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Inside the Windows 7 Launch Party Pack 267

Barence writes to tell us that it seems Microsoft has been grinding away in the corporate world for so long, they have forgotten what "fun" means. PC Pro managed to get their hands on one of the "party packs," and it seems woefully inadequate. Nowhere did we see a pin-the-chair on the Ballmer game, giveaways that you might actually use, or even a few balloons or streamers. Instead, the only reason to get a party pack seems to be the free copy of Windows Ultimate Signature edition, which doesn't do much for your party guests (unless you burn them all copies I guess, but we would never condone that). All-in-all, it seems that Microsoft should have gone to the nearest dorm room and asked for some pointers on how to have a good party.
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Inside the Windows 7 Launch Party Pack

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  • Yep (Score:4, Funny)

    by sopssa ( 1498795 ) * <> on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:08PM (#29697817) Journal

    This pretty much sums up the image of "nerds party pack" or nerds throwing a fun party.

    Sad, but insightful.

    • Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)

      by GigaHurtsMyRobot ( 1143329 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:13PM (#29697895) Journal
      The signature edition of Windows 7 Ultimate is worth it. Mine should arrive today actually. It is a great excuse to have a party, get some friends to come over, and have a few drinks. I basically won over $300 of software... the fact that they threw in Napkins and Tote Bags are silly but I certainly won't complain about it!!
      • by davidwr ( 791652 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:22PM (#29698013) Homepage Journal

        Be a sport and raffle it off as a door prize or auction it off, and give proceeds, less your real costs for providing food and drinks, to a charity. Does the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation accept donations?

      • Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)

        by schon ( 31600 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:36PM (#29698209)

        It is a great excuse to have a party

        No, it really isn't.

        "Hey, it's Friday!" is a great excuse to have a party.

        "Hey, MS sent me marketing crap, let's have a party!" is a great excuse to dress your dogs up in sweaters, because they're the only friends you'll ever have.

        • Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)

          by node 3 ( 115640 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:21PM (#29698761)

          It could have been worse. They could have included copies of Windows for the guests, too.

        • Re:Yep (Score:4, Funny)

          by Idiomatick ( 976696 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:43PM (#29698993)
          You are forgetting the first rule of being a college student. Nothing free is EVER bad. If someone offers you free pizza and its 3days old.. well that's pretty nasty but its FREE you can't turn that down. I thought all the linux geeks on here would get this rule too.
        • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

          by apoc.famine ( 621563 )

          I'm a huge dork. Yet for the last few years, I've thrown big parties for my birthday. 30-40 people at them. A mix of 30% relatives, and 70% dorks. And they've been an awesome 6-7 hours of fun. The requirements? Booze, food, games, and places to sit. When my Aunt is getting tipsy while playing The Last Night on Earth with my dorky friends, all is well.

          You don't need much of an excuse to throw a party - you need to provide enough of a good time that the people you invite want to come.

          I manag

        • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

          by macshit ( 157376 )

          "Hey, MS sent me marketing crap, let's have a party!" is a great excuse to dress your dogs up in sweaters, because they're the only friends you'll ever have.

          Hoooooooooooooold on.

          Cats? Fish? Star wars figurines?!

          Friends are practically oozing out of the knotty-pine paneling!

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by Tripledub ( 951046 )
        I am having mine on our usual drinking night. Got 20 gallons of homebrew and pizzas. Sit back and stream something from netflix and call it close enough.
      • Re:Yep (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Locutus ( 9039 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:27PM (#29698831)
        Download any Linux distribution and get thousands of dollars worth of software for free, throw a party and hand out copies so your friends get thousands of dollars worth of software too. $300 only if someone willing to pay that.

      • I agree the copy of Windows was well worth the little sign up and 10 invites. And the playing cards will come in handy for drinking games... Though I was disappointed with the poster. Everything else had the design of a corporate acid trip, yet the poster was just a handful of backgrounds.
      • So where's your house, and when do you want us to show up?
    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by tverbeek ( 457094 )

      The only way a Windows Launch Party Pack would be fun is if it included a large quantity of alcohol.

      • That video is so lame that it caused me physical pain.

        I actually had a great windows XP install party. The release coincided nicely with the start of university. It was bring at least some alcohol and a pre-determined piece of the .rar file.
        Some guy turned up already pissed, and had about 4 pieces of the rar on a iomega zip disk (remember those?). We assembled all the pieces and started in unrar, but one of his pieces was corrupt.

