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Technology

Vintage Toys & Tech Photos 156

savetz writes "Here's a fun site: Consumer Reports magazine's vintage photo gallery, in which you can see photos from when the magazine reviewed electric toasters in 1956, in-car record players in 1961, radio sunglasses in 1966, and other good stuff. Don't forget about the flaming Nerf ball."
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Vintage Toys & Tech Photos

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  • just me? (Score:5, Funny)

    by trans_err ( 606306 ) <ebenoist@NOsPaM.gmail.com> on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:07AM (#4831284) Homepage
    is this just me or do all these new products seem a bit dated?
    • its just you. I still use my toaster as a mainframe computer every.
    • Re:just me? (Score:3, Funny)

      by Lshmael ( 603746 )
      Last time I looked, NERF products were still in production...
      • Re:just me? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by coryboehne ( 244614 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @02:28AM (#4831523)
        To hell with the nerf products, I need one of these [consumerreports.org]..

        Sonic Blaster, 1966

        The Mattel Agent Zero M Sonic Blaster 5530 fires compressed air with a deafening blast. Our measurements top out at 157 dB-above a level that can do permanent damage to the hearing of an adult. We rate the toy Not Acceptable.

        W00T!
        • Does it come with the 10 year old Bill Gates pictured?
        • I still have mine, because (thankfully!) my parents didn't return it during the recall. It's a big hit with the neighborhood kids when I haul it out, and it's great for scaring the starlings off of the bird feeder.

          It's still just as loud now as it was when new... what I can hear of it through the tinnitus that's plagued me since 1966.
    • Don't Buy Crap. (Score:5, Interesting)

      by BigBlockMopar ( 191202 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @02:05AM (#4831466) Homepage

      I love it. My 1954 Maytag A-504 washing machine. It's been cleaning dirty underwear for 48 years, and all it's ever asked for is a drivebelt.

      Carrying on the tradition:

      • 1954 Ferrograph tape recorder
      • 1967 Maytag dryer
      • 1970 Maytag WU-600 dishwasher
      • 1970 Ariens snowblower
      • 1970 Dodge Dart
      • 1974 Plymouth Valiant Brougham
      • 1976 Dodge Ram (D-350)
      • 1972? Sound A-5000 amplifier
      • 1973 Acoustic Research AR-4x speakers
      • 1964 Pickett N3T sliderule

      The moral?

      If you buy good quality stuff once, it will last you your lifetime. And just because something may be old (ie, most of this stuff is older than I am), it doesn't make it irrelevent. What does a new dishwasher do that my old Maytag won't? Nothing. And the old Maytag looks really cool installed in a modern kitchen!

      So, when my washing machine's 48-year-old rubber belt finally broke, I went to the local Maytag store and bought a new belt at the parts counter. Spent $10 on the belt, then the manager came running out after me. He rented my washing machine from me - paid me good money, provided me with a new washer while mine was there, and tried to buy it outright - so that he could stick it in the showroom that fall.

      Unfortunately, you can only try so long to continue to use your desktop computer...

      • Re:Don't Buy Crap. (Score:5, Insightful)

        by coryboehne ( 244614 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @02:21AM (#4831504)
        Unfortunately, you can only try so long to continue to use your desktop computer...

        Actually, I have started collecting key pieces of computer history (and I know a few other /.'s are doing the same) and I really believe that most of these systems are still quite capable of doing what they were meant to do, namely business software... No you can't play quake on a TRS-80 but it does a great job of running DOS and business applications.

        The problem is that most people think computers are a dated item, the fact is, people once thought that a 1956 Convertible was worthless junk, now a rusted shell of a car will bring 10k. Keep this in mind before you dismiss their possible future value (particularly look for the ones that people consider to be particularly worthless as there will be far fewer of these available in future and they will most likely be the more valuable among the systems that are available for almost nothing today)
        • I agree...computers are not a dated item...software is dated...post-dated...destined to fail in the future.
        • Re:Don't Buy Crap. (Score:4, Interesting)

          by Megane ( 129182 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @09:23AM (#4832286)
          The problem is that most people think computers are a dated item

          Most are. Most PC software can still run under the DOS window of 2K/XP, except for those games that don't have any speed control and were responsible for the "TURBO" buttons on a lot of XT and AT class machines. And they have better hardware. Most XT through 486 systems have zero collectible value, and aren't usually worth the trouble to set up, unless they're already running and doing duty as a word processor or something. But they've got no soul.

