Nike Bricks Its Shoes With a Faulty Firmware Update (arstechnica.com) 187
AmiMoJo writes: Nike users are experiencing some technical difficulties in the wild world of connected footwear. Nike's $350 "Adapt BB" sneakers are the latest in the company's line of self-lacing shoes, and they come with the "Nike Adapt" app for Android and iOS. The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left. The only problem: Nike's Android app doesn't work. Android users report that their new kicks aren't paring with the app properly, and some customers report failed firmware updates for the shoes, which render them unable to pair with the app at all. "My left shoe won't even reboot." writes one owner.
So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
https://i.imgur.com/2CFWiIM.mp... [imgur.com]
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
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Have to say... Your sig.. Man it is annoying to hear plebs say "forward" slash. Or when people say backslash and they are talking about a normal slash.. Sucks being a nerd sometimes..
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Slash, gees you seppos are crude https://www.urbandictionary.co... [urbandictionary.com] as for forward and backward slash, well, the mind boggles.
I have heard of concrete shoes https://www.urbandictionary.co... [urbandictionary.com] but brick ones, surely you feet would burn off first ?!?
Language Nike used to shoot itself in the foot? (Score:2)
One must ask "What language did Nike use to program shooting itself in the foot?"
Another obligatory reference: http://www.toodarkpark.org/com... [toodarkpark.org]
(It's a fairly comprehensive list of languages, even including some of the young whippersnappers like Python.)
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Have to say... Your sig.. Man it is annoying to hear plebs say "forward" slash. Or when people say backslash and they are talking about a normal slash.. Sucks being a nerd sometimes..
I suppose they don't fully comprehend us humans' perception of a line leaning forward (right) and backward (left) on a 2D plane, which is pretty sad. You don't have to be smart - you just have to be, well, human. It's wired into our way of thinking. I as well can't think of how many times I've heard someone read a URL and call them backslashes.
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Most conventions do that on their 1D space. Reading order is L2R, so that alone defaults the lean's not-so-arbitrary name as "forward", but number lines (cartesian planes, etc) tend to grow L2R, and video games (esp platformers) are almost purely L2R=forward preference.
Human DNA evolved to favor right-handed development, so L2R writing is favored (trails output script, i.e. no smudging)
Since I'm four replies deep in nerds bullshitting about dumb nerd stuff, let's mention that handedness theory is mostly bas
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dafuq you got from slashes to abortion? How high are you?
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Unless, of course, you're Israeli, or an Arab, or Chinese...
Re:So it has come to this (Score:4, Insightful)
Definition (Score:5, Funny)
My left shoe won't even reboot...
Well there's your problem, you should try to re-shoe.
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Funny mods don't help Karma, and it's a funny quip. Deal with your jealousy some other way, please....
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
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An infinite loop is probably better than endless recursion. Autocannibalism rarely ends well.
By the way, stuck in circles is about how 2/3 of battle-bot tournaments end.
Re: So it has come to this (Score:2)
No but Vladimir Putin https://www.youtube.com/playli... [slashdot.org]"> wearing them?!!
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My left shoe won't even reboot...
At least database merge succeeded on the right shoe. A not so small miracle.
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You gotta make sure your Oracle license fees are paid, before you go for a run. Also, it is REALLY difficult to get that left shoe off.
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The right shoe is using MySQL, the left shoe is using Oracle.
You gotta make sure your Oracle license fees are paid, before you go for a run. Also, it is REALLY difficult to get that left shoe off.
And when you try to install Maria on the right shoe, it wants to install Oracle instead.
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I think that the left shoe goes into "foot strangulation" mode if you forget to renew your license after a month. You'll have to amputate your foot to get it off if you don't renew at that point.
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
My left shoe won't even reboot...
So I guess if it won't reboot, then it must be dead. Don't be too upset though, it is probably in heaven. It turns out shoes have soles.
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
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Virtual +1 Funny.
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So I guess if it won't reboot, then it must be dead
Not dead. Bricked..
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Yea, just cut the sole open to get to the JTAG header and flash it. O.o Good as new!
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I wonder who the sole heir is.
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My left shoe won't even reboot...
I've been waiting all my life to say that.
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
My left shoe won't even reboot...
Normally I'm rather dismissive of the smart-asses who try and dismiss this as "First World Problems", but fuck me if that doesn't fit like a fucking glove...
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The gloves are bricked too....
High school headlines next year, Nerd's revenge, entire football team hacked and pantsed at the same time.
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but fuck me if that doesn't fit like a fucking glove...
Sneaker. Fits like a good sneaker. And you're not wrong.
Re:So it has come to this (Score:5, Funny)
Have you tried taking it off an' putting it on again?
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lol
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You also have to be careful not to cut your JTAG off your new pillows and mattress or you might not be able to update their fluffiness properly...
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This would be funny if it weren't true. No wait. It is funny. Not even the most highly LSD fueled scifi writer in the 70s could have predicted this outcome for humanity.
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My left shoe won't even reboot...
You're in the wrong runlevel.
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Firmware... for SHOES? (Score:4, Insightful)
One more thing on the list of Things That Should Not Have Software.
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Yeah...color me old fashioned, and a fuddy-duddy....
