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Technology

Wearable Computers 80

ucribido writes "Here is an interesting story regarding wearable computers and other communication accessories utilizing technology developed by Martin Cooper, who is regarded as the "father" of the portable cell phone. The fashion show was sponsored by Charmed Technology which is a spin off of MIT's Media Lab. Check out the hot "geek" chics sporting the latest in info-gagetry. Apparently, the CEO of charmed regards his company as the answer to Bill Joy's warning that technology will soon wipe out mankind if not kept in check. Find out for yourself."
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Wearable Computers

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  • then you'll have to have a thing on oprah. 1 gigahertz accessories for 486 prices. And of course, there'll be some cross dressers out in california who wear windows, mac ANDlinux. The freaks. It'll lead to a whole new world of fashion faux pas. "excuse me sir, but your source is open" Dang it. I really have to go but my zipper just locked up... Of course, the company best positioned to take advantage of this whole trend is Red Hat...

  • Maybe the first versions will be bought and used by geeks, but in the long run, I think stuff like this will appeal way more to non-geeks. These toys will never give you the control, view and flexibility of a big gray box, but lots of people don't care about that, but these people are most likely not geeks...

    Then again, I can't wait to go around looking like this [charmed.com] :)

  • If they remove a significant amount of general-purpose code that isn't need on their platform, I could see the argument for calling it a separate OS. Personally, I would make the distinction on one of three conditions:

    1. An actual code fork
    2. Introduction of some incompatibility that would break existing apps
    3. Porting to a significantly different architecture that can't run existing distros


    The third is the weakest argument for calling it a different OS, but it is probably the one that applies. As long as they don't violate the GPL, I don't have a problem with them make the marketting decision of OS vs. distro whichever way makes them happy.
  • In the wake of commercialisation of the emerging wearable computers industry, it's nice to know that there are projects out there working on designing wearable computing systems that won't lock you into using proprietary software.

    One project that comes to my mind is the School of Computer Science and Engineering [unsw.edu.au] at the University of New South Wales's [unsw.edu.au] 'Pleb' project [unsw.edu.au]. About the length of two Australian fifty cent coins lined up next to each other, it contains a StrongARM [intel.com] processor and can use a number of different kernels and OSes, but most importantly Linux. I was recently lucky enough to see a demonstration of the system where a stripped down version of Debian GNU/Linux being booted off it at the university's last open day.

    The main goal of Pleb is produce a "Flexible, Low-Power system for use in Portable and Embedded applications which is capable of a high level of processing power." However, more impressive is that the project's guidelines even states:

    "Where possible GNU tools should be used as much as possible since both the multi-platform availability and the GPL licensing insure accessibility to all interested parties. Software requiring tools which are prohibitive to most developers (through pricing or lack of platform support) is discouraged"

    Pleb's different foundation does much to boost this project's credibility as a viable competitor to Charmed. Charmed appears to be more focused on becoming the next easy-to-use consumer toy for those on the richer side of the digital divide. Pleb on the other hand has the potential to become a more widely supported and of course, open-source wearable computing platform, and hopefully if it does become a commercial enterprise be much more affordable for people in all societies.

    MashPotato - Mobile Array of Support Helpers for Potato

  • Not to mention the bad grammer, lack of punctuation and just general crappiness of flash. Sigh.
  • by Protocull ( 187587 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @05:09AM (#757016)
    Imagine a cool computer that strapped comfortably to your wrist that you looked at to tell where the sun was in the sky... you could call it a watch. Imagine an incredible device that could be implanted directly into your heart to regulate its beating... you could call it a pacemaker. Imagine a wafer thin piece of plastic that you place *directly* on your eye and which renders your vision robot-accurate... you could call it a contact lens. Imagine a highly sensitive yet covert listening device you could wear all the time... maybe call it a hearing aid? We're all cyborgs, and have been for some time now. What's all the fuss about?
  • Check out some recent sections in the Fashion sections of the New York Times, Vanity Fair, etc.

    Basically, we need pocketses and places for our doodads, especially in ways that we can show off.

    It was inevitable.

