The Upcoming Windows 8.1 Apocalypse 293
arglebargle_xiv (2212710) writes "As most people will have heard, Microsoft will end support for anyone who hasn't upgraded to Win8.1 Update 1 on May 8. What fewer people have heard is that large numbers of users can't install the 8.1 Update, with over a thousand messages in this one thread alone, and that's for tech geeks rather than home users who won't find out about this until their PC becomes orphaned on May 8. Check your Windows Update log, if you've got a "Failed" entry next to KB2919355 then your PC will also become orphaned after May 8."
Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Funny)
As far as apocalypses go, that's one lame-sounding apocalypse.
how many heads were on that beast in revelations? about 8.1?
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As far as apocalypses go, that's one lame-sounding apocalypse.
how many heads were on that beast in revelations? about 8.1?
Seven heads, ten horns...
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Revelation 8:1 When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour. And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them.
nothing terrible there :)
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:4, Funny)
Nonsense! Those trumpets were playing "Hey Jude" over, and over, and over, and....
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Funny)
You obviously haven't been in a room with seven trumpet players.
Disclaimer: I'm a trumpet player.
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Funny)
When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, he was bound by the shrink-wrapped End User License Agreement.
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That's the point.
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I'd rather take the Lordi version: arockalypse [youtube.com].
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Especially since, in most cases people did this to themselves. Never ever buy the first version of a Windows release. And if the first version looks Vista-level problematic, approach even the first update cautiously. Everyone knows that by now.
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Interesting)
Well I did have a choice, true. I could have bought an OEM version of Windows 7 that was more than twice the cost of Windows 8, and cannot ever be moved to new hardware when this computer dies or requires a major upgrade. Or I could buy Windows 8.1 direct from Microsoft for about $100. I knew it had the ridiculous metro start screen, but I knew that Classic Shell could make it close enough to Windows 7 to be workable. And it is. Also Windows 8.1 can be transferred to brand new hardware and reactivated. They loosened up the restrictions some. So faced with this, it wasn't a hard choice to put on Windows 8.1.
Mind you this situation I was in was precisely engineered by Microsoft to push me in the direction they want me to go. But surely you would do the same, no? Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Insightful)
But surely you would do the same, no? Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?
...err, not really. [linuxmint.com] I mean, seriously - my missus looked at the same situation and decided that she really didn't need Windows for anything.
For my own new laptop, I found my own slightly costlier solution, but it works well for me. [apple.com] It has been working like a champ for almost year now, in spite of the abuse I regularly give it (which is, so far, longer than most laptops hold up under my not-so-tender mercies.) I keep Windows 7 around on a VMWare Fusion partition, but that's about it.
Re:Lamepocalypse (Score:5, Informative)
> Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?
Oh c'mon, that's FUD and you know it. I build systems as a sideline, and I can buy locally Windows 7 Home Premium for $129 and Windows 7 64 Pro for $159. Amazon has Win 7 64 pro for $138.98. Amazon sells Windows 8 64 Pro for $129.99. For less than $10 more, you can get an operating system that actually works and results in fewer tech support calls to me. It's a good investment.
Mind you, as an early adopter of Win8, I bought it for $59 when they were trying to promote it, but after upgrading to 8.1 and seeing no relief, I finally system restored my own system back to 7, because I use my computer to do stuff, not to wrestle with operating systems. And there it sits until Microsoft gets their act together. In the meantime, the systems I build still have Windows 7.
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Because (and this is impor
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I used to have a little fob on my keychain that when pressed would say "yes dear" in a cloying voice. (I'm not kidding. It finally failed and I've been looking for a replacement.) Wife would say something to me in a shrill nagging voice and then have to say "DON'T you reach for your keys!".
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She still your wife?
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It's sort of a trial run apocalypse, to gauge the level of public interest in a larger scale apocalypse.
Apocalypse? (Score:5, Funny)
Doesn't this happen every time they come out with a major update?
