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Facebook Knows When You'll Get Dumped 474

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the wait-what-now dept.
Pickens writes "Cnet reports that according to a graphic making the rounds online that uses Facebook status updates to chart what time of year people are splitting up, there are three big spikes on the calendar for breakups — just after Valentine's Day, just before spring break and two weeks before Christmas. British journalist and graphic designer David McCandless, who specializes in showcasing data in visual ways, compiled the chart after scraping 10,000 Facebook status updates for the phrases 'breakup' and 'broken up.' 'Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse,' writes Chris Matyszczyk. 'Continuing with this obviously accurate analysis, perhaps it's men who do more of the dumping just before spring break, as for some —however unfairly — their main concern lies in how their girl will look on the beach.'"
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Facebook Knows When You'll Get Dumped

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  • by masmullin (1479239) <masmullin@gmail.com> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:16PM (#34125426)

    I read slashdot... I dont have to worry about this.

    • Re:I read slashdot (Score:4, Insightful)

      by gandhi_2 (1108023) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:18PM (#34125438) Homepage

      No joke. Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.

      • Re:I read slashdot (Score:5, Insightful)

        by daid303 (843777) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:36PM (#34125720)

        Wake me up when it tells me when I'll get hooked up in the first place.

        You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.

        • by Jurily (900488) <jurily@noSpAM.gmail.com> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:39PM (#34126682)

          You will if you really wanted to. But what I noticed with most geeks is that they don't care. They wouldn't mind it, but don't care enough to really go for it.

          Meh. Computers are more predictable.

        • Re:I read slashdot (Score:4, Insightful)

          by Merk42 (1906718) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:59PM (#34126994)
          When they do go for it and are STILL unsuccessful, then they're just fed the line "oh it won't happen when you're looking for it..."
        • Re:I read slashdot (Score:4, Interesting)

          by Grishnakh (216268) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @05:39PM (#34130172)

          Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the person.

          I don't know what "gandhi_2" looks like, how old he (I'm assuming it's a he) is, how much money he has, or what kind of personality he has. But while it's probably true he could find someone if he really wanted to, that someone might not be someone he really wants to bother with. If he doesn't have the attributes to attract a female that's up to his standard, then he either has to lower his standards, or go without. He could be choosing to go without. Seriously, if the only kind of woman that was interested in you was a nasty, ugly fat women missing teeth with serious B.O., would you bother to go find one of those, or would you sit at home and try to find a way to be a happy single man? I'd choose the latter.

          Now, you might say something like "he should work on himself then, so that he's more attractive to better-quality women". That may or may not be possible. Maybe he's cursed with extremely ugly looks, perhaps from a birth defect, or is seriously obese and it's not coming off no matter how much he exercises (there's a theory now that obesity can be caused by a virus). Maybe he has a personality that doesn't attract women; perhaps he's slightly autistic and socially retarded. There's only so much people like that can do, but women aren't really interested in guys with weird personality defects, even if it isn't their fault. Or, he might simply be old. Unless you're a millionaire, or one of the guys who somehow stays really attractive when he's 60, older men can't really attract attractive women.

          In my experience (I'm 36, and luckily married), as you get older, the pool of available women dries up pretty quickly. They usually get hooked up pretty early (high school or college), and after that's it's all downhill. After about 30, the only women who are available are 1) divorced, 2) widowed (rare), 3) never married. Many of them now have kids by other men, so the older the woman, the more likely she is to have kids, which means that's a giant complication and factor for you, a prospective boyfriend and husband, to consider. It's hard enough to find a woman you really like and get along with, but now you have to get along with her kids, who could very well have a bunch of emotional issues because their father is gone or they're shared between the two.

          Now, in group 1) (divorced women), there's a higher chance the woman will have emotional issues herself: she's "damaged goods". Basically, the more bad relationships a person goes through in their life (and obviously, if they ended in break-up or divorce they weren't "good relationships"), the more psychological issues that person will have, more "baggage". This is yet another obstacle to a healthy relationship. Also important is why the previous relationship(s) ended. Is she a nut or a bitch, who drove away the other men? Or does she keep picking crappy men?