          I know someone who long ago set up a forms generation system for his practice, using Wordstar and its Mailmerge. I'm just as amazed now as I was then that he could make that work. He's gone through about four or five PCs since that original Sanyo 550, and even more printers, and that vintage software still kicks ass for him. But he doesn't go out of his way to run it on a 286.

          Most of those old PC clones have no style whatsoever. All of the old 8-bitters they killed off had some kind of interesting design and didn't look like a nondescript beige box. The original TRS-80 design with the computer built into the keyboard unit was brilliant... at least until they needed to add floppy disks. The Commodore PET had that '70s retro-futuristic look, and the VIC-20 and C-64 went with the original TRS-80 look because they figured out how to make an expansion cable bus, even if it was dog slow.

          Only Apple has kept the faith by constantly trying to come up with interesting designs. Sure, they've have their share of beige boxes along the way, but even some of those have made a point of looking different, like the Mac II series, and the current "flip-out" cases. And they've had their beige-box stinkers too, like the 8100, where you have to pull out the motherboard (which means all the cards too) to add RAM.

          • Most are. Most PC software can still run under the DOS window of 2K/XP, except for those games that don't have any speed control and were responsible for the "TURBO" buttons on a lot of XT and AT class machines. And they have better hardware. Most XT through 486 systems have zero collectible value, and aren't usually worth the trouble to set up, unless they're already running and doing duty as a word processor or something. But they've got no soul.

            I have a 133MHz AMD 5x86 (basically a faster 486) with 32MB of RAM. For a good eight years it ran OS/2 and functioned as an in-house news server. In that incarnation, it easily got uptimes in the 30-50 day range. It now runs NetBSD 1.5.2 and functions as an in-house DNS/DHCP/NIS/SMTP/IMAP server and easily gets 60+ day uptimes. Just because it's old doesn't mean it's less reliable.

            I find it's just the opposite, in fact. This machine is using the original processor, the original memory, and the original power supply. Nothing except the hard drive (a WD Caviar *yuck*) has been replaced since it was bought in 1993. How long do you think these new AMD XP 2800+ or Pentium 4 3GHz that throw out heat like an acetylene torch are going to last?

          • I thought the TURBO button was for Lotus 123 Rel 1A and it's lovely copy protection!

        • Actually, I have started collecting key pieces of computer history (and I know a few other /.'s are doing the same) and I really believe that most of these systems are still quite capable of doing what they were meant to do, namely business software... No you can't play quake on a TRS-80 but it does a great job of running DOS and business applications.

          Yeah. They still work as well as they did the day that they were new; unfortunately, our expectations of their abilities have changed too much.

          I still have my own little computer museum, just like I collect 1950s TV sets. But since you come to expect certain things (a hard drive, bitmapped graphics, color, maybe a remote control), they're not really practical for daily use.

          That doesn't make them any less a testament to their time or to their construction, it's just that, for the most part, they haven't achieved a vintage status by surviving a daily workload for x number of years.

      • Uh. Why didn't you sell it to him? Some kind of emotional attachment?
      • I have this odd feeling this will get me modded down even though it's not as a lame joke....but theres a perfectly easy way to make your old computer last, beowulf it with other old computers and it'll last at least a little longer
      • Re:Don't Buy Crap. (Score:3, Informative)

        by geekoid ( 135745 )
        "What does a new dishwasher do that my old Maytag won't"

        built in garbage disposal.
        enerygy savings
        quiter.

        • enerygy savings


          True but I'm quite sceptical that the savings in energy really can compensate for the energy required to produce a new machine.


        • built in garbage disposal. enerygy savings quiter.

          Horrified dinner guests sitting around in the kitchen as I'm tossing stuff into the faithful old Maytag:

          "You can't put that roasting pan in there! There's still a chunk of bone stuck in there!"

          I tossed it in, filled the detergent cup full of Cascade or Electrasol - whichever is cheaper of two "premium" detergents, because they both clean damned well - closed the door and hit the "Pots and Pans" button.

          The dishwasher filled, the 3/4 hp pump motor started up, and a few seconds later there was a familiar grinding sound. I let the cycle run to the end, and took out the roasting pan: clean. They were impressed.

