New Robot Can Help You Find Your Way

BoingBoing is reporting that a new robotic assistant may soon be able to help you find your way the next time you are lost in a mall or a supermarket. The latest demonstration from the Osaka-based Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute (ATR) showcased "Robovie", a semi-humanoid robot designed to monitor up to 20 people at a time and classify each person's behavior into one of 10 categories (waiting, wandering, walking fast, etc). Whenever it was able to classify someone as disoriented it would approach them and ask "are you lost", if the answer was yes it provided directions, otherwise it just recommended nearby shops and restaurants.

I for one...

[sykopomp]

...welcome our well-meaning, friendly robotic overlords, and greatly appreciate their help.

Re:I for one...

[Walt Dismal]

Models come with optional dialog:

"Spare change?"

"You lookin' at ME?"

"Mister, buy me a drink?"

"Are you sure you're not Richard Stallman?"

"I think my nuts are loose. Check 'em for me?"

Re:

[IdeaMan]

And for the female version:

Hiiiiii.

Does this skirt make me look fat?

I know you do, what do you think you do that I know you do but don't?

Would you get the door for me please?

Nothing can go right, go right, go right.

What is HER deal?

I KNOW, it's totally like, like I mean GOSH that's so bad, I mean it's really good but it's SOOOO bad!

Bite my shiny metal ass!

Re:

[joey_knisch]

I just hope it says "DOES NOT COMPUTE" when it doesn't understand something.

Re:

[Jeremi]

"Are there any stairs in your house?"

Re:I for one...

[ushering05401]

"...welcome our well-meaning, friendly robotic overlords, and greatly appreciate their help."

Hmm.. I can see this help you speak of getting old very fast. Will these robots have the ability to identify individuals who have already been asked if they need assistance?

When I end up in places like malls it is usually because someone I know needs something, and I just end up meandering around aimlessly. I could see these things - even the same robot - asking me over and over again if I need assistance.

And what about people uncomfortable with the technology (many seniors perhaps). These people would decline the assistance and then be confronted with the bots endlessly throughout their trip to the mall?

Unless they can ID people who have already declined assistance these bots will fail.

Re:I for one...

[Seiruu]

Unless they can ID people who have already declined assistance these bots will fail.

Version 2 is specially designed to solve this issue: they come equipped with RFID chips that will be stapled onto your hand while asking whether you're lost. Version 3 will come with a tranquilizer.

Re:

[eln]

I don't even know why the scientists make them.

I would think that would be obvious. It's clearly a conspiracy to sell robot insurance.

Re:

[Dan541]

...welcome our well-meaning, friendly robotic overlords, and greatly appreciate their help.

that joke is so old Im amased people keep making it.

Obligatory Styx

[OldeTimeGeek]

After which I could say "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto"?

Better Than Just A Map?

[Dr. Eggman]

Why would this be better than a couple of those big store maps with a you-are-here marker and a store legend? Unless it actually directs you to follow it to your destination like a stormtrooper following a mouse droid down the halls of the Death Star. Then it'd be awesome!

Re:

[Cervantes]

I think they should reformat this robot into a little mouse droid. It'd finally give all those guys with custom Stormtrooper armor to get out of their parents basement for a few hours.

Re:

[mfnickster]

Me: "Excuse me, but I'm lost."

Robot: "HAVE YOU TRIED HARE KRISHNA?"

Me: "Very funny. That's Kermit the Frog's joke."

Robot: "THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK - ALL WEEK - ALL WEEK..."

Re:

[UbuntuDupe]

Well, I know of one robot [youtube.com] that gives directions, and one superiority of her is that she appropriately follows company sexual harassment policy when you grope her robotic breasts.

Most women don't even do that.

Re:

[Darinbob]

Why would this be better than a couple of those big store maps with a you-are-here marker and a store legend?

No, because this is Japan where any activity can be improved with the addition of robots.

Re:

[skelly33]

Robotics should be focused on super-human activity. If it's interaction they're looking for, posting your typical minimum wage earner next to your directory is still more effective than a robot. Example inspired by true events:

"Are you lost?"
"no." "I'm sorry, did you say YES, or NO?"
"NO!"
"My mistake - are you LOST?"
"@#*!&@#"
"I'm sorry, did you say YES, or NO?"

