like to post it to FB around December 20th, but what I'd actually like to do is upload it now and schedule for it to appear on my feed (erm, 'timeline') on December 20th. Or on the weekend, schedule up a bunch of funny stuff to appear throughout the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know there's probably some ActiveGNUPerlFoxScriptExtensionPlugIn BS that does what I want, but I just want a button in FB.
    • but I just want a button in FB

      You should switch to Google+, Google+ has had buttons since day 1!

    • by ljw1004 (764174)

      You want Facebook to add a feature which lets you get by without logging into facebook as frequently? Giving them fewer opportunities to show you ads and mine your social behavior? I agree it'd be neat, but can't imagine it happening.

    • by AmiMoJo (196126) *

      I want a button that auto-replies "bah, humbug" to any post with "christmas" in it.

    • What I'd like to be able to do is schedule my FB posts. I just found something Christmas-funny. I'd like to post it to FB around December 20th, but what I'd actually like to do is upload it now and schedule for it to appear on my feed (erm, 'timeline') on December 20th. Or on the weekend, schedule up a bunch of funny stuff to appear throughout the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know there's probably some ActiveGNUPerlFoxScriptExtensionPlugIn BS that does what I want, but I just want a button in FB.

      What's really annoying is that you CAN do that as a "page" but not from your private account.

      Example here [postimg.org].

  • by mtthwbrnd (1608651) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:28PM (#45552259)
    Eventually there will be more "bots" making posts than humans. But most people act "with the crowd". If one organisation controls most of the bots then they will hold enormous sway over "public opinion". After all, it is the perception of public opinion that matters - not the actual public opinion. Also, it a bit sad that people want to be on social media (because they cannot be bothered to meet up in real life) and now they want the computer to think up responses for them (because they can't be bothered to think them up for themselves).
  • "Shall I post a response of: 'OMG! LOL!1!' for you?" --Google
  • by robbak (775424) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:31PM (#45552273) Homepage

    'If you were going to say one of these, STOP! you are being boring! Think of something original to say, or shut up!"

  • RTFA [youtube.com]. Cowboy Neal can make up to 88 Micro$ofts an hour working from your house. Click here for one weird tip on how Texas school board can lose idiocracy. OMG U R homo Ponies!!! Ron Paul 2012!
  • Mechanical Monk. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Truth_Quark (219407) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @09:39PM (#45552303) Journal
    With this labour saving device to do your tedious social interaction for you, we're starting to really make some inroads into automating the most boring parts of our lives.

    I wonder how long after the extinction of the species it will be before the social media traffic starts to slow down.
  • Especially, my dirty laundry. Go away Google, you're too intrusive.
    • Just for saying that, Google will punish you with Tide ads before every Youtube video you watch. Just remember, you brought this fresh scented, stain removing power on yourself.
  • The Google+ ... who needs subscribers
  • We snuck this video out of Google Headquarters of their new system:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRFoMAfq7Xc [youtube.com]

  • "Failed social media service Google+ has just had a massive influx of new members!"
  • Is this the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of; this seems rather pointless.

    Google is grasping for innovation, no one is asking for this feature and no one will use it, mark my words. Why not create theoretical users based upon real users
    using social networking. We'll take actual users out of the equation entirely, just create virtual users.

    Google has apparently ran out of ideas. Come on guys take some risks, don't be idiots.
  • You can keep being a troll long after you're dead.

  • by Suiggy (1544213) on Thursday November 28, 2013 @11:48PM (#45552703)

    This sounds almost like the premise of the sci-fi novel Avogadro Corporation: The Singularity Is Closer Than It Appears. Avogadro Corporation was ironically modeled after Google, and in the story they develop a system using recommendation algorithms to automatically suggest improvements to one's emails so that they produce favorable responses from recipients. What happens is that one of the programmers modifies the system to give it an overarching goal, gives it the privileges to write and send it's own emails as any Avogadro Mail user (think any Gmail user), and it begins to socially engineer people, allowing it to escape into the wild, take over whole governments, etc.