          I think it has a built-in garbage disposal. I have to be very careful to make sure that the cutlery stays where it's supposed to. Try to wash a margarine tub without securing it properly to the racks, and it's gone.

          "Energy saving" = ineffective. May consume half the power of a real appliance, but you'll have to wash your stuff 6 times to get it clean. (6x0.5=3 times net energy usage.) It's like those stupid water-saving toilets that choke on a good pile.

          However, I will give you quieter. All of my Maytags are very loud. The dryer has a loud fan blowing air through the clothes in the drum. The dishwasher's pump screams when it cavitates at the end of a drain cycle. And the washing machine's spin cycle - before there were any requirements that it should be able to stop within x seconds of opening the lid - spins clothes so fast that you end up with little dots from the inside of the tub embossed into all of your clothing. Thankfully, I seldom need the dryer.

          Every machine represents a lot of energy to manufacture, and it should have a good lifespan to make it worthwhile. Furthermore, by doing their jobs more effectively than most modern machines, they're saving energy that way. They clean the roasting pan without a soak in hot water, and they spin a tub of underwear so quickly that they're dry enough to go directly into my drawer.

          Energy-Savings stickers may make hausfrau feel good, but I'm more concerned with efficiency.

      • What does a new dishwasher do that my old Maytag won't?

        The new one does not require small nuclear plant to produce enough energy to wash your plates after a dinner.

      • It's been cleaning dirty underwear for 48 years...

        please don't tell us it's the same underwear you bought 48 years ago when consumer reports recommended it.
      • But what about products that actually are better than their predecessors?

        Many of the products you mention may do the job as well as they did when new, but their replacements do the job *better* -- either directly (like cleaner clothes) or have a lower impact (use less power/fuel/water, are quieter, less polluting), or offer more features (delayed start, surround sound, more inputs/outputs).

        Your snowblower is likely 2-cycle -- loads of pollution (noise & particulate). Your cars are far more dangerous in accident, pollute, get terrible fuel economy and require far more maintenance, not to mention being less enjoyable to drive (vinyl bench seats, AM radios).

        Your washing machines undoubtedly are too loud and use too much electricity and water and don't wash as good as their modern counterparts.

        Your stereo, while perhaps providing a good output signal, doesn't have enough inputs or outputs for conemporary usage and probably uses more electricity. Your speakers probably have paper cones and can't last forever.

        I agree that too much of what is made is crap designed to be thrown out far earlier than it could be designed for. But carefully replacing some stuff every 10 or so years isn't a bad idea, simply to get the improvements in quality and environmental impact.

        • But what about products that actually are better than their predecessors?

          There are few. VCRs have more features but aren't as well built as the VCRs of yesteryear. Computers - you can't seriously claim that your P4 is as well built as an original IBM PC, though it may be several orders of magnitude faster.

          In fact, I can't think of anything.

          While CAD has been a boon to manufacturing and speeding product development cycles, I'd argue that finite element analysis and other techniques have simply taught manufacturers how to skimp on materials and fasteners everywhere.

          Many of the products you mention may do the job as well as they did when new, but their replacements do the job *better* -- either directly (like cleaner clothes) or have a lower impact (use less power/fuel/water, are quieter, less polluting), or offer more features (delayed start, surround sound, more inputs/outputs).

          Most inexpensive modern appliances lack delayed start.

          I don't believe most modern dishwashers handle dirty roasting pans very well. My old Maytag does. Now, the funny thing about cleaning a roasting pan is that it requires lots of hot water and powerful sprays. The Maytag delivers when it's needed. And it cleans the roasting pan. However, because consumers had electric, water and gas bills way back when, the Maytag could run without using its heating element so much, and without three 1/2-hour washes and four rinses - that's dinnerplate mode. 2 washes, 2 rinses. Water about 75C. It might well use more water in both those washes than a modern dishwasher, but incrementally more. ie. Not worth the energy to make a new dishwasher.

          Your snowblower is likely 2-cycle -- loads of pollution (noise & particulate).

          Uhhh... I'm in Canada. We know snowblowers. I've never seen a two-cycle snowblower. Around here, all snowblowers are 4-cycle with 2-stage blowers.

          As it is, the Ariens blew its motor about three years ago - the thing was just worn out. New snowblower of reasonable quality - $500. But my old Ariens chassis was in great shape. So I went to Princess Auto, bought a horizontal crankshaft Tecumseh engine for $200, and bolted it on. Now the Ariens has exactly the same engine as a modern blower.