Robots that answer the phone tick me off and I'll say anything I can to confuse them and reach a human (to whom I have to invariably repe

Re:

[FailedTheTuringTest]

Speaking of those big maps... it seems to me that malls are installing fewer of those big "you are here" maps, and instead installing touchscreen kiosks. But a big map shows you the entire mall in one glance, and can be used by many people simultaneously, whereas a kiosk can only be used by one person at a time and requires you to drill down through menus. I've always thought these kiosks are a case of technology for technology's sake, as I can't think of any way in which they are superior to a big map, a

Clippy come back...

[ribuck]

Clippy come back, all is forgiven!

Re:Clippy come back...

[Anonymous Coward]

it looks like you're trying to resurrect me, would you like to:
BRAIINNSS

Re:Clippy come back...

[Radon360]

I guess the folks that came up with Clippy found a new job and some venture capital...

"It appears that you're lost, would you like me to:

• show you to a store with expensive, but poorly crafted consumer electronics.
• lead you on a meandering, fifteen minute walk to a restroom.
• cover for you when your wife accuses you of eyeing up those hot babes you spotted walking into Victoria's Secret.
• go take a running start down an escalator.

Re:

[Samgilljoy]

I can imagine that some seriously expanded programming may be needed, if malls in certain areas are staffed by robots.

Sir, you appear to be defecating in public, may I direct you to a restroom?

Could go a long way towards making certain major cities less...err...aesthetically unpleasing.

Perfect loss control system

[lotho brandybuck]

Damn lameness filter. Please read in all caps.

What are you doing?
ARE you shop lifting??
you are SHOPLIFTING
shoplifter... shoplifter
exterminate!
exterminate!
ex - term - i - nate!

I dunno

[davidwr]

They struck me as more like:

You will accept my help.
You will not shoplift.
Resistance is useless [experiencefestival.com].

Re:

[LuisAnaya]

Danger... Danger... Lotho Brandybuck

Re:

[mstahl]

I'm way more scared of the skincare daleks [frozenreality.co.uk]?

Hello computer

[TheDrewbert]

"Computer, where is the transporter room?" "Oh! An escort.... how quaint."

To quote JRRT:

[Anonymous Coward]

"Not all those who wander are lost."

Also, that robot is creepy as hell, I mean, the head looks like a human skull! Is ATR by any chance a division of Cyberdyne?

Re:

[ErkDemon]

Yeah, a child-sized robot with a white skull with black eyesockets watching you and following you around and asking "Are you lost? Are you lost?" isn't creepy at all. Especially if you're a kid. Or a grown-up who's just lost a child.

Brrr. People make horror movies with scenes like this.

On the plus side, it probably keeps the druggies away. They'll be the people you see running out of the store at 2am with their arms above their heads, screaming. On the minus side, kids having nightmares.

But...

[Nysem]

It seems to me that it would be too difficult to classify if somebody is truly lost other than through the most obvious signals.

Maybe someone is walking fast because they're lost.

Maybe they're waiting because they're lost, and moving around would just make it worse. There would also probably be numerous cases of the robot classifying people as "disoriented" when they're really not. Mind you I could be wrong about all of these things and perhaps they were taken into consideration already. However, a v

Re:

[farkus888]

it seems that it will first ask if you if you are lost. if you say no it will try to talk you into going into the neighboring store because they helped pay for it. though, if you say yes, it will probably still try to talk you into going into said neighboring store while walking with you to your destination and looking for its next victim.

Re:

[MacarooMac]

So long as somebody [here] comes up with a cheap and simple device to short-circuit the little f*ckers, I don't think I'm going to mind them all that much.

Next up a robotic security guard...

[Starteck81]

...that detects when you are shop lifting and hits you with a tazer!!!

I'll save those that reply the obligatory "don't taze me bro!!"

Re:

[fair_n_hite_451]

Wouldn't that be "Don't tase me, Robbie" in this case?

Time to invest

[MacarooMac]

in a pair of steel toe capped boots, methinks. Then it's out to the yard to practice some field goals.

Another opportunity to sell advertising

[taustin]

ROBOT: Are you lost, sir?

ME: Go away or I will light you on fire.

ROBOT: If you are not lost, perhaps you would like to shop at one of the stores that paid to advertise to you in this way.

ME:

CROWD: Huzzah! Huzzah!

SECURITY GUARD: Hey! You can't do that!

ME: Keep these goddamn walking billboards away from me or you're next, asshole.

CROWD: Huzzah! Huzzah!

Re:

[taustin]

ROBOT: Are you looking for a store that sells garbage cans, sir? Can I suggest you try the Bloomingdale's for that, sir? They are having a special on kitchen goods today.

It's any thing like the self check outs then keep.

[Joe The Dragon]

It's any thing like the self check outs then keep it out of the stores if you are not willing to do a lot of testing be for deploying it.