          Group 2) is a little better, because at least their relationship didn't end because someone was a jerk, it ended because someone unfortunately died too early. But there could still be some emotional problems there. However, premature death (like before 40 years old) is pretty rare these days in the middle class and above, so there's not many women in this group, though there's probably tons of women in the ghetto who could claim this status, but I don't think Slashdotters are typically interested in ghetto-dwelling women whose prior husbands were gang members who got killed in gang warfare.

          Group 3) isn't so hot either. If a woman isn't married (or in a LTR) by the time she's 30, then why not? If she just wanted to wait, just didn't happen to find the right guy, or concentrated too much on her important work as a scientific researcher trying to find the cure for AIDS or cancer or whatever, then you may have found a really great woman. But it's much more likely that she's not married because there's something wrong with her, and she didn't even get as far as the women in group 1), and men ran from her be

      • Re:I read slashdot (Score:5, Insightful)

        by master0ne (655374) <emberingdeadN05P4M.gmail@com> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:41PM (#34125812)

        your not reading between the lines here.... if you read between the lines it says to do something REALLY romantic for a chick right AFTER V-Day or before spring break... or 2 weeks before X-Mas, and you can steal her away from that Jock asshole..... (a side note, you may consider renewing your health/life insurance as well before you do this)

        • Re:I read slashdot (Score:5, Insightful)

          by Skarecrow77 (1714214) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @02:31PM (#34127586)

          ahh the "i can get her from the jock asshole if she sees my sensitive side" strategy.

          Take it from someone who was "that guy" for the better part of a decade, It's doesn't work.

          She's dating the jock asshole because she LIKES jock assholes. That's a point that most introverted shy nerdly types never understand. They don't understand why the girl of their affections would date such a worthless dipshit, so they do their best to be the opposite of that dipshit, never realizing that they're pushing themselves into the friend zone by consciously choosing to be the opposite of what the girl wants.

          She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?), and she recognizes your efforts a lot more than you think she does. A lot of girls dig the jock jerks. live with it. some will grow out of it, some wont. if they are going to grow out of it, you can't hurry that up. just wait it out and stop trying so hard.

          • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

            She knows what you're doing. She's not an idiot (and if she is really that dumb, why do you want her?).

            I was totally with you until then. Clearly they want her because she is hot. Duh. Her intelligence probably has nothing to do with it. This was a concept I wrestled with as a teenager. I operated under the assumption that anything I wanted so badly had to be worthy of that desire. Therefore, I projected the illusion of intelligence onto beautiful girls, and ended up surprised time and again when they would date the most idiotic jerks they could find, and generally competed with one another to make the

      • by mini me (132455)

        Facebook knows that too [cnn.com].

    • by thePowerOfGrayskull (905905) <marc.paradise@NOSpaM.gmail.com> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:30PM (#34126548) Homepage Journal

      I read slashdot... I dont have to worry about this.

      I dunno, I just updated my status to say how I'm all broken up about it...

  • So do I... (Score:5, Funny)

    by eln (21727) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:18PM (#34125440) Homepage
    right after I take my girlfriend back to my place and she sees my extensive collection of hand-painted D&D figurines.
    • by spun (1352) <loverevolutionar ... m ['o.c' in gap]> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:26PM (#34125554) Journal

      Somewhere, out there, there is a woman who has all the same interests you do. She's a lesbian.

      • by dintech (998802) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:30PM (#34125642)

        That's awesome. I like lesbians almost as much as I like D&D.

      • by TheThiefMaster (992038) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:33PM (#34125684)

        Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are, regardless of the D&D figurines (or warhammer, or computers, or model railway...).

        • by Beyond_GoodandEvil (769135) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:37PM (#34125752) Homepage
          Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are
          Yes, she's called your mother. Oh, you meant someone not related?
          • Re:So do I... (Score:4, Interesting)

            by TheThiefMaster (992038) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:42PM (#34125828)

            I was actually implying that I'd found such a person, and extrapolating it to mean that anyone could. That's probably flawed.

            • by ByOhTek (1181381)

              So... You're dating your mother...?

              ewwww...

            • by Late Adopter (1492849) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:15PM (#34126320)
              Well, if you're not going to date your mother then, can I?
        • Somewhere out there is a woman who loves you for who you are, regardless of the D&D figurines (or warhammer, or computers, or model railway...).

          My mom's already married!

