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Is LinkedIn Becoming the Hottest New Dating Site? (businessinsider.com) 110

Business Insider's Kelli Maria Korducki reports on a growing trend happening on LinkedIn: some people are using the professional network for personal connections, fielding romantic offers amid job postings. But that leaves the question: Is it a good idea to mix work and love? From the report: Dustin Kidd, a professor of sociology at Temple University who researches social media and pop culture, said that dating via LinkedIn belonged to a long tradition of "dating hacks" -- using online tools designed for other purposes to snag a date. "In the aughts, this happened with Friendster and then Myspace," Kidd said, but has since spread to myriad platforms that are ostensibly romance-free. Even fitness-tracking sites such as Strava are fair game. The common thread for love-hijacked social-media sites is a single feature, Kidd said: DMs. "The design of LinkedIn helps to maintain its focus on the professional, but any platform with a direct-messaging option is likely to also be used to pursue sex and dating," he told me. The ease and relative privacy of direct messaging help explain how some people are using LinkedIn for romance, but it doesn't explain why. In an age with so many dedicated dating platforms -- from giants such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge to niche apps including Feeld (for the unconventional), Pure (for the noncommittal), and NUiT (for the astrologically inclined) -- why mix Cupid's arrow with corporate updates?

Any type of social media where you can see people's pictures can turn into a dating app. And LinkedIn is even better because it's not just showing people's fake lives. One answer may be the growing number of Americans who have gotten tired of the roulette-like experience that comes with modern dating apps. In a 2023 Pew survey of US adults, nearly one-third of respondents said they had used an online dating site or app at least once. More than half of women who had used the apps reported feeling overwhelmed by the number of messages they had received in the past year, while 64% of men said they felt insecure from the lack of messages they had gotten. Though an overwhelming majority of men and women said they'd felt excited about people they connected with, an even-larger proportion of respondents said they were sometimes or often disappointed by their matches. [...]

LinkedIn's appeal as a dating site, according to people who use it that way, is the platform's ability to give back some of that control and boost the caliber of their prospects. Because the professional-networking site asks users to link to their current and former employers' profile pages, it offers an additional layer of credibility that other social-media platforms lack. Many profiles also include first-person references from former colleagues and managers -- real people with real profile pages. [...] Even for those who shy away from using LinkedIn to angle for dates, the site has become a go-to tool for vetting romantic candidates found through conventional dating apps or in-person encounters. "Social media is just one big dating app," [said Samuela John, a 24-year-old personal organizer in New York City who developed chemistry with an oil-industry man on the platform]. "Any type of social media where you can see people's pictures can turn into a dating app. And LinkedIn is even better because it's not just showing people's fake lives." [...] "I don't think you should go into it like, 'All right, I'm going to find my husband on LinkedIn,'" John said. "I think you should go about it as if you were just networking, like in a casual sense. And then if you end up meeting the person, see the vibes and then go from there."

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Is LinkedIn Becoming the Hottest New Dating Site?

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  • by Entrope ( 68843 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @06:06AM (#64135863) Homepage

    Those of us old enough to remember platforms like MUDs/MOOs and IRC know that direct messaging was hardly a prerequisite for trying to pick people up online.

    "A/S/L?"
    "Yes!"

  • It has always been a hotbed for scam messages, from sexy looking beings
  • no (Score:5, Funny)

    by echostorm ( 865318 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @06:18AM (#64135877)

    It's not.
    Nice try Microsoft

  • by 93 Escort Wagon ( 326346 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @06:29AM (#64135887)

    Just about everyone I know has a LinkedIn account. And just about everyone I know has told me the only time they visit LinkedIn is when they're looking for a new job or approving some new connection request.

    • by quall ( 1441799 )

      And yet 90% of the posts look as if they belong on Facebook, or are some staged proverb video about helping people and being kind.

      • I've seen those posts when I log into LinkedIn every year or two - but it's never, ever from people I'm connected to. Since it's pretty widely assumed that LinkedIn would *love* to become more like Facebook, I've assumed all of those crap posts are being generated on behalf of some LinkedIn-driven initiative and are directly or indirectly driven by LinkedIn's marketing and PR teams.

        • Many people use the linkedin-app.
          The app asks for permission to access the phones contacts.
          The whole contacts get uploaded to linkedin.
          They make a network of people who are connected via 1 or 2 hopps.
          You get suggestions for people who are more than hop away.

    • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

      What other reason is there to visit LinkedIn? The only other content I've seen is people posting industry articles that I don't care about.

  • by Antique Geekmeister ( 740220 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @06:31AM (#64135889)

    It especially makes sense if you're a gold digger or a scammer.

  • "But that leaves the question: Is it a good idea to mix work and love?"

    The only thing this leaves after reading the question, is why the hell we're asking it.

    If nepotism is illegal in many areas, then we shouldn't be questioning if breaking the law is a "good idea" or not.

    • by coopertempleclause ( 7262286 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @06:42AM (#64135903)
      I feel like you don't know what "nepotism" means...
      • I feel like you don't know what "nepotism" means...

        I feel like you have no idea why it's illegal in many areas, but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...

        • I feel like you don't know what "nepotism" means...

          I feel like you have no idea why it's illegal in many areas, but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...

          Once again, you didn't answer the question. Do you, or do you not, know what nepotism is without looking it up?

          • I feel like you don't know what "nepotism" means...

            I feel like you have no idea why it's illegal in many areas, but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...

            Once again, you didn't answer the question. Do you, or do you not, know what nepotism is without looking it up?

            I'm well aware of the definition, but tell me something; Is there a reason you're looking to split cunt hairs on this definition as if there's some new-and-improved plan for executing painfully obvious favoritism in the workplace?

            Unlike many other words, this definition hasn't changed to fit some delusional narrative. Still illegal for the same reasons too.

        • but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...

          You only get one life, why waste time half arsing it?

          I work professionally on and off with my partner over the > 20 years we've been together. Why would I not want to?

          • but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...

            You only get one life, why waste time half arsing it?

            I work professionally on and off with my partner over the > 20 years we've been together. Why would I not want to?

            Not saying you wouldn't want to, but managers certainly do not want to be pushed into your relationship any more than you would want them there.

            Managers have a job to do, which is manage the people and resources assigned. That includes workloads, promotions, and terminations. Otherwise known as all those things that can and often do directly affect a personal relationship. As long as all parties fully respect the job a manager is tasked with for every decision they make, the problems of nepotism do not a

        • but tell me again how mixing work and love is a great idea...
          Why would it not?
          Over 40% of all couples who marry meet first time at their workplace.

          Where else would you meet likeminded people, except for a dating site?

          Work or sports is the most simplest and most logical place to find another single and start a relationship.

      • by mjwx ( 966435 )

        I feel like you don't know what "nepotism" means...

        I don't think he's the one that doesn't understand the definition of "nepotism". Nepotism is using your position, money or influence to get good jobs, in particular, jobs the candidate is unqualified for or unfair advantages to members of your own family, this can include ones married in or even defacto.

    • The only thing this leaves after reading the question, is why the hell we're asking it.

      Because the answer is "it depends" and blindly applying blanket, overly simplistic rules is stupid.

      If nepotism is illegal in many areas, then we shouldn't be questioning if breaking the law is a "good idea" or not.

      WTF has nepotism got to do with it? Is your only conception of mixing work and love nepotism?

    • If the societal consensus is that work and love should not be mixed, then society will split into a class of eunuch worker drones and (if lucky) a separate class of idle breeders. It is very hard to find a partner if most of your time and energy are spent in a celibate environment. It's better not force people to choose between a paycheck and their future children.

  • and they are all offering to make me filthy rich too.

  • Aka "Your CEO and CFO positions are so sexy".

    • "Look at the advanced graduate degree on her!"

      (this might not work)

      • Advanced degrees don't mean jack shit.

        Welcome to the economy, where it doesn't matter what you know but who you know.

  • Once they have a profile on the dating site they'll be swept away by a swarm of horny men. If you're the only one hitting on them at some inappropriate place your chances are better.
    • It’s true. When I was single I always scooped up the prettiest girls pairing up at ballet and yoga classes where I was the only straight guy. But if you try to fuck the prettiest 5/10 from data structures and algorithms man you’re gonna have a rough time.

  • People have always found mates through work, professional association, etc. Why would LinkedIn be any different?
    • Re:Um, yeah? (Score:4, Interesting)

      by eneville ( 745111 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @09:47AM (#64136081) Homepage

      The difference is marketing.

      LinkedIn was ok-ish as a online CV, sort of.

      Now MSFT want to make more money at it, but they make it suck more first with more recruiters. People are more than likely leaving, and their last attempt now looks like to push it into the Fecebook/Tinder territory of quick dating connections. Yuck!

