15 Years of Microsoft Bob 191
harrymcc writes "Microsoft Bob — still synonymous in the tech industry with 'embarrassing flop' — shipped fifteen years ago this week, on March 31st, 1995. When the Windows interface featuring animated cartoon helpers was announced, it was hyped to the heavens and briefly accepted as a breakthrough that showed where software was going. Instead, dismal reviews and poor sales killed it after only a year on the market. At Technologizer, we're marking the anniversary with a complete look at how it came to be and why it failed so resoundingly — and how Microsoft tried again with Office's 'Clippy' and other attempts to revive the basic idea."
Oh great... (Score:5, Funny)
And to think, I was *this* close to actually forgetting about this miserable piece of shit.
Thanks, Slashdot. \:
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Oh great... (Score:5, Insightful)
Probably would have succeeded if it had been released during the Windows 3 years. Believe it or not, I think BOB was superior to that piece'o'crap.
Then again, what wasn't better than Windows 3? MacOS System 6/7 or Amiga Workbench were both better. Hell even Commodore=64's GEOS was better.
"I minimized my Word doc, and now I can't find it. Where'd it go?" - "It's behind the program manager." - "Grrrr."
unix gurus in hell (Score:3)
Re: (Score:2)
It WAS released during the (very end of) the Windows 3.1 years.
Windows 95 came out in August, 1995.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
No, but you might remember that OS/2 was only half of an operating system.
Re:Oh great... (Score:5, Insightful)
How long must keep bringing up such a miserable piece of junk and humiliating Microsoft?
Forever. And often. They need some humility.
We should do the same for other companies -- Apple needs some humility, too.
Re: (Score:2)
I still have both of my copies. One I turned into a clock. That face with glasses was perfect for a clock face. The other, I'm not sure where it is.....probably in a box somewhere.
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Or Malinda, who used it as part of a successful step in sleep her way to being one of the richest people in the world?
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
To be fair though, I would say that more marriages than not start out with trying to get laid, and then move beyond that. That includes the 16 year marriage.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
The guilty programmer (Score:2)
It was coded by Melinda Gates....name sound familiar to anybody out there???
Re: (Score:2)
To each their own.
Re: (Score:2)
ORLY?
http://www.barnsdle.demon.co.uk/spell/mini.html [demon.co.uk]
Re:Oh great... (Score:5, Insightful)
It looks like you're trying to get a first post. Would you like me to:
* Help you with a template
* Waste your time so you fail it
* Just bugger off
Bob Who? (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
I didn't know about Bob until a few years ago, and I was around during the Windows 3 days. However, I was a wee lad at the time, and my family never had the latest and greatest, so we ended up skipping straight to 95/98 after Win 3.1.
Most of my problems involved cursing Compaq (those computers were shit, but cheap) and trying not to get caught downloading internet porn over a 33.6k modem. Net Nanny was super easy to get around, CyberSitter was much tougher.
Ah goodness, the days when a 50mb game demo would
Hey (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Hey (Score:5, Insightful)
Well, that pretty much sums it up. You enjoyed it as a kid. Trouble is, it was marked to adults.
Re:Hey (Score:5, Insightful)
I have several adult users who would have loved to have Microsoft Bob. As it was, there was very cranky people well I changed to Office 2007 and they lost their Paperclips or Kitty Cat or whatever the heck they had. These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants, loan officers, and other people who like a touchy-feely PC.
The problem is not that Microsoft Bob was marketed to adults, but rather it is IT guys who buy software for organizations. A PC is a tool and like all tools, works best with the fewest necessary peripheries. IT guys recognize this. They have no use for Bob and they feel (perhaps rightly) that their users should have no use for Bob and Bob like programs bring no real value.
Re:Hey (Score:5, Funny)
These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants
You and I have wildly diverging opinions of accountants...
Re: (Score:2)
These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants
You and I have wildly diverging opinions of accountants...