  • Why shouldn't it? Perhaps if technology were to remove the human "middle-man", something might actually get done around here. Besides, my workstations and servers have never asked for a couple weeks off to go snowboarding.
  • I think I dated the Geek Chic on the cover of their webpage... oh, no wait... now I remember... she laughed in my face before hopping into her Porsche and taking off.
  • Yeah....I bet you are.
  • The thing that scares me is how a while ago in Taos new mexico lots of people were hearing a noise that wasn't detectable by an occiliscope.

    For a while this was attributed to the ELF submarine communication station in the area, but I think they ruled that out. A decent but out of date article on this topic can be found here [earthpulse.com] if you're interested.
  • Why the hell would you want to wear a computer?
  • decaym wrote:
    ...and a small implant inside the ear cannal for sound....

    Symphonix [symphonix.com] recently received FDA approval for their Vibrant Soundbridge [symphonix.com] ear implant. It has better sound than a hearing-aid and is less visible.

    from the site:


    The Vibrant Soundbridge is a medical prosthesis--not a hearing aid. Hearing aids take sounds and make them louder. The Soundbridge takes sound and converts it to mechanical vibrations inside the middle ear. Because the Soundbridge does not sit in the ear canal, many problems associated with conventional hearing aids, such as soreness and feedback are potentially avoided. Also, the Soundbridge can be worn under most hair styles making it possible for the system to be hidden from casual observers.


    And here's highlights from a recent report from The Gray Sheet:
    Results from the Phase III trial, conducted at 10 U.S. sites, demonstrated significant improvements in both hearing level compared to conventional acoustic hearing aids, and in degree of patient satisfaction.


    Data derived from 54 individuals showed that 86% of Soundbridge implant patients expressed satisfaction in improved sound quality and clarity versus 31% of those fitted with a hearing aid....

    ...In addition, labeling states that "a majority (86%, or 42/49) of patients reported significantly improved sound clarity and overall sound quality" with the Soundbridge, compared to their own hearing aids.

    Labeling also notes that the Soundbridge "significantly" reduced acoustic feedback and improved patients' perceived benefit in many listening situations, such as familiar talkers, ease of communication, reverberation, reduced cues, background noise, aversiveness of sound and distortion of sound, compared to conventional hearing aids....

    ...Launched immediately following approval, the devices are being marketed in the U.S. by Symphonix' six sales reps and six clinical sales specialists. Promotional activities will initially target otologists who have experience implanting the devices.

    A next-generation, totally implantable device is under development, the San Jose, California firm reports. In addition, product enhancements to the semi-implantable audioprocessor are also being researched. A PMA supplement could be filed early next year, according to the firm....
  • Any chance we might see this? You know, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down?". Does anyone know of a kit that will put a rounded "Weeble" bottom on your computer? I keep knocking mine over and this would be a great help.
  • you have to be kidding, right?--you do know what you are talking about?--that's right I didn't think you did!--the kernel is the operating system!--put just the kernel on a disk, and it boots, and takes care of all that important operating system stuff--redhat is a set of tools that is being provided to you preconfigured, with the operating sytem!
  • ...as long aa I don't have to hack my girlfriend's pants... "oooh baby... ooh yeahh..... NOOOOOO!!! 128-bit encyption!!!!!"
  • Hmm. I can imagine.

    "I've been trying to get into this girl's pants all night"

    " Don't bother. She's closed source. "

    ... and for those people obsessed with making xerox copies of their butt using the company copier, we have these special shorts. Fax machine already installed. Linux. Bringing the world to your drawers.



  • by OlympicSponsor ( 236309 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @03:18AM (#757028)
    "I couldn't negotiate a socks connection."
    --
  • Steve Mann is the father of Wearable computing.
    www.wearcomp.org for those of you that don't already know this.

  • Crawl out of the geek box for a minute and look at it from other's perspective. Sex sells. Fashion sells.
    I dunno about you, but even more than that, cool toys sell. Take for example MP3 players. While they are designed to look sleek and fashionable, I would think most people buy it because it's a cool little gadget. The same can be said for palm pilots and visors. They are sexy because they look cool and do cool geeky things (I dunno, I definitely find the ice colored visor deluxe sexy). I think there can be intrinsic "sex appeal" to the device itself, not necessarily just because the model is hot.
    Do you think people buy the latest StarTac or Samsung flip phone because they work better? No, they buy them because they are cool and sexy.
    Tech gadgets are cool and sexy because they work better. What makes the one PDA more cool or more sexy than another? Features. It's more than just how it looks (although that is a factor). How many people do you know that bought a device based purly on looks? It has to be a reliable product too.
  • Wearable computer "fashion" is all well and good, but none of it matters till LCD glasses (or some other wearable monitor) can provide 1024 x 768 resolution (preferably with 24 bit color minimum). Without that, a wearable computer is little more than a games platform or a PDA - nifty tech, but not really usable as a full-out desktop replacement.
  • Yeah, I'm sure Bill Gates is working on it.

