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The Internet Crime The Almighty Buck

Internet Dating Scams Target Older American Women 176

Posted by samzenpus from the soft-targets dept.
HughPickens.com writes: The NYT reports: "Janet N. Cook, a church secretary in Virginia, had been a widow for a decade when she joined an Internet dating site and was quickly overcome by a rush of emails, phone calls and plans for a face-to-face visit. "I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells and described himself as a middle-aged German businessman looking for someone "confident" and "outspoken" to travel with him to places like Italy, his "dream destination." But very soon he began describing various troubles, including being hospitalized in Ghana, where he had gone on business, and asked Cook to bail him out. In all, she sent him nearly $300,000, as he apparently followed a well-honed script that online criminals use to bilk members of dating sites out of tens of millions of dollars a year."

According to the Times internet scammers are targeting women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million, according to the federal Internet Crime Complaint Center. Older people are ideal targets because they often have accumulated savings over a lifetime, own their homes and are susceptible to being deceived by someone intent on fraud. The digital version of the romance con is now sufficiently widespread that AARP's Fraud Watch Network has urged online dating sites to institute more safeguards to protect against such fraud. The AARP network recommends that dating site members use Google's "search by image" to see if the suitor's picture appears on other sites with different names. If an email from "a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites," the network advised. The website romancescams.org lists red flags to look for to identify such predators, who urgently appeal to victims for money to cover financial setbacks like unexpected fines, money lost to robbery or unpaid wages. Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened, and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs."It makes me sound so stupid, but he would be calling me in the evening and at night. It felt so real. We had plans to go to the Bahamas and to Bermuda together," says Louise Brown. "When I found out it was a scam, I felt so betrayed. I kept it secret from my family for two years, but it's an awful thing to carry around. But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him."
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Internet Dating Scams Target Older American Women More

Internet Dating Scams Target Older American Women

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  • Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mi ( 197448 ) <slashdot-2017q4@virtual-estates.net> on Sunday July 19, 2015 @03:11PM (#50141139) Homepage Journal

    "I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells [...] In all, she sent him nearly $300,000

    Much as hate to appear victim-blaming, even an utter polyanna-style naïvette would've ended at $3,000. Beyond that, it is stupidity.

    "He" (and am not at all sure, there is an identifiable "he" to this scam — more likely a work of an enterprise) is a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook. But, boy, the lady is stupid...

    • Re:Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Interesting)

      by gweihir ( 88907 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @03:18PM (#50141163)

      While it is not nice, I have to completely agree. This person has lost all reason and all understanding of context there. That is rightfully called "stupid".

      This is not a problem the dating-sites can fix. Stupidity carries a price, sometimes a high one. And there is no way to protect those suffering from it except by removing their freedom to act as they see fit. That is of course completely unacceptable.

      • Re:Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Informative)

        by nedlohs ( 1335013 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @04:30PM (#50141401)

        Cognitive decay is part of again (though of course it's not 100% universal). Lots of old people are "stupid" even though they weren't a few years ago. And we do find it acceptable to remove their freedom to act as they see fit - those who get particularly bad tend to have a child (or other trusted person) have power of attorney and essentially make all their important decisions for them.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by taustin ( 171655 )

          And is this story were about her resenting having a guardian appointed to manager he money, I'd be sympathetic (though I'd have to agree). But it's not. It's about a woman who sent over a quarter of a million dollars to a stranger, and claims not to be stupid.

        • Re:Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Interesting)

          by cusco ( 717999 ) <brian@bixby.gmail@com> on Monday July 20, 2015 @04:53AM (#50143813)

          Keep in mind that in the time period she was raised 'trust' was the default in social interactions. My grandfather ended up financing the stocking of a minimarket and never got a penny back in the 1950s. It wasn't until after that experience that he distrusted people asking for money. If she never got ripped off before her scam-o-meter never got recalibrated. Some of these guys are really good too, and remember how many professional investors get taken each year.

          • Keep in mind that in the time period she was raised 'trust' was the default in social interactions.

            That raises the question, were people really more trustworthy then? Or were women simply not permitted to engage in as much economic activity, and consequently not exposed to as many frauds? Now that many more women have their own money, it's become even more worth it to target them — not that romance-related fraud is anything new.