If that's the case, where do you classify HR workers?
Re: (Score:2)
These cranky people are not knuckleheads, but rather accountants
You and I have wildly diverging opinions of accountants...
If that's the case, where do you classify HR workers?
Accountants of humans are more despicable than regular accountants because they inflict their accounting on a "personnel" level ;-)
Re: (Score:2)
If that's the case, where do you classify HR workers?
I've never met one that wasn't a moron. Some were nice, most were in the 'think they're all powerful, but don't know how to check email' group of morons. They always need a week of training to do a search in Peoplesoft. They always needed 2 hours of voicemail training, the idiot sheet, and would still call on how to change their outgoing message. They always needed written & verbal instructions (twice) on how to do a save as to rtf so that those without Word could open their files.
Morons.
Re: (Score:2)
>> We didn't send you the CV of the ex NASA lunar lander rocket designer because he didn't have word and excel on his CV. You need a technical profile right? So let me do my job and call this guy who sold his bakery six month ago but he has made his own website and the shape of his C and D indicate that he's a strong team player.
Re: (Score:2)
A PC is a tool and like all tools, works best with the fewest necessary peripheries. IT guys recognize this. They have no use for Bob and they feel (perhaps rightly) that their users should have no use for Bob and Bob like programs bring no real value.
A tool works best when it is designed for its users.
The user who found value in BOB or Clippy was not the geek in IT - and not the poster to Slashdot.
He won't be attracted to the GIMP by its name or its GUI - whatever horsepower is to found underneath.
But he
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Looking at the screenshots, I think there were some fairly cool ideas in Bob which the industry could learn from. Like many MS products thought I can say "Great ideas! Terrible Implementations!"
I particularly like the way it seems to have been designed to mimic paper-and-pen methods for doing things. Even if the approach was childish and gimicky, it looks like some of the basic UI decisions were in the right direction, if implemented badly.
Re: (Score:2)
Just to note: That was to describe some of the apps. Navigating around the system seems poorly thought out....
Re: (Score:2)
It looks like you're trying to write an English-language forum post. Would you like me to:
* Change "marked" to "marketed"?
* Change "For all intensive purposes" to "For all intents and purposes"?
Re: (Score:2)
The former. Neither spellcheck nor my hasty eyes would catch "marked" since it's a perfectly cromulent word. I plainly meant "marketed".
This leads to the question, "Does Clippy really know everything about grammar?".
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Yeah, Bob was pretty cool when I was a child. I used to spend hours arranging things in imaginary rooms.
Now I code.
it failed because it's bullshit technology (Score:3, Insightful)
Bullshit technology is defined as tech that appears to be doing something useful but you end up wasting more time with it than you'd ever save.
BOB is bullshit technology. Voice recognition for the longest time has been bullshit. It's rapidly becoming more useful. Blackberries and the like for business needs can be useful but often becomes bullshit technology when people use them ineffectively.
Re:it failed because it's bullshit technology (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Searching around I found Apple's Cyberdog [newlaunches.com] a web browser with a similar (but not nearly so pervasive) interface.
For once I'm grateful for the "extinguish" part of Microsoft's philosophy.
Re: (Score:2)
If I recall correctly, Cyberdog could have been what firefox became. A basic browser with a rich plugin base. Unfortunately, it came at Apple's nadir and no one built any plugins besides Apple.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Well, that depends on how you define useful. Just because you don't find something to be useful doesn't mean somebody else won't.
No. Sometimes (such as is the case with Bob), use can be objective.
As an example, Bob allowed you to protect your valuable files by requiring a user to type a login password.
But being as it was supposed to be helpful and user-friendly, when logging in, if you typed the password incorrectly three times it assumed you had forgotten it and helpfully offered to change it for you.
After Bob was cloned (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
he (they) went on to a great career as a downsizing consultants. If you ever hear about a "meeting with the Bobs", better get your resume ready.
