China Using Troop of Trained Monkeys To Guard Air Base 119
samzenpus (5) writes "No, they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones. Instead the small troop of macaques have been trained to guard air bases from birds who often get caught in aircraft engines. Government sources say the monkeys have proven more effective than netting, scarecrows, firecrackers and soldiers with live ammunition in dealing with birds. From the article: 'The macaques are trained to respond to precise whistle commands from their handlers, according to the Chinese military, leaping into action, clambering up trees to destroy nests and scare away birds, according to an account on China's Air Force News Web site on Sunday. The particular air force base employing the monkeys was left unidentified, described simply as being in the Beijing military zone. Base commanders in the account said the monkeys have destroyed more than 180 nests, at a pace of six to eight nests per monkey per day.'"
please, don't call them monkeys (Score:5, Funny)
they are 'evolutionarily challenged', that's all.
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Huh? They've undergone just as much evolution as we have, just in a different path.
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Just call them "Differently evolved"
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In my country, they call them "soldiers", but who am I to judge others...
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In my country we have a relatively small military so most of the monkeys miss out.
As a fall back they become politicians.
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In the USA we make 'em president. Two in a row and counting.
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they are 'evolutionarily challenged', that's all.
I thought that one referred to creationists? Although I can see how these two groups would be easy to mix up.
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Muh cock just killed 17 birds!
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I thought trained monkeys were the military term for post bootcamp recruits?
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Oooook!
Someone has to be first to say... (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Someone has to be first to say... (Score:4, Funny)
personally, I'm tired of Congress.
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I, for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.
Didn't we already get rid of that guy [reactionface.info]?
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At least they're not putting freaking lasers on them.
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at least its not those damn, dirty, apes!!
but but... (Score:5, Funny)
Does this mean the Typing Shakespeare project is on hold?
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Don't worry, there's still an infinite number of monkeys typing Shakespeare even though they took a few for this project.
Birdpocalypse (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Birdpocalypse (Score:5, Funny)
"No soup for you!"
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Sounds like a good idea for a fiction novel, or comic book. Chinese military trains monkeys to destroys nests when they hear a whistle, and rewards them after destruction of said nests. One of these monkeys gets kicked out of its social group, and becomes a vagrant monkey messiah, preaching about the rewards of destroying birds nest when you hear a whistle. Then let's assume there is some bird whose call sounds like a whistle. This bird and the monkeys enter a weird pointless enemy relationship. Eventu
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China once did something similar, and it lead to ecological disaster and mass starvation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F... [wikipedia.org]
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I am surprised they haven't used dogs. It worked well for airports in Florida: http://news.google.com/newspap... [google.com]
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Dogs are not so good at climbing trees to remove nests.
Most Disappointing Sentence in /. History (Score:5, Funny)
"they don't have guns and they don't ride on top of drones"
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This is close.....
http://randomperspective.com/i... [randomperspective.com]
180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? (Score:5, Funny)
You haven't read The Mythical Monkey Month have you?
Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:180 nests gone, at 6 nests/monkey/day? really? (Score:5, Funny)
You forgot that from the total number of monkeys you must subtract those monkeys involved in:
HR
Project Management
Engineering
Catering
Procurement
Once we do this it's clear that the actual number of Monkey's involved far exceeds those quoted. The Chinese are clearly fudging the numbers to make the project appear to be viable.
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The catering monkeys can wear that hat too.
What? (Score:1)
Oh. Okay.
Wait, what?
The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? (Score:4, Funny)
I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.
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It doesn't matter how much poo they've flung in the past - please, they still deserve to be called "Developers".
Re:The same troupe laid off from MS Windows 8? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm curious if this is the same troupe of monkeys that were recently laid off from Microsoft, after they completed Windows 8.
Nah — these are trained monkeys.
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Seriously? Someone Flamebait modded this? Get a sense of humor, or GTFO.
Definitely a new low. (Score:2)
The "headline" such that it is, is offensive. It's surprising that the Slashdot "editors" allowed it. It implies things that are not really happening and and suggests things about the Chinese that are not a reality.
Shame on Slashdot.
Definitely a new low.
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A lot of interesting trained animals where used to try and keep runways clear from crossing critters at all times so the SADF jet/s could counter Soviet suppled jets as warning times where often limited.
Parts where very, very hard to replace or very expensive to tool for if critters where deep in the complex jet engines.