          The only thing the Ariens lacks is dummy guards. You know, those stupid mechanism which are meant to keep Darwin's weaker specimens from putting their hands into running machinery. My reaction is that if you're dumb enough to put your hands into a running snowblower, you deserve to lose them.

          Your cars are far more dangerous in accident, pollute, get terrible fuel economy and require far more maintenance, not to mention being less enjoyable to drive (vinyl bench seats, AM radios).

          The Valiant and Dart are unibody cars. They're designed to collapse in an accident. However, an SUV is built of a body riding on a box-section steel frame which is very difficult to collapse. I'd take the Valiant or the Dart anyday. Sure, they don't have airbags, but airbags are only an incremental improvement in safety.

          The Valiant and the Dart are rear-wheel-drive, making emergency maneouvers far more predictable - why do you think cops liked Caprice Classics and Crown Vics so much?

          Energy efficiency and pollution: my Valiant and Dart are both powered by the Slant-6 engine. The Slant-6 is a 225 CID (3.7L) OHV inline 6 cylinder engine designed for economy. Both of those cars get ~28MPG highway, respectable for a modern car of their size. The Valiant came with electronic ignition, the Dart was retrofitted with electronic ignition. They don't have catalytic converters or feedback EFI systems, so they're not quite as clean as a modern car under all conditions. But they're well maintained, and according to my friend who runs the local DriveClean shop, they blow as clean on the tailpipe as the typical 1992-model car. Note that the typical 1992-model car probably isn't as well-maintained as these two. How is that possible? The DriveClean allowance for vehicle wear is greater than the (slight but measurable) influence of EFI and a catalytic converter.

          In fact, catalytic converters are restrictions on your exhaust system. If you consider the 4-stroke cycle for a second, you can imagine that anything which restricts the flow of exhaust gases out of your engine will waste crankshaft power. Take the catalytic converter off your car and you'll probably find that you get 20% more gas mileage. Sure, you'll be spitting more CO and HC into the atmosphere, but if you've taken any university-level chemistry classes, you'll be able to calculate the equilibrium for CO2/CO in the atmosphere and how long the HC will take to disintegrate. Catalytic converters are feel-good devices that waste energy themselves.

          Maintenance? I wash and wax the Valiant and Dart. I check and change their fluids. When something breaks, I fix it. Both have electronic ignition, so I'm not adjusting their points every week. Both run on modern radial tires, cutting the maintenance of bias-ply tires. In fact, the only maintenance I have to do which is above and beyond that of a more modern car, is adjusting the valve lash on their engines. Until ~1980, the Slant-6 had mechanical valve lifters. Takes a few minutes to do every year. No big deal. Oh, and I lubricate the balljoints and tie-rod ends at the same time.

          AM radio and vinyl bench seat? Okay. Well, the Dart has an AM radio and a cloth bench seat. A CD player is hidden in the glove box. If you've only ever gone to the local make-out spot with bucket seats, you don't know what you're missing. The Valiant is a Brougham edition, with crushed velour and leather bucket seats, an AM/FM radio, air conditioning, etc. Basically, it's a miniature version of the 1974 Chrysler New Yorker, with an emphasis on comfort and gas mileage (this was the time of the Arab Oil Embargo). It's cushy.

          Your washing machines undoubtedly are too loud and use too much electricity and water and don't wash as good as their modern counterparts.

          Loud, yes. Dries clothes well enough that I don't need to use my dryer very often.

          The Maytag A-504's mechanism was retained without significant changes through the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s and 1980s. In fact, you can still buy it today in Maytag's commercial coin-operated washing machines. Apparently, it cleans pretty well. Part of that has to do with the fact that it actually uses enough water to clean well.

          As for water usage, all vertical basket washing machines will fill the tub up to the appropriate level. They all use about the same amount of water. Yes, it's more than those silly canted (water-efficient) washers, but if water dissolves dirt, do you really think your clothes are going to be as clean?

          Electricity. No. The biggest thing running in the washing machine is the motor. I think you'll find that most washing machines, even today, will have the same requirements to whip a heavy tub of damp clothes back and forth. I don't think the motor will have changed too much. Energy efficiency of the motor? Incremental improvements. Moore's Law has not applied to AC induction motors since about the 1920s. Since then, they've remained mostly unchanged.