        With luck, scandisk fixed his zip disk so we got a valid iso. Re-downloading j

        • wow, no kidding about the video. It looked to me as if it had been done by a retarded chimpanzee on crack. All the terrible camera angles, the jerky zooms, it didn't look "cool", it just made my head hurt.
  • by Zortrium ( 1251080 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:10PM (#29697839) Homepage
    What will I be able to throw at the Mac/Linux users who show up?
    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Chair throwing isn't for Mac/Linux users. It's for people who use Google maps to find directions to your party.

    • by Ant P. ( 974313 )

      Copies of UT3?

    • by node 3 ( 115640 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:52PM (#29699101)

      What will I be able to throw at the Mac/Linux users who show up?

      I don't think you'll find many Mac/Linux users at a Windows 7 party. Unless there's promise of alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Judgement impairing alcohol...

      You'll want to prepare for your party by burning multiple copies of the Windows 7 DVD. You'll need extras because at first, the Linux and Mac users will damage them by playing Windows 7 Ultimate Frisbee, and popping them in the microwave, etc. Once the discs start remaining relatively unmolested, you'll know your trap is set.

      Be prepared to receive the cold shoulder for a while, or perhaps even lose a few friends, for you see, what will transpire the next morning/afternoon is your former friends will awaken in a haze, feeling something is not quite right, but not sure what it is. They'll replay the previous evening's events in their minds to make sure they didn't do anything overly regretful, and then it will hit them.

      In a panic, they'll rush to their computer, boot it up, knowing what they'll find while hoping and praying it didn't really happen, only to find themselves staring, in horror, at that damned Windows 7 fish.

      Once they come out of their shock, the damage control begins. Mac users will have the advantage of being able to undo everything, as they've used protection (Boot Camp).

      The Linux users will find no such comfort. Linux is the OS of an Open Source Master. It's not as clumsy or random as Windows, destroying all partitions in its path. It's an elegant system for a more civilized age. Because Windows is not, it will have written over their Linux partition, rendering the previous night's indiscretion much more serious and the data loss irreversible.

      On the other hand, their wireless will start working...

  • OMG! (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Releasing easily-hackable, infectable code is shameful. Not knowing how to party is unforgivable!

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by imamac ( 1083405 )
      That video reminded me of women planning a Tuperware party. Truly unforgivable...
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by TheRaven64 ( 641858 )
      Wow, that was painful. It comes with an instruction sheet for the host to keep with them at the party! If you don't know how to host a party, I have a tip for you: Having a set of printed instructions with you at the party will not help you.
  • by sakdoctor ( 1087155 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:11PM (#29697859) Homepage

    Rubber tubing, gas, saw, gloves, cuffs, razor wire, hatchet, gladys and my mitts.

  • by antifoidulus ( 807088 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:11PM (#29697867) Homepage Journal
    waking up hung over, going over to your computer, pushing the mouse to wake the monitor and realizing you got so drunk at the party you attended last night that you installed Windows on your own computer.
  • I agree (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Icarus1919 ( 802533 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:13PM (#29697881)
    They should have at least thrown in a couple grams of blow.
  • by Aphoxema ( 1088507 ) * on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:17PM (#29697945) Homepage Journal

    The Windows 7 Launch Party, it's like the birthday party for the loved one you adore who has a terminal illness and is unlikely to see another year.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by kipd ( 1593207 )
      Actually, it is more like inviting a friend to a surprise party, and then "installing" cancer in his stomach, before celebrating it with napkins and small bags.
      • Man, this whole thing is really depressing. I've never had an article AND the comments on /. make me feel so down and disappointed with Humanity.

  • by PhrostyMcByte ( 589271 ) <> on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:18PM (#29697953) Homepage
    You have balloons, streamers, a deck of cards, and a puzzle. It's like they want you to throw a lame children's birthday party. I really have to wonder how this got through without anyone noticing how terrible it is. And the goodies you're supposed to give to guests? Two of them are cards for antivirus software. I guess that's being responsible, but pointing out ways to fix your software's faults is still a funny way to market a new product.
    • by loftwyr ( 36717 )
      The anti-virus software is MS's version of including condoms.... sounds like they actually expect nerds to have sexual partners.
      • The anti-virus software is MS's version of including condoms.... sounds like they actually expect nerds to have sexual partners.