            • Re: (Score:2)

              by mi ( 197448 )

              That raises the question, were people really more trustworthy then? Or were women simply not permitted to engage in as much economic activity, and consequently not exposed to as many frauds?

              A read of O'Henry (himself a fraudster) or Jack London reveals plenty of fraud in 19th century America — and plenty of males falling victim to it too.

              Was there more of it back then than today is harder to say — literature does not allow for quantitative assessments...

          • I consider "trust" to be the default nowadays. It just works better. Sure, I get scammed for a few bucks sometimes, but it's worth it, and I automatically get suspicious when asked for larger amounts of money.

      • Re:Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Insightful)

        by twistedcubic ( 577194 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @05:08PM (#50141507)
        It may not be as stupid as you think, just naive. She even forgave the scammer, which I believe suggests he provided some great conversation and (fake) friendship. Remember guys, great conversation to women can be as good as a strip tease to men. Also, unless she spent all the money (it doesn't say), $300,000 to a 76 year old is not the same as $300,000 to a 26 year old. Any older person with that much spare money has all their needs taken care of, except for companionship, perhaps. The only obvious losers are her heirs, who should just get jobs anyway.

        • Unless of course the money that has been scammed away was always been earmarked for long term care. Now it is gone the children will have to make a decision about whether to let their parents have a much lower quality of care than expected or completely change their living arrangements to accommodate them under there supervision. Now Base all this on the lack of trust going forward and you have serious emotional issues for all involved.

          I suggest that it is those who have not been involved in this kind of sh

        • Re:Yes, you ARE stupid (Score:5, Interesting)

          by drinkypoo ( 153816 ) <drink@hyperlogos.org> on Sunday July 19, 2015 @06:32PM (#50141789) Homepage Journal

          It may not be as stupid as you think, just naive.

          No. Naive would be believing his story in the first place. Stupid is sending him the money. It's just fucking stupid. I can see sending someone a little bit of money, maybe, but not a large amount you can't afford to lose. That is stupid by any rational definition.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by gsslay ( 807818 )

          I think you have a very naive idea about the finances of a 76 year old. The money doesn't need to have been 'spare'. That woman could have just lost every penny she has, and has no prospect of earning any more. How is she to support herself for the rest of her life? That could easily be another 20+ years.

    • Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)

      by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @04:07PM (#50141321)
      Comment removed based on user account deletion

      • Re:Old people are more susceptible to scams (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 19, 2015 @04:23PM (#50141381)

        I speculate that a few factors combine to make them more susceptible:

        1) Age-related cognitive decline. It is a realty, and one well-worth hating. People who experience this often don't realize it (they aren't in a position to be objective about it), and have some pride blocking them from admitting it (after all, they have a lot of success showing just how smart they are!).

        2) Lonliness. The young-and-attractive simply do not experience this like the elderly do. Even people who have spent their lives single, by their own choice, have enough social interaction with the other gender to not really feel the sting of lonliness. On top of that, the age-related cognitive decline can include the reduction of the neurological barriers that help people turn the volume down on these negative emotions....making them even worse. These emotions don't just feel bad...they are strong enough to hijack the reasoning process, making people cognitively incapable of thinking straight.

        3) Existential crisis. We all know we are going to die...but the reality of that is an abstract far-away eventuality for most of our lives. Once you retire, however, and have more time to sit around and think, the reality of this starts really closing in on you. It can create a lot of anxiety and depression, which makes people flail about emotionally...reaching out to anything they can hold on to.

        It is easy for us young, socially-involved, job-having types to get derisive when old people do things that are this wildly stupid. It isn't entirely warranted, however, as the brain does wear out eventually....and yours will too.

        • I'd also hypothesize just lack of familiarity with some of the common scams, due to not being involved in a community or social setting where you'd run across them and learn about them. I recognize typical internet scams because I grew up on the internet and spend a lot of time there. At a glance I can recognize a lot of scams and even tell you which ones they are (many have names). My parents have more difficulty detecting obvious internet scams, and when they do it usually takes them more effort. They have to actually think through what might be going on, what the motivations would be, etc., whereas I recognize them by pattern-matching.