    New windows 2019 is even more user friendly. You've heard of web TV. This handy device relieves the hassle of constantly bickering over programs by forcing you to watch the shows that we want you to.

    See that handy red button on the arm rest? every time that you press it, a worker in the DOJ will feel a sharp and intense pain!
    Buy now!





  • This whole 'fashion' thing with wearable computers, etc... Is just too damn funny.

    Who, in their right mind, would wear this crap? If any of this comes to pass; I'll have a few good decades of laughing my ass off.

    On the other hand, I'm appalled that Slashdot even covered this story.
  • Among other cool gadgets over at ibutton.com [ibutton.com], they have Java VMs built into rings, watches, keychains and other accessories. They're not unbearably expensive, surprizingly($100 in most cases). Cool stuff.

    "// this is the most hacked, evil, bastardized thing I've ever seen. kjb"

  • Troll? Expand your moderation horizons. Explore the delights of "Funny" and "Insightful".
  • IMHO, people buy small cell phones because they're easier to carry around with you. It's becoming practical/comfortable to carry the really small phones in your pocket.
    --
  • I know we all like to hide ourselves away in a little defensive world where beautiful women are, to make up for it, dumb as a brick. Unfortunately I will have to punch a hole in your shielding; many top-models have IQs that are probably higher than your own, just like any typical cross-section of humanity. There's nothing in the "beauty" genes that precludes having some "smart" genes too. No doubt a fair-share of those women really are dumber than bricks, but plenty could probably beat you hands down in any intellectual contest you'd care to name. I'm sorry you've never met any attractive geek chics, but maybe they were just avoiding you...
  • Actually when a computer fades into the functionality of the appliance, we call it a microprocessor or a microcontroller, depending on the context. Sure, the integrated cell-phone, MP3 player, or whatever shouldn't be called computers. But if it gets to run an OS and lets you install custom software, and has userdefined functionality, then it had better be a computer...
  • Yeah, and if geeks dont wash (I`ve read Hackers!), isnt the sweat etc going to screw things up pretty badly?
  • Steve Mann is a one-trick pony.

    I am amazed that a person can become a media pundit by deciding early in life to strap a computer to himself. (Note: I did my undergrad engineering degree in the same class as Steve, and am well acquainted with exactly how much talent Steve does or doesn't have...)
  • My thoughts exactly! There are "Enhances the browsing experience" Flash sites and "So unbearably fills up your site with pointless animation that most users run away in frustration" Flash sites. The one fell into the latter category. It's too bad, 'cuz with just a few changes (like a "Skip intro" link) this could have been a decent site.

    Hope their clothes are a little more practical than their site.

  • on being the first site to stand up to being slashdotted. That and being able to squeeze a ton of stuff into a small flash file, that actually works in Flash for Linux.
  • The same old "Internet appliance" hype. Everyone already knows this, but... Palm is a success because, as people say, while it does fewer things, it does them very well. That is, it's not needlessly complicated by other "capabilities," which undermine its dependability. All the "visionaries" are trying to sell us on the idea that Internet appliances will do the same. In some cases, I agree... but in others, an Internet connection in itself will needlessly complicate the appliance. The last time I checked, my refrigerator does what it does very well, without needing a net connection (obviously to call the repair man when it's low on freon, which'll cost me $169.00 --> a decision I'd rather make myself)!
  • Have you ever tried a head-mounted display?

    I mean one of the latest: lightweight, small form factor (like glasses), but high res, wide field of view, stereoscopic, head tracking, see through capability?

    I can guarantee you that there are some pretty mind blowing things you can do with such a HMD... Things as unimaginable as common people back in the 1970s would have thought mice and GUIs were.