        No, it sounds like they don't - unless you're doing something really hinky to your computer during the Windows install...

    • by Fnord666 ( 889225 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:36PM (#29698207) Journal

      I really have to wonder how this got through without anyone noticing how terrible it is.

      Please see Windows ME and Vista for reference.

    • Yeah, since Windows 7 has so many different editions, the should also have a Windows 7 Debauched Launch Party Edition. All you need is lots of booze. And I mean 64 bit proof booze. Gallons of it. When your guests get tanked enough they won't give a shit about food or . . .

      You have balloons,

      Blow up some condoms.


      Put a bunch of razor blades in your printer, and print out a bunch of shit.

      a deck of cards,

      A stack of CD-ROMS and a marker. Make your own.

      and a puzzle.

      The desire and ability to do a puzzle can be quashed with more booze. Followed by some flam

    • The puzzle is oddly cool, but have you looked at the poster? It's the stuff of nightmares. The napkins are going to be randomly placed in restaurant napkin dispensers.
    • You bastard!

      My pack just had branded napkins and the bags...

  • by NoYob ( 1630681 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:19PM (#29697969)
    So, I did a bit of searching and I found this on Tom's Hardware []

    The video of Balmer getting out of breath was worth it.

    Balmer, you really need to get some exercise!

    It looks for real and you can get a free version of Windows 7 Ultimate if you host a party!

  • There is just no punch

  • I wonder (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Capt.DrumkenBum ( 1173011 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:28PM (#29698115)
    I wonder how many of the Windows 7 "parties" will really be Linux install fests.
  • Maybe Microsoft is just trying to make the launch of a software product so completely lame and uninteresting that people see how stupid marketing really is. Maybe they're trying to poke fun at Apple and everyone else who makes a big deal of their releases. Who am I kidding? Microsoft really is that lame. What else do you expect when the majority of the employees aren't even citizens of the country the product is sold in? Of course they're going to blow things like product launches, and completely fail

  • When I opened my Party Pack last night, my wife's reaction to almost everything in it was "WTF!".

    We are still going all out for the party, just for the sake of irony.

  • by Jeremy Erwin ( 2054 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:39PM (#29698251) Journal

    Microsoft is trying to deflate the "John Hodgeman as PC" meme. So, since everyone knows that it's not appropriate to pick on little girls, "Windows 7" is personified by the (almost) seven your old girl in the ads. Apple looks like a big ,meanie. Why not give her a little birthday party, with cake, and games, and clowns, and.... OMG PONIES!!!

  • by Animats ( 122034 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:43PM (#29698297) Homepage

    If they'd given out, say, 10 copies of Windows 7, 10 copies of a game that uses Windows 7 in some useful way, and a 10-port LAN hub, at least you could have a LAN party.

    • by Kesch ( 943326 )

      You mean you don't set up file transfers and race to see who finishes first. (Mine only has -243.7 years to go! Bill's transfer is the favorite at the minute though since it's units are expressed in minutes.)

    • They should have been a bit more generous with the copies of Windows 7. Two copies would have allowed you to raffle one off or play games for it.

    • That would have been cool too.... even 5 copies of each, and an 8-port hub would work.

  • by tacokill ( 531275 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:48PM (#29698351)
    Honestly, following this marketing effort from MSFT is a bit like watching Nascar. I couldn't care less about the drivers or the cars but damn....there are some fine wipeouts to see.

    It boggles the mind how something like this got out of the door. Seriously. Many of us here on /. work in corp environments and as much as we detest marketing-droids, at the end of the day, we realize their usefulness on some level.

    I don't see that anywhere in this effort. It is so laughably bad, that I almost can't believe it's real. Puzzles? Cards? A party for an operating system? WTF is going on here? Is this serious? Or am I being punk'd? Where's Ashton?
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by daeley ( 126313 )

      Many of us here on /. work in corp environments and as much as we detest marketing-droids, at the end of the day, we realize their usefulness on some level.

      Sure, they keep the horde of undead occupied while you escape via the parking garage or roof.

  • The worst product launch I ever went to was the OS/2 Warp 4.0 launch. I was working for a guy who was an "official" IBM reseller, and we got invited to a big launch event at IBM's offices in Vancouver. They had a video feed to wherever the hell the official launch was happening.