          • Re: (Score:2)

            by cusco ( 717999 )

            Two or three years ago a 30-something year old friend of my wife was all ready to give her bank account info to a Nigerian prince. Hotmail's filter finally failed her that one time, and she'd never seen that particular scam before. Novelty can be powerful, especially when combined with greed.

          • I grew up way before the Internet became a reality to the wide world. Scams are scams. "On the internet" is not enough to garner a patent, it is not enough to garner a new name for an old art: Scam.

            If you can fall for a scam on the Internet, you can fall for one through plain old snail mail. The Internet just makes communications quicker and exposure more likely.

      • In the end, most relationships are either scams or based on scams. If you were fully honest during dating, you wouldn't get very far.

        People have been married to scam artists, more people than would dare admit. I got married in a whirlwind romance with someone half a world away and divorced 2 years later, in the end all I wonder is whether that person didn't just marry me in order to travel where we decided to live. That or to get away from oppressive religious restrictions on sex.

        In the end the only differe

    • Not just that, a person called himself 'Kelvin Wells' and she concluded that he's German just b'cos he told her? Didn't she have any clue about English vs German names? Kelvin Wells is clearly an English name and would have been a native of an English speaking country, like UK, NZ, Australia, South Africa, Canada or US

      • Believe it or not, there are a lot of Germans of English descent.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by dave420 ( 699308 )
        It does look a bit dodgy, I agree. I thought the same thing when I read the name. I then looked on the internet, and there is at least one Kelvin Wells living in Germany. Whether he is German or not I don't know, but that seems good enough.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by tlhIngan ( 30335 )

      Much as hate to appear victim-blaming, even an utter polyanna-style naÃvette would've ended at $3,000. Beyond that, it is stupidity.

      "He" (and am not at all sure, there is an identifiable "he" to this scam â" more likely a work of an enterprise) is a crook and should be hung alive by his rib on a rusty hook. But, boy, the lady is stupid...

      Yet people throw billions, if not trillions of dollars away in "gambling" every year.

      And we're not talking "let's spend $20 on the slots to pass the time for fun"

  • Not 'news' (Score:4, Insightful)

    by nospam007 ( 722110 ) * on Sunday July 19, 2015 @03:27PM (#50141197)

    That's a long con that has been in existence since the very first newspaper introduced a dating column.

    Flimflam people have computers too.

  • including being hospitalized in Ghana

    EJECT EJECT EJECT

  • Where do these old people get so much money? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 19, 2015 @03:32PM (#50141217)

    I hope to christ i have 300 grand to fritter away when i'm in my 70s

  • Erm, americans, that is!

    I guess 10-20 years in prisson is the right penalty! Or death penalty! After all wistle blowers and some script kiddies are threatened the same! ...

  • Comment removed (Score:4, Interesting)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @03:41PM (#50141241)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • Ironically, Ms Cook is "a church secretary".

    Now where do those "how to meet a man" articles always tell you to look for your true love? Right you are: on the Internet :-)
    • Couldn't she have used match.com? eharmony? Any number of other dating sites?
      • They don't say which "Internet dating site" she used but another victim did indeed meet her con-artist (or perhaps it was a group of con-artists) through Match.com:

        Then in 2012, on Match.com, she met a man who called himself Thomas. He said he was a road contractor in Maine and was about to leave for a business venture in Malaysia.

  • to get her from the Soviet Union, i ordered her on my new Windows 95 computer for 20 dollars, she said she was packing her bags and catching the next steam ship to america, i hope she hurries up because i am sure getting tired of waiting

  • Newsflash, the desperate have computers too (Score:5, Insightful)

    by ErichTheRed ( 39327 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @04:18PM (#50141363)

    I just turned 40 and am a happily married guy, so I haven't been "on the market" lately. But, I do know a lot of people, men and women, who are increasingly desperate and affected with the "urge to merge." $300K is excessive, and I think most reasonable people would have seen the light sooner. But I can definitely see this demographic being a good target for con artists. This guy even pushed the Italy button -- what lovesick middle aged woman doesn't dream of some crazy Tuscan romance fantasy?