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by billius (1188143)

          Mod parent up. A post from cayenne8 somewhere above extolled the values of "[learning] how [women] think" by listening to the PUA-types. After many years of being frustrated, I tried this approach. I read "The Game", started dressing a certain way, used the tips from the book and all in all tried to "alpha" myself up. To a certain extent it worked. I was actually able to talk to girls at bars and parties and get them to laugh at my jokes and succeed at getting some numbers and some casual making out on

      • My wife is straight, attractive, shares most of my interests, and, yes, sometimes paints D&D minis.

        Somebody has to win the nerd lottery, right?

        • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

          by boxxertrumps (1124859)

          The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower.
          She was still there when I got out.
          This "awesome girlfriend" litmus test is 100% accurate so far. :3

          • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

            by Anonymous Coward

            The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower.

            I'm glad you didn't take a dump in her lap and then leave her to shower whilst you read your comics.

          • by tehcyder (746570)

            The first time I had my now-girlfriend over, I dumped a load of comic in her lap, then left her alone while I took a shower. She was still there when I got out.

            I've never heard it called that before.

      • by rakuen (1230808)
        There's a second girl. Unfortunately, she's already taken. Sorry bro, my bad.
      • by ByOhTek (1181381)

        I wish I could tell you how many women I know who aren't lesbians who like D&D (or, in most cases, Warhammer) minis...

        Only one of them would be worth anyone's time though.

    • by Syberz (1170343)

      right after I take my girlfriend back to my place and she sees my extensive collection of hand-painted D&D figurines.

      Mine is definitely a keeper because she didn't run for the hills after seeing my collection of Queen of the Damned, Total Recall, Resident Evil 1 and 2 and X-Files movie props. She was rather keen of my Han Solo frozen in carbonite bust and thought that it was cool that it was cast using the original mold.

      No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend.

      • by Nidi62 (1525137)

        No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend.

        My girlfriend is my WoW clan mate, you insensitive clod!

        Seriously, we met playing WoW

      • by tehcyder (746570)

        No, I'm not talking about my mom or a WoW clan mate. I really do have a girlfriend

        Have you ever heard the phrase "the lady doth protest too much"?

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:20PM (#34125462)

    So, what did YOU do for your man this Valentines, ladies?

    Give him a present he both needs and loves: FRIGGING DIRECTION.

    DON'T go "if you really knew me, you'd know what I want". ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

    OK?

    ffs...

    • by gstoddart (321705) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:24PM (#34125506) Homepage

      DON'T go "if you really knew me, you'd know what I want". ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

      Someone sounds bitter. ;-)

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward

      It's 2010. Women are supposed to be equal to men. It's your turn to take your boyfriend out, ladies. You've demanded equality. You got it. Now act like it!

      • by ElectricTurtle (1171201) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:41PM (#34125804)
        Dude, seriously. Nothing bothers me like women who have a princess complex and want to be given all of the deference for none of the cost. I have no problem treating women as equals, they are equals, but with that comes opening doors for yourself, sharing bills, registering for the draft (which should happen but doesn't), competing for lifeboats and all the rest. You can't have equality and special treatment both.
        • by Defenestrar (1773808) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:22PM (#34126418)
          As the gentleman said to the feminist: "I didn't open the door for you because you're a woman. I opened the door for you because I am a man."
      • by tehcyder (746570)
        And another nerd hits the day-after-Valentine's barrier.
    • by Hatta (162192)

      If your GF needs anything more than a small box of fine chocolates and a good romp in the sack, she's too high maintenance anyway.

  • by clone53421 (1310749) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:20PM (#34125466) Journal

    Facebook doesn’t “know” when I’ll get dumped. Aggregated data, which happened to be obtained from facebook, revealed that the average person is more likely to get dumped at certain times of the year, but that’s useless when making a prediction for an individual.

    Besides which, I’d need a girlfriend first.

    • by gstoddart (321705) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:26PM (#34125546) Homepage

      Facebook doesn’t “know” when I’ll get dumped

      Oh, sure they do.

      Jane heard it from Wanda who read it on Judy's Facebook page that according to Robert who spoke with Susie, you're SO getting dumped this weekend. Totally.

      • by Tackhead (54550) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:44PM (#34125852)

        Facebook doesn't "know" when I'll get dumped

        Oh, sure they do.

        Jane heard it from Wanda who read it on Judy's Facebook page that according to Robert who spoke with Susie, you're SO getting dumped this weekend. Totally.