    When you have a display that is that lightweight and portable, and you're wearing it (AND it can do incredible things that no monitor can), it's just natural that you'd want the computer to be wearable along with it.

    You'll see. Someday when it bites you in the arse.

    Slashdot needs to run stories like this... at least they can look past Charmed's fluff.
  • >from the does-this-monitor-go-with-these-shoes? dept.
    Your digest-mode humor sits very well with me today.
  • This is true, just as Einstin was a one trick pony.

    the coolest part is that he did this computer research while persuing what he is also great at, photography.

    I dont know of many people that can do so much with what they have. Steve gave Thad his start in wearable computing, and it all snowballs from there.

    he deserves his credit, just as the man that developed tcp/ip deserves to be called the inventor of the internet.
  • At least it uses Linux . . . . . maybe they figured M$ Windows is no longer in fashion!
  • "Have you ever tried a head-mounted display?"

    Yes, and I was quite impressed, until I asked why the resolution was on 800 x 600. Since then, I've been waiting for one to come out on a consumer price level that's really high-res, 1024 x 768. I'm still waiting.

  • So we're one step closer to actually having the gargoyles from Snow Crash? Cool. I always wanted to have a full computer on me at all times, if for no other reason than to be able to bill more hours for work :)

    --trb

  • by truffle ( 37924 )
    Finally I will be fashionable!
    Truffle
  • by NecroPuppy ( 222648 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @02:44AM (#757051) Homepage
    I can imagine the new excuses that come with computer clothes....

    "Sorry I'm late, someone hacked my pants."
    "I would have finished the presentation, but my accessories weren't compatable."

    and of course,
    "Damn, another Blue Boxers of Death!"

    NecroPuppy
    ---
    Blame it on Monday, that's what I do.
  • The technology should be sooo sexy that it'd sell even if _I_ were wearing it. If it's really good technology, then it doesn't matter what it's draped across.

    But, geez, pulsating lights that give off perfume? No thanks. And just how the heck does making it look neato take care of the privacy concerns? "No, no, the mauve color alone indicates privacy guard. It's the lavender you have to watch out for."
  • It talks about:

    the brave new unwired world

    Shouldn't that be

    the brave new underwired world?

  • When I can buy one from Armani, then, and only then, will wearable info-gadgets have come of age !

    The London Weatherman,
    20C, Cloudy, Sunny Spells
  • http://wearcam.org/ this guy has been working on this for over 20 years. you can see the evolution of his gear. pretty funny! (back in the 70s-80s)
  • Sigh. I guess this is another informal check of who doesn't pay a measly $12/year for Wired magazine. Once again we get a 3-month-old story posted as new...

  • This is fashion hype of the worst kind. A patent pending on a fashion show. Give me a flying fscking break.

    The shit doesn't belong on /.

  • Imagine 20 years from now when rather than having the computer on you, it will be in you. If direct machine-mind interfaces aren't working by then, you can look forward to a thin mask on the inside of the eye for a display, and a small implant inside the ear cannal for sound.

    That guy on the corner mumbling to himself isn't really crazy, he's just talking to his accountant.

  • My pants just suffered a GPF!
  • by peter303 ( 12292 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @03:45AM (#757060)
    Calling it a "computer" means it has been designed poorly. When made correctly, the computer disappears into the functionality of the appliance. Then we call it a notepad, refrigerator, car, communications-jacket, etc.

  • You all do realize that not a single one of those fasion whores has a clue what it is they are realy wearing, let alone how to use it. Unfortunate as it is most geek chicks aren't that attractive. Ive know only 3 or 4. One was a phone phreak/modle that I met at the first PumpCon, the other some of you may know as she hung out in #2600-efnet. And though all those girls may be hott, I doubt I would be able to stand them if they couldn't hold a decent conversation with me. You can buy sex, you cant buy inteligence.

    IceBerg
  • Gives a new twist to "brute force" cracking.

    And of course if you're catholic, "loggin in as root" suddenly becomes a sin.

  • Did you check out their flash presentation? Please, tell me this is a joke. What is it, the latest in SolarBabies [imdb.com] fashion? It looks like a bad 80's movie.

    :wq!

  • The most technical data I could find were:
    1) It uses Linux
    2) "Desktop Backgrounds For Download"

    How exciting !!!
    I think my mother would like this better than me.
  • Why on the inside of the eye?

