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Stack Exchange Apologizes, Offers 'Possible Reinstatement' To Moderator Removed Over Pronouns Policy (stackexchange.com) 277

In October the Register reported that 20 Stack Exchange moderators had distanced themselves from the geeky Q&A site to protest policy changes and the removal of moderator Monica Cellio "over alleged violations of as-yet unpublished Code of Conduct changes."

Cellio just posted an update to the GoFundMe page where she'd raised $25,314 for legal action -- a new announcement from Stack Overflow: Stack Overflow and Monica Cellio have come to an agreement. We believe that Ms. Cellio was not acting with malicious intent. We believe she did not understand all of the nuances and full intent and meaning of our Code of Conduct and was confused about what actions it required and forbade.

We acknowledge our responses to her requests for clarification were not satisfactory. The verbiage in our Code of Conduct could have been more explicitly detailed about what was expected. We always valued Ms. Cellio's contributions to the community and respect her intelligence, integrity, and professional writing skills.

While our initial statement did not address her specifically, we regret that we used her name when responding to a reporter's follow-up. We regret any damage to Ms. Cellio's reputation and any other damage she may have suffered.

We have since updated some of our policies and processes to help ensure we are more careful in our public communications, and that there is a clearer process anytime a moderator's status is revoked as well as a process for reinstatement.

We respect Ms. Cellio and believe she is a good person with much to offer and contribute. We sincerely hope she remains an active member of our community. In recognition of the mistakes that led us here, we invited Ms. Cellio to apply for possible reinstatement on all six sites following our new reinstatement process. Ms. Cellio expressed concerns about the new process and has not applied."

That announcement was also published at Meta.StackExchange.com -- where it's been downvoted 886 times.

At GoFundMe, Cellio posted only that "No further donations are needed. Thank you everybody for your support!" And she plans to honor earlier pledges to donate all funds raised in excess of costs to The Trevor Project, "an organization providing crisis-intervention services to LGBTQ+ youth and related resources to everyone."
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Stack Exchange Apologizes, Offers 'Possible Reinstatement' To Moderator Removed Over Pronouns Policy

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  • by DontBeAMoran ( 4843879 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @01:40PM (#59565144)

    Did he/she/it/we-need-to-invent-new-pronouns accept the apology?

    • by AleRunner ( 4556245 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:37PM (#59565256)

      "Ms. Cellio expressed concerns about the new process and has not applied."

      Doesn't really sound like it. And it doesn't sound like she should either. If you are ending up apologising to a person then asking them to follow some arcane procedure with an uncertain outcome doesn't sound appropriate. Even if you can't just re-instate her without community approval for some reason, at least make the request to the community on your behalf for an exception and then make her a clear offer or not depending on the result.

      • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

        I'm pretty sure the reason they can't just reinstate her is her legal action against them. They are now going to stick exactly to the rules and procedures because any deviation will be used as evidence of unfair, different treatment in a court of law.

    • by XopherMV ( 575514 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:55PM (#59565292) Journal
      Does it matter? We have a tiny percentage of people who are delusional about their sex. It's not enough for this tiny population that they dress up and pretend to be the opposite sex. This tiny group wants everyone else to participate in their collective delusion. For example, the words "gender" and "sex" used to be synonymous and used interchangeably. Now, they want us to see these words as completely different and separate. And surprise! Not everyone wants to be forced to go along with this nonsense.

      There's a whole generation of young people who've been convinced by these delusional people into supporting them for whatever reason. This younger generation are getting into positions of power. Now, they're trying to force these delusions on the rest of society. Luckily, most companies don't have these policies because younger people haven't yet gained control of most positions of power. Expect more arguments and legal cases revolving around these issues in the future.