        ...who saw the original poster pass out 31 Flavors last night! I guess it's pretty serious.

        Actually, it's not even that complicated. I'm not sure whether adding in third- and fourth-order effects would increase accuracy or just muddy the waters, so let's take the simplest possible option: our old friends Alice, Bob, and Charlie.

        Suppose we start with Alice and Bob, who are presumed to be in a relationship with each other by virtue of frequent affectionate (as defined by keywords/scoring) communications with each other (both public and "private"). (e.g. "Alice u were so hot last nite!" "Luv u BOB"!)

        Then, observe a slight dropoff in affectionately-loaded keywords in the communications between Alice and Bob, and a spike in communications between Alice and Charlie. Furthermore, observe that Alice and Charlie's communications patterns have gone from "all/mostly in public, no/few affectionate keywords" to "no/minimal change in public communications, but a spike in 'private' communications".

        Furthermore, weight the language and tone in Alice and Charlie's public and private communications separately: If she's saying "'sup charlie" in public, and "OMG so good to see u again missed u so much" in private, the difference between the emotional tone of the Alice/Charlie public conversation and the Alice/Charlie private conversation is yet another big red flag.

        Facebook knows damn well when someone's about to get dumped. It's just not telling. (Unless it wants to monetize it by feeding Bob more ads for dating services the week before Valentine's Day, and Alice and Charlie start getting ads for restaurant reservations.)

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by gstoddart (321705)

          That's a stunningly deep analysis of information sharing/leakage between two parties as inferred by an outside observer in response to a joke about my perception of Facebook being more or less the functional equivalent of the high-school rumor game.

          Bravo, sir. :-P

      • by sorak (246725) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @02:44PM (#34127854)

        I knew when my ex created an event called "fuck off" and invited me to it.

    • by sakdoctor (1087155) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:27PM (#34125560) Homepage

      Has anyone made a bot that "plays" facebook yet?
      I bet a bot could be very socially successful on facebook, given the depth of the interaction. We could approach machine intelligence by lowering the standard for the Turing test.

      • by cupantae (1304123) <(moc.liamg) (ta) (llienoram)> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:40PM (#34125796)

        I think it wouldn't be too difficult to do one for /. either. All it would have to do is post immediately after the article hits the front page, and say:

        "The analysis here is hugely flawed. Sure, they say [something from the summary], but clearly haven't taken into account [something taken into account halfway through the article], so it can hardly be confirmed that [title]."

        That's a Score:5, Insightful comment right there.

        • Don't forget the "First Post!"
        • We have those already, they are called "bored sys admins." I think he was referring to a bot that poses as a facebook user; collecting friends, pretending to stay in touch, ignoring some posts, posting some nonsense and anti-facebook messages... oh wait, that's me again. Sorry! Sorry for the extra post and all. Terribly sorry. Won't happen again!

    • Besides which, I’d need a girlfriend first.

      You sir, have just hurt your hands feelings.

  • Valentines is totally understandable. Spring is too, and not because of the beach, but because of what spring is and what it represents. "Spring cleaning" generally means "Throwing out old stuff we don't want anymore" and spring is when most of nature thinks about hooking up, so it seems natural. But right before Christmas? Who wants to be alone on Christmas? I mean, that seems like a particularly bad time for a breakup, both for the dumper and the dumpee.

    • by stillnotelf (1476907) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:28PM (#34125592)
      If you aren't that into her/him, you don't want to spend the holidays with her/him. You don't want to visit your parents with her in tow, or visit his parents. You don't want to spend a bunch of money on a gift. You don't want to deal with a long-distance relationship for winter break, if you're in college. If there's a spring break spike then there will be a winter break spike.
    • by arivanov (12034)

      Quite clearly you never had to deal with the question of "whose parents are we visiting this Christmas".

      Once you have dealt with it a few times you will definitely understand that.

      That and coming back from the office party all smelling of perfume and having lipstick all over your shirt usually does not help your relationship.

      So the stats are probably correct.

      • by Nadaka (224565)

        That and coming back from the office party all smelling of perfume and having lipstick all over your shirt usually does not help your relationship.

        If you have the right kind of girl she will be upset because you didn't share.