Re:Apocalypse? (Score:5, Insightful)
Well, for me it's not an apocalypse, it's more a phoenix rising from the ashes!
But then again, I'm in IT consulting...
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I see where you're going. I have a side business supporting regular non-corporate users, and when Win8 was introduced, business really picked up. There's a lot of user frustration out there.
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Doesn't this happen every time they come out with a major update?
My thoughts as well. I have a Eee Netbook that could never update to Win7 Service Pack 1 due to some mysterious issue that always failed no matter what I tried. Numerous hours and forums later, I just gave up since it's just a netbook and works fine for what it does and just install numerous small updates.
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Microsoft make up your mind! (Score:5, Insightful)
First you end support for XP, which is a good thing, then you end support for Windows 7 in 2020, now you are ending support for Windows 8 on May 8. Why? the bog standard Windows 8 still has newer software than Windows 7, the only thing holding it back is the retarded Modern UI interface. But this is a pretty lame apocalypse. I am perfectly happy with Windows 7 in a qemu KVM hypervisor running on a Linux laptop. This way I can run Windows in a window and use MS Office for those tasks that require it and still have access to the superior Linux command line tools. I just wish I still had my XP Pro VM. Now that was fun. Why is everything an apocalypse these days?
Re:Microsoft make up your mind! (Score:4, Insightful)
Its headline 2.0 compliant.
The older headline 1.0 headline of "Windows 8.1 Pre Update 1 Reduction of Update Availibility arives mid 2nd quarter" has been obsoleted and will not recieve any more updates, which required an update to a headline 2.0 compliant headline.
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"First you end support for XP, which is a good thing, then you end support for Windows 7 in 2020, now you are ending support for Windows 8 on May 8"
I guess MS realises that businesses are upgrading to Win 7, not 8
So when is Win 9 due out?
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Theyre not ending support for 8.1, and you know it. Why anyone is finding it necessary to feign outrage over a headline that they know is false, is beyond me.
Oh wait its for the karma-- carry on.
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How is your video performance in KVM? I typically use VirtualBox or VMware because they have Windows video drivers that speed everything up. Last time I tried KVM the video in Windows was so slow that it was painful to use.
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...and still have access to the superior Linux command line tools.
I see you haven't learned PowerShell yet.
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A word of caution: Most hypervisors were made primarily for the convenience of managing multiple systems on a single piece of hardware. If you want strong security around that Windows install you should think about running it in Qubes; version 2 just came out of beta. [qubes-os.org]
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Because it's the only way to get the message across to corporate fucktards that we are in the internet era and updating your software is FUCKING MANDATORY.
Not enough of you are signing up for MS Live and MS Store. That's like stealing. Some corps have even blocked MS Store. That's why we've blocked offline updates to 8.1, made it mandatory and available via MS Store only. YOU WILL AGREE TO THE MS STORE Ts & Cs! In short, you will comply with whatever poison pill we care to server or we'll throw you to the malware thieves. Oh, and have a nice day!
Linking to page 100? (Score:3, Insightful)
Page 101 has the notice that the update was re-issued with a fix and the rest of the posts are all "worked for me" posts. Problem Solved.
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So you missed the ones after that saying it just changed the error they were getting?
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Maybe MS should take Apple's stance and simply require, as the first troubleshooting option, that the user re-install the machine from scratch. I've stopped bothering with Apple tech support because I don't have a day to re-install all my shit everytime a device pukes with an error.
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I don't what planet you've been on, but reinstalling windows from scratch has been standard practice since win95 for anytime windows shits its panties
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Yes, from win95 thru winxp it was standard practice anytime windows shat itself. In fact, it was standard practice for many to reinstall windows from scratch once are year just to head off it completely shitting itself.
But things have gotten better since then.
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But things have gotten better since then.