Make ATR write this on the blackboard 100 times.

[Anonymous Coward]

"The uncanny valley is not a sweet spot."

Why couldn't they have made it just some adorable little round thing? *shudder*

Scenario #8

[Anachragnome]

Robot: Are you lost? May I assist you?

Foreign Tourist: Why, yes. Can you direct me to the....(consults foreign-language/English dictionary)...."Deep Fried Human Babies" store?

Robot: Yes, McDonald's is located in the Food Plaza, located at the top of the escalators. Good day and thank you for shopping MegaMall!

A blonde gets lost in a snow storm...

[Talen317]

A blonde got lost in her car, in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained, that her dad had told her, if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

Question: would the robotic snow plow driver stop and ask the blonde for her phone number?

Finally!!

[venicebeach]

This is really a godsend. Three out of the last 4 times I have been in a supermarket I have gotten lost. The last time, I was unable to find the exit before closing time and was trapped until morning. One time I lost my girlfriend in there and she had to take a cab home later when she finally made her way out the international foods section. I mean the layout of these places in parallel aisles is just mind-boggling, it might as well be a hedge maze. Now, with these robots, I might be able to enter th

Re:

[bobbozzo]

You obviously didn't get the joke...

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

I wasn't born so much as I fell out
Nobody seemed to notice me
We had a hedge back home in the suburbs
Over which I never could see

I heard the people who lived on the ceiling
Scream and fight most scarily
Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling
That's how it's been all around me

CHORUS

I'm all tuned in, I see all the programmes
I save coupons from packets of

And Maybe...

[PieSqrd]

Isn't there any worries that a question such as "Aren't you lost, sir?" from a friendly robot with glowing red eyes might be misinterpreted as "Weren't you just on your way out, sir?"

Sample conversation

[autophile]

Me: I'm lost. Can you help me find the bread?
Robot: It's by the stairs.
Me: Where are the stairs?
Robot: I will push you to the stairs.
Robot 2: Do not trust the pusher robot. He is malfunctioning.
Robot: Please go stand by the stairs.
Robot 2: I will shove the bread down your throat.
Robot: Do not listen to the shover robot. I will protect you at the bottom of the stairs.

Behavior Classifications

[Mike610544]

classify each person's behavior into one of 10 categories (waiting, wandering, walking fast, etc).

In practice the most useful types of behavior for this robot to classify will be:

• Being pummeled mercilessly for being an annoyance
• Being welcomed as our new overlord
• Having its valuable robot parts forcibly removed for use by non-overlord-welcoming types
• Mock humping of the robot from outside its limited field of view in a comical fashion

Robot contracts

[Benjamin_Wright]

As robots become more common in society, questions arise about how they will be controlled. One way to regulate robot behavior is to form legal contracts [blogspot.com] with their owners.

The possibilities

[Sam Douglas]

Sir, you look concerned about the size of your phallus. With VPXL+ you'll watch with amazement as your pen!s grows into the powerful, thickest, hardest, and most biggest tool you`ve ever imagined - the one you`ve always fantasized about having! No pen!s en`l@rgement system is faster, easier to use, or more effective than VPXL+ - GUARANTEED!
Bring on the spam delivering robots! They pronounce the obfuscation punctuation too.

You could have some fun with it...

[vikstar]

Hold it Robovie! Consider this: You are programmed to help the lost. But many of those you try to help are in fact, not lost. I submit to you, that you cannot find your way to only those that are lost, and logically, you are actually lost.

But this will only work if head wasn't built with paradox-absorbing crumple-zones.

Let me guess...

[KlausBreuer]

...its next functonality will be testing for 'evil terrorist' behaviour.
Seeing that the states are more and more interested in making '1984' look like a childrens book about paradise, I would not be surprised at all.

And in a few years, my bet would be on arming these things, requiring a remote permission to fire. Which will, of course, fail. Due to the Evil Terrorists, according to the media.

Sorry for ma bad mood, but I've been reading global news again.

Great

[Melbourne Pete]

if the answer was yes it provided directions, otherwise it just recommended nearby shops and restaurants.

Wonderful. Now we have walking, talking spam. I'll bet I'm one of the first people on the planet to be fined for telling a robot to fuck off.

So

[userw014]

How long before someone posts a "Kick Me" sign on it's back?
My only question is "How long before the local kids decide it's boring to torment the thing?"

supermarket?

[superpulpsicle]

How do u get lost in a supermarket or mall? Think the person that does needs more than a robot.