    • by wjousts (1529427)
      Christmas gifts are expensive. If you don't really like the person and you're convinced that their gift to you is unlikely to be something you want, you might as well cut the tie before the holiday. Plus it gives you a free hand for the drunken office holiday party.
    • by nedlohs (1335013)

      Because you know you just can't one more Christmas with that damn family.

    • I've never had a relationship that survived winter. I also suffer from SAD. I'm in great spirits in the summer, but when the days shorten it gets a whole lot tougher to stay on top of things, including relationships.

  • There is a theory that young men break up with their girlfriends right before Christmas because they want to avoid having to buy a gift.

    • There is another theory that young women wait to break up with their boyfriends until right after Christmas so he’ll have to get them something.

    • by dkleinsc (563838)

      Another very likely reason for the breakup spike in mid-December: First-year college students come back to their hometowns and decide that their long-distance relationship with their high school sweetheart is unworkable. Any decent adult caretaker of a soon-to-be college student ought to make sure they know that, because plenty of first-year students spend a lot of time and money traveling to see their long-distance SOs.

  • I'm getting married exactly two weeks before Christmas. I don't use Facebook but my fiancée does. Perhaps I need to start monitoring her status. ;-)
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:27PM (#34125582)

    Any woman who doesn't appreciate the fine cuisine of an Outback Steakhouse isn't worth a man's time, anyhow. The ambiance and food quality are second only to Olive Garden.

  • ...the upshot is that now you know the right times to ask people out with a higher chance of success.

    facebook still won't replace the value of actual face-to-face conversation and interaction, and this is something it will never achieve.
    • by hoggoth (414195)

      > ...the upshot is that now you know the right times to ask people out with a higher chance of success.

      You should already know this.

      All. The. Time.

  • I've seen it happen. Something symbolic about that day makes people out others in affairs and for discrete affairs to become indiscreet.

  • Before Christmas? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by segedunum (883035) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:42PM (#34125824)
    I always thought the traditional breakup time was after Christmas, when you'd spent far too much time with her and her family and ended up never wanting to see them again and the only reason she was with you over the festive period was to avoid being alone?
  • * Valentine's Day: people don't want to be alone for the holiday; at least without enough time to find a replacement!
    * Spring Break: people want to pick up new and exciting mates on vacation.
    * Christmas: going home for the holidays and know you'll get your space for at least a couple of days.

    I'd also guess the numbers are slanted towards younger people where these time periods have more of a common significance (kids going home for college breaks, even having a Spring break, etc.).

  • Quote Sources! (Score:4, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:45PM (#34125858)

    Come on, Slashdot. This information (and the graph to go with it) is originally by David McCandless and Lee Bryon in this book [amazon.com] back in 2008 and was copied by someone. See Peak Break-Up Times On Facebook [informatio...utiful.net].

  • by box4831 (1126771) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:45PM (#34125868)

    appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?" write Chris Matyszczyk

    Im more appalled at my attempts to pronounce that last name

    • by $RANDOMLUSER (804576) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:02PM (#34126154)

      appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?" write Chris Matyszczyk

      Im more appalled at my attempts to pronounce that last name

      If you can trick him into saying his name backwards, it will return him to his own dimension [wikipedia.org] for at least 90 days.

  • Good Riddance (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Lumpy (12016) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:46PM (#34125878) Homepage

    "Might I suggest that, immediately after Valentine's, some women might be casting men from their sight, appalled that their lovers could think of nothing more romantic than roses from the supermarket and dinner at Outback Steakhouse?"

    If your Girl is that shallow.... It was a GOOD THING(tm) that she "dumped you".

    Honestly, some guys cant afford more than that on a silly holiday created by a greeting card company. IF she wants Diamonds on Valentines day, Kick that gold digger to the curb pronto!

    • Re:Good Riddance (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Rene S. Hollan (1943) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:22PM (#34126430)

      You can do the roses thing, and get away with it, without appearing cheap or unoriginal. But, while original, alas it also won't be cheap.

      Get more than a dozen variegated roses. TWO dozen is a nice, round, number. Expect to pay between $100 and $200. (On the upside, that usually includes a vase.) Send them to her place of work. This is important: she has to have a job. More on that later.

      This will have the following effect:

      1. All her female coworkers will note, "Hey, there's more than a dozen here!". They will exude thinly veiled jealousy: their SOs never splurged that much. She will feel smug in front of them. (whether she actually wants such things from you is another matter.)