    • Yep, I married my coworker 33 years ago, and we're still married. We didn't have LinkedIn back then, but if we did, I'm sure I would have checked out her profile at some point. Would it have been my first choice of a method of communication? Probably not, but it's all part of the mix.

  • Of course, this has always been a thing in the business world. However, Microsoft has made it easier to get in contact with the next rung.
  • "Desperate leadership coach seeks burned out social media managers"

  • Including one from The STD-Free Society.

  • by Baron_Yam ( 643147 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @11:04AM (#64136219)

    If I'm desperate for female companionship and not terribly worried about her motives... using a veneer of subtlety to advertise my income and net worth would probably get me a cute little gold digger who performs Olympic-level feats in the bedroom in fairly short order.

    So basically, most of the women who are looking for men on LinkedIn I would absolutely expect to be a mix of prostitutes (including gold-diggers) and con artists.

    • by killmenow ( 184444 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @11:11AM (#64136235)

      â¦most of the womenâ¦looking for men on LinkedIn I would absolutely expect to be a mix of prostitutes (including gold-diggers) and con artists.

      Soâ¦just like pretty much every other online dating platform.

      • I don't think LinkedIn is there (yet), but with online dating platforms there's a lot of fake accounts too designed to string you along and keep you paying your monthly premium fees. Though I suppose you might lump those in with the 'con artists', I consider it a slightly different category because they're never going to meet up with you and try to bleed you dry more directly.

    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      There are people that claim almost all sex is transactional. They do have a point. Hence prostitutes (of whatever gender) are just more honest than other people.

      • >There are people that claim almost all sex is transactional.

        Those are sad empty people who fail to properly connect with others. And having failed to recognize that the fault lies within and instead looking for a scapegoat, that often that ends up with them being angry red-pill types. That doesn't mean they can't have great sex, but it usually means they're missing out on a lot more in life.

        Sex can be transactional. It can also be a fun activity, work to produce offspring (not the greatest kind of se

        • Those are sad empty people

          Sounds like an Ad Hominem [wikipedia.org] fallacy to me.

          • It's about as much an ad hominem as the statement "blind people are missing out on some valuable sensory input".

            You might not get that if you're one of the blind.

          • by gweihir ( 88907 )

            Indeed. Zero argumentative value, just primitive emotional manipulation. Typically a strong indicator that the converse of the claims is true.

          • Perhaps you should read the link you posted.
            Ad Hominem does not mean what you think it means (which is clearly explained in the wikipedia link).

        • by jbengt ( 874751 )

          Sex can be transactional. It can also be a fun activity, work to produce offspring (not the greatest kind of sex, BTW), or an emotional event that strengthens a relationship bond.

          On the contrary, for me the best sex I've ever had was with my wife when we were trying to conceive.

        • Sex can be transactional. It can also be a fun activity, work to produce offspring (not the greatest kind of sex, BTW), or an emotional event that strengthens a relationship bond. Or all of the above.

          All of those still sound like transactions -- i.e., "i give you sex, you give me a kid", or "i give you sex, you give me a long term emotional bond". It just comes down to framing. It's like that old altruism argument that claims selfless acts don't exist because you're always getting something out of it, eve

      • by MpVpRb ( 1423381 )

        I remember reading an interview with a famous dude in the movie biz. He was asked, why to you pay prostitutes?
        He replied, I can get as many women as I want because of my fame. I don't pay prostitutes for sex, I pay them to go away

        • by gweihir ( 88907 )

          I don't pay prostitutes for sex, I pay them to go away

          Incidentally, that is what a lot of famous published or interviewed prostitutes think as well.

          Women typically use sex with men to create attachment (biological fact, look it up) to have somebody there to help with child-raising when she is limited in what she can do herself. Lasts typically until the child is around 5 years old, at which time the rest of the tribe contributes a lot more and the child needs less specific attention.

          We have today sabotaged that basic process in several ways (with good reasons,

      • ... more honest than other people.

        Maybe but mostly, a demand for material goods makes it easier for men to measure their own success than the usual "love me, save me, hide my fuck-ups" price demanded by "respectable" women.

        To use an allegory: "I don't pay prostitutes for sex, I pay them to go away". This claims that sex is something women must stop and do, while a man is paying to avoid a relationship. It also highlights the reality that "respectable" women don't admit the need for sex (but do admit enjoying sex), even when they have s

        • For a man, an anonymous one night stand runs a small risk of an STD, which is probably curable with a trip to the doctor. More than that, if it's incurable it's probably one that isn't terribly life-altering and he already has from previous encounters anyway.