          Your stereo, while perhaps providing a good output signal, doesn't have enough inputs or outputs for conemporary usage and probably uses more electricity.

          It's connected to my computer. That's the only place it's ever used. Do I want 5.1 sound for playing MP3s and listening to KMail's New Mail beep? No.

          How's the sound quality? Well, I don't know. I think it's pretty good. Seeing as how I used to do professional sound and lighting for a living - having done audio for The Three Tenors, Garth Brooks and Harry Belafonte among others, I feel like I might be qualified to judge.

          As for energy usage, what, you think you're gonna power 5.1 channels for free? No way. This amplifier only has two channels. It's rated for 50W RMS at the output, and therefore consumed about 250W at the input when I crank up the volume. The output stages are NOT class A, so when the volume is lower, the input power requirements are lower.

          Your speakers probably have paper cones and can't last forever.

          As do virtually all good quality loudspeakers. Polypropylene cones might be good for children with car stereos and boom-boxes, but if you go into any good high-end audio store (where you would have found Acoustic Research speakers being sold in the 1970s), you'll find that they're almost all paper.

          Sure, the paper cones will eventually die. But they'll be in the same company as Celestions or Klipsche or ElectroVoice speakers. And, like with those speakers, I'll look at their overall condition, and decide whether or not I wish to spend the $200 having them reconed.

          I agree that too much of what is made is crap designed to be thrown out far earlier than it could be designed for.

          Thank you.

          But carefully replacing some stuff every 10 or so years isn't a bad idea, simply to get the improvements in quality and environmental impact.

          You've got interesting ideas, which I think will change when you've actually seen how much energy goes into manufacturing something.

  • Which would actually be great for listening to talk shows. Those glasses and a cell phone would be a talk show junkie on the go's dream! I can hear it now though: "Hello, you're on the air (dead air)...Hello, (sound of breathing) Hello, can you turn down your glasses please, we're on 7 second delay!"
  • Dangerous Toys (Score:4, Interesting)

    by jms ( 11418 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:13AM (#4831305)
    My favorite is the Mattel Agent Zero M Sonic Blaster 5530. [consumerreports.org] What the picture fails to show is the little boy wetting his pants with excitement and joy when he opened his Christmas Present and saw that monster air bazooka. I know I would have!

    • by caternater ( 574933 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:19AM (#4831331)
      Good god! It has a 157dB blast. I guess the kids went through two pairs of pants... first from wetting himself with excitement, then from crapping himself after hearing that *boom*.
    • This looks real similiar to what we used to call a "Polish cannon." You take 5 or 6 empty tin cans (you know, the ones with real seams, not the extruded stuff), cut the bottoms out, and tape them together -- tightly -- with duct tape. Take an empty coke can and poke a small hole dead-center in the bottom, and tape this to one end of your tube (the small hole is outside, the side you drink from is inside). Break out the Ronco lighter fluid, and squeeze a healthy dose into the small hole at the end. Hold the cannon facing the ground and swing in several wide arcs. Grab with both hands and have a brave friend hold a lighter to the little hole (not the big hole!). The resulting explosion would lob a tennis ball several hundred yards. If you were unfortunate enough to be standing in front of it, you were assured of a temporary hearing loss.

      Oh, to be a kid again...
      • That has to be the most dangerous and darwin-award-ready description of an orange cannon I've ever seen.
        • Break out the Ronco lighter fluid, and squeeze a healthy dose into the small hole at the end.

          That has to be the most dangerous and darwin-award-ready description of an orange cannon I've ever seen.

          Gasoline works better. Yes, we used to actually use gasoline. And we're still alive and uninjured to tell about it.

          BTW, I do not recommend the use of gasoline in Polish cannons.

    • by CaseyB ( 1105 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:51AM (#4831432)
      • I don't think this is a real news article because the girl on the right looks Photoshopped. I have also never seen this toy in the stores and Wizco Toys has no discernable website, which is odd as well.

        N.B. - I read The Onion weekly, in case you were worried for me.
    • Seems like it should belong in the military assault weapons category and not the toys category. Rated: Totally Unacceptable!
  • Capsella (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:15AM (#4831313)
    Anybody remember Capsella? That stuff was the shit! It included mechanics, gears, electronics, even if you were lucky infra-red remote control.
    • I used to mix my Capsella and Robotix (the stuff made a while back by MiltonBradley, not the new stuff). If I remember correctly, they both used the same size octogon connectors.