      2. The more astute will point out that they are variegated. These are not cheap $11.99/dozen roses.

      3. She will realize that you actually had the guts to be so public about your affection. After all, she could utterly dismiss your infantile display. True, but you aren't actually there. It will pass, and if she does and dumps you over it, you have saved the cost of dinner, and future courtship. Note: $150 for the flowers would be cheap by comparison.

      4. She will realize that you went to some hardship to spend that kind of money on her. After all, she works for a living too and knows it's hard to earn. Granted, she might dismiss it as wasteful (but, you would probably know that aspect of her personality by now), but hey, it's once a year, and ya gotta live at least a little, no?

      O.K. You've made your "investment". Over the next weeks and months, see what the return is. The real measure of a woman is not whether she will "service you" (note: hookers are cheaper than roses, and reciprocal booty calls and NSA relationships don't require them -- they are business arrangements), but rather if she will endure hardship for you.

      And, always, always, remember this: if you get dumped over your display, it was a cheap lesson in the long run,

      • Re:Good Riddance (Score:4, Insightful)

        by slim (1652) <john@nOspam.hartnup.net> on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:38PM (#34126658) Homepage

        Be very, very wary about generalising about what women want.

        Some women would love to get an ostentatious bouquet of flowers at work. Others would be deeply embarrassed by it.

        How to know? That's the tricky bit.

  • by Animats (122034) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:56PM (#34126044) Homepage

    There's potential for a great Facebook app here - the Dump-O-Meter. This would monitor messages to and from someone you're in a relationship with. Tally the positive and negative adjectives, and the response timing. If you send to your SO, how long does it take to get a response, and vice versa? How has that response time changed over time?

    Collect this data for a large number of users, and observe when the "In a relationship" status changes. Dump the data into a machine learning algorithm like a support vector machine and build a predictive model. To analyze messages, repurpose a spam filter program.

    Provide the user with warning messages when the predictor says the risk of being dumped is climbing. Attach ads for flowers, candy, travel, etc.

    Generate revenue by selling lists of people just dumped to dating services.

  • Context (Score:5, Interesting)

    by SteveAyre (209812) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @12:57PM (#34126058)

    The guy's completely ignored context though.

    What about school/college university terms breaking up? They all break up for spring break and christmas.

    I expect more people round those times were blogging things like 'I can't wait until we break up for christmas'' than were saying they were dumped. Which makes the entire chart meaningless.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by canajin56 (660655)
      Really? More, meaning you think that at least 50% of people, when saying something about "breaking up" with their girlfriend just mean they're going to their home towns for Christmas, not that they have stopped dating? That's absurd. To say that even 5% of people use the term "breakup" to mean something other than a relationship ending is probably far too high. I have never heard anybody talking about a holiday as a "breakup" with their school year. Nobody talks like that. A human should know that sor
  • A graph like this should be cyclical, with a smooth curve between the far right and the far left. It shows a big rise in late December, the highest point in the year, followed by an instantaneous drop-off in early January to one of the lowest points.

    Is there some sudden function that occurs on New Year's Day that makes people stay in love? One that just happens to occur at the same time as the arbitrary graph endpoints?

    I suspect what's going on is that Facebook grows through the year, and that there needs

  • Now, obviously a relationship that is already long distance has its own challenges involved, but I'm curious how the data would apply to it. The latter two breakup events are probably due to breaks which would separate two people for a week or more. What if you're already in separate places? Does it happen as often, or is the occurance noticably diminished?
  • by Fantastic Lad (198284) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:36PM (#34126638)

    This only demonstrates that there are enough selfish, sociopathic creeps out there (of both sexes), to shape behavioral bell-curves for entire populations.

    No surprise there.

    Anybody here ever snap awake with a sudden wave of panic to the fact that you're locked up in a cage packed full of mindless, wild animals masquerading as human and there's not a damned thing you can do about it other than hope you can distract them long enough to avoid getting your jugular ripped open with their zombie fangs? Yes? Then you probably don't fit into that above-mentioned bell-curve.

    -FL

  • by Chelloveck (14643) on Thursday November 04, 2010 @01:45PM (#34126748) Homepage

    Just to screw with Facebook's statistics, my wife changes her "in a relationship with..." person every day.

    At least, she says it's just to mess with Facebook...

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