    If you had an eyepiece that manipulated the light rays correctly, adjusting to where your pupil was looking and how it was focusing you could have a fully functional 3d world. (much like they had in Snow Crash). Kindof like those optical illusion toys that they have where you put a penny between two curved mirrors and it projects a 3d image of the penny above the device.



  • Yes, and I'm not buying a computer until they're made by yamaha

  • The CEO/founder of Charmed is the woman on the web page. Technically, she is not a "he" and it is not "his", and she did industrial espionage before founding Charmed.

    Don't flame me for saying this either. I just happen to have read an interview with her in some mag or another that I no longer have lying around (probably Fortune), and thought that disseminating information was the point of this site.

    Matt Gozo
  • Do you really think they care about the /. audience for this stuff? They are looking mass-market. The real money is in selling it to frat boys with trust funds, mall rats, and yuppies. To sell to these people, you need Britney, N'Sync and Seventeen magazine to sell to these people.

    Face it, if these things are hackable, geeks would buy them if Janet Reno was modelling them and they came only in grey plastic.


    --

  • How many people do you know that bought a device based purly on looks?

    I tend to spend my OWN money on things like amplifiers, new sets of strings, recording gear, incense & pot, but of the people I know who *DID* go out and buy a cellphone, I'd have to say that if looks weren't the #1 criteria in their decision, it was at least #2.

    I don't own a cell or a pager myself. If you are someone I'd want getting ahold of me, you already know my home & work numbers. If I'm not at one of those places, I'm either hanging out with you, or you aren't one of those people.


    -The Reverend
  • That guy on the corner mumbling to himself isn't really crazy, he's just talking to his accountant.

    Naaah... probably his therapist... ;-)
  • by Lion-O ( 81320 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @02:54AM (#757071)
    ``We want people to have the choice to accessorize themselves with technology,'' Charmed Technology co-founder Katrina Barillova told Reuters.
    ``People are afraid technology will turn them into cyborgs and make them lose their privacy and humanity. But the way to prevent the cyborg thing is to make it fashionable,'' she said.

    Is this woman blond by any change? I don't think people are afraid to look like The Borg(tm). In fact, I think they are, like myself, afraid to get involved in a nasty accident. Looking with one eye can be very unhandy in traffic. Using the other eye for playing UT can be very distractive. And the result can be very messy. (hmm, on the other hand... live UT effects....).

  • Crawl out of the geek box for a minute and look at it from other's perspective. Sex sells. Fashion sells. Do you think people buy the latest StarTac or Samsung flip phone because they work better? No, they buy them because they are cool and sexy. Kind of a reverse size envy scenario.

    As it is, most of the wearable technology is still too bulky to be acceptable in the mainstream. Until it's so small as to not be noticeable, only the geekest of the chic will be wearing it.

  • I don't think that these models are geeks. The first one was all trendy looking. I bet these chicks date jocks in the real world, and think that warable PC's suck, but took the job for the $$$. I wouldn't mind waring one though (the computers).
  • Could the flash on their website be ANY worse? It takes over 3 minutes to just navigate past the intro! Jeez.
  • Might as well put this link in there! :-) Wearcomp [slashdot.org]
  • by Froid ( 235187 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @04:06AM (#757077)
    Twenty years ago, if you'd thought to complain about potential side-effects of using a cellular phone, you would've been laughed out of the scientific community. Even today, large segments of the population will laugh at you (perhaps even correctly), but several studies have shown that there is a controversy left to be resolved.

    Are we so sure, then, of all the potential side-effects of society-wide deployments of wearables? You might point to the amount of shielding around standard electronics (as compared to a broadcasting antenna), but is that adequate for the protection of human tissue and not just other electronics? Do we really want to find out?

    One thing is clear: more CDC and NIH studies must be performed, lest this exciting and important field of computing suffer the same fate as DuPont's silicone breast implants, where the social benefit was arguably smaller (+1 funny for anyone who responds, "But breast implants really improved my social life).