      Those 2 sets always beat the parts off my Construx. Of course, Construx had the better TV commercials:
      You build wild creatures / Wilder than a movie feature!

      Fun Times ... Fun Times...

    • Capsella kicked ass. I still have some in my closet.
    • I loved that stuff. I used to combine it with my construx, lego, and erector sets. My brother and I used to build cars and mini-mechs and have battles with them. You could run those things into walls and they would still be alright. Sit a transformer (the ones made out of metal, not the cheap plastic shit of today) in one of them and you had a spaceship. When my mom sold the house, I think we had like 4 or 5 good sized boxes of the stuff that we gave away. :-(

      Ahhh, nostalgia. I think it's time to get a mindstorms set and build some robots. :-)
    • Capsella was also one of the few DIY robotics kits that you could use to buid a bot for almost every condition, and didn't cost a small fortune to buy. Water? Add propellers and floatation devices. Snow? Add tracks. Anywhere else, you could use tracks or wheels. This was almost a decade before MindStorms.

      One of these days I need to get a debit card, so I can buy a few kits on eBay.
  • by Cyno01 ( 573917 ) <Cyno01@hotmail.com> on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:15AM (#4831318) Homepage
    This brings to mind that classic SNL sketch...
    Consumer Reporter: Well, let's try this one. What about this little foam play ball? I mean, even you, Mr. Mainway, can't find anything dangerous about this. Huh?
    Irwin Mainway: [ takes ball, bounces it on table, then shoves it in his throat and feigns choking ]
    • Better yet, howabout switchblade [ken | male doll] (i dont remember exactally).
      or Bag O' Glass. That was a favorite in my house:

      Mr Mainway: Here. Try this one. We call it Bag O' Glass. Kids love it
      Reporter: *blink* Its glass. its SHARP.
      Mainway: But its glass. kids love it. its shiny. Ya' set it on the table - eh - Bag O' Glass! See. Its shiny
      ... etc...
    • Greatly appreciating the submision on flaming nerf balls.

      I love to see what the temperature tolerances are of certain objects.

      As an amature pyrotechnician I have built things that are suposed to catch fire, but never anything that wasn't suposed to catch fire and did. The good thing about that is It's easy to get good results. 8')
    • one of the funniest sketches they ever did!

      Accept no Substitutes!

      Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

      * Itching

      * Vertigo

      * Dizziness

      * Tingling in extremities

      * Loss of balance or coordination

      * Slurred speech

      * Temporary blindness

      * Profuse Sweating

      and my favorite...

      Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

  • Gaylord, the pup [consumerreports.org]

    I wonder where the etymology happened to change that word so much. Still more, I wonder if the original taker of that name really wanted to be known as the master of happyness at the time or not.

    Ryan Fenton
    • In six months of regular play, we estimate, the cost of batteries will exceed the cost of the toy itself.

      That this idea seemed ridiculous at the time is another way the world has changed. I imagine most small battery operated toys have similar economics today.

    • Wasn't there a troll or some other critter in the old Broom-Hilda cartoon named Gaylord? There was Hilda, that fuzzy guy, and then, IIRC, Gaylord.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Ah those were the days, boy does that make me fell old.

    Ah crap nevermind, im only 17 years old. :o
  • WHERE IS... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    The first electric vibrator?? I thought that would be the most important vintage appliance in their history. It put me out of business...
  • My god, I really want a turkey club sandwich [consumerreports.org].
  • The scary part is... I think my parents own a few of the items on this list =\
  • Those old blurbs are pretty interesting, but it would have been nice to have a little more info, or even the original articles, rather than just a photo and a paragraph of text. Still, browsing their archive is a cool way to waste a half hour or so... ;)

    DennyK
  • by dagg ( 153577 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:24AM (#4831343) Journal
    When I was like 12 years old... me and my friends used to try shoving fireworks into, or taping fireworks onto everything not living. We did it to nerf balls, frisbees, He-men, Fisher Price guys, and water balloons. We'd often light the firework, throw the item and stare. Was a lot of fun. Good thing the nerf balls never burst into flames. If they did... we would have did it more often :-).