          For a woman, the risk of catching an STD is higher and more likely to result in more serious consequences. Also, the woman has to worry about pregnancy. And being alone in a secluded location with a strange man who almost certainly could physically o

  • by Rosco P. Coltrane ( 209368 ) on Saturday January 06, 2024 @11:11AM (#64136237)

    The oldest in the world in fact.

    And LinkedIn is for professionals to find a job. So, what's the problem?

    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      None that I can see. Of course the usual pearl-clutchers are shocked that their disconnected fantasies are not true.

    • I kind of dislike that saying. It's NOT the oldest profession.

      You don't prostitute yourself for nothing, you do it in trade. From that it should be obvious that whoever you're trading with has an older profession - probably 'food provider'.

      At best prostitution is the second-oldest profession. And given that it's likely there wasn't a lot of choice involved for the women in our species' early days, I'm not sure it counts even then.

      • by Ksevio ( 865461 )

        It's pretty debatable if it's a profession as well since it doesn't have a professional body or standards, there's no particular training needed for it either

        • The minimum standard is, "do you get paid for a particular skill?"

          Everything - no matter how basic you think it is - has a few things you have to learn before you can do it properly. Even manual labour involves learning how to do things without hurting yourself. Prostitutes do it for a living, they get paid, they're professional sex workers.

          In most places prostitution is not a regulated profession with a protected title, and I'd argue it's still not one even where it is regulated because the regulations a

          • by Ksevio ( 865461 )

            The definition of "Profession" is: "a paid occupation, especially one that involves prolonged training and a formal qualification"

            Prostitution is certainly a job, but profession is stretching it

            • "Especially" means what follows is optional, not mandatory.

              By your quoted definition, it's a profession. A paid occupation.

              • by Ksevio ( 865461 )

                Basically what that means in English is that a profession is a job, but most often when people use the word they mean it has training/qualifications. So while technically you could use it to mean any job is a profession, that would be an uncommon usage of the term

      • Some archaeologists have argued that the oldest profession is the midwife (birthing help) because acquisition of bipedalism means women need help to birth, to be provided by experienced females of the tribe who had the knowledge. Without this profession none of us would be alive; we can date it 3.5-7 million years before present. What other professions existed at the time is a matter of semantics; this happened before the development of the brain and the use of tools. Food provider as you suggest is good co

        • It'd be nice to see a higher frequency of posts like yours on Slashdot. Though I might debate the thesis, it's interesting.

        • The grandpa of the owner of a kind of small but also kind of famous German brewery, once said in a sightseeing through the brewery: the oldest profession is brewing beer. And most of the time in history, the "brewers" where females.

  • using online tools designed for other purposes to snag a date

    Even before online was a thing. Meeting a husband/wife/hookup was often done through professional or other interest groups.

  • People only post on LinkedIn because they want some sort of attention. Usually that's to make a good impression on recruiters but I guess the bait works on potential mates as well, especially useful as you can see their photo and know they're unlikely to be unemployed crackheads
  • You mean all those Asian women with hot profile pictures randomly contacting you with a mostly empty profile other than "aspiring model", "hair designer", or "college student" saying "I love knowing older men with balding hair, a beer belly, and a national security related occupation" actually are real??! Hot dam, maybe even John Bolton and dead Kissinger can get lucky there, too!

  • From EasyTechSlut025:

    Woman who enjoys dual-keyboarding seeks multiple programmers for code-review of my black-box functions: Must perform prolonged walkthroughs, must wear gloves.

  • I guarantee it's mostly men preying on women job seekers. Considering the "jobyness" purpose of this platform, I can see a trend of reporting idiots using linked in as a dating "hack" to HR... It's just inevitable people using this for dating will use their leverage not to hire or reference people that turn down the unwanted advances...
  • I might use it if I'm looking for a job but otherwise I forget it even exists. Last time I checked it I had messages from about 1 yr ago I never read.

  • A friend/colleague of mine once shared the story that he was contacted by a woman on LinkedIn. She started with "I know LinkedIn is not a dating site...." and then a long conversation. There was only one problem, he is gay. :)

    Now he gets spammed with connection requests from some pretty face with bad English job titles "Senior CEO" and only a few connections.

    When reported, LinkedIn 'investigates' but as this person has a premium account LinkedIn finds they are doing nothing wrong. And the scammers keep comi

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