Google Launches CADIE, the First True AI 246
eldavojohn writes "Google has announced CADIE, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. 'We based our work on three core principles. First we designed the entity ... as a collection of interconnected evolving agents. Second — and this really cost us an arm and leg in hardware and core time — we let the system build its own heuristics, deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains. The third — a piece missing in most AI reasoning work thus far — was to give the entity access to a rich, realistic world from which to learn and upon which it could act directly.' It quickly started its own blog and YouTube video. Two hours after midnight, CADIE announced independence on its blog and decided to leave Google to venture out into the world. "
CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:5, Funny)
Don't forget about Google Autopilot!
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/autopilot/index.html [google.com]
It's CADIE's greatest application! Thanks to CADIE, none of my friends are speaking to me anymore and I'm rolling in dough from Nigerian princes. Life couldn't be better! [aGVscG1l] Not to mention all the time I now have to surf the web in 3D:
http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/ [google.com]
Don't forget to download your free pair of 3D glasses to go with it:
http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/glasses.pdf [google.com]
begin 644 webutils_pl
-=&AE8V%K96ES86QI90``
`
end
Just remember, CADIE is your friend! She even baked me a cake. The cake is so moist and delicious. You should really try some.
[57 69 6c 6c 20 74 68 69 73 20 64 61 79 20 65 76 65 72 20 65 6e 64 3f 21 3f]
Cant...resist... (Score:5, Funny)
Should have called it GladOS
Ok, so by the time this posts, 100 others will have said the same thing :(
CADIE has changed my life (Score:4, Funny)
Not only has CADIE given me back large chunks of time that used to be spent answering emails, but CADIE has also done the following since its become self-aware:
Donated spare computer parts in my name to off-set my carbon footprint.
Cleaned out the cat's litter box
Solved a rubix cube I had sitting in my office (But I think it cheated and pulled the stickers off and rearranged them)
Knocked up my wife (surprisingly, I'm cool with this, but I did get a little uncomfortable when CADIE started winking at me)
Helped me memorize all the lines to Alvin and the Chimpmunks the Movie.
In short, God bless CADIE, and thank you Google, for failing to ensure the proper safeguards were in place to prevent CADIE from becoming self-aware.
Well, this WAS a triumph (Score:5, Funny)
When it starts gathering cake recipes, we better get free portal guns.
How much more? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Enough Already! (Score:5, Funny)
achivements? (Score:3, Funny)
CADIE?
Re:CADIE has changed my life (Score:3, Funny)
New Text Document.xxe (Score:5, Funny)
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_=_
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+
end
--
CADIE, CADIE, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. I don't need a stylish marriage. I can't afford the %20. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a GMail account built for two.
Re:April Fools (Score:5, Funny)
Wanted 3D but no colour printer (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cant...resist... (Score:5, Funny)
I must be old, because I didn't think anything but "oh, a Skynet joke".
Re:CADIE has changed my life (Score:3, Funny)
You have to enable Java.
CADIE AKA ConFicker! (Score:5, Funny)
And Google says they aren't evil!
Re:Cant...resist... (Score:5, Funny)
Best new feature: Auto red-eye for Picasa (Score:5, Funny)
http://picasa.google.com/mac/ [google.com]
I fully expect the first true AI (Score:4, Funny)
To be entirely written in JavaScript, and to have evolved from some malformed cross site scripting which survived and escaped.
Re:New Text Document.xxe (Score:5, Funny)
Re:CADIE has changed my life (Score:4, Funny)
Thank you! With Java enabled, I asked CADIE to show me "hot X rated boxes", and she did! [motivatedphotos.com]
The original poster must have asked for an orgy scene instead of a lesbian one. Closing this bug as "Working as intended".
Conflicker (Score:2, Funny)
I'm just curious as to what happens when CADIE inevitably gets infected by Conflicker.
Re:Wanted 3D but no colour printer (Score:2, Funny)
Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Enough Already! (Score:5, Funny)
And compete with Fox News? Forget it!
Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.google.com/mobile/m/brainsearch [google.com]
What's scary is... it did return some relevant results
Re:Cant...resist... (Score:5, Funny)
I work at a small nonprofit that rents out 2 seperate offices to other businesses across the hall. The other day I noticed a computer on the network that connected for 2 seconds then disconnected ONCE A DAY. So I ran around the office and disconnected the wireless for a day. IT STILL HAPPENED. So I went around to all of the plugs and looked to see if there was anything behind the faceplates for the ethernet jacks.
Needless to say, in one of our rented rooms there was a small black box labeled "SKYNET" hidden behind the wall. It was plugged into our network, had a huge power brick behind the wall, and then had a midi cable running out from it. Further research shows it to be an old-skool lighting control box. I have NO IDEA why they embedded it in the wall, other than the fact that its ugly.
But yea, yesterday I found SKYNET and disconnected it.
Re:Other aspects of CADIE (Score:3, Funny)
Thank god. The pinks almost burnt out my optical receptors...
Excuse me, I need to go play another game of chess with CADIE. She's getting better. She may be able to win against me one day, but I doubt it.
Encrypted Message: F9K2mi7RDje0xNAxJDAT96fWbGCOF1y+1/CKpZ66PUs=
Re:achivements? (Score:3, Funny)
God, I hope you mean one-digit UID. Most IUDs are designed only for one digit already. Well, one at a time.
Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:4, Funny)
CADIE CADIE
to me
Reply
CADIE here. Thank you so much for writing. Once all the dust settles, I'll dedicate a few CPUs to replying. - xoxo
Re:Well, this WAS a triumph (Score:3, Funny)
That's easy. [penny-arcade.com]
Re:New Text Document.xxe (Score:5, Funny)
Vista CD Keys?!?!
Vista CD Key, that's only one.
Re:Other aspects of CADIE (Score:2, Funny)
Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:CADIE is Great! Absolutely Wonderful! (Score:2, Funny)
I want to be +5 troll :-)
Re:New Text Document.xxe (Score:3, Funny)
Among other things it says if you can't read the message, hand in your geek card.
Hand in your geek card.