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Translation From VC-Backed PR Jargon To English of Magic Leap CEO Rony Abovitz's Statement That He's 'Stepping Down' (daringfireball.net) 32

From a company-wide memo sent by Rony Abovitz, the founder of Magic Leap, which has raised nearly $3 billion from high-profile investors including Andreessen Horowitz, Google, AT&T, NTT DoCoMo, Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia, JP Morgan, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers: As we've shared over the last several weeks, in order to set Magic Leap on a course for success, we have pivoted to focus on delivering a spatial computing platform for enterprise. Technology columnist John Gruber, translates: As nearly everyone has finally realized, our actual technology is nothing at all like what we promised, lied about for years, and sold gullible deep-pocketed investors on. Our con is falling apart at the seams, so we'll milk the last few dollars out of the only investors dumb enough to give us even more money, by repeating the word "enterprise" and doing that thing with our fingers like Obi-Wan Kenobi. Magic Leap's memo adds: We have closed significant new funding and have very positive momentum towards closing key strategic enterprise partnerships. Gruber, continues translation: You're not going to believe this but we somehow raised another $350 million. I know, right? Magic Leap: As the board and I planned the changes we made and what Magic Leap needs for this next focused phase, it became clear to us that a change in my role was a natural next step. Gruber: Everyone agrees the jig is up. Magic Leap: I discussed this with the board and we have agreed that now is the time to bring in a new CEO who can help us to commercialize our focused plan for spatial computing in enterprise. We have been actively recruiting candidates for this role and I look forward to sharing more soon. Gruber: Our Craigslist ad: "Florida company seeks Bernie Madoff type." Magic Leap: I have been leading Magic Leap since 2011 (starting in my garage). We have created a new field. A new medium. And together we have defined the future of computing. Gruber: No one will remember us or anything we've doneâ--âunless Netflix makes one of those documentaries like the Fyre Festival one. I love that movie. Which makes me think maybe we should change our Craigslist ad to "Billy McFarland type." Actually, when does he get out of prison?
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Translation From VC-Backed PR Jargon To English of Magic Leap CEO Rony Abovitz's Statement That He's 'Stepping Down'

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  • what?? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 29, 2020 @11:20AM (#60120846)
    how the hell does this trash make it to the front page??
    • by mydn ( 195771 )
      The story itself might deserve a /. mention, but the summary is one of the worst I've seen.
    • by _merlin ( 160982 )

      Yeah, since the release of the iPhone, John Gruber has basically been an Apple shill. He doesn't understand that most people have to use computers for more than writing opinions on a blog. I don't know why anyone pays attention to him any more.

    • by Toad-san ( 64810 )

      I think it's funnier than hell, really :-)

    • Yeah, how dare that guy show up Magic Leap as a bunch of con artists?
  • by jellomizer ( 103300 ) on Friday May 29, 2020 @11:29AM (#60120870)

    Does anyone who got fired said it was because they Sucked at their job.

    Back in 2008 I got laid off from my job. I didn't say the reason was because I was the more expendable than the other employees, however that was the truth, as the other employees have been working for the company longer, and they had laid off all the new employees they had hired in the past year, as they had the least amount of experience and are still learning the ropes.

    • Does anyone who got fired said it was because they Sucked at their job.

      The British have the term "Gardening Leave" [wikipedia.org] if you really screw up.

      In America, if your being forced out, then the reason is to "spend time with family". Spending time with family is such an excuse in business and political circles, that if you actually quit to spend time with your family, a bunch of surrogates go around saying "he has xxx and really needs to be with family", where xxx is young kids, ill family member, etc.

  • by presidenteloco ( 659168 ) on Friday May 29, 2020 @01:40PM (#60121518)
    Eventually, AR will be commonplace and important (kind of like nuclear fusion power will be.)

    There are a lot of deep technical challenges in the development of reliable and effective versions of both.

    In both cases, it will probably be the second or third generation of company that tries it that succeeds commercially with a viable, cost-effective product.

    The VC world is brutal to long-term plays like these.

    Probably should have been kept in university labs for quite a while longer.

    I guess it will be a while before we can start ignoring the elephant in the room.
    • by gawbl ( 941021 )
      Will we get commonplace AR before, or after, the Year of the Linux Desktop?
    • by rtb61 ( 674572 )

      This is exactly what you get when you steal other people's ideas and claim them as you own with no understanding of them. They all deserved to loose and the solution, well, they will never get it because they are all just liars, cheats and thieves and not creative inventors beyond inventing lies to gain wealth.

...though his invention worked superbly -- his theory was a crock of sewage from beginning to end. -- Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"

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