    (Thankfully, I don't fear that studies won't be conducted. As we all know, the test is whether the device has anything to do with gonads (as where wearables may be strapped in proximity to). Congress collectively cringes at the thought, and funding quickly follows.)
  • by dsplat ( 73054 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @03:00AM (#757078)
    Go directly to their page on Nanix [charmed.com] and read, among other things:

    NANIX will become the standard operating system for these types of Internet connected devices." NANIX is a Linux-based operating system distribution optimized for small wireless Internet devices. Support will be included for power management, wireless connectivity (802.11, IRDA, Bluetooth), and non-conventional input/output such as handheld keyboards, voice-recognition, head mounted displays, and palm-sized LCD monitors. Support will also be provided for cameras, Global Positioning System (GPS) receivers, MP3 music files, and broadband streaming audio/video. NANIX can be configured to function on a variety of systems ranging from laptops to small embedded computing devices.


    If they play nice, this could provide some good support for small hardware. I would certainly like to be able to build some personal applications for handheld and wearable devices. I know that I perfer to be able to program any hardware I buy rather than just using the canned software that came with it. I don't always take advantage of that option, but it is a selling point to me.
  • for women to come up to me and say "Do you need a heatsink, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • just go to a tech temp agency and you can buy all the intellegence ( or at least tech know how) that you can afford at $50 an hour.

    ...Just as long as you aren't looking to have sex with the temps or anything, of course.



  • When I was in High school they wouldn't let the teachers use a cathode ray tube because of the EM radiation, despite the fact that every day most of the kids went home and watched TVs filled with cathode ray tubes. There have been a lot of tests that have shown that non-ionizing radiation (photons from soft ultraviolet on down) has to literally be powerfull enough to cook tissue in order to cause damage.

    The thing that scares me is how a while ago in Taos new mexico lots of people were hearing a noise that wasn't detectable by an occiliscope.

    I don't think it was ever figured out just what was going on, but it was hypothesized that some form of radiaiton was acting directly on people's brains. I'm not sure if there's any evidence that all this electrical noise can't interfere with mental processes.

    I do think it was interesting that when they send astronauts up in the shuttle, the electrical equipment operates on the same frequency as earth's 'natural heartbeat.' I can't remember the exact frequency, but the planet has a natural frequency and they figured they ought to keep it just in case our bodies were used to it.

    If anyone can find any hard evidence that our bodies are better off exposed to this frequency, I'd be glad to hear about it.

    Wiserd@angelfire.com



  • by jandrese ( 485 ) <kensama@vt.edu> on Monday September 25, 2000 @04:25AM (#757082) Homepage Journal
    This article has some of the most memorable lines I've heard in quite a while:

    The fashion show came after a stark warning from one of the leading architects of the Silicon Valley computer revolution that technology was developing so rapidly and with so few checks that it could eventually wipe out humans.
    When evil computers come to destroy humanity, who can save us? The army with their flaccid spears? no! The famed pocket protector wearing geeks? no! Fashion? Yes!!!

    Inspiration for Tillotson's merging of the science of smell with nanotechnology and fashion came from the coolant systems built into the space suits worn by astronauts on the Apollo space missions in the 1960s, she said.
    Man, I guess the 60s are going back in fashion.

    ``People are afraid technology will turn them into cyborgs and make them lose their privacy and humanity. But the way to prevent the cyborg thing is to make it fashionable,'' she said.
    How do we prevent technology from making people lose their privacy and humaity? Fashion! After all, nobody can spy on you if you look just so chic.

    Warning: Sarcasm limit exceeded, automatic -10 karma.
  • Ahh, ya probably complained that Bill Cosby wasn't a real doctor. ;p

  • How useable the thing is is part of how "good" the technology is perceived as being. Linux wasn't taken that seriously until it had a GUI. Now that there's slick graphical widgets, folks are loving it. (I'm even seeing Linux versions of office software in mainstream stores like Best Buy.)

    It's also part of the cool factor. When they stopped making VHS VCRs look like Soviet Space Program cast-offs, sales went up. When mobile phones got small enough to be, well, mobile, sales went up. Sexy, to me, doesn't have anything to do with sex.

    In my lexicon, sexy is how well implimented the whole thing is. How much an integral part of my life will this product be? Flashing lights? Baah! Perfume spewing computers? Baah. Pager sized, hey, that's a start. 20 hour battery life? Good start. A visual display that looks like /normal/ sunglasses? Better yet. Shock resistant, splash-resistant? Yes.