ROTFLMAO
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I don't what planet you've been on, but reinstalling windows from scratch has been standard practice since win95 for anytime windows shits its panties
funny my but I find the standard practice to be nuke windows form orbit when it blows up install $linux and make a windows vm thats backed up.
Abandonware? (Score:2)
They surely are shuffling things around (Score:5, Interesting)
It's very interesting what kind of circus the Windows 8 major updates have become. Instead of Service Packs, you now have Windows 8, Windows 8.1, and Windows 8.1 Update 1. Now, the support carpet is suddenly pulled for anything before W8.1U1. Along the way, various platform changes in the UI front have been introduced: start button goes away, start button comes back, ability to snap Modern apps, Modern apps get a title bar, Modern apps can appear in the taskbar, start menu is coming back. Also the settings are still wonkily spread across the classic Control Panel and the Modern UI "PC settings" application, not to speak about the "charms bar" which integrates really badly with the paradigms of the normal desktop, which the user is using at the same time.
It's interesting because in the past Microsoft planned these things very carefully beforehand, and after the release of OS was very careful to not change core functionality. Maybe this is the future, then.
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Microsoft has been quite explicit this is the future. They want an update process more like Apple's. Which means getting their customer base and their developer base used to much faster turnaround on features and issues. They are unlikely to ever get as fast as Apple, and probably don't want to but th
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Microsoft has been quite explicit this is the future. They want an update process more like Apple's.
Apple can afford to put it's customers on such a tight upgrade schedule because Apple has such a tight grip on what hardware is being used. Microsoft does not have this luxury; this is both Window's blessing and its curse. On the one hand, it allows Microsoft to dominate the desktop because users are not tied down to one hardware vendor. On the other hand, support becomes infinitely more difficult because Mi
Re:They surely are shuffling things around (Score:5, Informative)
as far as settings go there is a trick that has been around for a while now
"To activate God Mode in Windows 8, follow the steps below:
1. Go to the Desktop
2. Right-click and select New Folder.
3. Right-click on the New Folder and select Rename.
4. Change the name of the folder [just copy & paste the following string]: GodMode.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}
5. Open the folder and you will find every utility Windows 8 has under the sun.
Note: With God Mode, you can easily access all the Administrative options and make any desired adjustments.
Enjoy!"
or just for "fun" https://dl.dropboxusercontent.... [dropboxusercontent.com] is pre rigged for your amusement
Right... (Score:2)
Re:Right... (Score:5, Informative)
As they say, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
It's true. If you are running 8.1, update 1 is mandatory to keep getting support: http://www.infoworld.com/t/mic... [infoworld.com]
Microsoft said it themselves here: http://blogs.technet.com/b/gla... [technet.com]
Originally they only gave 30 days to install it, but then they upped that to 120 because of all the compatibility and installation problems (and the few companies running Windows 8 screaming).
Bizzarely, Windows 8.0 users aren't affected in the same way. This affects 8.1 users only. As usual, Windows 7 users can ignore this ongoing fiasco and keep doing productive work.
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You seem to have missed his point entirely; Windows 7 is unaffected by this current silliness, which cuts productivity by forcing people to comply with update requirements.
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They're supporting an OS people use, and not one that people don't even like.
http://www.zdnet.com/just-how-... [zdnet.com]
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You have to draw a line in the sand for software update reform somewhere. Not supporting an OS that doesn't have a start button is a good place to draw a line in the sand. XP will end up as an odd duck of extended support, but this is a generally good direction they're taking.
1000 replies? (Score:5, Insightful)
Looking at page 100, it looks like this really affects about a dozen people and they just keep posting. Let me know when there's 1000 unique people saying there's a problem.
(and it appears that there's a fix of sorts)
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As if millions of voices cried out in terror... (Score:2)
And switched to OSX or Linux.
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People who don't like rapid frequent updates are unlikely to be happy with OSX. People who have trouble installing service packs because they have to do a few configuration changes to make them work are unlikely to be happy with Linux. Classic jump out of the pot into the fire.