      Finally, there's the bulk of society who don't understand the fuss, don't see any "problem," and don't agree with the conclusions of the younger generation. They don't agree that everyone else needs to adjust for that tiny population of delusional people. No, they're not "phobic." They're not afraid of the transsexual community. They may not have any real problem with the trans community at all outside of this one issue. They just don't want to be ordered by delusional people trying to tell them what to think and say, particularly when it goes against the truth. Dudes aren't ze/zie/zir or whatever bullshit is getting promoted today.
      • by Phasma Felis ( 582975 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @03:24PM (#59565392)
        Everyone involved in this debacle is pro-trans rights. The issue was that one SE moderator incorrectly thought another was not, and SE committed to backing them without understanding the situation.

        I feel like you didn't read the article, you just saw the word "pronoun" and got super triggered.
      • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

        by r_naked ( 150044 )

        Yea -- I don't give a crap what pronoun someone wants me to use. If it is a dude, it is dude, him, he, bro. If it is a chick, it is chick, her, babydoll, sweetheart, honey, doll. If I can't tell the difference / don't know the difference, then they get called what they want to be called.

        Bruce Jenner will always be Bruce to me -- a DUDE. Bradley Manning will always be Bradley -- a DUDE. The fact that they didn't get the mental help that they needed and decided to cut their dicks off is irrelevant to me. If I

        • Bruce Jenner will always be Bruce to me -- a DUDE.

          Out of interest, are you a dick to everyone who changes their name, or only people who do it for reasons you don't approve of?

          • by r_naked ( 150044 )

            Bruce Jenner will always be Bruce to me -- a DUDE.

            Out of interest, are you a dick to everyone who changes their name, or only people who do it for reasons you don't approve of?

            You can call me a dick if you want -- but yea.

            My cousin grew up with the name Delane, but a few years ago she decided to change it to Sharon. This was strictly for the fact that -- well -- Delane is a lame name. When we have family get togethers, I still call her Delane. I am not going to just start calling someone another name because they decided they didn't like the one they were born with -- and went by for years.

            • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

              You can call me a dick if you want

              Ok. You're a dick.

              I am not going to just start calling someone another name because they decided they didn't like the one they were born with -- and went by for years.

              Addressing someone with the name they have asked you to use is just basic politeness and civilized decency.

      • For example, the words "gender" and "sex" used to be synonymous and used interchangeably.

        Well, not quite. Gender used to be a grammatical thing; chairs and tables in many languages have gender but no sex.

        • by dfghjk ( 711126 )

          Not in English. The topic is how the English word "gender" was traditionally used w.r.t. human beings.

          • English is still evolving.

            Ships are often given a female gender.

            "Duck" and "goose" used to mean female, while "drake" and "gander" were used for males, but this distinction has nearly disappeared, so we have names like "Donald Duck" that would have sounded silly a few centuries ago.

            The same thing is happening now with "cow". Since English has no singular form for "cattle", "cow" is often used ungendered. But it still sounds weird to me.

            • And yet, when using the singular form, I know of no situation where it is considered "correct" to refer to a cow as a bull.

            • > The same thing is happening now with "cow".Since English has no singular form for "cattle",

              I believe you will find that this is because most cattle are cows. The males, while larger and prized for breeding and their strength, but only a few are needed for breeding. The cows are much more commonly born, and this serves the cattle ranches well.

          • Oh, it was definitely the case in English as well. Never read an Old English textbook?
        • chairs and tables in many languages have gender but no sex.

          No? Then where do those small chairs keep coming from?

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward

        Does it matter? We have a tiny percentage of people who are delusional about their sex. It's not enough for this tiny population that they dress up and pretend to be the opposite sex.

        Unfortunately, biology is not the simple binary makes things easy for you. Sex is not simply XX or XY. Or XXX, or XXY, or X, or other rarer variants, or chimeric combinations thereof. Sex is not chromosomes at all; they just "usually" set off an initialization cascade - said cascade being neither the start or end of cellula

      • by Somervillain ( 4719341 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @05:37PM (#59565702)
        I'd pose your question back to you. "Does it matter?" I can't relate to Gender Dysphoria. I honestly don't care about them too much. However, how hard is it to call someone who you think is a dude "she?"

        The simple fact is it doesn't mean a thing to me, but it means a lot to them. Really...no one is asking you to agree...no one is asking you to adjust your gender or date transgendered people...just calling them what they want to be called.