    Anyways, the food sucked (crappy little deli sandwiches, bad coffee and weird fruit cake squares), and instead of handing us copies of Warp 4 (which you would think they would have done, considering they wanted us to go out and sel

  • by whitefox ( 16740 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @04:54PM (#29698437)

    I received my package yesterday and it had everything mentioned in the article plus balloons, streamers, and a few more goodies. Sounds like their package wasn't complete.

    The way we're going to do it is I'll install a temp copy of 7 on my laptop, show a few things I know, and then let my guests play with it. We're also hosting a BBQ, playing some GH [], RB [], Wii Sports [], and just plain chilling out.

    I'm still undecided on whether to raffle off the single goodies (e.g. playing cards) or do some kind of trivia game: what kind of car was BG [] driving when he got hauled for the infamous mugshot?

    After everyone's gone home I'll simply put my production hard drive back in the laptop and start using with my copy of Windows 7 Ultimate []. :)

    All in all, it should be a good time just getting together and hanging out.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Aphoxema ( 1088507 ) *

      5 digits... This is such a sad day for me.

      • by mortonda ( 5175 )

        5 digits... This is such a sad day for me.

        What, 5 digit users using windows? yeah, /. started going downhill about then.

        Can Windows 7 be run in a vmware client machine? I'm not about to dedicate any bare metal space to it...

    • Wow. And here I've lost my "-1, Retarded Nerd" mod. Why don't you hand out some old AOL CDs while you're at it?

  • What was expected? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by CannonballHead ( 842625 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:02PM (#29698539)

    It seems like everyone had expectations that the party pack would be free copies of Windows 7, free food, free decorations, free ...

    Are you seeing a pattern? I guess people thought that the Launch Party was a time where Microsoft could give away lots of free stuff. I'm not sure that's the point.

    I still think it failed and was pretty bad marketing, but I don't think the point of the party pack was to give away free copies of their software that they want people to buy. And I wasn't expecting them to give you brownies.

    Oh well. The summary writer had a pretty obvious slant/bias. Pin-the-chair-on-Ballmer game? Right...

    • Honestly, they could have gone a little farther... even 5 copies of Win7 Home Premium per pack would go a *LONG* way to encouraging those people to tell others via word of mouth... given as door prizes or something... maybe have like 100 raffle tickets, and 20 things to give away (1 copy of ultimate for the host, 5 home for prizes, a few MS games, and some download coupons).. Hell they could have got with Amazon, Newegg or another major reseller to give promo coupons and it might have been more interesting

  • The best thing in the pack (other than the free Windows) I received was a package of 10 reusable grocery bags. My wife was honestly more excited about getting those than she was about the Win7 Ultimate.
  • What? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Eminor ( 455350 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:15PM (#29698687)

    Wait? No Condoms?

  • by similar_name ( 1164087 ) on Friday October 09, 2009 @05:23PM (#29698779)
    Perhaps balloons and streamers will come in the first Party Service Pack.
  • So host gets it - and guest get... well shit.
    My top tip to MS next time would be to:
    a) Include a copy for everybody - either a nice copy in the bag, or a voucher they could register for a download, or even just a couple to raffle off. b) Include alcohol - parties need alcohol, or they're "a meeting"
  • I see blogs and sites like this harping on the stupidity of the Windows 7 launch party package all over the place, meaning that Microsoft's marketing has done its job - everyone and their dog now knows not only that Windows 7 exists, but that it is launching soon.

    Seriously, if they wanted you to have a party they would have put alcohol in it. They wanted to get people talking, and they did.

  • Back in September, Chabil Ha said on Slashdot that he was planning a Windows 7 party, which would include comparison demos of Snow Leopard and Ubuntu. Did anyone hear if he ever actually got around to doing his Windows 7 Launch party? His party sounds like more fun, especially they have some good Pizza and beer.

    If they wait till the end of this month, they would have the 9.10 Karmic Koala version of Ubuntu to use in the comparison, too.
  • Wait... are you telling me I could have gotten free stuff by signing up as a host?

    Damn it, if I'd have known that, I would have signed up for it! The Windows 7 playing cards would be great for work, since we're not allowed to have Solitaire on our computers!

"Let every man teach his son, teach his daughter, that labor is honorable." -- Robert G. Ingersoll