    --Yer Sex while flying [tilegarden.com]

    • Weak! (Score:3, Funny)

      by CdotZinger ( 86269 )

      Tennis ball, soaked in gasoline, lit on fire--midnight street hockey.

      I still remember the demonic banshee sound the flaming ball made as it whizzed past our faces....

      {Phil Hartman} Good times, good times. {/Phil Hartman}

      • we used to play that game too, but in the middle of the day as well. Had to draw straws to see who got stuck in net -- nobody seemed to want to be the goalie.

      • Tennis ball, soaked in gasoline, lit on fire--midnight street hockey.

        Try this: Cut a hole into a tennis ball, fill with match-heads. Once it's full, bounce it as hard as you can, against something hard. Lofting as high as possible onto asphalt a good bit away from yourself is effective, and pretty safe.
  • by burgburgburg ( 574866 ) <splisken06@nospAm.email.com> on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:27AM (#4831358)
    I have all their records.

    And I play their video game.

    Read the comic books.

    And enjoy their iced coffee.

  • Real Vintage Toys (Score:3, Interesting)

    by denisonbigred ( 611860 ) <nbn2@c o r n e ll.edu> on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:29AM (#4831365)
    If you want to see some truely vintage toys google for "Buddy-L Trucks." My Grandfather developed a collection which my mother no has, that dates back to pre WW2, consisting of Buddy L trucks and old train collections. To put it in perspective, afer his death, my grandmother was offered sever hundred thousand dollars for a chunck of the collection by mulotiple museums.
  • Old. (Score:3, Interesting)

    by iamdrscience ( 541136 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:34AM (#4831377) Homepage
    I remember seeing those pictures from consumer reports at least 4 years ago. Finally, I've beaten the Slashdot curve!
    • I remember seeing them then too... via Slashdot! You haven't beaten the Slashdot curve, it's merely curved into a complete circle.

      • I was thinking the same thing. At least it's a repost with a span of a few years as opposed to the ones with a span of a few hours.
  • by A non moose cow ( 610391 ) <slashdot@rilo.org> on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:36AM (#4831390) Journal
    The nerf ball failed because it caught fire after being exposed to a lit match?

    I guess they also condemned:
    1. coloring books
    2. jigsaw puzzles
    3. the hair on childrens heads

    Why didn't they just condemn matches?
    • by repetty ( 260322 )
      Why didn't they just condemn matches?

      This is probably good thing. They fire test kids pajamas, too, as well the ought. Probably few things made E.M. doctors sicker than trying to peel melted pajamas off of screaming children
    • I think the issue is that it can't be that difficult to add something to the synthetic stuff to make it flame-retardant.

      Of course, that might just eliminate the possibility of it being non-carciogenic. :-)
    • Errr... the Nerf ball ignited after a two second exposure to flame. Nerf Ball became Nerf Ball of Flaming Death after a brief exposure to flame. You might as well let your kid play with the Big Hard Coal Ball.
      • Well you'd damn well better keep your kids away from such inflammable hazards as ... er.. paper, and books. I mean, geez, they're sooo flammable.

        Look here, if you expose something to flame then there's probably a decent chance it will burn. The lesson is not to "make everything fireproof," the lesson is to keep your damned kids from lighting stuff on fire! Sheesh.
    • It's a foam ball that's "safe" to play with in the house. You can chuck it around in the living room and nothing gets broken.

      Christmas day, after your presents are open your little brother tosses it randomly around the room. It lands on one of mom's candles she thought was safely burning high above where the kids or pets could get to it. The flaming ooze gets on the bookshelf, ignites the garland, which starts the house on fire.

      You write your letter to Nerf complaining about their products from the parking lot of the homeless shelter that you can't get into because its full.

      Merry Christmas, and thanks for the Nerf toys.
      • Dman people, it was supposed to be a joke. Lighten up a little.

        Anyway, since this has digressed, I will point out that the house would not have burned down if the people had not placed sources of open flame all over the place for the purpose of being "pretty". People with nerf-ball-aged children know better than to set up this potential hazard. (if they don't... well, I would call this "natural selection"). If the kid was throwing around a ball of asbestos, he could knock a candle into the garland, and bingo. Same result, no Nerf ball.

        Using the logic of Consumer Report's Nerf Ball decision, we could ban water because when you put cyanide solids in it, you get deadly cyanide gas, or we could ban bath tubs because they allow Hair-dryers to electrocute us.