    That said, things are different now and it is harder for older people to find suitable partners -- they're fishing in a dwindling pool full of:
    - Unpleasant, bitter divorcees who have had their personalities permanently ruined
    - The unmarryable -- men and women -- who haven't been able to attract anyone due to serious flaws of one kind or another
    - The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

    Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky, but I definitely see their point. If your choices are limited, and someone suddenly comes along who isn't a player, doesn't live in Mom's basement, and isn't an RMS clone, I could see being very vulnerable.

    • This guy even pushed the Italy button -- what lovesick middle aged woman doesn't dream of some crazy Tuscan romance fantasy?

      Or, not even middle-aged [theonion.com], if you're willing to stretch your imagination a little.

    • and isn't an RMS clone

      Strangely enough, she may have been safer with someone like that.

    • That said, things are different now and it is harder for older people to find suitable partners -- they're fishing in a dwindling pool full of: - Unpleasant, bitter divorcees who have had their personalities permanently ruined - The unmarryable -- men and women -- who haven't been able to attract anyone due to serious flaws of one kind or another - The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

      They should be hunting widowers.

    • Every woman around my age mentions this as their problem. Some might say they're being too picky,

      It is a problem, and they *are* being too picky. Men's desirability rises over time[1] while women's drop. A 45yo man has no problem hooking up either temporarily or permanently with a 30yo woman. As long as he was employed continuously over his lifetime he has acquired those items that make men attractive (money, power, owned house, etc).

      A 45yo women, OTOH, has *lost* those items that made her attractive (youth, beauty). So answer me this: why the hell would a 45yo man hook up with a 45yo woman when he has

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by ruir ( 2709173 )
        A woman at 45 in the USA will have got the assets of her ex....no beauty but money.

        • A woman at 45 in the USA will have got the assets of her ex....no beauty but money.

          And she will soon learn all about the evaporative effects of inflation - people who have not earned money tend to lose it. Those who have earned money but lost it will earn it again. I've been through the divorce, and 8 years later I'm richer than my ex even though she got everything,

      • Maybe you hang around the wrong kind of women. Sure, appearance may fade with age, but that is, quite literally, only the surface of that which makes any woman attractive. There is so much more underneath, for those who care enough to look.

        • Maybe you hang around the wrong kind of women. Sure, appearance may fade with age, but that is, quite literally, only the surface of that which makes any woman attractive. There is so much more underneath, for those who care enough to look.

          You are working on the incorrect assumption that a young and beautiful woman has nothing substantial underneath the beauty. Depth and beauty are not mutually exclusive. Why bother with a less attractive older lady when I can easily get the same benefits from a younger attractive woman and have the bonus of having an attractive partner?

          Less attractive members of both sexes have to work harder to attract a potential mate, Just as older women have to provide something more than depth to compensate for lack of

          • I could not possibly be working from that assumption, because I'm blessed to be married to exactly such a woman, who is beautiful both inside and out. I know one day her outer beauty may fade (though probably not for a while - her mom is beautiful as well). But if it is doing so now, it is doing so imperceptibly, whereas her inner beauty . . her kindness and thoughtfulness and strength and intelligence and many other insanely wonderful qualities . . . continue to impress me more and more, each and every

            • I could not possibly be working from that assumption, because I'm blessed to be married to exactly such a woman, who is beautiful both inside and out. I know one day her outer beauty may fade (though probably not for a while - her mom is beautiful as well). But if it is doing so now, it is doing so imperceptibly, whereas her inner beauty . . her kindness and thoughtfulness and strength and intelligence and many other insanely wonderful qualities . . . continue to impress me more and more, each and every time we manage to spend time together. I am sure that sooner or later she will get sick of me and ditch me for someone better, but there is *zero* chance I would ever want to leave her or to want anyone else. She is that wonderful.

              That's a totally different proposition - if you are already with someone you are happy with then what she looks like probably makes no difference to how you feel about her. I know this, because I'm married too.

              The post I responded was not about how women feel about their current partner. Specifically, it was about how women over 40 have limited choices. TBH, an over 40 women who is looking will have to drastically lower her expectations - she cannot be as picky as a 25 year old. She will have to settle for

      • Men's desirability rises over time[1] ...

        [1] up to around age 55-60. At which point it stabilises, then drops slowly.