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Not so much with OSX. Might happen once a month or so if that. Linux, sure. Lots of components seems to get updated frequently. When I run Windows, it seems like every time I boot there is some sort of update. But not really my point. If Microsoft is going to brick the machine because an earlier update failed, that's bad.
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I don't know, I installed Mint for my Mom to replace XP. Her and her husband actually seem more comfortable installing updates. They get notified on their desktop as regular users and I showed them how to switch user to an sudoer account and install the updates. When the updates are complete they just switch back to their regular account.
It's only been a couple of months and these are by no means power users with complex app requirements or the need to play games but that said, for their simple needs, every
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I agree the unified updates are wonderful with Linux, an area where Linux is clearly ahead of Windows and OSX. That being said, when something goes wrong with Linux updates the level of technical complexity assumed is quite high. Higher than making the few registry changes that is all that is needed to get 8.1 to update for these people.
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It is only on incredibly rare occasion that I've had to tweak a configuration file on Linux doing an update.
I am a little perturbed however with the new Fedora default of "reboot to update" ... (you can install a separate updater that doesn't require reboots).
One of those unable to install the 8.1 update (Score:4, Interesting)
I'm not sure what the issue is. Both times I've tried to install it I end up with a black screen with no error message, no hard drive activity, nothing at all. Both times I've had to use my 8 disk to revert to regular Win8.
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If you don't have a Pro license, have you tried a Linux distro?
I don't know if you can still slipstream updates, but maybe you could try that. Clean installation with all mandatory patches.
VM (Score:5, Funny)
I run Windows 8 in a VM on Vista. It's like a layer cake of failure.
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I run Windows 8 in a VM on Vista. It's like a layer cake of failure.
If only you duel booted your Vista install with Windows ME and installed BOB on it, then you would have the ultimate windows fiasco in a box.
I run in windows 7. (Score:2)
Useful link? (Score:2)
As most people will have heard, Microsoft will end support for anyone who hasn't upgraded to Win8.1 Update 1 on May 8
[/quote]
So, how about a link to a press release from Microsoft for verification? It doesn't seem to be mentioned on their lifetime chart.(Windows Update Lifecycle [microsoft.com])
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regular users (Score:3)
Do regular users even know what and where the "update log" is?
I don't blame Microsoft for orphaning 8.1 early -- it's a mess and a corporate embarrassment, and the sooner they get people off it the better. My copy of 8 went back on the shelf, and it'll stay there until I'm comfortable that Microsoft understands that most of their customers don't have touch screens and they have to provide for that.
Geekly early adopters will figure out how to upgrade. Although they may be more vocal, they'll be less affected than the regular users, the people who buy computers to do stuff and not to manage operating systems, will be.
From a marketing standpoint, Microsoft really needs to get the name "windows 8" out of the public mindshare. It tastes like failure.
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Haven't you seen the MS commercials lately?
They all mention "The New Windows!", NOT "Windows 8!" Because they know that regular users have already latched on to the idea that Windows 8 is "bad". The same thing happened to Vista. Maybe both OS's deserve it, maybe not, but when you overhear Joe Schmoe computer buyer at Fry's saying "Oh, no I want the one with the good Windows", (I seriously heard this around the time Vista was cratering and again a few months back) you know you have a problem.
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Exactly. The actual situation isn't as important as the users' perception, and currently that's pretty bad. I would submit that Windows 8 deserves every complaint, but then again, I'm a user. Someone who's.... I dunno, not a user? Works in Microsoft? Goes off bullet points instead of usage in the field? ...may have a different opinion.