        This logic only begins to make sense when the true source of the problem is too difficult to change, and the intermediary becomes an easier target. For example, we could ban guns because they allow people to kill us. This makes a lot more sense to people because they find banning guns preferable to the task of sorting out how to decide if someone is homicidal. On the other side (to keep this politically balanced), we could ban abortion clinics because they allow women to have abortions. The real "problem" (if you choose to see it that way) is the woman deciding to have an abortion, not the clinic. But the clinic is an easier target to deal with.

        I think it is pretty weak that Consumer Reports used Nerf as the target just because the real source of the problem (open flame in peoples households) was not in their grasp.
  • Ah but they missed (Score:3, Insightful)

    by syntap ( 242090 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @01:36AM (#4831391)
    Lawn darts and Merlin! How could they ? Actually they should have thrown in the Atari 2600 (Christmas 1977) in the 1970-1980 archive. Where would we be without the 2600?
  • This guy [consumerreports.org] has the worst job ever...
    Boss: Hey Jones, put this superglue on your hand and touch stuff...
    Guy: It works..
    Boss: Hmm... works too well... we don't like it!
  • Really cool.

    ~S
  • by Galvatron ( 115029 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @03:27AM (#4831645)
    Have a look at this [consumerreports.org]. Down near the bottom, there are two successive entries, the first about a car, the second about pens. The car in the picture is described as the cheapest American-made car, and cost $1000. The line below that, dated a year later states that the price of ballpoint pens just fell from $9 to $1. So, at the earlier price point, for the price of just slightly more than 100 pens, you could have yourself a new car! Today, of course, you can't get a new car for less than $8,000, but you can have yourself 100 Bics for, what, $2? It really is a striking illustration of how inflation is merely an average, prices on individual items increase or decrease at vastly different rates.
    • Today, of course, you can't get a new car for less than $8,000, but you can have yourself 100 Bics for, what, $2?

      I've got just one word for you: "Plastics"
    • Ah but you also forget..... 1948 cars didn't have: cassette/cd player power steering power brakes automatic transmissions safety glass windows (i think) seatbelts airbags abs brakes and the list goes on and on + most engines today have vastly more horsepower for the same displacement microchips while a pen : just still writes, perhaps has a comfort grip now If you stripped cars back to the 1948 level of features, they would be vastly cheaper
  • by Indy1 ( 99447 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @03:49AM (#4831682)
    A nerf gatling gun that shoots flaming nerf balls? Would be even cooler if the gatling gun had a little piezo speaker built-in that belched out sound effects (" I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" or a cheesy electronic version of Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries) as you sprayed your friends with glowing fireballs of death.
  • by Juln ( 41313 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @04:29AM (#4831755) Homepage Journal
    I read something great in an old radio mag from 1961.
    They were talking about Japan. The article said that sure, Japan can make $50 television sets, and consumers might like that, but they will be upset if that TV breaks, right? And then the article said sure, those Japanese can make cheap stuff and can manufacture it inexpensively - but where they will never catch up is in being able to engineer quality products that appeal to western consumers!
    Ha h, hah. I guess they read that article and sent all their kids to engineering school.
  • Why did this man [consumerreports.org] glue himself to a hammer?
  • Ouch (Score:3, Funny)

    by Ezubaric ( 464724 ) on Saturday December 07, 2002 @07:55AM (#4832072) Homepage
    I'd hate to be this guy [consumerreports.org].

    One drop of this instant glue formed a bond between man and hammer in five seconds. We called it an instant hazard--and rated it Not Acceptable.
  • So is nobody else as freaked out as I am to see that thing? I mean sure it looks like a modern CD player, slot loading even, but if it reached the point where Consumer Reports was reviewing it, that means it was actually being sold, and that means that someone actually thought there was a market for something that would play three to five minutes of music (maybe twice that if it had dual needles and reverse spin) and then you had to change it out again!

    It would be twenty years before someone came up with a format to make that idea work. 72 minutes, on one side, and no frickin' needle either.

  • Who didn't like the Mistubishi Eclipse AWD because (and I'm not making this up)

    "The trunk isn't big enough to hold a wheelchair."

  • Did new tires really use to be this bald [consumerreports.org]? There's no way you could get me to drive today with those things on my car.

Ummm, well, OK. The network's the network, the computer's the computer. Sorry for the confusion. -- Sun Microsystems

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