Pffttt...
After Meeting the bob's I got a promotion!
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
he (they) went on to a great career as a downsizing consultants. If you ever hear about a "meeting with the Bobs", better get your resume ready.
Although in this case, the project manager of Bob was Melinda French--now known as Mrs. Bill Gates.
My Mom Liked Clippy (Score:4, Insightful)
Back then the average user was (I suspect) more technically knowledgeable - the PC as appliance wasn't entrenched. So everybody felt a little insulted when Clippy stuck his nose in their work.
So yes, my mom liked Clippy. If you actually needed his help he was reasonably helpful.
Re:My Mom Liked Clippy (Score:4, Insightful)
I agree that it was ahead of it's time.
If you could replace Clippy with Hatsume Miku, Japanese sales of Office would go through the roof.
Re:My Mom Liked Clippy (Score:4, Insightful)
I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early.
It looks like you're trying to do some work, would you like me to interrupt?
I had a college friend who called me in a panic once, she had a paper due the following day and Clippy had popped up and WOULD NOT GO AWAY. It completely prevented her from continuing with her work. I drove there, and found the option to get rid of that monstrosity buried in some deep menu so she could continue after that wasted hour... Clippy should have been the focus of a class-action lawsuit that would have put MS out of business as a warning to others, if there was any justice in the world.
Re:My Mom Liked Clippy (Score:5, Informative)
I had a college friend who called me in a panic once, she had a paper due the following day and Clippy had popped up and WOULD NOT GO AWAY.
I have to say I find that unlikely considering that the Office assistant does not steal focus away from the program you're using and that moving it out of the way is as difficult as clicking and dragging it to the side of the screen. And the deep, secret menu to get rid of it? Right click and choose "Hide".
Every time this topic comes up, it seems like the people most vehemently against Clippy and MS BOB were the people who never actually even saw or used them. They just see that it's fashionable to hate them and jump on board.
Re: (Score:2)
I had a college friend who called me in a panic once, she had a paper due the following day and Clippy had popped up and WOULD NOT GO AWAY.
I have to say I find that unlikely considering that the Office assistant does not steal focus away from the program you're using and that moving it out of the way is as difficult as clicking and dragging it to the side of the screen.
Couldn't type anymore, Clippy demanded something, I forget the details, but just closing him didn't work: as soon as you tried to type again he'd pop back up. I had to go find the way to permanently disable him somewhere.
Trivial for us, workstopper for art chicks. And that's the rub: while it just annoyed us, he was meant to help those less savvy users but they were severely inconvenienced by it.
[rant]All software needs a "leave me the fuck alone" button to disable all the "helpful" features, like auto comp
Re: (Score:2)
ah! the highlighting thing.. Why would any programmer do that? Autocompletion does not bother me when it doesn't cause delay or interpret a tab/space/return as a selection. Also windows needs built-in focus on mouseover.. i shouldn't have to click on a window first before using it.. i'm looking at you, Excel. Makes using dual monitors less useful.
Re: (Score:2)
Why would any programmer do that?
Because most of the time, when people start selecting a word, they want to select the whole word.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Nice made up story
100% true and accurate. She had green eyes, too... *sigh*
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
I'm pretty sure people would hate Clippy just as much now. Microsoft and just about everyone else misdiagnosed the "Clippy Problem"--the problem wasn't the format (a little animated character) or what they were trying to do (wizards) it was that the software seemed to make its guesses about what you were doing completely at random and then inserted itself in the most annoying way possible. We wouldn't have minded an animated charater/wizard as long as it wasn't popping up like a Vibrant add shouting "I thin
Re: (Score:2)
Oh boy that movie was just about as much fun as Clippy was.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early. If the little fellow was around today he wouldn't get nearly as much abuse. People are more used to the wizard idea now, and to being guided through tasks.