        I think it is simple respect to call people what they want to be called. Why is it such an imposition to you? Does it bother you as well to have to call black people African American in polite company instead of the N-word? I wasn't around back then, but I have been told that it wasn't a slur long ago...but it inflicts pain today. So some dude named Bruce decides he wants to be called Caitlyn..who cares? Just call her a she and move on.

        I think it's silly, but really, as a libertarian, I just don't care. It doesn't impact me. It's easy enough to say 'she' and it makes 'her' feel a lot better. So...just call people by their preferred name...life is easier that way.
        • I always use gender neutral pronouns on SE. If that's not good enough, I'm not the one with the problem.
        • by malkavian ( 9512 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @06:16PM (#59565816)

          Gender dysphoria is often not cured by sex change. It's a psychological problem, and very, very real. Extreme cases may need permanent medication, but more often, counselling, and being ill at ease in their bodies is a state of being. The correct course of action is to make the small amount of sufferers as at ease as possible without making their problems everyone's problems. If someone looks like a man, they'll usually be called a man, because that's how we get by day to day in practicalities. When you turn round and say "But I want to be a woman, you must refer to me as she", it sets up cognitive dissonance in most of the people around, so you've magnified the problem by orders of magnitude.

          Yes, it may mean a lot to them. But being called "overlord" or various other things because they have neurological conditions that make them believe they're supreme in some way shape or form (when they're not) is also vitally important to them. And a horde of other things are vitally important to people, like they need to keep away from cognitive dissonance, as it causes them to progress into mentally very unhealthy territories (so you're actually saying that the wellbeing of the vast minority is more important than the wellbeing of the majority). In the social groups they tend to form, the close friends will accept, and be mentally ok with that dissonance. That's as it should be. Forcing people who aren't, and will not be in that friendship group is tyranny.

          African Americans in polite company often refer to themselves by the N-word. However, anyone without a particular skin colour in that same conversation using that same word is then often violently rebuked. That is not equality, that is tyranny. As far as I'm aware, it's always been a derogatory term, but people used to just take it in their stride, as there were more important things to focus on in life. Nowadays, victimhood has been weaponised and retaliation is generally not balanced.
          So, some dude wants to be called Caitlyn, then they change their name to Caitlyn. Not a problem there (same as men have been called Jane and Alice in history; it's always caused a bit of hilarity, but people just got on with it). Now if that same person makes no other change, has a beard and male genitalia and bearing, but insists on being called "She" and "Her", that's where the dissonance begins. Similar to someone insisting that you call a car a fish, and a house an aeroplane. Some people will find it whimsical, some will be ok with it, and some will outright say "That's idiocy and lunacy". If left to their own devices, you'll find that the people will discover small friendly groups that will just get on with life alongside them and play to their strengths while covering or ignoring their idiosyncracies. That's how life is supposed to work. Except now we have a very vocal group who will attack you for daring to say you won't call a car by any name someone doesn't want it called, but they won't tell you who these people are, what items you need to address or anything. Just that you MUST NEVER get it wrong, otherwise you're fair game to be attacked. This is tyrannical in the extreme, which is why it's considered "ultra left ideology".

          • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

            Regarding the n word argument, because this comes up a lot.

            History is what it is. Usually when white people use it they are trying to be offensive. You can say it in the right context, white people do all the time, but history being what it is the default assumption people make is that it's intended to denigrate black people.

            Nothing to do with equality it freedom, it's just the fact that there really aren't many non-offensive reasons for white people to use it that you need to be more careful to provide one

        • So some dude named Bruce decides he wants to be called Caitlyn..who cares? Just call her a she and move on.

          Agree completely. It's like if you meet someone who tells your their name is Robert, but you call them Fred all the time because you think they look more like a Fred. That would be douchey.

          I can't imagine how conflicted these people must be with folks named Kim, Stacy, Robin, Chris, etc. Probably need to go find a safe space.

          • My mother calls me by my uncle and my nephew's name all the time. Should she be expelled from the family for this?

