Take the Y2K Pledge

In the wake of NBC's profoundly stupid, panic-inducing "Y2K" movie, here's a chance to take a rational stand on the eve of the 21st century and take a sane Y2K pledge. Feel free to offer personal upgrades. (more)

NBC's profoundly stupid and irresponsible panic TV movie "Y2K," which aired a few Sundays ago, capped severeal years of mind-numbingly inaccurate information about software and the Year 2000.

The notion that Y2K will crash planes, wipe out banking information, shut down utilities and deprive families of access to cash, food and vital life support services like heat and telephones is a scandal, a media induced hysteria that will one day be regarded right up there with the panic following the broadcast of Orson Welles' "War Of The Worlds."

In airing its witless movie, NBC has spread a considerable amount of freash unease. This week, virtually every major Wall Street brokerage and bank summoned workers to be on duty New Year's Eve to soothe panicky customers.

Last year, CNN reported that the New York Stock Exchange was considering closing on the 31st of December because its managers fear that all prior dealings could be accidentally invalidated due to Year-2000 errors.

This panic was unnecessary.

Rational information about Y2K and the real problems it might bring has long been available. O'Reilly's "Year 2000 In A Nutshell," reviewed on Slashdot, pointed out that Y2K problems could be real for small businesses, or for organizations in the safety and health fields, and that Y2K confusion would likely trigger legal witch-hunts, as companies and governments try to pin the blame for clerical and other problems on someone.

But no rational engineers or software experts have ever predicted the kids of planes- falling- from- the- skies- no- banking- records- food- and- water- and- electrictity Armageddon scenarios portrayed by NBC or that have been rocketing around the media for so long.

"After that stupid movie, our customers went through the roof," e-mailed a senior investment banker. "Can't you people do something?"

No, truthfully, nobody can. NBC has belatedly joined a wave of mindless media coverage about Y2K that's been underway for years.

So here's a chance to stand your ground; take the Y2K Sanity Pledge, a vote for rationalism. Make a personal statement about what steps you will or won't take in regards to Y2K.

I'll go first:

Regarding the Y2K and computer programs, I pledge that:

I will not take a single extra dime out of the bank, despite the dunder-headed recommendations of the American Red Cross, various government officials, and our phobic, sound-the-alarm media. The fiscal year is already 2000 for most financial software programs. Any financial institution one would even remotely think of putting your money in made the change months ago. If they didn't, your money is already in trouble.

I will not fly any aircraft out of the former Soviet Union or any of its republics whose names end in "stan." But then, I wouldn't even without the alleged Y2K bug. There's phobia and then there's common sense.

I will not buy extra batteries, purchase a corded telephone, stockpile an extra loaf of bread or jug of water. On New Year's Day, my family and I will behave the way we always do, which to say oversleep and lie around like slugs.

I will not read a newspaper or watch a TV news broadcast for five days before New Year's. In fact, I will not read or view any mainstream media story, print or broadcast, on this subject ever again, starting now. If I'm wrong, and the world collapses January l, it probably won't matter, but I'll be happy to take the heat, if there's any way left to flame me.

Hysteria and ignorance should not only not be rewarded; they should be resisted at every turn.

The Monica Lewinsky coverage exhausted my Stupidity Quotient for the remainder of the 90's, even though our modern media seems to have an inexhaustible supply of stupid information. We still have the presidential elections to get through, perhaps the dumbest exercise of them all.

I will not sue any small firm or business that didn't have the money, foresight or skill to become Y2K compliant. Stuff happens.

After reading the messages posted on this Thread - my final involvement with the mythical bug -- I will not mention Y2K again this year, orally or in writing. There are actual issues and problems in the world. This isn't one of them, and hasn't really ever been.

What will I do on New Year's Eve? That's simpler:

I'll stay in, with perhaps a few hours' break to catch a movie. I plan to be in a small cabin on a mountaintop in upstate New York, venturing into the cold to watch planes not fall out of the sky, then retreating indoors to sit by the fire.

I may briefly visit a favorite conferencing system, message program, weblog or mailing list at midnight - maybe /. - to welcome the Millenium online. That seems fitting. But not until after I've kissed my wife, called my kid and patted my dogs.

What about you?