Back then the average user was (I suspect) more technically knowledgeable - the PC as appliance wasn't entrenched. So everybody felt a little insulted when Clippy stuck his nose in their work.
They're still not getting this stuff right. Last week I had to help someone from another department with a mail merge. Office 2007, oh joy. Now there's the usual problems with the wizard not seeing the data source from excel because it doesn't like characters used to name the worksheet or it wants/doesn't want to see a named range, that kind of thing. But the problem here is that the addresses wouldn't line up right in Word. The problem was that Word wanted the address in an invisible text box and it defaul
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Unfortunately, modern cars seem to make these conditions mutually exclusive. They are designed for people who have no common sense, and discourage its use.
In the days when we had to double-declutch through every gear and make allowances for iffy brakes or steering, no-one had any expectation that talking on the phone while playing a bouzouki were c
Re: (Score:2)
Actually. I always like clippy. It sure beat going through the pointless windows help file.
Rather, clippy was there and I could type in whatever I wanted and he would point me to the right part of the help.
But yes, the fact that clippy could interrupt you was a problem. Clippy could see the future, he could have learned a lot from Google.
Google provides a simple natural language text box search (as clippy did), but Google largely stays out of your way... it offers suggestions without being in your face.
Y
Re: (Score:2)
I think the problem with Clippy was that he was ten years too early.
Nah, the problem was that it was not very helpful, though it was intrusive.
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
The problem, if you ask me, was that the average PC was too slow at the time so the computer would almost freeze for several seconds and perhaps even swap parts of Office to disk. The frustration of this happening whenever "It looks like you're writing a letter" of course made most ppl hat
Re: (Score:2)
Definitely one of my favorite computer program parody cartoons ever (Though, I'm not sure how many there really are)
Don't Forget Melinda Gates... (Score:5, Funny)
How did she meet Bill?
She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...
Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... (Score:5, Funny)
How did she meet Bill?
She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...
Bill: Well hello there, how'd you like to manage my unit? *strikes pose [gizmodo.com]*
Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... (Score:5, Informative)
How did she meet Bill?
She was Unit Manager for Microsoft Bob...
This isn't correct. MS Bob was released in 1995; Bill and Melinda met in 1987. She'd just joined Microsoft and was a programmer -- and by all accounts, a pretty good one at that. Plus, she's pretty hot, and she was 23 that year. Wouldn't you scoop up a girl like that, especially back then when women were still really rare in the field?
Re: (Score:2)
"Wouldn't you scoop up a girl like that, especially back then when women were still really rare in the field?"
Women are actually more rare in the field now than then. From Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_computing [wikipedia.org]
In the United States, the number of women represented in engineering and information technology peaked in the late 1980s. Since then, the percentage of women in the computing profession declined from 35.2% in 1990 to 28.4% in 2000.[1] Particularly in computer science, there has been a dramatic drop in women earning bachelor's degrees. A report from the Computing Research Association indicated that the number recently fell below 20%, from nearly 40% in the mid 80s.[2] A similar situation is observed in Canada, where the declination of women in computer science is apparent.
Re:Don't Forget Melinda Gates... (Score:4, Funny)
Hi there, I see you are making a pass at a girl half your age. Would you like:
* some helpful pickup lines 'cause, you know, you've been failing miserably up to now.
* a butt lift so she won't have premonitions of your commercial with Jerry Seinfeld.
* a personality adjustment so you don't act like a geek with a developmental disability.
Microsoft Bob? (Score:5, Funny)
Is he any relation to Baghdad Bob?
Baghdad Bob: "No, there are no allied tanks rolling through Baghdad."
*background shows tanks rolling through Baghdad*
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Really, that would have been awesome. (:
Not everyone suffered (Score:2)
Half-Life of Bob (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
MS Bob and Windows NT (Score:2)
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
If you have Windows XP, you got a copy of Bob (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Run a search on Bing
It's always good to have a genuinely laughter-inducing moment before the end of the day. Thanks for this.