Good radar coverage was difficult, next gen air to air missiles expens
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Yep. [striporama.com]
Lighten up (Score:1)
As I Chinese, I found the post title to be :-
1. Factually accurate
2. Hilarious
3. Quite brilliant actually, since for a wonder it actually fits the main story.
Lighten up.
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Oh, cry us a frickin' river. Just because something could be read into it doesn't mean that it was meant to be that way. And those who take offense when it wasn't intended need to put on some big boy pants and get over it.
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Whatever you are smoking it must be really good shit. Colorado? The headline is factual and is exactly what they are doing. If you're trolling then it's a very weak troll.
a troop? (Score:1)
A troop of monkeys? That would make them Cavalry, implying the monkeys are intended to fight from a mount (horse or vehicle). These monkeys are on foot, and not artillery (a battery), so it should be a company of monkeys.
And if we are talking more like 10 monkeys, lets call it a squad. 30 or so to a platoon.
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sounds like "group" is the generic term you are looking for.
or troupe if they are some kind of traveling entertainment menagerie.
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Nope. Troop is the collective noun for many species of primate and for primates in general. There is some exceptions, like gorillas form bands.
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There is some exceptions, like gorillas form bands.
Especially if they're animated.
can't put my finger on it (Score:3, Funny)
That half-buried Statue of Liberty in the corner back-lot is a bit unsettling for some reason.
What happened to using dogs? (Score:2)
This article summary... (Score:2)
Slashdot has tanked in the last few years, but this is a new low and the anonymous comments...
I think I'm going to take a break from you for a while, Slashdot. *Maybe* I'll come back...
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To be fair, there are a lot of mod-bombers from both the religious nutters and the science fanbois.
I don't get it (Score:2)
Why is China using MSCEs to scare away birds? I can't imagine they'd be very good at tree climbing, surely they're better off running the network or something.
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In related news, the network efficiency at Chinese airbases has increased by 80% after they replaced the MCSEs with a very small shell script.
Pfft (Score:4)
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You mean they actually show up, eventually? That *is* impressive. Comcast should hire some of those monkeys...
Yeah... (Score:2)
Oddly, this was on the local morning radio show today. Seemed like a decent idea. I'd love to see "this airspace is protected by trained monkeys", as it would likely provide more assurances than anything the current security theater could provide, with quantifiable results...
Oh crap! (Score:1)
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It's the clever sheep you want to worry about.
They're doing it on the... (Score:2)
cheap...cheep..chepe..chEep..CHEEEEEP
Well they cant use dogs. (Score:1)
n/t
This isn't all that impressive. (Score:3)
We've had untrained monkeys in the US for President and Vice President for the last 13 years. And they've been used in Congress longer than that.
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solved one problem... (Score:2)
In other news, an increasing number of macaques are being caught in aircraft engines.
Just for the birds (Score:2)
I thought the monkeys were actually helping the guards... like baboons in ancient Egypt were used as K9 patrols are today.
This is a national emergency (Score:1)
On a related topic, I would like to be the first to welcome our new Chinese monkey overlords.
thinking ahead (Score:2)
China is catching up fast! (Score:2)
Security guards today
Business executives and politicians tomorrow
Soon China will be just like the US!
Perhaps Hartlepool was right after all... (Score:2)
Hartlepool a city in Northern England has one claim to fame. During the Napoleonic war they Hung a Monkey [wikipedia.org] washed ashore after a storm because they suspected it was a French Spy.
Perhaps they were actually right after all.
Caesar cometh! (Score:1)
Easy Peasy (Score:2)
Danger 5 would infiltrate this base in less than 20 minutes and have a sexy party in the process.
Nice to see... (Score:2)
...Detroiters get back some of the jobs China stole from them...
Monkeys = good guards (Score:4, Interesting)
Back in 1996 there was a warehouse in Cam Ranh Bay that had large amounts of goods continually disappearing at night. AP patrols with dogs didn't stop the theft, so the K9 guys attack-trained a half dozen monkeys (about 30 lbs each). They would keep the monkeys in a CONEX container and back it up to the entry door in the eveneing, and when they opened the CONEX the monkeys would race into the warehouse. The next morning they would back the empty CONEX to the door and bang on the back wall; the monkeys would then race into the CONEX to get food. From that point on, nothing disappeared from the warehouse at night.
I'm Sorry (Score:2)
And when the birds are all gone... (Score:2)