    It should all be so sexy, so cool, that I can walk into a meeting of 50-something, golf-playing, cigarette-stale-breath MBAs, and they'll all say, "Wow. Where can I buy one?"
  • Linux is just a kernel redhat is an operating system and the same goes for nanix.
  • Arrgggh!!! Wearcomp [wearcomp.org] this time it works...;-)
  • the slashdot bunch

    cute-teen-natalie is walking through the yard, carrying her school-books. teen-osm and six-year-old-osm are playing catch with a football. 6-year-old-osm misses the ball and it heads for cute-teen-natalie.

    teen-osm: cute-teen-natalie, look out!

    it is too late, the ball hits cute-teen-natalie in the head, knocking her hair loose, such that it flows elegantly down her back. she begins to weep and runs inside, the boys follow.

    cute-teen-natalie: mom! mom! oh, this is awful!

    hemos: what is it dear?

    cute-teen-natalie: the football hit me on the side of the head. it knocked my hair loose so that it flows elegantly down my back! i am now even more beautiful! this is awful!

    female-signal 11 and male-signal 11 enter the kitchen.

    female-signal 11: mom!

    hemos: what is it, signal 11?

    male-signal 11: we are tired of being the middle child! we are tired of having to play with ourself in the basement!

    hemos: signal 11, i told you not to play with yourself! that is why you are in the basement in the first place! six-year-old-natalie, come in here!

    six-year-old-natalie joins the others in the kitchen.

    six-year-old-natalie: yes, mother?

    hemos: now, you, six-year-old-osm, cute-teen-natalie and teen-osm have been very mean to signal 11. i want you and six-year-old-osm to go to your room until supper. the same goes for cute-teen-natalie and teen-osm.

    six-year-old-natalie: oh, six-year-old-osm, finally we may explore each other in our childlike innocence! how my undeveloped breasts and unfattened buttocks have yearned for your boyish hand!

    six-year-old-osm: hooray!

    the six-year-olds hold hands as they skip off to their room.

    cute-teen-natalie: teen-osm! we may finally consumate our teen curiosities! how my pouting teen breasts tingle under my bodice! how my rump quivers in anticipation!

    teen-osm: by my open-source hand shall you take the next step to womanhood!

    cute-teen-natalie & teen-osm: hooray!

    teen-osm throws cute-teen-natalie over his shoulder and carries her to their room.

    male & female signal 11 turn to leave through the patio door.

    hemos: where are you going signal 11?

    male-signal 11: nobody appreciates us here. we are going to run away and gain feelings of acceptance by bribing slashdot moderators with cheap crack to give us karma.

    hemos: hooray!

    cmdrtaco enters the front door, carrying a brief-case.

    cmdrtaco: hi, honey! i'm home!

    hemos: oh, cmdrtaco! let us retire to the bedroom and frolick like the playful imps we are! all day, i have been dreaming of commanding your taco into my throbbing rectum.

    as hemos and cmdrtaco walk to the bedroom holding hands, rms enters the kitchen. he removes several pans filled with meat from the oven.

    rms: hey! doesn't anyone want a piece of this gnu?! well, i guess i'll have to eat it myself. shoot, just when i was trying to lose some weight.

    laugh track, applause.

  • by HEbGb ( 6544 ) on Monday September 25, 2000 @03:07AM (#757088)
    From their website [charmed.com] :

    Tillotson joined Charmed Technology in February 2000 as a sensory designer. Her focus is the introduction of smell technology to wearable computing and digital fashion. Jenny is responsible for setting up the London Sensory Design Lab(TM). ...

    Through the addition of smell technology and pheromones to the world of fashion design, clothing and accessories, Jenny is creating a whole new 'multi-sensorial' environment.


    Sorry, honey, all of the clothing I own is already saturated with my own patented HebGb(TM) pheremone blend. Most of my geek friends have gone far beyond, carefully refining their UltraStink(TM) and MegaStink(TM) bioengineered pheremone capsules, which are now strong enough to elicit responses from over 10m away (depending on prevailing winds), as well as strip paint.
  • If NANIX is a Linux-based OS, wouldn't that really just make NANIX just a distribution and not a different OS?
  • Could also give new meaning the chastity belt...

How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb? "Well the diagnostics say it's fine buddy, so it's a software problem."

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