But I'm leaning towards keeping my footwear (and clothing) purely analog, and manual.
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IIRC the power lacing Nikes were developed with input from Michael J Fox, who obviously has trouble tying shoes. I remember the release of the Nike Air Mags from Back to the Future had all the profits going to a Parkinsons research charity. They were making a big deal about accessibility for the disabled... I'm guessing a nice phone app with big buttons would be preferred for adjustments than some tiny buttons somewhere on the shoes themselves.
So yeah, I think this is a fine idea. But if you buy them and do
Zion Williamson (Score:3)
So is that what happened to Zion Williamson?
https://www.npr.org/2019/02/21... [npr.org] ...And then a mere 33 seconds into the game, on a routine play, Williamson dribbled near the foul line when his left leg buckled, his left blue-and-white Nike sneaker ripped apart at the seams and he tumbled to the floor, grabbing his right knee in pain....
Not exactly (Score:3)
Not exactly, in this case it wasn't an update, but a firmware bug. They missed some bounds checking or something so they players foot ended up beyond the container (shoe) space.
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his left blue-and-white Nike sneaker ripped apart at the seams and he tumbled to the floor, grabbing his right knee in pain....
Nike just took a knee.
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Because people who spend upwards $350 on non-dress shoes that may or may not be able to lace themselves are paragons of critical thinking and common sense... Being an athlete is irrelevant.
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I'm pretty sure that the sneakers were given to the program by Nike, or at least at a VERY steep discount from Retail. They are Promotional Items for Nike.
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I'm pretty sure that the sneakers were given to the program by Nike, or at least at a VERY steep discount from Retail. They are Promotional Items for Nike.
Probably less so when they explode and cause knee injuries to players.
Well, here we are guys (Score:2)
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Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives.
April fools? (Score:3)
Firmware for shoes... (Score:3)
... WTF has this world come to?
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... WTF has this world come to?
The pinnacle of technological development it would seem.
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Re:Firmware for shoes... (Score:5, Funny)
I tried ad targeting, but the cops arrested me for shooting at billboards.
Shoe Lacing, but not as I have ever known it (Score:2)
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People with more money than sense. You really didn't get that?
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Maybe hes one of the targetees and doesn't yet know.
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Maybe hes one of the targetees and doesn't yet know.
Not at $350, I'm not. I've barely spent $350 on shoes for myself in the past five years, I'm certainly not going to spend that much on one pair. That and I likely don't own a phone new enough to pair with them anyways, so they likely wouldn't be worth anything to me since apparently you cannot tie them yourself.
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"Who is this product really targeting?"
Initially it was the physically disabled.
I'm sorry but this is stupid (Score:2)
Just my 2 cents
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Tracy Kidder should write this one up (Score:5, Funny)
The Sole of a New Machine
Indemnification clause (Score:1)
Should have read the ShEULA. It was in the print.
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Yea, sure, but the footprints are behind you! Besides, everyone walks through the EULA without treading.
Paring? (Score:2)
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Ooooh, that was a cutting remark.
I get fail often, fail fast (Score:2)
but how does one think that a product like a shoe should leave the factory in a state where it would need a firmware update? That seems to be the absolute minimum of release conditions because who would ever want to have to be the tech support on that call?!
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Apparently Nike NEEDS bullet proof shoes since shooting themselves in the foot is clearly a possability.
Landfill (Score:2)
The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left.
Yay! More pointless, poisonous, future landfill.
Message for Nike (Score:3)
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I love the 21st Century (Score:2)
Man, there's always something new and interesting coming up.
F Nike in the A (Score:2, Interesting)
Overpriced shoes
...and now this.
Underpaid workers
Colin Kaepernick, virtue signalling, SJW'ing
Zion Williamson's show blowing up
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I think they mean Nike is using CK to virtue signal, not that CK is virtue signalling.
When it rains it poors (Score:2)
Seems Nike is having software, hardware, and financial problems of late. [cnn.com]
Reality has clearly overtaken satire (Score:5, Insightful)
How's this help my workout? (Score:2)
I've heard of strapping weights to your ankles to get a more intense workout. Do bricked shoes count? Maybe I should run with real bricks.
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Zion Williamson can lose it all scholarship, healt (Score:2)
Zion Williamson can lose it all scholarship, healthcare, future in the nba.
And they don't even need to pay for workers compensation as well.
In Soviet Union Russia (Score:2)
Shoes tie You! [youtube.com]
Let me be among those who say: Hahahahahaha! (Score:2)
Stupid customers buying from stupid company and getting what they deserve. A rare instance of Karma working.
38 days early. (Score:2)
Once again... (Score:2)
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
How things have changed (Score:2)
"My left shoe won't even reboot." (Score:2)
Sounds like something Racter [wikipedia.org] might have come up with.
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The heating system doesn't pair with the app, and it's freezing in here.
I believe this has actually happened.
a country boy will survive (Score:2)
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If so, it doesn't work very well as an ad. What this tells me is that I'd be crazy to consider the product.
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The future is stupid.
The future is NOW!
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Shoe laces of the world, untie!!!
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You cannot tie it. Pretty bad ;-)
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