        That's right, ladies, you heard him. I'm nearing peak desirability! Queue forms to the left. No pushing or shoving please, there's plenty of me to go around.

    • Re:Newsflash, the desperate have computers too (Score:4, Insightful)

      by cayenne8 ( 626475 ) on Monday July 20, 2015 @09:20AM (#50144803) Homepage Journal

      The permanently single -- aka the creepy 55 year old guy still hitting on women in the bar with no intention of settling down or even being honest

      Aside from the parts about not being honest, you seem to turn your nose up at the concept of someone not wanting to marry and to have new and exciting experiences with different women over their lives.

      Why is a guy 55 with no intentions of marrying or "settling down" creepy to use your term?

      If a guy settles down he ceases to be creepy? Why?

      Honestly, at age 50+ it is a GREAT time to be a single man and still hunting women. If you're gunning for women in your own age group, the good thing is, their kids are pretty much GROWN and out of the house and not a drag on you or the relationship. You also have a good job, and disposable income (both of you do) which is nice and so finances aren't that big a strain on the dating or even relationship if it happens.

      At this age, you are both usually more able to travel and experience fun things.

      If you're hunting for the younger ladies, well, again...your more mature, fiscally established and know what your doing in life, can be more confident and all which does make you more attractive to a large swath of women out there.

      Again, not talking about being dishonest, but I'm puzzled why you have the notion that "no intention of settling down" is synonymous with "creepy".

      • Why is a guy 55 with no intentions of marrying or "settling down" creepy to use your term?

        I was annoyed by that sentence too, but I agreed with the last part — at least being honest. What's funny is that a percentage of women are definitely interested in someone who is not interested in settling down, and a further percentage who will attempt to change their minds. When I lived in Austin, I represented myself honestly as someone who was still trying to work out some relationship issues, and just couldn't see myself in a long-term relationship. In spite of that, and a ridiculously expanded

  • It seems like these [wikipedia.org]kind of people [wikipedia.org] are still alive and well.

  • Where are these women? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Beardo the Bearded ( 321478 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @06:50PM (#50141871)

    As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      As a single guy in my late 30s, I would bang a 70-year old if I got 300k a year for it.

      I'm a single guy in my late 70s. I'd bang a 30 year old if I got $3 a year for it

  • Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men... (Score:4, Informative)

    by balaam's ass ( 678743 ) on Sunday July 19, 2015 @08:10PM (#50142221) Journal
    Meanwhile, internet dating scams targeting men have always existed, but don't seem to garner nearly the same media attention as those targeting women. Maybe because people just accept it as part of the 'reality of the internet'?
    [Single photo of extremely attractive woman, poor use of English, etc, etc]..

    One could argue that online dating sites themselves are scams targeting men, given the unfavorable gender-ratios involved.

    • Re:Meanwhile, dating scams targeting men... (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 19, 2015 @10:25PM (#50142775)

      As if anyone is shocked by the disparity.

      If you are a woman taken in by a con man, PUA, etc., he manipulated and used you. He is a sociopath. A misogynist.

      If you are a man taken in by a pretty face, well you should have known better. You were thinking with your johnson. And not all women are like that.

    • "don't seem to garner nearly the same media attention as those targeting women"

      Here is *one* story of women being targeted. The only way there could be fewer stories about men is if there had never been any at all.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by ruir ( 2709173 )
      You could argue? You are fucking kidding me. Try to subscribe one within the experimental period, and you will see how soon someone "in your area" talks to you, just to get you as a paid customer. You know, there are people paid to do that, some people even reported some of these people even attended first meetings as cover. This comment must be very naive indeed.
  • "lacking intelligence or common sense."

    It is definitely common sense not to send $300,000 to a person one has never met face-to-face who claims to be taken ill in Ghana.

    Sorry, that is almost a textbook example of lack of common sense, and therefore qualifies as S T U P I D

  • ...it was a couple years back. Met this girl online, real nice, pretty photo, all that jazz. She got real close real quick--quick enough that I started doing a little research on the side. Like when she said her brother had died of cancer, and the only person I could find with that name had died in a drive-by. Then she lowered the boom: she was stuck in a hotel in London, her finances from the family business had some sort of snarl-up, and she couldn't leave until she got money to pay the bill.

    A-ha.

    I played

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