Awful (Score:5, Informative)
The thing would not download updates. It would just say "Downloading updates..." and stall for hours at a time. I searched as much as I could online and only found barely any help. Most of it involved stopping the windows update agent service, and then deleting cached update files. But then it would just freeze again when I started it again. After a whole bunch of attempts, I noticed it was filling up the cache folder again after every time I restarted the update service, and that if I waited a bit, and then rebooted the computer, it would apply a few patches. So... that's ultimately how I ended up getting the thing all patched up. Stop update service, delete all cached patches, start update service, wait a few hours while they download in the background with no fucking mention of what is going on, reboot machine. I guess running the windows update must have been causing some sort of deadlock with the background updater or something... What a fucking mess. How in the world did they ship an OS with a non functioning update manager... And to top it all off, I couldn't just download win 8.1 separately, like how you could download the xp service packs separately. If I could have just done that... it would have been a hell of a lot simpler to get everything working. Instead they want you to download it through the microsoft store in metro... which won't show up unless, you guessed it, you already have fully updated through windows update.
On the plus side, everything works fine now that it is fully updated.
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It actually does take hours. One thing I've learned is to be patient and just let the thing sit. I just did the exact same thing as you (Mom's XP, new Laptop, Windows 8 to 8.1 Update1).
Surprisingly long time on a relatively speedy network. I can't explain it.
Disinformation (Score:3, Insightful)
Windows 8.0 will continue to be supported.
Windows 8.1 will be supported if you have Update 1 installed.
Its only Windows 8.1 that doesn't have Update 1 that is losing support.
I'm not a fan of that, but don't make it out to be more than it is. Its certainly not the end of the world.
Had problem with one machine (Score:2)
but not another. Problem machine was AMD based, I think that my have something to do with it. This [softpedia.com] seemed to finally fix it for me. I also used the standalone installer.
The Inhell machine updted no problems.
good thing... (Score:3)
8.0 (Score:2)
I shouldn't expect Slashdot to post correct info (Score:2)
Microsoft moved the drop dead installation date until August.
http://www.infoworld.com/t/mic... [infoworld.com]
Corporate Windows admins roared, and Microsoft backed off, pulling the patch from the WSUS update server regimen, fixing the WSUS-specific problems, and reinstating it eight days later all while simultaneously extending the drop-dead patching deadline for WSUS (and Intune and System Center Configuration Manager) corporate customers to August.
Oh noes! (Score:3)
Re:Apocalypse, Really? (Score:5, Insightful)
Would you care to read the summary and try again?
Re:Apocalypse, Really? (Score:5, Informative)
No, it's microsoft having a different minimum spec for 8.0 and 8.1. It's a cpu issue. Version n.x software should alway run on the same hardware n.x-1 ran on.
What does Microsoft suggest people do about this? Buy new hardware? Live without the security fixes after just a year or so? Downgrade to 7?
In some countries this would possibly enter consumer protection territory. In the UK possibly the 1979 Sale Of Goods Act.
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Buh-buh-buh-but the EULA!
Re:Apocalypse, Really? (Score:5, Informative)
>Freshly minted account
>Only posts on this thread - no other posts on anything ever
>Friends: dingl_ (3643599) is all alone in the world.
>Blaming the user
>Blaming the OEM
>Blaming anyone but Microsoft
Oh look, a new Microsoft shill account.
--
BMO
Re:Apocalypse, Really? (Score:5, Interesting)
Shill or not, he does has a valid point (I have not looked at the other comments).
As much as I personally hate automatic updates, as I decide when I want to update shit, for the vast unwashed masses, it is not a bad idea. Too many of my friends and family (I no longer play tech support except for direct family.. aka my wife) have had machines with years of missing patches, and they wonder why their machines are up shits creek.
I on the other hand, have a windows 8.1 slate I used for my car (runs vehicle diagnostic software, not the std odb reader crap), I cannot get update 1, I get the failure many others are getting. I cannot go back to Windows 7 because too many missing drivers, and very unreliable touchscreen experience. I have tried the windows 8 drivers on 7 with no luck. So for me, I will no longer have support (I do not need technical support, I would like security updates at least).