            • My mother sometimes calls me by my late brother's name. I know it's not intentional, she has dementia.

              I consider that a fair excuse, and if others want to use it there is no harm in ostensibly humoring them either.

        • It matters when the reaction for getting it "wrong" is to have someone fired or have their life ruined for noncompliance.

      • by Jarwulf ( 530523 )

        Does it matter? We have a tiny percentage of people who are delusional about their sex. It's not enough for this tiny population that they dress up and pretend to be the opposite sex. This tiny group wants everyone else to participate in their collective delusion. For example, the words "gender" and "sex" used to be synonymous and used interchangeably. Now, they want us to see these words as completely different and separate. And surprise! Not everyone wants to be forced to go along with this nonsense. .

        I agree with most of what you said but you got this backward dude. Gender was long a linguistic thing until the activists started mandating it as a replacement for the word 'sex'. The definition is identical except that gender has a weird addendum that you can flip to whichever gender you want. That way when you question the activists about the biology they can rightfully state that (technically) by definition gender is fluid. Its basically the old biological definition with a 'magic clause'. They sure love

        • That way when you question the activists about the biology they can rightfully state that (technically) by definition gender is fluid. Its basically the old biological definition with a 'magic clause'. They sure love muddling things. For a hoot look up the guy that kicked off this who gender craze and see all the wonderful things he got up to. They don't teach you this in Gender Theory 101.

          I'm guessing you never took Bio 100 or 101.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]

          • by Jarwulf ( 530523 )
            How many 'transgenders' are truly intersexual? You might as well design all gloves for six fingered people.
            • How many 'transgenders' are truly intersexual? You might as well design all gloves for six fingered people.

              I have no idea. However many it is it is enough evidence for me to know it is not as simple as everyone has five fingers.

              I'd like to think we have reached a degree of civilization we can make gloves for people with any number of fingers, while you would apparently consider anything but five freaks.

      • by Z80a ( 971949 )

        People demanding you to accept their wacky new genders are not trans, they're just authoritarian post-modernist twats that found a new way to "victimize" themselves.

      • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

        Your personal opinion of gender dysphoria doesn't matter. What matters is how you treat people.

        Let's say I think you are a bitch. I insist on calling you "good girl" and only refuse to serve you human food, at my restaurant you have to lap water up from a bowl on the floor. I insist your owner picks up your shit in a bag.

        Is it okay to treat you that way? Or should I treat you how you prefer to be identified regardless of what I think you are?

  • by BAReFO0t ( 6240524 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @01:42PM (#59565150)

    There are psychopaths who don't realize they hurt people with how they treat them.
    Doesn't mean it is a good idea to protect oneself from them.

    If somebody is so mentally unstable that one is triggered and flipping out because of ... pronouns ... one is unfit for work a danger to one's surroundings, and needs therapy. No matter how good one's intentions inside one's twisted model of reality are.

    It is not about harming such a twisted person, but about not being harmed BY that person.

    • by malkavian ( 9512 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @01:45PM (#59565154)

      You mean the people who attack everybody by enforcing a pronoun policy, enabling people with subjective assessment to censor everybody around with an objective assessment?

      • by AmiMoJo ( 196126 )

        This has actually been tested on Stack Exchange. Someone suspected the same tyranny that you did.

        There have been a few posts from users stating their pronouns to be things like "master" or "chopper", and they have all been deleted for trolling. Turns out that you can't pick arbitrary pronouns.

    • I meant to write: Doesn't mean it is a good idea to NOT protect oneself from such a person!

      Goddammit, this completely flips the meaning on ity head.

    • by Etcetera ( 14711 )

      Malice does not need intent to be malice

      Hopefully no one takes this as legal advice, because "malice" pretty much completely requires intent to actually be "malice."
      Otherwise it's just negligence.

    • by Kohath ( 38547 )

      "Malice" literally means [lmgtfy.com] "the INTENTion or desire to do evil; ill will".

    • by Zagadka ( 6641 ) <zagadka@noSPAM.xenomachina.com> on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:19PM (#59565224) Homepage

      On the contrary, malice is the intent to do harm. Without intent, there is no malice, only harm.