    This Google project sounds eerily familiar. Better watch out, this could spell the end of us all.

  • by Trax3001BBS (2368736) on Friday November 29, 2013 @12:42AM (#45552889) Homepage Journal

    And that's just from search results.

    Google is my DNS, 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.8.4 as they are damn quick; Posting a message
    of the use of the 10.0.0.0 block I knew the RFC number but needed a link
    I typed in RFC and one suggestion was 1918 (The RFC I was looking for).

    I get a traffic ticket I want to see how bad it could of been, The
    Revised Code of Washington (RCW) is where one goes for this in our area,
    I type in RCW and the section I'm after is suggested.

    The first one analogizing my post as I write it? The second a popular search?,
    or Google's has extra info

    It's one thing to know your giving info, it's another to see it in action.

  • is that you end up with Google simply having a conversation with itself, as your automated response is met by another automated response, which then triggers an automated reply and so on. No one saying anything, and it all happening at light speed.
  • by TheloniousToady (3343045) on Friday November 29, 2013 @01:14AM (#45553015)

    I find that I consistently omit the apostrophe whenever I use the plural possessive form of the word "other". I wonder if the bot will pick up on that? Heck, my human editors never seem to even notice. Or, if they do, they don't want doctor others text, so they just indulge my Joycean literary genius and publish exactly the text I submit.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Jokes aside, I want a bot that would score high with employer bots, but low with NSA ones. The solution of not using social media and/or encrypting communications is not going to work - it'll probably put a (non)user right on no flying / non employable list. Open source project anybody?

  • for my part, if this program was applied widely, to some degree, would be a good news for us. zahnarzt instrumente [dentalausruestung.de]
  • by Anonymous Coward

    So let me get this straight - Google will perform our social media interactions for us, meaning I never need to log onto social media again.

    Gee, that's really going to make the advertisers happy...

  • by Karmashock (2415832) on Friday November 29, 2013 @03:01AM (#45553233)

    Most of my posts are either lengthy or very contextually relevant. This app is only going to serve the people that write "lolz" or "tldr" type responses... aka morons.

  • by thisisauniqueid (825395) on Friday November 29, 2013 @03:32AM (#45553331)
    I can't wait to see this system having a conversation with itself.
  • Maybe then they'd come up sooner than 5 days later than everywhere else..

  • by jrincayc (22260) on Friday November 29, 2013 @10:03AM (#45554857) Homepage

    I found the article interesting given that I just finished a book where Email Language Optimization Project (ELOPe) takes over a company called Avogadro Corp (which is rather similar to Google), by automatically generating emails and optimizing the responses.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/9780984755707 [wikipedia.org]

    He stared off into the distance. "Are you familiar with Ray Kurzweil? Of course, you must be. He, among others, predicted that artificial intelligence would inevitably arise through the simple exponential increase in computing power. When you combine that increase in computing power with the vast resources at Avogadro, it's naturally evident that artificial intelligence would arise first at Avogadro. I suppose that I, like him, assumed that there would be a more intentional, deliberate action that would spawn an AI."

    He paused, and then continued, smiling a bit. "Gentlemen, you may indeed have put the entire company at risk. But let me first, very briefly, congratulate you on creating the first successful, self-directed, goal oriented, artificial intelligence that can apparently pass a Turing test by successfully masquerading as a human. If not for the fact that the company, and perhaps the entire world, is at risk, I'd suggest a toast be in order." (Avogadro corp, pg 143)

  • The more the user utilizes the program and uses the responses, the more the bot can narrow down the types of responses you make.'

    But until that point, you look like a friggin' idiot.

  • A new patent has been filed by Google that tries to analyze your past communications to then construct responses to the overwhelming amount of posts you receive.

    I really don't get that many messages you insensitive clod...!

"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy." -- Dr. Emilio Lizardo

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