Good thing I do not use that for anything other than car diagnostics... At least my car won't give my computer herpes :P
Vehicle dignostics software on Windows 8 (Score:3)
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Not only is the update failing for some people, but Microsoft has also made re-installations a pain for some of the rest of us. I bought a Windows 7 machine a few years ago, and decided to go ahead and upgrade to Windows 8. So I bought Windows 8, but they only sold Windows 8 as an "upgrade" which means I can only install it from an executable from Windows 7. I can't install a clean copy directly, and at the time I bought it, Microsoft was literally not offering a "retail" version of Windows 8, instead of
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If some users can't update it sounds like an OEM issue to me, or other conflicting software/ driver or firmware problem.. Not much Microsoft can do, its an OEM problem
If you even bothered to look into it at all you'd see that your statement is false. It *is* a Microsoft issue, but then again looking at your details I wouldn't be surprised if you're just using a sockpuppet account to astroturf for MS>
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Did you even read TFS? Apparently, for a lot of people, Update 1 simply won't install for some reason. How are these people supposed to apply OS updates when the OS won't allow it?
Re:Apocalypse, Really? (Score:5, Interesting)
Did you even read TFS? Apparently, for a lot of people, Update 1 simply won't install for some reason. How are these people supposed to apply OS updates when the OS won't allow it?
I got a brand new Windows 7 Lenovo machine for my folks' small business (to avert the imminent XPocalypse that I told them about two years ago, and eighteen months ago, and twelve months ago ... .) and I was shocked how a new-out-of-box Windows 7 machine not only needed about eight reboots to update itself, but that out of 147 updates there were like 24 that failed to apply. Reboot-re-run was needed about five times to just get through all those failed applies.
I'm more used to lazily installing a CentOS 6.0 DVD and running yum update and getting 959 updates which all apply in one smooth transaction. And that stuff was just written by a few part-time guys at Duke (of course credit to RHAT hackers for making it faster).
I wasn't surprised by XP's crummy updater, but by time Windows 7 came out they should have had this nailed with a team of pros working on it, and that this stuff is still broken in 8.1 is ridiculous. And to add insult to injury, they charge money for this junk!
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Really?
Better explain all the 0x80070002, 0x80073712, and 0x80070005 errors in my update log then.
And no, I don't think it's an OEM problem since the logs indicate a missing file in the update itself, at least for some of the errors.
Maybe you should read what the issue is (Score:2, Informative)
You may want to read up on the issue. The problem is people CAN'T update.
There is a particular update that can fail and then it blocks all the other automatic updates from happening. So without even touching the machine and automatic updates turned on you get a computer that does not get any updates. The machine won't even notify you in the store that 8.1 is available until you get that one particular update cleaned up.
This is through no fault of the end user, its completely a Microsoft issue.
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Yeah, my PC is stuck. I've tried every trick on every page I find and nothing works. I've probably spent 30 hours on it so far. I had no problems upgrading to 8.1. I'm now to the point where I'm uninstalling software to see if it works. If tonight's series of tests do not work, I have to flash the OS... and I'm not putting 8 on it again.
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Damn I need to use preview when posting from my phone.
How does trash autocorrect to yeah anyways?
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you obviously don't remember XP SP2 and SP3, both of which were very painful updates for many.
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So OF COURSE that means that NOBODY ELSE is having problems ANYWHERE!
RTFA, N00b!
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Oh sweet! dingl_ has a couple of anecdotes that unequivocally prove the summary and all the other posters wrong so problem solved, apocalypse averted. Thanks dingl_!
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Bingo, if it fails on >25% of hardware I would be happy to scream "M$" with the rest of the herd but I've seen it update fine on Lenogo, Dell, my custom build (and Surface Pro) with no problems. The hardware driver hell that comes along with some brands of laptops lately is brutally frustrating.
Re:There are people running 8.1? (Score:5, Informative)
Are there still people running windows ?
Many more than all other platform combined, at least on the desktop.
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