    • by Brett Buck ( 811747 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:33PM (#59565240)

      Malice is BY DEFINITION *intent*:

      Malice: the intention or desire to do evil; ill will.

              So, someone using a pronoun you don't like does not imply malice. It *does* imply that you are an senstitive flower who assumes that everything you take offense to is intended to cause you harm. Sorry - despite what mommy told you, you are NOT that damn important and no one gives you a second thought, much less go out of their way to harm you

           

  • What the deal is (Score:5, Insightful)

    by SuperKendall ( 25149 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:01PM (#59565194)

    Since the summary was utterly vague, the deal here is that Monica was worried the revised code of conduct would punish people for not using proclaimed personal pronouns for others (treat it as a violation).

    So for that she was banned and had moderation changes taken away...

    Really puts a damper on my like of StackExchange, not because of the policy itself (though I find it questionable) but because people should not be punished for discussion about possible changes to things like code of conduct. That is indeed, ThoughtCrime.

  • by dbrueck ( 1872018 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:05PM (#59565196)

    In the good old pre-CoC days, when somebody was a problem you'd just, you know, deal with them individually. Like talk to them and stuff.

    The codes of conduct seem like a huge distraction and/or nothing more than virtue signaling. But even more than that, they seem completely ineffective. Consider what happens in these 3 scenarios when you don't have a CoC:

    1) Person XYZ is nice --> no action needed
    2) Person XYZ does something jerky --> you take them aside and say, "hey, don't do that" and they stop doing it --> no further action needed
    3) Person XYZ does something jerky and even after talking to them they refuse to be nice and usually act worse --> they get banned

    The addition of a CoC results in the same outcome in each scenario. There's not a lot of overlap between the group of people that are jerks online and the group of people that will read and take to heart a CoC.

    You can't enumerate all of the ways people can be mean or inappropriate, so you instead wind up with a list of vague no-no's that are completely subjective (one person will find something mildly annoying, another person will experience the same thing and be convinced that they have suffered literal harm).

    • by SuperKendall ( 25149 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:11PM (#59565210)

      The addition of a CoC results in the same outcome in each scenario.

      I'm not sure it does though, because having a ton of rules means people can now argue they didn't violate the rules, whereas without a COC you could have simply, as you said, just said they were being a jerk and they would have nothing to say about it except they disagreed.

      The more rules you make, the more unreasonable and immoral people will take advantage of those rules to hurt others and escape punishment. You are Gamifying harassment.

      • by Solandri ( 704621 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @08:15PM (#59566076)
        This. Way back when Ultima Online was first starting, it had a PK problem. A player friend of mine suggested a reputation system (game assigns temporary criminal flags if you do something "bad", PKing criminal flagged people is OK and you gain reputation for it. You lose reputation for PKing non-flagged people). The game devs decided to try it, and he asked me to work with them to help test it.

        I naively thought that because everything was happening in a computer, the rules would be ironclad and airtight with no way to bypass them, so it would be perfect. The problems began to show up in play testing. A good example was the firewall spell. If you were a PKer, you could use the firewall spell to kill an innocent. OTOH, you could cast it to kill a monster (or crimina), and an innocent could run into your firewall, thus flagging you as a criminal, and would lose reputation if you defended yourself when they attacked you. The same action, but two opposite results depending on the intent of the parties involved.

        After reasoning through enough of these scenarios, I came to the realization that you cannot always determine guilt or innocence based solely on actions. There are situations where guilt or innocence can only be distinguished by ascertaining the intent of the actor. Unfortunately, to truly determine intent you need to be a mind reader, which is (currently) impossible. That's why we have courts, judges, and juries. They listen to what occurred, weigh the evidence, and try their best to determine the intent of the accused.