Re:If you have Windows XP, you got a copy of Bob (Score:4, Informative)
Died before its day... (Score:2)
Actually this product was focused on a market segment (children) who don't generally buy computers in the first place. While many of them may be quick to pul
You shall not pass! (Score:2)
Don't you mean 14 years AFTER Microsoft Bob (Score:3, Insightful)
Since it only lasted a year on the market and quickly fell into disuse, I do not see how we've had 15 years of Bob.
Instead, we've seen user interfaces and platforms change quite a bit in that time.
Re: (Score:2)
Since it only lasted a year on the market and quickly fell into disuse, I do not see how we've had 15 years of Bob.
Instead, we've seen user interfaces and platforms change quite a bit in that time.
Not 15 years of Bob, 15 years of the specter/memory/nightmare of Bob, that something so bad could ever have been taken seriously. These days when you design software, Bob is still seen as the lowest common denominator, the level below which no application can strive to attain, or not strive, as the case may be.
Re: (Score:2)
It's level the average Web designer reaches effortlessly.
Clippy love (Score:3, Funny)
One day too early (Score:2)
Why didn't publish it on the first of April ?
I'm pretty sure it would have been a success !
RAM (Score:2)
IIRC, it required something like 8M RAM at a time when 4 was considered generous. Only power-users had that much RAM, and MS admitted that BoB wasn't for power-users.
All you need to know about BOB... (Score:3, Interesting)
Enjoy the licking flames of Hell, Robert.
"BOB" at the Las Vegas airport (Score:3, Funny)
I used to work a lot of trade shows. Comdex, CES, early multimedia trade shows.
I attended the shows where Microsoft Bob was announced. The hype was amazing. Taxi had signs. The daily magazines they hand out had adverts.
The funniest bit of promotion: Microsoft hired a limo driver, or at least a guy in a limo driver costume, to wander around the arrival concourse at McCarren. He was holding a big sign with "BOB" written on it.
As in, Bob was arriving at CES (or whatever show that was)!
Of course, as a Pope in the Church of the SubGenius, I knew the greatness of "Bob" all along.
What happened to Einstein? (Score:2, Interesting)
What happened to the Einstein helper?
I loved that character. It was cute and tried to act intelligent. It was useful, and provided some animated relief humor to amuse my train of thought during long hours of working on Word documents or Excel spreadsheets.
Thanks for reminding me... (Score:2)
I still have the Microsoft Bob CD somewhere. If I get around to looking for it, I hope I can find it. I think it even came with stickers.
Why 'Bob'? (Score:3)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Using a puppy to find files (Score:2, Funny)
It makes me feel so professional when an animated puppy helps me find files.
Who does there branding? Mr. Rogers?
Bob, eh? (Score:2)
evil bob (Score:2)
Bob, clippy, and any other gadget that imposes its will upon you by default is a bad idea. People hate being told what to do, especially when something grabs UI focus from you and makes a non-modal process a modal one. Rule No. 1 of UI design is let the user focus on the task. Distracting the user... what were they thinking? I have years of pent up Clippy hatred because my Office technology is stuck at 97 and 2000 (by choice.) First thing I always get to do is try and recall how to turn them off. BOB
Re: (Score:2)
>>>no other reason are given to why it failed.
Bad timing. BOB might have worked if it had not been overshadowed by Windows 95's mac-like interface (with finder, trashcan, and all). Win95 was so close to perfect as an interface, that even now we still use it's Start menu paradigm.
BOB didn't stand a chance.
Well, there isn't a single reason (Score:2)
Bob failed for a lot of reasons, and they are all briefly addressed in the article which is after all not a book.
Re: (Score:2)
Yeah and then Microsoft, Adobe and everyone else copied it.
I don't see a ton of Bob clones on the market.
100 bucks (Score:2)
and i'll take it off your hands.
I don't think you can get anyone to take it from you if you pay less.