        In the same way, a CoC (a fixed set of rules governing behavior) won't solve your problems. There will always be loopholes, ways a malicious actor can exploit the CoC to harm innocents. The system needs to have a person(s) acting as judges - evaluating people's actions to determine guilt or innocence, not a mere CoC. This is also the same problem with political correctness. It determines guilt based solely on actions, not on whether the person intended the action to be harmful. That's why you have someone fired [washingtonpost.com] based solely on what he said, not based on whether he actually intended to say it. Political correctness is inherently unstable. The more successful it becomes, the more people who won't know that a word is a slur (I didn't know 'coon' was considered a racial slur until the newscaster incident). And as knowledge of that word being a slur passes out of general knowledge, more innocent people will be punished by the PC crowd for violating a rule which they didn't even know exists.
      • by sjames ( 1099 )

        Meanwhile, people who had no ill intent will find themselves technically in violation of one of the rules and since there are no exceptions offered, out they go.

    • Oh, it does make sense, just not the sort you might think. It's there to let them signal which political side they're on. In fact, the less sense these actions make, the better, because the signal will be stronger. No one else will do something nonsensical by accident, at least for the most part.

      The words "virtue signal" get thrown around a lot, some use it to point out that the actions are not necessarily sincere or sensible, but the primary function thereof is simply to declare what side one is on publ

  • by New Account 34 ( 6490494 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:05PM (#59565200)
    That's not an apology.
  • by bobstreo ( 1320787 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @02:10PM (#59565206)

    reversed, as soon as someone accrues $25K to pay legal fees...

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Kohath ( 38547 )

      Except in this case it didn't get reversed. They invited the wronged individual to fill out paperwork to ask for it to be partly reversed.

  • I'm just going to start being rude to everyone equally and call them "hey you!"
  • We respect Ms. Cellio and believe she is a good person with much to offer and contribute.

    This will soon be capitalised as Good Person. If you are deemed to be not a Good Person enough times, you shall be an Unperson.

  • The real issue (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Toonol ( 1057698 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @04:20PM (#59565518)
    The actual problem was not that Stack Exchange fired Monica as mod; that was stupid and unprofessional, but within their rights.

    The problem was that shortly afterward, the Register ran a story about the issue, and Stack Exchange offered a comment where they said, paraphrasing, "we stand behind firing Ms Cellio, because she was intolerant towards transgenders."

    This was a lie, and was republished in the Register. That's what prompted the lawsuit. The worst behavior Monica exhibited was saying that she didn't like using 'they' as a singular pronoun, and preferred phrasing comments in a gender-neutral way to avoid using a pronoun that could imply the wrong gender.

    That Register article could haunt Monica for years. Being publicly accused of bigotry by a corporation, being fired, and having those accusations printed in a major news site? It doesn't matter that you could do a little research and find out they were without merit. This is what defamation lawsuits are _for_.

    At least, now, she can point to their official apology... and hopefully, the various news sources covering their apology.
  • by Baleet ( 4705757 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @04:30PM (#59565544)

    We respect Ms. Cellio and believe she is a good person...

    So if someone doesn't agree with you or share your beliefs, they aren't a "good person"? Not to mention, the idea of a "good person" is irrational to the point of childishness. Are these supposed to be adults?

  • They didn't apologize for anything.

  • Following through the various listed articles, they have no pointer to or detail of the alleged offense, or whether Monica Cellio did anything at all inappropriate to anyone. I'm afraid this is common to various gender politics today. Facts are ignored in favor of the personal emotions about the situation, with little reference to facts or behavior. Fortunately, there are other articles, like this article from The Register: https://www.theregister.co.uk/... [theregister.co.uk] I've been impressed by The Register's ability to r

  • I'm not sure how forcing others to use language not of their choosing under threat of cancel culture is supposed to be embracing tolerance. I could care less what choices someone else wants to make (a 20+ year good friend of mine is trans and has been since long before it was politically acceptable) for themselves. I've also had a trans roommate I welcomed into my home when her own mother kicked her out after she came out of the closet. I rented a room out to a Hispanic lesbian for a number of years who was

  • by AHuxley ( 892839 ) on Saturday December 28, 2019 @11:57PM (#59566450) Journal
    Find a new company, project, hobby, computer activity after work.

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